insulting xmas presents

Joey Jo-Jo Junior · 22-12-2015 06:53PM

SlowBlowin wrote: »

I did the exact same, bloody good hoover.

On my birthday that following year she gave me a wrapped up present, I ripped into it, and it was a large cactus in a pot. Some blood, lots of swearing, as I pulled the thorns out.

She still says the 2 are unrelated......

That's awfully cruel but I do have to acknowledge the careful planning and effort that went into wrapping a cactus!

RayCon · 22-12-2015 06:54PM

chanelfreak wrote: »

A fcuking Gok Wan book.

.... speaking of which , do you know what his mother's name is ? ....

.... Oul

RayCon · 22-12-2015 06:56PM

redbel05 wrote: »

More shocking than insulting- Heard if a trainee vet nurse given a gangrenous amputated puppies leg for Christmas by the head vet at the practise.

Main present - no
Stocking Filler - yes

tayto lover · 22-12-2015 06:59PM

whiskeyman wrote: »

Charitable donations on your behalf.

Yeah, like " i sent a goat to Leitrim on your behalf ". Crazy stuff.

Corpus Twisty · 22-12-2015 07:19PM

I asked herself what she wanted for x-mass, last year. She goes "a steam cleaner". Rightey o..out I went and bought one and come the big day -Ta-Dah!... and she goes - I kid ye not........."I was joking....I wanted jewelry..." and went into a massive huff....

Why say you wanted a steam cleaner so??? "I was joking" she goes.."you ought to have known"....

No. Just No. I failed mind reading at school, and barely passed "Psychic intuition and its use in daily life.." I quite liked the steam cleaner tbh..would've liked it as a gift for myself...

kylith · 22-12-2015 07:22PM

I'm fairly relaxed about presents, I once requested a dressing town and slippers.

However even I was put out when my ex's dad gave me a bottle of cheap shower gel. As if a €2 bottle of nasty wasn't bad enough it still had the Secret Santa gift tag on it from when his partner had received it. What really stuck in my craw is that I spent hours searching for just the right gift for them.

GFT · 22-12-2015 07:28PM

Nothing

RhubarbCrumble · 22-12-2015 07:44PM

So many people saying 'gym membership' Personally I wouldn't complain if someone paid my gym membership for Christmas!

A Dub in Glasgo · 22-12-2015 07:45PM

Corpus Twisty wrote: »

I asked herself what she wanted for x-mass, last year. She goes "a steam cleaner". Rightey o..out I went and bought one and come the big day -Ta-Dah!... and she goes - I kid ye not........."I was joking....I wanted jewelry..." and went into a massive huff....

Why say you wanted a steam cleaner so??? "I was joking" she goes.."you ought to have known"....

.

It happens, I quickly learned not to believe my wife when she answers the question about what she would like as a present. I asked her one year what she would like for her birthday, she said 'nothing' and naturally I got her nothing, I was blanked for a few days after!

Coopaloop · 22-12-2015 07:51PM

A Gina Ford parenting book, I hadn't even given birth, that promptly went in the bin. From the same couple to my OH two books that you could collect out of the Irish independent about Michael Collins. As*holes.

Diamond Doll · 22-12-2015 07:55PM

I once got my best friend a can of dog deodorant.

armaghlad · 22-12-2015 07:55PM

Tickets to see Russel Howard at the Waterfront in Belfast.

For anyone unfamiliar with this gimp, he is an immature, unfunny, English twerp masquerading as a comedian, with all the maturity and sense of humour of an annoying thirteen year old boy.

Obviously my brother is a big fan of his, so using his demented logic I must also be one. Needless to say I did not attend the gig and still cringe thinking back. Wtf like.

the_syco · 22-12-2015 07:58PM

whiskeyman wrote: »

Charitable donations on your behalf.

Charitable donations on your behalf to organisations who you oppose, or would like wiped of the face off the earth.

Shrap · 22-12-2015 08:12PM

Eleysian wrote: »

Don't know if this qualifies but as a forty something my OH gave me Kylie Minogue body glitter.

Aw, hey....I'd take that as a compliment. Don't think it qualifies. He probably thinks you'd look deadly in top to toe gold

RayM wrote: »

I haven't got my brother a present yet. He likes tea, so I think he'd appreciate this nice mug...

