Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

gent9662 · 17-12-2015 09:46AM

Worked for an American subsidiary company in Dublin recently (thank god I'm gone out of there now).

The Irish staff that have been there for a while are speaking with fake American accents and use the yank lingo. Such things as:

I'll "reach out" to that person...

"From our client's perspective" (even though the client was internal colleague)

the one I hate the most is...
"I have a hard finish at 2pm" ahhhhhhh!

Perspective being used maybe 5 times in one conversation.

****...sorry!

sebcity · 17-12-2015 09:47AM

dclane wrote: »

the one I hate the most is...
"I have a hard finish at 2pm" ahhhhhhh!

What's a hard finish?!

x43r0 · 17-12-2015 09:59AM

sebcity wrote: »

What's a hard finish?!

You haven't seen much pornography have you?

BattleCorp · 17-12-2015 10:04AM

Puibo wrote: »

Men who shop with their wives. Evertbody has heard a wife or two in the next changing room practically dressing the guy. "Turn around now and let me see it from the back".

Im not sure who the wanker is. Probably the guy because he has come to rely on the wife to choose clothes for him.

Actually i think they are both ****!!!

I'd look like a wanker if I chose my own clothes. The ability to pick out stylish clothes that match is sadly lost on me.

Ash.J.Williams · 17-12-2015 11:17AM

Puibo wrote: »

Men who shop with their wives. Evertbody has heard a wife or two in the next changing room practically dressing the guy. "Turn around now and let me see it from the back".

Im not sure who the wanker is. Probably the guy because he has come to rely on the wife to choose clothes for him.

Actually i think they are both ****!!!

when you reach that stage you're like a spider that's just mated and is awaiting death

Kev W · 17-12-2015 11:19AM

People who are first to respond to a new thread and quote the entire OP.

We know what you're responding to, we're not going to be confused if you don't quote it.

Into The Blue · 17-12-2015 11:24AM

Strumms wrote: »

anyone who considers themselves or identifies others as a 'GAA man' or a good 'GAA person'. My local would be frequented by a decent number of people involved with a certain GAA club on the northside of Dublin. They don't have their own clubhouse so they would mainly drink in my local.

Basically GAA w*nkers...

Fingal Ravens/Kettle's???

valoren · 17-12-2015 11:33AM

Someone who creates a username on Boards with a major Star Wars spoiler.
Then goes and thanks posts before the majority have seen it.

Now that's classic Wanker.

Kev W · 17-12-2015 11:34AM

valoren wrote: »

Someone who creates a username on Boards with a major Star Wars spoiler.
Then goes and thanks posts before the majority have seen it.

Now that's classic Wanker.

Seriously?

EDIT: The irony is that I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out.

Ash.J.Williams · 17-12-2015 11:35AM

Strumms wrote: »

anyone who considers themselves or identifies others as a 'GAA man' or a good 'GAA person'. My local would be frequented by a decent number of people involved with a certain GAA club on the northside of Dublin. They don't have their own clubhouse so they would mainly drink in my local. As you would guess they stick with each others company which is fine and dandy in their O'Neills finery but the general ignorance of them and w*nker factor is is consistent amongst 99% of them. If you are not one of their ilk as in a 'GAA man' or woman for that matter..

1) A hello or any greeting or acknowledgment will be met with an indifferent stare despite the fact that they would at least see you drinking in the same pub as them for 15 years or whatever.

2) They seem to have carte blanche to behave like eejits always shouting to each other instead of talking and everything is funny and laughing is exaggerated to the point of drowning out anyone else's conversation.

3) They are immune to even the most foul bowel shocker flatulence emitted by their cohorts that forces other punters to go into the lounge to drink or the toilet to retch its that bad but they don't bat an eyelid.

4) Anyone's girlfriend is game to be ogled and even the most senior bloke and a perv to the max thinks its ok to chat up 19 year olds and put his arm around them. Casual racism towards floor and bar staff is accepted.

5) There would be more All ireland winners medals in the pub not only historically but currently and you still have these w*nkers who when the pub in jam packed and you tap them on the arm and ask to get past will just look at you and stand there and continue the conversation and roaring at the fella 5 inches away from them without moving.

6) When ordering a drink and plenty of space at the bar have to invade your own space where you are sitting like again you are f*ckin invisible without your O'Neills gear and gobsh*te big mouth and small brain to go with it to the point their isn't enough room to pick up your pint and put it to your mouth..

