North Korea test Nuke

06-01-2016 11:20AM

xband wrote: »

I'm amazed North Korea hasn't collapsed by now. It just seems to be such a horrible regime that an uprising should have happened.

The people are pretty much broken at this stage.

Shrap · 06-01-2016 11:21AM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

This the start of the annual 'pay attention to me' North Korean shenanigans?

It's Kim's birthday on Friday apparently. "For my birthday, I would like.....recognition! I'm so wonewy, so wonewy....". Just like his Daddy, bless.

nokia69 · 06-01-2016 11:25AM

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

The North must be short of food again.

The Dear Reader seems to have plenty

smash · 06-01-2016 11:25AM

Lets face it though, the world would be a bit duller if North Korea wasn't around. A country that doesn't start each new year on Jan 1st, oh no... they have their own 'Juche' calendar which starts each new year on April 15th. The date of Kim Il-sung’s birthday. They also have their own time zone!

Lets look at the 'facts' here people...

We'll start with Kim Jong Il, also known as Shining Star of Paektu Mountain, Guiding Sun Ray, Dear Leader, Great Leader, Respected Leader, Brilliant Leader, Sun of Socialism, The Great Sun of Life, Great Man Who Descended From Heaven, Invicible And Ever-Triumphant General and Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love.

Kim Jong Il was born in a log cabin inside a secret base on Korea’s most sacred mountain, Mt. Paekdu. At the moment of his birth, a bright star lit up the sky, the seasons spontaneously changed from winter to spring, and rainbows appeared.
Kimg Jong Il was the most prominent statesman in the present world, and people in countries the whole planet over celebrate his birthday with films and festivals.
Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger
In 1994, Kim Jong Il shot 38 under par on a regulation 18-hole golf course – including 5 holes in one! That score is 25 shots better than the best round in history.
Kim Jong Il distributed pamphlets advertising a wonder drug that would increase the height of short people. Those who responded to the pamphlets were sent away to different uninhabited islands along with the disabled in an attempt to rid the next generation of their supposedly substandard genes.
If Kim Jong Il was angry enough he would make it rain.
If Kim Jong Il never took a shit because he never needed to.

Now, Kim Jong Un:

He's the Simon Cowell of North Korea and specially hand-picked Korea’s first-ever all-female band 'The Moranbong Band'. Who were an instant success.
He has 3 birthdays. One of them is a national holiday.
His inspiring haircut is the most popular style in North Korea and is known as 'The ambition'.
He was voted the world’s sexiest man in 2012.
You can't really kill a Kim.... In fact, Kim Jong Un is subordinate to his grandfather Kim Il-sung who died over 20 years ago.
He cared so much for his father that if you are not seen to be grieving wholeheartedly when he is mentioned… You’ll be strapped to a mortar bomb.
When he found out that his uncle was dreaming alternative dreams to the rest of the North Korean population, he had him executed.

They also gave us team america.

ScumLord · 06-01-2016 11:56AM

So basically N.Korea has the ability to blow themselves up even more so than before?

osarusan · 06-01-2016 12:05PM

First footage of bomb emerges.

Dohnjoe · 06-01-2016 12:35PM

xband wrote: »

I'm amazed North Korea hasn't collapsed by now. It just seems to be such a horrible regime that an uprising should have happened.

Unlikely, it's such a controlled society to such an extreme that an uprising is almost impossible. Generals are regularly culled to prevent coups and those that flee know that their family and even subsequent generations can be thrown into horrendous labour camps

China has the ability to shut the country down (it controls 70% of all gas into the country, plus most trade) but that would lead to a massive humanitarian catastrophy - if Europe is struggling with a few hundred thousand refugees, China would be in a far worse position trying to deal with 20+ million

One hope was that the Swiss educated Kim Jong-un might usher in some reforms, nope, the little ****er is nearly worse than his father

Grimly, one of the few things that could actually change the country politically would be a severe famine, but no doubt the leadership is acutely aware of this

jimgoose · 06-01-2016 12:40PM

biko wrote: »

All CAPS, THE WRITTEN EQUIVALENT OF A NUKE!!!

