Do you think it's weird if someone doesn't know how to drive?

Medusa22

I'm 27 and I don't know how to drive (I think it's a bit odd when people say ''I don't drive'', I usually say I can't drive or I don't know how to). Santa will be bringing me some driving lesson vouchers so I'll finally be starting to learn (again - I had four lessons when I was 21 but I was absolutely petrified so I never went back). My OH is German and her family members and friends are often taken aback when I tell them that I can't drive, over there it's just a given really, as soon as you're 18 you learn.

So, people of AH, do you think it is strange or odd if someone doesn't know how to drive? Do you judge them? Or if they are able to get around without needing a lift do you just think 'each to their own'?

I just find it inconvenient that I can't drive, and family members are constantly ''suggesting'' that I give it a go again, so I've finally decided that I will. I've moved from Dublin back home to Cork in the last year so public transport is more of an issue now, though my OH drives and we have a car so it's grand really, she does the driving, but I'd like to be able to share that with her, so she doesn't have to do all of the driving.

Liamario

I think it's important that you do learn how to drive, even if you don't own a car. It's an important skill.

The Backwards Man

Nothing weird about it at all. There's people on the road forty years and they haven't a clue how to drive either.

Rubberchikken

no i don't find it strange/weird in fact.
tbh i think if i had the time back i'd never have learned. bloody road users are wearing me down. time to consider hanging up my steering wheel i'm thinking.

Shenshen

Nope, not weird at all. I was 37 before I learned to drive.
It really depends on where you grow up and if it's something you really need. We never had a car when I was growing up, and I had always lived in places where public transport was such that owning a car would have been a ridiculous and unnecessary expense. That only really changed once I moved to Ireland.

Btw, I am from Germany, and there are far more people over there who never bother learning to drive. Mostly because making your license there will set you back €3000 at least for the mandatory lessons. And also because unless you live in a remote village in Mecklenburg, public transport is usually widely available and much more affordable than a car.

Presume it's more prevalent in urban areas. In rural Ireland, not driving is incredibly inconvenient given the dire state of public transport.

c_man

I've never really had the need. I have taken a few lessons but never took it further. I really should have gotten off my arse and done it when I was younger but maybe if I hold off a few decades, those robot cars will save us all. I'm a lazy, lazy man...

JustShon

Also 27 with no license of any kind here.

I've been renting in Dublin for the last 6 years or so and haven't had any impetus to learn how to drive. I live a 15 min walk from where I work and there's a bus stop to the city centre right outside my apartment block.

I know it's something I should get around to learning but I rarely find myself thinking "If only I had a car." So I haven't been bothered basically.

Medusa22

c_man wrote: »

I've never really had the need. I have taken a few lessons but never took it further. I really should have gotten off my arse and done it when I was younger but maybe if I hold off a few decades, those robot cars will save us all. I'm a lazy, lazy man...

I have been holding out hope for those driverless cars alright :pac:

Shenshen

c_man wrote: »

I've never really had the need. I have taken a few lessons but never took it further. I really should have gotten off my arse and done it when I was younger but maybe if I hold off a few decades, those robot cars will save us all. I'm a lazy, lazy man...

Oh, I can't WAIT for the robot cars!!!
I'd love to just get in, get a book out and not worry about other people's idiocy until I get to my destination. Please, please, please Google, speed up the development!

XR3i

i'll sell ya a van

cowboyBuilder

Not strange at all OP, I was 30 when I finally got my licence, and now I haven't driven for years and am terrified of going back on the road,
I have a licence but dont think I deserve it ! :O

Maximus Alexander

I sort of find it a bit odd, yeah. I wouldn't 'judge' someone for it, just sorta think "huh, that's odd". In my head it's kinda like if you discovered someone didn't know how to use a washing machine or something.

I'm not talking about car ownership, which is close to pointless for a lot of people who live in the city, it just seems to me that being able to drive is one of those basic skills that I tend to expect an adult to have.

I wouldn't go as far as saying it's weird. I just don't *get* adults not driving.

doolox

I do not know of any specialist in Ireland but I have heard of such in the UK who deal with learner drivers who are anxious etc.

This is perfectly understandable given that our roads have twice as many cars on them as in the 70's and much more drivers of different countries and different driving standards, rules and test regimens. The Irish fall in the middle of driving skills, some nations being better than us and some worse.

You need to get an instructor who will focus on your anxiety and teach you ways to cope with driving traffic etc.

This may take longer than for the average person and may cost more but a crash and resultant injury to yourself or others will cost much more and the only way to avoid this is to invest in proper training at the start.Try to avoid getting any bad driving habits by detecting them with a good driving instructor from the start.

Often timid, anxious and over cautious drivers are more dangerous than speedy aggressive types as they are doing the unexpected things more often than the average driver....speed braking maneouvering etc.... The key to success is good instruction from the start even if this takes more lessons and more coaching than the average.

looksee

Medusa22 - have a few lessons certainly, but if you continue to feel (unreasonably) nervous of driving, maybe you should accept that you are not supposed to be a driver. There is a lot of change between 21 and 27 so you will probably be fine, but a nervous driver on the road is a liability to everyone.