Basically GAA w*nkers...

there's actaully a skoda ad on the radio now and the owner of the garage is a "great gaa man and sure they even buy cars off me".....cnt

Kev W · 17-12-2015 12:19PM

valoren wrote: »

Someone who creates a username on Boards with a major Star Wars spoiler.
Then goes and thanks posts before the majority have seen it.

Now that's classic Wanker.

They've been deleted and the user's been banned.

Ash.J.Williams · 17-12-2015 12:28PM

Kev W wrote: »

They've been deleted and the user's been banned.

i didn;t see that....but that is "wanker" defined

Kev W · 17-12-2015 12:37PM

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

i didn;t see that....but that is "wanker" defined

Imagine being so sad that ruining other people's enjoyment is actually fun for you. What a loser.

timmy880 · 17-12-2015 12:48PM

The casual cyclists (especially in Rathmines) on rubbish bikes with no helmets, no visibility gear, no lights and taking up half the road. Wtf is that about? Proper t0sspots!

robarmstrong · 17-12-2015 01:24PM

Quite a few recently that came up on my Facebook due to that "memories" crap feature.

When someone posts a running commentary of a TV show the entire poxy country is watching.

When someone stupidly posts up spoilers of popular movies/TV shows all over Facebook. Morons of the highest order.

Also - cyclists who are out and about at night with no lights or any form of visibility gear, are absolute tossers. So ignorantly dangerous not only to yourself but to drivers.

Birneybau · 17-12-2015 01:43PM

Kev W wrote: »

They've been deleted and the user's been banned.

Thank God!

gent9662 · 17-12-2015 04:58PM

Irish people with Americanisms:

1. Talking with american accents

2. Saying "like" alot

3. Saying "My bad"

5. Saying "Have a nice day" yes it's well established in ireland now

Yeah_Right · 17-12-2015 05:00PM

dclane wrote: »

Irish people with Americanisms:

1. Talking with american accents

2. Saying "like" alot

3. Saying "My bad"

5. Saying "Have a nice day" yes it's well established in ireland now

People who make lists and skip a number

davo2001 · 17-12-2015 05:24PM

Gaygooner wrote: »

Insecure android owners

Prize wanker right here

Wes Palmer Lee · 21-12-2015 12:43AM

I forgot about this one ...

A friend of mine is a hairdresser. A middle aged man came in for a trim. While she was cutting his hair she saw him fiddling with himself under the sheet...rigorously fidgeting around the area between his legs.
She decided to pull the sheet back and embarrass him but it turned out he was polishing his glasses not his knob.

Poor fellow never came back..!

windy shepard henderson · 21-12-2015 01:04AM

Yeah_Right wrote: »

People who make lists and skip a number

dclane wrote: »

Irish people with Americanisms:

1. Talking with american accents

2. Saying "like" alot

3. Saying "My bad"

5. Saying "Have a nice day" yes it's well established in ireland now

skip as many numbers as you like , anyone irish who talks like an american or worse still English ( "bants", "banter" , "lets be having you" ) is the ultimate wanker and should nearly have a new thread of there own

PowerToWait · 21-12-2015 01:18AM

A stupid amount of it in the 'do you recognise the poster above aka one massive circle jerk' thread.

windy shepard henderson · 21-12-2015 01:24AM

PowerToWait wrote: »

A stupid amount of it in the 'do you recognise the poster above aka one massive circle jerk' thread.

jerk? now that's not american either. . . . .

Insect Overlord · 21-12-2015 01:27AM

When someone screws up, and they're proved to be wrong, but then they complain that they would have been right if "the system" wasn't so flawed. Vainly clutching at straws in a desperate bid to save face/get the last dig in/that kind of thing.

windy shepard henderson · 21-12-2015 01:33AM

An File wrote: »

When someone screws up, and they're proved to be wrong, but then they complain that they would have been right if "the system" wasn't so flawed. Vainly clutching at straws in a desperate bid to save face/get the last dig in/that kind of thing.

or maybe over exaggerate's things a little too much

OldNotWIse · 21-12-2015 12:43PM

Anyone on horseback in pursuit of an innocent terrified animal

BattleCorp · 21-12-2015 01:30PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Anyone on horseback in pursuit of an innocent terrified animal

We use motorbikes for the chase down where I live. Great fun. Much better than horses.

well spoken man · 21-12-2015 01:43PM

Anyone who drives a Nissan March....

Kev W · 21-12-2015 03:16PM

Anyone who misuses ellipses...

kawasaki1100 · 21-12-2015 03:28PM

BattleCorp wrote: »

We use motorbikes for the chase down where I live. Great fun. Much better than horses.

Awe right, you also qualify for the Wanker list so!

Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

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