I ARE SERIOUS COUNTRY!! THIS SERIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

ohnonotgmail · 06-01-2016 12:40PM

Dohnjoe wrote: »

Unlikely, it's such a controlled society to such an extreme that an uprising is almost impossible. Generals are regularly culled to prevent coups and those that flee know that their family and even subsequent generations can be thrown into horrendous labour camps

China has the ability to shut the country down (it controls 70% of all gas into the country, plus most trade) but that would lead to a massive humanitarian catastrophy - if Europe is struggling with a few hundred thousand refugees, China would be in a far worse position trying to deal with 20+ million

One hope was that the Swiss educated Kim Jong-un might usher in some reforms, nope, the little ****er is nearly worse than his father

Grimly, one of the few things that could actually change the country politically would be a severe famine, but no doubt the leadership is acutely aware of this

they have already had one severe famine where possibly more than a million died. Its hard to organise an uprising when you are too busy trying to get your next meal.

jimgoose · 06-01-2016 12:41PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

North Korea is like a stupid yet dangerous dog. Instead of wagging its tail when looking for attention, it growls, but one of these days it's going to bare too many teeth and some poor eejit (China probably, it was their pet to start with) is going to have to put it down.

I'd say if he is actually detonating thermonukes over there it's about time to give him an almighty running-kick to the goolies, partly for his own good, you understand.

arayess · 06-01-2016 12:45PM

The Sun King wrote: »

Tinfoil hat brigade are already out.

"Did you know that the N.Korean central bank is one of the few banks not run by the "ROTHCHILDS"!"

well it's true isn't it.

ectoraige · 06-01-2016 12:51PM

Weathercheck wrote: »

I'm surprised with all the intelligence, satellite etc. that South Korea didn't fore-warn of this outcome.

They did; from the OP (emphasis mine):

North Korea may be preparing to test thermonuclear weapons capabilities at its Punggye-ri nuclear test site, Yonhap News reported earlier this month.

Avatar MIA · 06-01-2016 12:52PM

smash wrote: »

Kim Jong Il distributed pamphlets advertising a wonder drug that would increase the height of short people. Those who responded to the pamphlets were sent away to different uninhabited islands along with the disabled in an attempt to rid the next generation of their supposedly substandard genes.

As evil genius tricks go, this is quite a clever one.

c_man · 06-01-2016 12:52PM

I think they're spot on and we should really learn a thing or two from them. Imagine September 2008 that instead of ploughing billions into the banks, we put that money into a nuke program. A few years later we could let one off in Leitrim whenever we wanted the other countries to give us money/food/whatever.

That and the snazzy haircuts. We'd be set.

smash · 06-01-2016 12:54PM

Avatar MIA wrote: »

As evil genius tricks go, this is quite a clever one.

Yea, but the fucker wore 4 inch platforms. He didn't deport himself!

Sunnyisland · 06-01-2016 12:56PM

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

The North must be short of food again.

With the new M1 we will get food to Belfast in no time :-)

Avatar MIA · 06-01-2016 12:58PM

smash wrote: »

Yea, but the fucker wore 4 inch platforms. He didn't deport himself!

No, that's because he didn't reply to the pamphlet :pac:

Mint Sauce · 06-01-2016 12:59PM

Are the general population of NK still to busy celebrating winning the Rugby WC, to even notice Kim carried out a test of a nuke anyway.

Dohnjoe · 06-01-2016 01:10PM

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

they have already had one severe famine where possibly more than a million died. Its hard to organise an uprising when you are too busy trying to get your next meal.

The system is really just a glass house built on fear. With a starving populace that fear is diminished. It's not so much that the pop would "rise up", more likely that the system would break down under the strain

Famines also have the opposite effect, they can consolidate the regime. Either way, there's little hope of change

I wouldn't even go so far as to call it a country, it has more similarities to a tightly controlled cult on a national level

xband · 06-01-2016 02:04PM

The cracks will eventually emerge though. There's no real ability to keep people in the dark and brainwashed forever.