There is no reason why everyone should have the same skill-sets, we don't expect everyone to be artistic, or musical, or a gymnast, why should everyone have the co-ordination and skills to drive? It does not make you a lesser person; it might be a bit inconvenient but lots of things are inconvenient.

Give it a go, but don't let it define you, good luck, you will probably surprise yourself!

Danjamin1

It's not weird but it's a great skill to learn at an early age to have the experience when you're older. It can be fun too, I love driving (though I do note you haven't enjoyed it yourself so far).

I'm 30 and have been driving 10 years, my brother is 27 and is only learning now. It's something he now wishes he had done earlier. It hasn't been a problem for him as he lives in Dublin, close to DART & bus routes, etc. but it's been a pain for others (myself included) that he's had to rely on lifts to get certain places that public transport doesn't serve. I know his girlfriend is very excited about the prospect of not having to do all of the driving!!

c_man

Deleted User wrote: »

I wouldn't go as far as saying it's weird. I just don't *get* adults not driving.

Can you give me a lift? Sound.

blue note

It's not odd. In Ireland I find it depends on where you're from. I'm from Tramore and we had regular buses into the city and directly to Dublin when I was growing up / in college. So since there was never a need I didn't go near the extra expenses of lessons and insurance. Most people in the town were the same and I generally found most people from similar towns were the same.

When I got to college I found a lot of Dubs knew how to drive. I reckon not having living away from home expenses had a lot to do with this. And people from rural areas / midland towns often knew how to drive. I think basically out of necessity.

It is a useful skill though. You never know when you might get a job for which you need to drive.

Shenshen

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I'm not talking about car ownership, which is close to pointless for a lot of people who live in the city, it just seems to me that being able to drive is one of those basic skills that I tend to expect an adult to have.

That was actually one of the main reasons I left it so late to learn how to drive - I knew I wouldn't have a car. Essentially, I would have to spend a lot of money on getting a license, and then most likely spend years not driving a car once. So if I got around to eventually having a car, I'd nearly have to start learning how to drive from scratch.

I'm not one for duplication of effort.

Medusa22

doolox wrote: »

I do not know of any specialist in Ireland but I have heard of such in the UK who deal with learner drivers who are anxious etc.

This is perfectly understandable given that our roads have twice as many cars on them as in the 70's and much more drivers of different countries and different driving standards, rules and test regimens. The Irish fall in the middle of driving skills, some nations being better than us and some worse.

You need to get an instructor who will focus on your anxiety and teach you ways to cope with driving traffic etc.

This may take longer than for the average person and may cost more but a crash and resultant injury to yourself or others will cost much more and the only way to avoid this is to invest in proper training at the start.Try to avoid getting any bad driving habits by detecting them with a good driving instructor from the start.

Often timid, anxious and over cautious drivers are more dangerous than speedy aggressive types as they are doing the unexpected things more often than the average driver....speed braking maneouvering etc.... The key to success is good instruction from the start even if this takes more lessons and more coaching than the average.

Thank you very much for your advice I'm an anxious person in general and I usually get quite anxious in situations like this - learning how to drive. I'm going to go to a driving school where they don't take you out on the road until you're comfortable and they actually have their own centre which has an artificial road system with traffic lights etc, and you learn how to drive without worrying about other drivers and cars, at least in the beginning anyway and that's exactly what I need. I'm going to take as many lessons as I need to until I feel very comfortable!

Lux23

I never had the need and I still don't want to learn, I am thinking I might do it next year.

Riesen_Meal

Didn't drive until I was 27...


Didn't "need" a car until I was 27, mind you I had great access to public transport where I grew up....

c_man

c_man wrote: »

Can you give me a lift? Sound.

You have lovely eyes.

How's that?

Buona Fortuna

In this neck of the woods cars only started to get at all popular in the 50s. Wife's father had the first car in the village.

A friend of the wife's Grand Father was learning to drive. He'd been used to horse and sidecar up to that point and assumed that like a horse the car wouldn't take you down a bank. Didn't end so well.

riffmongous

I only wish I had learned back in Ireland before they got their act together and made you take lessons, now I am pretty reluctant to spend the money on it, especially with the great public transport over here (365 euros all access for the year)

jimgoose

I wouldn't describe it as "weird", no. Plenty of people have no need of and/or no interest in, driving. It is perfectly possible in many city environments to live well enough without it. Personally I find it rather difficult to imagine life without it, but then I would say that. Best of luck with the learning, anyway!

Theboinkmaster

I'd put this in the same bucket as not being able to swim tbh - weird.

My son is 8 weeks old and he'll learn to swim in the new year and drive as soon as he's 17 - important life skills.

