Fear of Flying

Elessar · 27-12-2015 01:25PM #1

With the new year approaching I'm sure most of us are reflecting on life and setting goals for ourselves the next 12 months. Well one of mine is to (hopefully) take a flight. I've had a fear of flying for about 10 years now and my last flight was 8 years ago. However after burying my head in the sand about it for so long I'm realising I'm missing on so much of life. I really, really want to see America (New York and San Fran) and a few other places but the thoughts of getting there stop me dead in my tracks.

Anyone with a fear of flying will know how significant an impact it can have on your life. I've even gone as far as turning down job offers because the company wanted me to travel abroad for training. When friends and relatives go abroad for holidays or family events like weddings, you make every excuse under the sun to avoid them, and feel wracked with guilt afterwards.

I have this image of me, standing looking at the Golden Gate bridge on a sunny day in San Fran, thinking wow I made it! - but honestly it feels like I might as well be trying to get to the moon.

Thing is, I've flown many times in my life up to the point when I developed the fear, and used to love it so much I wanted to be a pilot. I know how planes fly, I know the training pilots do, I know what most of the sounds are. I know it's safe. It's the claustrophobia or, as someone else put it, the lack of control which gets me.

I really need to nip this in the bud. Has anyone else managed to overcome their fear of flying? Anyone similar to me?!

ASoberThought · 27-12-2015 01:28PM

Something like alprazolam (xanax) should take the edge right off that...

Fr_Dougal · 27-12-2015 01:57PM

word of advice, don't press the big red button and you'll be grand.

Corpus Twisty · 27-12-2015 01:59PM

ASoberThought wrote: »

Something like alprazolam (xanax) should take the edge right off that...

Un-apt user name.

Although a fear of flying isn't all that irrational. Planes crash, usually taking everyone on board with them. Logically, you are sitting in an aluminium tube packed with jet fuel and people, traveling at huge speeds, so to say "I have an irrational fear of flying" isn't actually irrational. Possibly a good approach would be to accept that the day your number is up, it is up, and feel the fear and do it anyway.

The_Valeyard · 27-12-2015 02:13PM

Hurry up and invent those star trek transporters.

27-12-2015 02:14PM

Corpus Twisty wrote: »

Un-apt user name.

Although a fear of flying isn't all that irrational. Planes crash, usually taking everyone on board with them. Logically, you are sitting in an aluminium tube packed with jet fuel and people, traveling at huge speeds, so to say "I have an irrational fear of flying" isn't actually irrational. Possibly a good approach would be to accept that the day your number is up, it is up, and feel the fear and do it anyway.

Surprisingly, that's wrong!

Years ago, air travel wasn’t as safe—from the early 1960s to the 1980s, 54% of passengers involved in a crash perished. In the last quarter century, the fatality rate of plane crashes has fallen to 39%

You have more than a 60% chance of surviving a plane crash.

For aviation experts, the survival rate in that crash isn’t surprising: for every 100 million passengers who travel on airplanes worldwide, just two are killed.

Two deaths for every 100 million passengers is still two too many, but it's hands-down, pants-up, arms-out safer than any other form of mass transport.

http://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/whats-the-survival-rate-plane-crashes-better-you-think

27-12-2015 02:16PM

What's the stats on large planes having survivors?

I'd imagine most jumbo planes wipe out everyone

Corpus Twisty · 27-12-2015 02:19PM

Candie wrote: »

Surprisingly, that's wrong!

You have more than a 60% chance of surviving a plane crash.

I'm gonna bet that the idea of the yoke going down would kill me with a heart-attack...so I doubt whatever the outcome of the final crash-bang-wallop would be would matter.

the evasion_kid · 27-12-2015 02:19PM

hate flying,never used to be this way about.im heading to south east asia in a few days and if there was boat down to there id take it.looks like ill have to get valiumed up to the eyeballs...

Nodin · 27-12-2015 02:20PM

Elessar wrote: »

With the new year approaching I'm sure most of us are reflecting on life and setting goals for ourselves the next 12 months. Well one of mine is to (hopefully) take a flight. I've had a fear of flying for about 10 years now and my last flight was 8 years ago. However after burying my head in the sand about it for so long I'm realising I'm missing on so much of life. I really, really want to see America (New York and San Fran) and a few other places but the thoughts of getting there stop me dead in my tracks.

Anyone with a fear of flying will know how significant an impact it can have on your life. I've even gone as far as turning down job offers because the company wanted me to travel abroad for training. When friends and relatives go abroad for holidays or family events like weddings, you make every excuse under the sun to avoid them, and feel wracked with guilt afterwards.

