Funny/cheesy chat up lines that you've heard of

Medusa22 · 18-12-2015 12:31PM #1

Does anyone even use chat up lines though? I don't think anyone has ever seriously used one on me, only as a joke.

I like to give my OH an old chat up line every once in a while, especially because she's foreign and she hasn't heard of the common ones so I get a laugh or usually just a :rolleyes: out of her

She whacked her hand today and I said ''oh no, did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?''

Another one I like to use on the poor woman is ''Are you tired?'' and she says ''from what?'' and I say ''from running through my mind all day''

Somehow she still puts up with me.

Duggy747 · 18-12-2015 01:05PM

I loved using intentionally awful and cheesy chat-up lines, they were pretty good for getting a conversation going and having the craíc with women on nights out.

Sometimes you would get absolutely soul-piercing stares and be cursed out of it but most times you'd get a laugh and they'd fire a good one back at you. It was a great way of gauging someone's humour and personality.

One girl said this back to me:
"Do you like cheese?...............cuz I'm an Easi-single!!" :pac:

CyclopsDeluxe · 18-12-2015 01:05PM

I am trying to remember any chat up lines I might have come across but I think I must have been consistently too drunk to remember any.

Mr.Plough · 18-12-2015 01:08PM

Damn, you shít with that ass?

RayM · 18-12-2015 01:09PM

Is that an excess of serotonin in your central nervous system, or are you just happy to see me?

partyguinness · 18-12-2015 01:09PM

A friend of mine when we were a lot younger would walk around a nightclub with a toothbrush in this breast pocket and any women that would ask he would say: "So I don't have to use yours in the morning."

Yeah juvenile...

blue note · 18-12-2015 01:10PM

Can I cum on your face?

I knew a lad who used to use that around the 18 years old mark. Don't think it worked back then, but he's earning about a quarter of a million a year now and it works much better.

Andre 3000 · 18-12-2015 01:32PM

"My dick just died can I bury it in your ass?"

asherbassad · 18-12-2015 01:34PM

Fuck or fight?

Medusa22 · 18-12-2015 01:36PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

I loved using intentionally awful and cheesy chat-up lines, they were pretty good for getting a conversation going and having the craíc with women on nights out.

Sometimes you would get absolutely soul-piercing stares and be cursed out of it but most times you'd get a laugh and they'd fire a good one back at you. It was a great way of gauging someone's humour and personality.

One girl said this back to me:
"Do you like cheese?...............cuz I'm an Easi-single!!" :pac:

Ah brilliant, I'm stealing that one!! :pac:

Penn · 18-12-2015 01:36PM

"Do you sleep on your belly, and if not, can I?"

Boom_Bap · 18-12-2015 01:38PM

"I have many leatherbound books and my apartment smells of a rich mahogony"

and

"I want to be on you"

The Backwards Man · 18-12-2015 01:40PM

Overhead at a sheep breeder's dance;

If you were on DoneDeal I'd pay full price for ye

Ken. · 18-12-2015 01:40PM

I've mentioned this before a while ago. Guy I worked with would go up to a girl in a niteclub and say "You've got spanner eyes" and walk away.
About 80% of the time the girl would come over and ask what he meant. His reply, "Every time I see your eyes my nuts tighten". He pulled too and is now married to a woman whom he used it on.

MaryAntoinette · 18-12-2015 01:41PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Overhead at a sheep breeder's dance;

If you were on DoneDeal I'd pay full price for ye

Bet its your own personal chat up line.

The Backwards Man · 18-12-2015 01:42PM

MaryAntoinette wrote: »

Bet its your own personal chat up line.

I don't need 'em.

And I never pay the asking price either.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 18-12-2015 01:44PM

/offers sleeve

"Guess what material that is?"

"Dunno"

"Boyfriend material"

wilhelm roentgen · 18-12-2015 01:46PM

From Sid the Sexist.

'If ya are selling them puppies al have the one wi the pink nose'

maudgonner · 18-12-2015 01:55PM

ken wrote: »

I've mentioned this before a while ago. Guy I worked with would go up to a girl in a niteclub and say "You've got spanner eyes" and walk away.
About 80% of the time the girl would come over and ask what he meant. His reply, "Every time I see your eyes my nuts tighten". He pulled too and is now married to a woman whom he used it on.

This line would almost be worth the operation I would require to use it!

Medusa22 · 18-12-2015 02:01PM

ken wrote: »

I've mentioned this before a while ago. Guy I worked with would go up to a girl in a niteclub and say "You've got spanner eyes" and walk away.
About 80% of the time the girl would come over and ask what he meant. His reply, "Every time I see your eyes my nuts tighten". He pulled too and is now married to a woman whom he used it on.

When I was about 8 or 9 I got a dirty Valentine's Card from a couple of 10 and 11 year old boys from a nearby estate. They wrote lots of messages like that in it but one of them was ''your eyes are like spanners, every time I see them I....'' but I never knew what the rest of that line was, until now

My mum was fuming when she saw the card :pac: I think I still have it somewhere, ah the sweet memories

Funny/cheesy chat up lines that you've heard of

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