Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Pinch Flat · 05-01-2016 12:02PM

well spoken man wrote: »

People who use the phrase"reach out" and "leverage".....tools....

Going forward, I wish they would use some blue sky thinking then loop back with some low hanging fruit

brian_7070 · 05-01-2016 12:29PM

Once walked in to a manager’s office to ask him a question. He is typing something on his laptop and doesn’t stop or raise his head as I enter.
Me: (politely) Sorry can I ask you a question about the machine that needs to be looked at
Him: One second until I finish this (which is fine ..he keeps typing)
I stand there waiting patiently for a few seconds when he stops typing looks up at me , makes the shape of a gun with his thumb and index finger, points it at me and says
SHOOT
Don’t know why I was so surprised I knew he was a massive wanker

LeeLooLee · 05-01-2016 12:34PM

brian_7070 wrote: »

Once walked in to a manager’s office to ask him a question. He is typing something on his laptop and doesn’t stop or raise his head as I enter.
Me: (politely) Sorry can I ask you a question about the machine that needs to be looked at
Him: One second until I finish this (which is fine ..he keeps typing)
I stand there waiting patiently for a few seconds when he stops typing looks up at me , makes the shape of a gun with his thumb and index finger, points it at me and says
SHOOT
Don’t know why I was so surprised I knew he was a massive wanker

That's hilarious! Pure David Brent stuff. So awkward.

Strumms · 05-01-2016 12:48PM

Into The Blue wrote: »

Fingal Ravens/Kettle's???

Nope....... B***ym*n K&/€hams..... Same craic over the Christmas.... Such knuckle dragging wánkers.

Ol' Donie · 05-01-2016 01:29PM

Jake Stiles wrote: »

You need to take a step back
Its not a polished pearl yet
If I run into heavy winds
Cant turn a punto into a BMW
Need a helicopter view on it.
Take it off line
Rain check

Ha, helicopter view. I'm totally gonna use that.

OldNotWIse · 05-01-2016 02:04PM

gutenberg wrote: »

People 'fundraising' for that can, in bren's words, FRO. I don't know which is worse, the fact that some people feel this is something worthy of asking for donations (as if it's akin to climbing Everest), or the fact that some people clearly find it such a massive challenge to not have a drink for a month...

I suppose the theory is no different to fasting for Trocáire when we were kids. Give me money to starve for a day so that I can give it to poor people etc. Wouldn't be giving anyone money for giving up drink tbh, though it might merit more credit in this nation of out and out dipsos.

Also hate people who expect donations for doing stupid things like jumping out of planes and doing bungee jumps. Usually, the first couple of hundred raised has to pay for the actual jump and then only after that the money goes to the charity. Same with people trecking halfway around the world to save some remote lost cause and expecting their tickets and accommodation to be paid by others. Step over a homeless man on the street on your way to fly to Madagascar to save the giant stick insects. Then post pictures of your life changing escapades on social media so that everyone thinks you're exotic and great. Fúck off.

skittles8710 · 05-01-2016 02:54PM

bren2002 wrote: »

Is that a thing? They can FRO.
(unless people who type FRO are on the list. In which case soz! lols)

"On The Dry' is a campaign to raise money for the Irish Heart Foundation...

valoren · 05-01-2016 03:27PM

People who say they are going for/are getting....."a bite to eat"

:mad:

Ash.J.Williams · 05-01-2016 03:29PM

valoren wrote: »

or people who say they are going for/are getting....."a bite to eat"

:mad:

thank you!!! ha i hate that too...

i can add people who say "this food is tasty"

Brendan Bendar · 05-01-2016 06:03PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I suppose the theory is no different to fasting for Trocáire when we were kids. Give me money to starve for a day so that I can give it to poor people etc. Wouldn't be giving anyone money for giving up drink tbh, though it might merit more credit in this nation of out and out dipsos.

Also hate people who expect donations for doing stupid things like jumping out of planes and doing bungee jumps. Usually, the first couple of hundred raised has to pay for the actual jump and then only after that the money goes to the charity. Same with people trecking halfway around the world to save some remote lost cause and expecting their tickets and accommodation to be paid by others. Step over a homeless man on the street on your way to fly to Madagascar to save the giant stick insects. Then post pictures of your life changing escapades on social media so that everyone thinks you're exotic and great. Fúck off.

