Do you think it's weird if someone doesn't know how to drive?

Diamond Doll · 09-12-2015 12:05PM

My then-boyfriend made me learn to drive and sit the test when I was around 19/20. I'm very glad he did! That was over ten years ago, I have a car right now but haven't always had one and could probably manage quite well without one. But it's still so handy to have the option there. In particular, I'd hate to be limited in my choice of jobs because of not being able to drive ... not everywhere is accessible by public transport. I'm insured on my dad's car, so even at times when I didn't have my own, it's been handy to be able to borrow it for a few days at a time for moving house, that sort of thing.

I don't think it's weird for someone not to know how to drive, but it's a really handy life skill to have, even if you never end up owning a car.

Lollipops23 · 09-12-2015 12:08PM

I think it's a skill every adult should have.

I learned at 19, passed my test at 21. I don't drive every day, but would be lost without me motor.

My OH is 26 and is in the process of learning. I'll be delighted when I'm not relied on for transport!

witchgirl26 · 09-12-2015 12:09PM

I didn't learn to drive until I was in my mid-20's as I didn't need to. I was able to get most places at that time on public transport. However I do wish I'd learned earlier as it was a bit more nervy. I was lucky I did learn though because within a year I had a job that there was no way I'd be able to get public transport to & now live somewhere that would be difficult to get around without a car.

I don't think it's odd but I do think that it's something people should learn to do even if they don't plan on using it all the time. My friends OH doesn't drive at all & I know it's a pain for her as she can never have a drink if they go somewhere as she always has to drive & with a kid as well it gets complicated.

Good luck with learning to drive OP - like I said, I only learnt around your age. I told the instructor I had that I was a bit nervous so for the first couple of lessons he brought me out at times/to places where there wasn't too much traffic so that I could get used to it all first. Maybe just say it to the instructor.

gazzer · 09-12-2015 12:10PM

Dont think it is weird at all. Our family didnt have a car growing up but we lived in inner city Dublin so never really needed one. My parents still dont have a car and I am the only one out of my brothers (4 of us) who drives. The only reason I learned to drive (when I was 35) was because I was moving to Cavan so knew I would need a car. My dad and brother cycle everywhere

Darkglasses · 09-12-2015 12:16PM

25 and haven't learned to drive either, mainly because I didn't really need the extra expense. I live in the country and like cycling to work/town/etc. It's on my list of things to do for next year though. Ideally I just want to have that sorted by the time i'm married/have kids to ferry about, but while I'm single and free of those responsibilities I like cycling to get around.

drake70 · 09-12-2015 12:16PM

I don't find it weird at all, but then I'm 44 and don't drive. I had ten lessons back in 2010 but never went any further, as in buying a car/preparing for test.

Rubberlegs · 09-12-2015 12:17PM

I don't think it's weird at all. I had no desire or need to drive until I was in my 30s. I have a reliable bus to the nearest big town, and pretty much everything here in the town I live in. For some people in the same situation, driving isn't a priority. Having a child with frequent hospital appointments changed that, so for that I learned to drive. I'm delighted now that I did it, it's a necessity now that my mother who doesn't drive lives alone, peace of mind really that I can be with her in less than 30 minutes. I still walk a lot, sometimes still hop on the bus, I think it's force of habit:). But being able to drive means I can get the weekly shopping, rather than waiting on it to be delivered. I can pick up or drop a child that needs a lift somewhere. I see my mother now in her 70s, who is very independent but for not being able to drive. She gave it a go a few years ago but didn't get on with it, and I know it kills her that she hasn't a way of getting herself around. Go for it Medusa, the independence it brings is well worth it!

Medusa22 · 09-12-2015 12:21PM

looksee wrote: »

Medusa22 - have a few lessons certainly, but if you continue to feel (unreasonably) nervous of driving, maybe you should accept that you are not supposed to be a driver. There is a lot of change between 21 and 27 so you will probably be fine, but a nervous driver on the road is a liability to everyone.

There is no reason why everyone should have the same skill-sets, we don't expect everyone to be artistic, or musical, or a gymnast, why should everyone have the co-ordination and skills to drive? It does not make you a lesser person; it might be a bit inconvenient but lots of things are inconvenient.

Give it a go, but don't let it define you, good luck, you will probably surprise yourself!

Thank you very much, I am hoping that I won't be as nervous this time, I had an instructor that was very pushy and had me driving on the dual carriageway on my second or third lesson and doing roundabouts and I just didn't feel ready at all. He wanted to go into the city centre on the fourth lesson and I just never went back after that, I think I'll need to take it slowly! It's nice to hear though that people do have different skill-sets and driving may not be something that I am able to do, but then again it might

Jamaican Me Crazy wrote: »

No I don't think it is weird at all. It's great that you are giving it another go because you will conquer your fear.