I have this image of me, standing looking at the Golden Gate bridge on a sunny day in San Fran, thinking wow I made it! - but honestly it feels like I might as well be trying to get to the moon.

Thing is, I've flown many times in my life up to the point when I developed the fear, and used to love it so much I wanted to be a pilot. I know how planes fly, I know the training pilots do, I know what most of the sounds are. I know it's safe. It's the claustrophobia or, as someone else put it, the lack of control which gets me.

I really need to nip this in the bud. Has anyone else managed to overcome their fear of flying? Anyone similar to me?!

What went wrong man?

the evasion_kid · 27-12-2015 02:22PM

Nodin wrote: »

What went wrong man?

he probably realised what he was actually doing......getting into a pressurised container thousands of feet in the air....

27-12-2015 02:22PM

RoboKlopp wrote: »

What's the stats on large planes having survivors?

I'd imagine most jumbo planes wipe out everyone

Survival rates are usually calculated from the stats involving civil aircraft carrying more than 9 passengers. So those rates would exclude the smallest crashes involving private pilots.

Steve F · 27-12-2015 02:30PM

One of the safest modes of transport known to man is flying in a commercial airliner

All the things we do on a daily basis such as driving a car,riding in a bus/train,walking across a busy street,walking home from the pub on dimly lit country roads and 100's of other things we do every day of the year but rarely do we get hurt/killed

Stats are that you are 1000's of times more likely to be killed travelling to the airport than you are during the flight

I know this probably won't reassure you but those are the bald facts

The_Valeyard · 27-12-2015 02:31PM

the evasion_kid wrote: »

he probably realised what he was actually doing......getting into a pressurised container thousands of feet in the air....

He used all the roll of sticky tape.

Ol' Donie · 27-12-2015 02:32PM

Now dig this. Your plane ain't gonna crash. I fly every week for work. Have done for a few years.
They never crash.

Sit back & enjoy they peace and quiet, baby.

Titzon Toast · 27-12-2015 02:35PM

Don't be worrying about flying OP, it's crashing you have worry about.

Graces7 · 27-12-2015 03:29PM

Phobias are totally irrational and not amenable to reasoning. Horrific. A friend of mine had this fear and had some success via counselling and therapy. I amazed myself when I came to Ireland by loving the flights.. Three in all from the tiny island I was leaving and the first in a storm. I knew then i would never fly again so revelled in it.. maybe ask your dr re desensitising therapy?

KatW4 · 27-12-2015 04:02PM

I absolutely dread flying, I cry, I panic and I get sick on planes. I lived in London for 3 years and made 50 flights in that time. I still dread it though, nothing has made it better. I get through the flight by curling up and reading a book, sounds silly but it makes me focus on something else.

If I had to make a long flight, I think I'd get something from the doctor to knock me out!

SVI40 · 27-12-2015 04:09PM

I was similar to the OP, loved flying, wanted to be a pilot and then started to develop a fear of flying.

I got Alan Carr's book on overcoming your fear of flying, and since then haven't looked back.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Easy-Enjoy-Flying-Allen-Carrs/dp/0718194381

jester77 · 27-12-2015 04:27PM

OP, the actual flying is the most enjoyable part of the journey. What you have to go through on both sides to enter and exit non-eu countries is what would really put one off flying. I try and avoid going to the US as much as possible because of their entry system, it is a very unpleasant and frustrating experience.

bnt · 27-12-2015 05:12PM

I flew a few long trips as a kid (aged 7 & 10), then didn't fly again until I was about 21. I remember being slightly nervous, but I forgot about all that when I saw the view from my window seat. That's a major payoff for me, if I can get it.

Fleawuss · 27-12-2015 05:16PM

Walk every where.

Mena · 27-12-2015 05:27PM

jester77 wrote: »

OP, the actual flying is the most enjoyable part of the journey. What you have to go through on both sides to enter and exit non-eu countries is what would really put one off flying. I try and avoid going to the US as much as possible because of their entry system, it is a very unpleasant and frustrating experience.

Really? I travel to the US at least every second month, sometimes more, and it's never an issue bar the odd occasion an A380 lands ahead of you and there are immigration queues. Perhaps traveling for business is easier from an immigration PoV than leisure though.

I fly more than most for business and while it's by far the safest form of travel, you're still out of (your) control at high speeds. That's what gets me. My control freak nature at its worst and I find that as I get older I'm less and less comfortable sitting 'not in the pilots seat' - though were that to happen the end result would be entirely predictable 😄. To the op, go to a doc and get a pill, it will take the edge off, that's all I got.

ScumLord · 27-12-2015 05:28PM

Elessar wrote: »

the lack of control which gets me.

Really? Sounds more like an excuse. How much control do you actually have in your life? Your car doesn't even trust you to take full control of it, pretty much everything you do on a daily basis is out of your hands.