That mug....I want that mug. I think my OH would have second thoughts about buying me it, but he wouldn't need to - I'd love it!

Insulting presents though...yup - the most insulting was a single red rose from my newly ex-husband that was the only Christmas present he ever got me.

etoughguy · 22-12-2015 08:13PM

Corpus Twisty wrote: »

I asked herself what she wanted for x-mass, last year. She goes "a steam cleaner". Rightey o..out I went and bought one and come the big day -Ta-Dah!... and she goes - I kid ye not........."I was joking....I wanted jewelry..." and went into a massive huff....

Why say you wanted a steam cleaner so??? "I was joking" she goes.."you ought to have known"....

No. Just No. I failed mind reading at school, and barely passed "Psychic intuition and its use in daily life.." I quite liked the steam cleaner tbh..would've liked it as a gift for myself...

Dude you have no idea about women do ya?!! When they say one thing they mean the total opposite

Words of wisdom from one who has made many similar mistakes!

Shrap · 22-12-2015 08:17PM

etoughguy wrote: »

Dude you have no idea about women do ya?!! When they say one thing they mean the total opposite

Words of wisdom from one who has made many similar mistakes!

Not all women. I only want a heat gun and a particular book, which if I don't get I will buy for myself soon after xmas - I just dropped hints in case he was stuck.

cml387 · 22-12-2015 08:18PM

My brother (he's alright really) bought my mother a present of that effin' goat for the third world one year.

She was spending Christmas with us that year. Mrs CML still remembers the slightly sad, crushed voice "That's not really my Christmas present , is it?"

P_1 · 22-12-2015 08:26PM

Got an Aresnal jersey one year....

I support Tottenham...

prodsc · 22-12-2015 08:54PM

P_1 wrote: »

Got an Aresnal jersey one year....

I support Tottenham...

The worst ever..COYS

fussyonion · 22-12-2015 09:06PM

A hamper of toothpastes and mouthwashes.

22-12-2015 10:01PM

A keyring with a picture of a baby on it saying "It takes a lot to look this fabulous" or some shoite like that. It's sitting in a drawer somewhere.

I play a few musical instruments and have done for years. When people ask if they can get me a musical gift I always ask for plectrums. I can never have enough of them. So one year someone got me a book about learning the clarinet :pac:

My b/f was once given a large ceramic Elmer Fudd statue. It accidentally broke somehow...

Jim Bob Scratcher · 22-12-2015 10:03PM

A tin of roses with all the nice ones gone.

questionmark? · 22-12-2015 10:08PM

etoughguy wrote: »

Dude you have no idea about women do ya?!! When they say one thing they mean the total opposite!

And even when you do the opposite you'd still be wrong!

cassid · 22-12-2015 11:02PM

My mother in law god rest her soul, used to buy all the daughters in law necklaces and bracelets that were orange gold, they were awful, but we all put them on for the day and pretend were delighted with our sparkles. The sons all got 70's looking jumpers and this was 5 years ago and they were made wear them. To this day I don't know where she even found this stuff, she was very fond of North Earl Street in Dublin

tayto lover · 22-12-2015 11:13PM

P_1 wrote: »

Got an Aresnal jersey one year....

I support Tottenham...

You probably told someone you wanted a football jersey.:pac:

eviltwin · 22-12-2015 11:16PM

A dress, quite a nice one too only it was a size 24. I'm not that bloody big.

jaysisjames · 22-12-2015 11:19PM

About 10 years ago i got a present of Tango lessons, from one of my siblings. they were due to start about a month after christmas

so in time, i traipsed along one night ,to give it a bash(half hoping to meet some sultry latin american young wan!)
turns out they didn't have my name down for the lessons, so i paid the €10 myself, and enjoyed a good night.

when i quizzed my sibling about this, they said "oh, i wasn't really expect you to go, so i didn't actually pay for any lessons for you"
true story

OhHiMark · 22-12-2015 11:21PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

The GF got a present from her mother, which was the very present she gave her for Xmas the year before hand.

Ha ha haa haa...I wonder what happened to the battery pack .... Ha ha.....haaaa......News!

Putt it there · 22-12-2015 11:57PM

Pack of rashers . No joke.

Gaygooner · 22-12-2015 11:58PM

P_1 wrote: »

Got an Aresnal jersey one year....

I support Tottenham...

Sniff it, that's what success smells like

insulting xmas presents

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