+ 1000%

gutenberg · 05-01-2016 06:24PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I suppose the theory is no different to fasting for Trocáire when we were kids. Give me money to starve for a day so that I can give it to poor people etc. Wouldn't be giving anyone money for giving up drink tbh, though it might merit more credit in this nation of out and out dipsos.

Also hate people who expect donations for doing stupid things like jumping out of planes and doing bungee jumps. Usually, the first couple of hundred raised has to pay for the actual jump and then only after that the money goes to the charity. Same with people trecking halfway around the world to save some remote lost cause and expecting their tickets and accommodation to be paid by others. Step over a homeless man on the street on your way to fly to Madagascar to save the giant stick insects. Then post pictures of your life changing escapades on social media so that everyone thinks you're exotic and great. Fúck off.

Absolutely agree.

gladrags · 06-01-2016 02:25AM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I suppose the theory is no different to fasting for Trocáire when we were kids. Give me money to starve for a day so that I can give it to poor people etc. Wouldn't be giving anyone money for giving up drink tbh, though it might merit more credit in this nation of out and out dipsos.

Also hate people who expect donations for doing stupid things like jumping out of planes and doing bungee jumps. Usually, the first couple of hundred raised has to pay for the actual jump and then only after that the money goes to the charity. Same with people trecking halfway around the world to save some remote lost cause and expecting their tickets and accommodation to be paid by others. Step over a homeless man on the street on your way to fly to Madagascar to save the giant stick insects. Then post pictures of your life changing escapades on social media so that everyone thinks you're exotic and great. Fúck off.

That's middle oireland for ya.

Them an appearance on.pat kenny or ryan tubs,for the plaudits.

RayM · 06-01-2016 04:27AM

Use of the term 'feminazi'.

LeeLooLee · 06-01-2016 04:52AM

RayM wrote: »

Use of the term 'feminazi'.

+1

No surer sign of a misogynist!

Robsweezie · 06-01-2016 05:29AM

Anyone who goes around spraying bottles of lucozade at people because it's a "laugh"

Yer Aul One · 06-01-2016 06:15AM

Anyone who when they sniff the smell of spliff in a public area like a concert, immediately start craning their neck around and exasperatedly telling their mates "someone is smoking a joint".

It's usually a wanker rush of people of who can smell and identify it first.

Suckler · 06-01-2016 06:39AM

During a discussion or debate, anyone that needs to exclaims "FACT!" at the end of their statement. Wanker. Usually patently wrong wanker, as their "evidence" is anecdotal and opinion.

Kev W · 06-01-2016 07:52AM

Anyone who thinks that if you don't like a thing they like then you "just need to give it a chance".

Maybe I gave it a lot of chances and still hated it!

DrPhilG · 06-01-2016 10:18AM

People who turn the handle of a public or work toilet even though there is clearly an indicator on the door that shows red or engaged when it is locked. If the door is closed, fair chance that it's occupied. If the red tab is showing then there's definitely someone in there!!! So FECK OFF!

Nothing worse that sitting there having your morning dump and some swine yanks the handle and scares the crap (whatever is left) out of you. There's always that split second of irrationality where you doubt if you locked it before you sat down.

I feel like shouting out at them.

OldNotWIse · 06-01-2016 10:56AM

DrPhilG wrote: »

People who turn the handle of a public or work toilet even though there is clearly an indicator on the door that shows red or engaged when it is locked. If the door is closed, fair chance that it's occupied. If the red tab is showing then there's definitely someone in there!!! So FECK OFF!

Nothing worse that sitting there having your morning dump and some swine yanks the handle and scares the crap (whatever is left) out of you. There's always that split second of irrationality where you doubt if you locked it before you sat down.

I feel like shouting out at them.

:D:D

Sometimes it goes back in!