I think I'd be more nervous if I was expected to be in control of the plane. I'll just leave that to the guy who's been training and flying planes for the last decade.

You don't really need to get over your fear of flying, flying is scary, it's not supposed to be something humans should do. All you need to do is find a way of dealing with it for the duration of the flight. You only have to put up with being a afraid for 6 hours at most. Six hours is nothing.

con___manx1 · 27-12-2015 05:52PM

I have a fear of flying op. I also have a fear of heights but I usually don't let my fears get the better of me. I force myself to get through them. In the last few years things have happend to me that has made me realise how short life actually is. You can't let fear hold you back. You have to fight against it no matter how terrafying it is. I have been to San Fran and new York and quite a few other places around the world. I would pick San Fran out of the two. However it is a longer flight ; ) maybe 3 or 4 hours.

AppleBottle · 27-12-2015 05:59PM

Flying is a massive fear to overcome so fair play for you being so determined to do it

My grandfather had a fear of flying and in his 85 years never flew once while my granny jet-setted across the world

I don't know too much about it, but a girl I work with has a major fear of flying. It hasn't stopped her flying though, she will just take a few Valium and a bottle of wine before a flight

However, she had mentioned about taking classes provided by (I think!) the DAA. She said she was put on the course but turned out it was fully booked and couldn't do it. It was expensive enough. Not sure how it works or what techniques are used but worth a look into? Sorry... I don't know anymore information about it.

Nodin · 27-12-2015 06:11PM

Mena wrote: »

Really? I travel to the US at least every second month, sometimes more, and it's never an issue bar the odd occasion an A380 lands ahead of you and there are immigration queues. Perhaps traveling for business is easier from an immigration PoV than leisure though.

I fly more than most for business and while it's by far the safest form of travel, you're still out of (your) control at high speeds. That's what gets me. My control freak nature at its worst and I find that as I get older I'm less and less comfortable sitting 'not in the pilots seat' - though were that to happen the end result would be entirely predictable &#55357;&#56836;. To the op, go to a doc and get a pill, it will take the edge off, that's all I got.

The above are words of wisdom. On the other hand, Fear + booze + plane = bad idea.

pastorbarrett · 27-12-2015 06:22PM

Having dealt with this myself, via various methods, one thing I can be assured of is that there is no magic pill for this. Like most other difficulties encountered in life, overcoming, or rather, learning to manage it necessitates some effort and work on our part.

OP, I'll point you in the way of SOAR as a comprehensive method of tackling this issue. http://www.fearofflying.com/

There are several programmes available, however the actual book will suffice, available to download for a relative pittance on amazon. It differs in the sense that it offers a comprehensive approach to tackling it, having a significant cognitive component using tried and tested means to manage stress etc.

For those advocating medication, there is significant research presented there too noting that it ultimately doesn't solve the problem, and in some instances actually compounds anxiety.

OP and others affected, given the sheer opportunity and joy that travel afford us, you owe it to yourself to invest the few quid - and more importantly the time and effort - to learn how to deal with this. Do it. Happy flying

27-12-2015 08:41PM

I don't have a fear of flying, actually I love flying! So I'm not much help. I've flown hundreds of times since I was a baby and the worst that happened was a bit of turbulence. Actually I think the "worst" flight I was on in recent years was during storm Barney. The landing was a bit rocky but was grand.

I don't really understand the fear of dying in a plane crash. If the plane crashes you're probably going to die immediately and that's that.

But that's never going to happen!

Agricola · 27-12-2015 09:48PM

Never gave this phobia much thought til I read this. I have a terrible fear of heights. Well, I'm ok looking out from the top of tall buildings but I can't hack going to the end of a ladder or anywhere one misstep could be the end of me. Couldn't imagine experiencing this paralyzing fear when it comes to plane journeys and missing out on the all those places and sights.
Hope you manage to take that flight in 2016 OP!

Aurum · 27-12-2015 10:13PM

I would suggest that you try a short flight next year to start with, perhaps a break in London, so you will only have to cope with the anxiety for a short while, and you can learn what calming techniques work for you and which don't. The fact that you can tell yourself that you'll be back on the ground within the hour can itself be quite calming. I find that the best tools are very good sound isolation headphones, (which I keep in even when not listening to music/podcasts because I find the sound of the engines a bit anxiety inducing) and then a big bundle of distractions; favorite books, episodes of tv series or podcasts that you've been saving, movies that you love or really want to see, video games, puzzles, lots of music, always have things on hand that will distract you from the fact that you're in a small tube in the sky. For me this distraction is usually the key to keeping my anxiety under control.

Fear of Flying

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