I was terrified of driving and even though I had taken loads of lessons I could never take the plunge and drive myself. 2 years ago I finally got the nerve and have been driving ever since and it is the best thing I ever did. The freedom and independence it has given me is amazing. I still take public transport to work because I can't be dealing with that hassle but for everything else I have my little car and I love it

This is just a lovely post. I am delighted to hear that you got over your fear and that you learned how to drive. I can only imagine the independence and the freedom that you have now and I can't wait to have it myself

Menas · 09-12-2015 12:21PM

Go for it Medussa22.

And thank your lucky stars you are not this fella doing his test in Cork in the 1970s.

magicmushroom · 09-12-2015 12:22PM

I do think it a little odd - and I'm sorry but yes I do judge people.
I don't mean to, but now you've asked the question I just realised that if someone told me they can't drive I would think them a little simple.
I'm clearly a horrible person!

I have someone close to me who can't drive and they always expect a lift from others like it's no big deal.
It's extremely annoying at times.

I would assume that not being able to drive would seriously hinder your job options, I'd hate to be looking at jobs and having to work out bus routes etc.

Theboinkmaster · 09-12-2015 12:23PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

When will he learn the most important life skill of all, the ability to make decisions for himself?

Parents make decisions for their children in their best interest, especially when they're 3 months old :cool:

Not being able to drive or swim in your late twenties is ridiculous.

Agricola · 09-12-2015 12:24PM

It's not weird for people who live in places where public transport is abundant but otherwise, it's a bit odd. What I find weird is people who live in the sticks and would have plenty of genuine uses for a car but have no interest in getting one when they hit 18 (or leave college) or whatever. They just prefer to leech off family and friends for as long as possible. I believe the Americans called them "bums"

Maximus Alexander · 09-12-2015 12:29PM

Medusa22 wrote: »

This is just a lovely post. I am delighted to hear that you got over your fear and that you learned how to drive. I can only imagine the independence and the freedom that you have now and I can't wait to have it myself

Fwiw, my girlfriend only learned to drive when she was about 25 because we were going to Australia for a year and wanted to share the burden of long distance trips across the country.

That's about 3 years ago now and she was super nervous at first. I ended up doing pretty much all the driving in Australia. Even after we got home and we got a car back in Ireland, she was still a wreck at times - especially when someone was in the car with her, and when parking in tight spaces. It made her so nervous.

She kept plugging away though and now has no nerves at all anymore. We don't use the car much, but it's there, and she's not intimidated about driving anywhere anymore. You'll build confidence with experience and driving just becomes second nature, like walking.

witchgirl26 · 09-12-2015 12:42PM

Theboinkmaster wrote: »

Not being able to drive or swim in your late twenties is ridiculous.

I'm 30 & only learnt to swim last year. My parents couldn't afford swimming lessons for all of us as kids & I don't think it's affected my life negatively or held me back.

I don't think not being able to do those things in your late 20's is ridiculous. If you're consistently sponging lifts without being grateful, then yeah bit bad, but each to their own.

Oh & OP - if you're nervous just a heads up that the test mightn't go well the first time due to nerves but do not let this put you off. I get very nervy with tests so wasn't great in mine. Took 4 go's to get it but stick with it & just look at the reasons. And stuff anyone who makes any comments on the number of lessons you take or the attempts at the test - do what makes you comfortable.

jimgoose · 09-12-2015 12:44PM

Theboinkmaster wrote: »

...Not being able to drive or swim in your late twenties is ridiculous.

I think this is a strange statement. I can't swim, have no interest in it, and don't give a rat's patootie for it. Given the above, swimming has no use as far as I'm concerned.

Hammer89 · 09-12-2015 12:45PM

I'm also 27 and can't drive. I'm a man though so it's definitely weirder for us I think.

jimgoose · 09-12-2015 12:46PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

I'm also 27 and can't drive. I'm a man though so it's definitely weirder for us I think.

In fairness you don't know that - you probably never tried!

Medusa22 · 09-12-2015 12:54PM

magicmushroom wrote: »

I do think it a little odd - and I'm sorry but yes I do judge people.
I don't mean to, but now you've asked the question I just realised that if someone told me they can't drive I would think them a little simple.
I'm clearly a horrible person!

I have someone close to me who can't drive and they always expect a lift from others like it's no big deal.
It's extremely annoying at times.

I would assume that not being able to drive would seriously hinder your job options, I'd hate to be looking at jobs and having to work out bus routes etc.

I understand where you're coming from but I actually have a first class honours degree so I don't think I am simple, I just have poor spacial awareness and poor hand-eye co-ordination and I am anxious and I lack confidence in myself, I don't think that driving takes intelligence, it just takes confidence and being proficient in the above areas.