Shrap · 06-01-2016 02:18PM

xband wrote: »

The cracks will eventually emerge though. There's no real ability to keep people in the dark and brainwashed forever.

I don't know about that. There's generations upon generations of incredibly institutionalised people there. The group-think is just extraordinary, and I reckon if all their leaders were wiped out overnight, they'd be witless with fear of what to do without them and immediately put equally awful ones on a pedestal ASAP.

smash · 06-01-2016 02:21PM

Shrap wrote: »

I reckon if all their leaders were wiped out overnight, they'd be witless with fear of what to do without them

Probably a mass suicide pact as specified by Kim Jong Un in his will because when he dies the aliens are going to come down and burn them all alive. But if they drink the magic soda they'll join him in NK2.0

osarusan · 06-01-2016 02:29PM

I think it's a good example of how the 'We must stop tyranny and bring democracy and freedom' spiel is shown up to be total bullsh!t when there is no economic/political advantage to intervention.

Avatar MIA · 06-01-2016 02:31PM

osarusan wrote: »

I think it's a good example of how the 'We must stop tyranny and bring democracy and freedom' spiel is shown up to be total bullsh!t when there is no economic/political advantage to intervention.

They tried that some 60 years ago and didn't end well.

RobertKK · 06-01-2016 02:41PM

The people of North Korea do not rise up against the leadership as they are terrorised. They know to survice they have to play the longest running game of charades in public so they avoid eternal damnation to the concentration camps where an estimated 200,000 North Korean are imprisoned.
The UN has compared North Korea to being similar to Nazi Germany with wide scale atrocities carried out againt people who are viewed to have shown dissent.

The UN commission for human rights (and I will take some paragraphs form the Guardian): gathered evidence for almost a year, including often harrowing testimony at public hearings worldwide, said there was compelling evidence of torture, execution and arbitrary imprisonment, deliberate starvation and an almost complete lack of free thought and belief.

The UN say that people have been used as fertiliser.

At a press conference to launch the report, Kirby said there were "many parallels" between the evidence he had heard and crimes committed by the Nazis and their allies in the second world war. He noted the evidence of one prison camp inmate who said his duties involved burning the bodies of those who had starved to death and using the remains as fertiliser.

"When you see that image in your mind of bodies being burned it does bring back memories of the end of world war two, and the horror and the shame and the shock," Kirby said. "I never thought that in my lifetime it would be part of my duty to bring revelations of a similar kind."

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/feb/17/north-korea-human-rights-abuses-united-nations

When I think of North Korea, it is the people I think of and it makes one feel sad there is nothing one can do as the regime is extremely dangerous.

The people know what is going on, they just want to stay alive.

TeaBagMania · 06-01-2016 03:09PM

When are they going to pay Volvo for the cars they stole in 1974?

smash · 06-01-2016 03:14PM

TeaBagMania wrote: »

When are they going to pay Volvo for the cars they stole in 1974?

Kim Jong Il invented Volvo and built those cars with his bare hands out of sheet metal while he was taking after his 60th consecutive 9 dart finish in the world championships. He was just taking back what was his.

ScumLord · 06-01-2016 03:17PM

RobertKK wrote: »

The people of North Korea do not rise up against the leadership as they are terrorised. They know to survice they have to play the longest running game of charades in public so they avoid eternal damnation to the concentration camps where an estimated 200,000 North Korean are imprisoned.

It's funny that N.Korea and the US have similar incarceration rates.

ohnonotgmail · 06-01-2016 03:23PM

ScumLord wrote: »

It's funny that N.Korea and the US have similar incarceration rates.

As flawed as the US criminal system is i would still rather take my chances there than in N Korea.

ScumLord · 06-01-2016 03:34PM

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

As flawed as the US criminal system is i would still rather take my chances there than in N Korea.

I don't know, while you don't get the torture, becoming a prisoner in the US looks like a life changing event that can't be recovered from.

North Korea test Nuke

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