Childline received 1,176 contacts on Christmas Day

myshirt · 27-12-2015 02:35PM

Hammerarcher and Haveringchick, how many successful outcomes have been had? How many?

I've worked with these kids on the other end of the scale, when they are incarcerated in jail, dead, on drugs, or on their own come 18, having been thrown pillar to post. Yes, there is a serious cultural issue in the public service, and yes, there are mega performance issues.

haveringchick · 27-12-2015 02:36PM

eviltwin wrote: »

I worked in Childline for a while. Oh if only it was a case that kids were calling upset because they didn't get the latest X box game or pair of trainers. Some kids have to live with the kind of misery most of us can't even begin to imagine. I've worked in trauma care for a while now and can deal with most aspects of people's depravity but Childline was the one job I couldn't deal with.

It's one of the peculiar Irish "things" that Irish people almost refuse to accept that Irish parents could abuse their children
I have heard people defending abhorrent behaviour on the grounds that "sure we had it far worse ourselves" or "sure the cratur was doing her best sure the kids would drive ya mad"

Graces7 · 27-12-2015 02:38PM

whatismyname wrote: »

Yes. Thankfully the Samaritans take the same approach.

It can be very, very difficult to say some stuff out loud, particularly if you've never done so, and they're very sensitive, personal issues, so many callers to both helplines would perhaps call intending to talk about something, find it too difficult, and maybe talk about other more 'frivolous' things instead.

It would be wrong for the helpline volunteer to put a judgement on that call as 'frivolous' as who knows what may have really lay behind the call. And it may make many times to build up to talking about what they needed to talk about, so that phone call still matters in that case.

Regardless, even if there was nothing really serious going on with the child and they were just lonely and needed to connect with somebody, and the call may have made a difference to the child either way.

On the subject of not being able to talk about stuff, and taking Childline as one example, I remember as a child ringing Childline many times during the period when I was being sexually abused. I desperately wanted (and needed) so much to talk to someone about it. I don't know if I did many times (I can only remember one time for definite) but I remember so many times feeling annoyed with myself afterwards for not being able to find the words to tell the person on the phone what was happening to me.

I don't remember what I did talk about those times instead. I don't know if it was something 'frivolous'. If it was, the phone call still mattered to me, as it made me feel less alone in the world. But there was still many other things that I was experiencing such as bullying at school, neglect and psychological abuse at home, poverty, alcoholic parent etc, so chances are I talked about some of them, and couldn't talk about the bigger issue of the sexual abuse.

But either way those phone calls still made a big difference to me, and we can never really underestimate the difference that the service could be making to a child. Let's focus on empathy rather than judgement.

And even if some kids are just ringing with prank calls etc, out of boredom or whatever, they would likely be a very small minority, if they really have nothing more behind it, and no issues in their life, but even still... that will not take away from what a big difference Childline make to so many.

Thank you for this. I literally owe my life and sanity to the Samaritans in the years when I was at my lowest and being abused and neglected by the so called " caring" medical and other professions. They gave me even a "befriender" who came out to me when I was too ill to go out. Over many years. Now thankfully I am able to be here in my small way for others who are deemed beyond the pale. To listen and support. We none of us have any right to judge and accuse. Oh there was one time I was having terrible problems with my landlady.. rang the samaritans in despair to find I was talking to her...But hey cannot always win!

haveringchick · 27-12-2015 02:49PM

myshirt wrote: »

Hammerarcher and Haveringchick, how many successful outcomes have been had? How many?

I've worked with these kids on the other end of the scale, when they are incarcerated in jail, dead, on drugs, or on their own come 18, having been thrown pillar to post. Yes, there is a serious cultural issue in the public service, and yes, there are mega performance issues.

There are not enough child protection officers
That's not the child protection officers fault
Irish society has a serious issue with child protection
We have no problem, and rightly so, with accepting and condemning what religious orders did to children for decades
But we will not accept that some modern kids are really no better off at the hands of their parents
Abusive parents in particular mothers are treated with kid gloves and given too many chances in this country
Out of control addiction issues resulting in criminal neglect and still allowed access when everyone and his dog knows that those babies should be put up for adoption
Too few social workers with too huge caseloads combined with ridiculous laws protecting biological parents mean that kids suffer
Too many kids slipping through the net then bring unleashed on society at 16 when they can leave school to destroy and destruct and breed like rats
This country will rue the day they didn't get tough with deadbeat parents

myshirt · 27-12-2015 02:52PM

The country will rue the day it let all these families down in favour of others is more like it. The socio-economic disadvantage that these communities were plunged into through neglect is abhorrent, and even more abhorrent when you look at the public service bill.

An independent observer would assume for that level of pay, that some results were achieved.
Assume away as the saying goes.

Graces7 · 27-12-2015 02:56PM

haveringchick wrote: »

There are not enough child protection officers
That's not the child protection officers fault
Irish society has a serious issue with child protection
We have no problem, and rightly so, with accepting and condemning what religious orders did to children for decades
But we will not accept that some modern kids are really no better off at the hands of their parents
Abusive parents in particular mothers are treated with kid gloves and given too many chances in this country
Out of control addiction issues resulting in criminal neglect and still allowed access when everyone and his dog knows that those babies should be put up for adoption
Too few social workers with too huge caseloads combined with ridiculous laws protecting biological parents mean that kids suffer
Too many kids slipping through the net then bring unleashed on society at 16 when they can leave school to destroy and destruct and breed like rats
This country will rue the day they didn't get tough with deadbeat parents

What has happened to the extended irish family? Someone I know grew up here when any child of any relative was taken in and cared for. She came back here after 40 years away and could not believe the difference. Maybe the welfare state?

haveringchick · 27-12-2015 04:40PM

Graces7 wrote: »

What has happened to the extended irish family? Someone I know grew up here when any child of any relative was taken in and cared for. She came back here after 40 years away and could not believe the difference. Maybe the welfare state?

We went from abusing lone parents and "non-standard" families(flinging them into homes, snatching and selling their small children etc) to totally mollycoddling indulging and enabling them
Of course the dads , as ever, are totally free to walk off into the sunset and impregnate as many more feckless immature girls as they choose
No sanctions no responsibility
At least now the left alone parent is being "encouraged" to get some qualifications and or training as soon as their youngest child is 7 in order that they might be st some stage in a position to not only financially support themselves, but give a positive influence of industry and self sufficiency to their growing kids

Shep_Dog · 27-12-2015 05:49PM

Graces7 wrote: »

What has happened to the extended irish family? Someone I know grew up here when any child of any relative was taken in and cared for. She came back here after 40 years away and could not believe the difference. Maybe the welfare state?

It's been out-sourced to contractors.

eviltwin · 27-12-2015 06:20PM

Graces7 wrote: »

What has happened to the extended irish family? Someone I know grew up here when any child of any relative was taken in and cared for. She came back here after 40 years away and could not believe the difference. Maybe the welfare state?

Not everyone has one or has one close by. It used to be there were plenty of siblings, parents on hand to help out but for a lot of people it's not an option. I was only talking about what would happen to my son if myself and my husband died, we have literally no one in this country my son could go to. Times have changed.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 27-12-2015 07:48PM

Graces7 wrote: »

What has happened to the extended irish family? Someone I know grew up here when any child of any relative was taken in and cared for. She came back here after 40 years away and could not believe the difference. Maybe the welfare state?

As in most modern countries things have changed. Families are more spread now with jobs often taking siblings far from home. Families are also much smaller than they were.
There's not even a remote link to welfare payments or this much hyped "welfare state".

Childline received 1,176 contacts on Christmas Day

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