I do need lifts at times alright, so it would be handy if I could drive myself because I hate asking people or taking lifts from people and I always try to take public transport if I can.

Looking for jobs is a bit more awkward alright, as soon as I see that you need a car then I can just rule that job out already!

jimgoose · 09-12-2015 12:55PM

Medusa22 wrote: »

...I just have poor spacial awareness and poor hand-eye co-ordination...

You'll fit right in in Cork, anyway. Drive on, beoir! :pac:

Theboinkmaster · 09-12-2015 12:56PM

jimgoose wrote: »

I think this is a strange statement. I can't swim, have no interest in it, and don't give a rat's patootie for it. Given the above, swimming has no use as far as I'm concerned.

70% of the planet you live on is water :P

jimgoose · 09-12-2015 12:57PM

Theboinkmaster wrote: »

70% of the planet you live on is water :P

And 30% of it is ergo not water. That's enough for me, I'm not that big!

Hammer89 · 09-12-2015 12:58PM

jimgoose wrote: »

In fairness you don't know that - you probably never tried!

This is true.

Darkglasses · 09-12-2015 12:59PM

Medusa22 wrote: »

I understand where you're coming from but I actually have a first class honours degree so I don't think I am simple, I just have poor spacial awareness and poor hand-eye co-ordination and I am anxious and I lack confidence in myself, I don't think that driving takes intelligence, it just takes confidence and being proficient in the above areas.

I do need lifts at times alright, so it would be handy if I could drive myself because I hate asking people or taking lifts from people and I always try to take public transport if I can.

Looking for jobs is a bit more awkward alright, as soon as I see that you need a car then I can just rule that job out already!

I've found cycling to be a great place to start learning how to use the roads, if you haven't tried it already.

jimgoose · 09-12-2015 01:01PM

Medusa22 wrote: »

...This is just a lovely post. I am delighted to hear that you got over your fear and that you learned how to drive. I can only imagine the independence and the freedom that you have now and I can't wait to have it myself

I'm a card-carrying instructor myself, and I can tell you that no Sensei worth his or her salt is going to expect a nervous newbie to mix it up on the road until they are reasonably happy with the basics of operating and controlling the equipment. Take as much time as you need, explain your concerns to your instructor as you go along and always ask plenty of questions, both of them and of yourself.

theteal · 09-12-2015 01:11PM

It depends a lot on where you're based. If you live rural I'd see driving as somewhat of a necessity. In urban areas with decent public transport, less people would need to drive - I only learned at 24 when I got a job in Dun Laoghaire (balls to getting a bus into town, then a Dart out to DL every morning and back in the evening!)

Anyway, now living here in sunny old east London/west Essex, I do about 8-10 miles a week. We barely need a car, why we have two is completely beyond me!

scdublin · 09-12-2015 01:18PM

I don't think it's weird. Like you say, most people who can't drive haven't had the need to learn because public transport is handy enough for them. I do think it's a great thing to be able to do though, especially for later in life if you end up having kids. Not fair on one parent to have to do all the running around.

Penny Dreadful · 09-12-2015 01:40PM

I grew up in a rural place and my parents/ friends parents gave us lifts places. We got the school bus for secondary school or cycled which was grand.
Then in college I never learned to drive, couldn't afford it anyway and walked everywhere.
Then I moved to Dublin for work and lived on a bus and train route so got in and out of town that way.

When I needed to change jobs I realised I was very restricted by not being able to drive. I'd put it off for a good while at this stage as I was in a bad car accident when I was 19 but just had to face up to the nerves on that one and once I started I never looked back.
I was 26/27 when I learned.

chanelfreak · 09-12-2015 01:48PM

I think its a bit strange. My husband is 35 and doesnt drive and it is a major, major pain in the ass. I broke my elbow a few years ago and we ended up having to get a taxi to the hospital because he cant drive and there was no effing way I was getting on a bus with a broken elbow.
Anyway, I have finally shamed him into getting lessons, so he'll start in the NY thank God. He is bricking it though, because I think the longer you leave it, the scarier it is to start. Definitely think it is a skill all adults should have.
But best of luck OP, you'll be grand!

chopperbyrne · 09-12-2015 01:50PM

I lived and worked in Dublin, so never felt the need to drive.

Only started at 28 because I was moving to Wexford.

danganabu · 09-12-2015 01:54PM

chanelfreak wrote: »

I have finally shamed him into getting lessons, so he'll start in the NY thank God!

Jaysus he might be better off starting somewhere a little quieter, the big apple can be quite busy!

Do you think it's weird if someone doesn't know how to drive?

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