OldNotWIse · 06-01-2016 11:02AM

Anyone with a beautiful wild animal slung dead across their shoulders as some kind of trophy.

osarusan · 06-01-2016 01:36PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Also hate people who expect donations for doing stupid things like jumping out of planes and doing bungee jumps. Usually, the first couple of hundred raised has to pay for the actual jump and then only after that the money goes to the charity.

I know the 'sponsor my parachute jump for charity/month volunteering in Africa' thing gets knocked, but I've often wondered though, which ends up raising more money for the charity/cause.

"Will you give me some money for my charity jump which (after costs etc) is in aid of ABC charity?"

versus

"Will you give some money to ABC charity?"

I'd guess that fewer people turn down a request to contribute to their friend's parachute jump in aid of ABC charity than would refuse to contribute directly to ABC charity.

I've never seen any statistics on it though.

The_Captain · 06-01-2016 02:09PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I suppose the theory is no different to fasting for Trocáire when we were kids. Give me money to starve for a day so that I can give it to poor people etc. Wouldn't be giving anyone money for giving up drink tbh, though it might merit more credit in this nation of out and out dipsos.

Also hate people who expect donations for doing stupid things like jumping out of planes and doing bungee jumps. Usually, the first couple of hundred raised has to pay for the actual jump and then only after that the money goes to the charity. Same with people trecking halfway around the world to save some remote lost cause and expecting their tickets and accommodation to be paid by others. Step over a homeless man on the street on your way to fly to Madagascar to save the giant stick insects. Then post pictures of your life changing escapades on social media so that everyone thinks you're exotic and great. Fúck off.

Nah, the worst are the people who whenever they see anyone doing charity work respond with "well sure there's homeless people in Ireland they could be helping" but never actually do anything themselves to help the homeless or anyone else but that matter.

Its just comes across as whiny "you're not better than me" insecurity

OldNotWIse · 06-01-2016 02:10PM

The_Captain wrote: »

Nah, the worst are the people who whenever they see anyone doing charity work respond with "well sure there's homeless people in Ireland they could be helping" but never actually do anything themselves to help the homeless or anyone else but that matter.

Its just comes across as whiny "you're not better than me" insecurity

True. I don't like the whataboutery's and the whatifery's either.

Thankfully I do plenty of volunteer work so I don't fit your description

The_Captain · 06-01-2016 02:24PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

True. I don't like the whataboutery's and the whatifery's either.

Thankfully I do plenty of volunteer work so I don't fit your description

Well aren't you exotic and great. Fúck off.

well spoken man · 06-01-2016 04:53PM

Grown men wearing fanny packs...on a building site....jesus Christ...

DEFTLEFTHAND · 06-01-2016 05:26PM

Suckler wrote: »

During a discussion or debate, anyone that needs to exclaims "FACT!" at the end of their statement. Wanker. Usually patently wrong wanker, as their "evidence" is anecdotal and opinion.

This is also a trolling technique. Very commonly used on newspaper comment sections.

LeeLooLee · 06-01-2016 05:51PM

Been having a nosy at online dating. A crazy amount of men say something about how they took the 'red pill' instead of the 'blue pill' - sign of an utter wanker if you ask me. Same with anyone who has the word 'sheeple' in their profile. Arrogant fools who think they're better than everyone else.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 06-01-2016 06:09PM

LeeLooLee wrote: »

Been having a nosy at online dating. A crazy amount of men say something about how they took the 'red pill' instead of the 'blue pill' - sign of an utter wanker if you ask me. Same with anyone who has the word 'sheeple' in their profile. Arrogant fools who think they're better than everyone else.

The ultimate irony is that they've a profile on some loser dating website. I wonder what their frustrated buddies over on 'Return of Kings' would think of that. Pure 'Alphas' indeed

LeeLooLee · 06-01-2016 06:11PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

The ultimate irony is that they've a profile on some loser dating website. I wonder what their frustrated buddies over on 'Return of Kings' would think of that. Pure 'Alphas' indeed

That's the most ridiculous thing of all. Looking down on the 'sheeple' while they have the exact same pics as everyone else on their generic dating profile (one with their mates in the pub, one with a niece/nephew, one with a drugged tiger in Thailand, one 'activity' pic of them skiing in the alps or bungee jumping)

:rolleyes:

Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Comments