The Backwards Man

Theboinkmaster wrote: »

I'd put this in the same bucket as not being able to swim tbh - weird.

My son is 8 weeks old and he'll learn to swim in the new year and drive as soon as he's 17 - important life skills.

When will he learn the most important life skill of all, the ability to make decisions for himself?

Jamaican Me Crazy

No I don't think it is weird at all. It's great that you are giving it another go because you will conquer your fear.

I was terrified of driving and even though I had taken loads of lessons I could never take the plunge and drive myself. 2 years ago I finally got the nerve and have been driving ever since and it is the best thing I ever did. The freedom and independence it has given me is amazing. I still take public transport to work because I can't be dealing with that hassle but for everything else I have my little car and I love it

libelula

Where I come from (way out wesht) it's fairly odd to not have a motor under you as soon as you legally can. Public transport is fairly abyssmal, so you'd be pretty much stranded without your own way about.

I was 19 when I got my license, and that would have been fairly late.

Diamond Doll

My then-boyfriend made me learn to drive and sit the test when I was around 19/20. I'm very glad he did! That was over ten years ago, I have a car right now but haven't always had one and could probably manage quite well without one. But it's still so handy to have the option there. In particular, I'd hate to be limited in my choice of jobs because of not being able to drive ... not everywhere is accessible by public transport. I'm insured on my dad's car, so even at times when I didn't have my own, it's been handy to be able to borrow it for a few days at a time for moving house, that sort of thing.

I don't think it's weird for someone not to know how to drive, but it's a really handy life skill to have, even if you never end up owning a car.

Lollipops23

I think it's a skill every adult should have.

I learned at 19, passed my test at 21. I don't drive every day, but would be lost without me motor.

My OH is 26 and is in the process of learning. I'll be delighted when I'm not relied on for transport!

witchgirl26

I didn't learn to drive until I was in my mid-20's as I didn't need to. I was able to get most places at that time on public transport. However I do wish I'd learned earlier as it was a bit more nervy. I was lucky I did learn though because within a year I had a job that there was no way I'd be able to get public transport to & now live somewhere that would be difficult to get around without a car.

I don't think it's odd but I do think that it's something people should learn to do even if they don't plan on using it all the time. My friends OH doesn't drive at all & I know it's a pain for her as she can never have a drink if they go somewhere as she always has to drive & with a kid as well it gets complicated.

Good luck with learning to drive OP - like I said, I only learnt around your age. I told the instructor I had that I was a bit nervous so for the first couple of lessons he brought me out at times/to places where there wasn't too much traffic so that I could get used to it all first. Maybe just say it to the instructor.

gazzer

Dont think it is weird at all. Our family didnt have a car growing up but we lived in inner city Dublin so never really needed one. My parents still dont have a car and I am the only one out of my brothers (4 of us) who drives. The only reason I learned to drive (when I was 35) was because I was moving to Cavan so knew I would need a car. My dad and brother cycle everywhere

Darkglasses

25 and haven't learned to drive either, mainly because I didn't really need the extra expense. I live in the country and like cycling to work/town/etc. It's on my list of things to do for next year though. Ideally I just want to have that sorted by the time i'm married/have kids to ferry about, but while I'm single and free of those responsibilities I like cycling to get around.

drake70

I don't find it weird at all, but then I'm 44 and don't drive. I had ten lessons back in 2010 but never went any further, as in buying a car/preparing for test.

Rubberlegs

I don't think it's weird at all. I had no desire or need to drive until I was in my 30s. I have a reliable bus to the nearest big town, and pretty much everything here in the town I live in. For some people in the same situation, driving isn't a priority. Having a child with frequent hospital appointments changed that, so for that I learned to drive. I'm delighted now that I did it, it's a necessity now that my mother who doesn't drive lives alone, peace of mind really that I can be with her in less than 30 minutes. I still walk a lot, sometimes still hop on the bus, I think it's force of habit:). But being able to drive means I can get the weekly shopping, rather than waiting on it to be delivered. I can pick up or drop a child that needs a lift somewhere. I see my mother now in her 70s, who is very independent but for not being able to drive. She gave it a go a few years ago but didn't get on with it, and I know it kills her that she hasn't a way of getting herself around. Go for it Medusa, the independence it brings is well worth it!

Medusa22

looksee wrote: »

Medusa22 - have a few lessons certainly, but if you continue to feel (unreasonably) nervous of driving, maybe you should accept that you are not supposed to be a driver. There is a lot of change between 21 and 27 so you will probably be fine, but a nervous driver on the road is a liability to everyone.

There is no reason why everyone should have the same skill-sets, we don't expect everyone to be artistic, or musical, or a gymnast, why should everyone have the co-ordination and skills to drive? It does not make you a lesser person; it might be a bit inconvenient but lots of things are inconvenient.

Give it a go, but don't let it define you, good luck, you will probably surprise yourself!

Thank you very much, I am hoping that I won't be as nervous this time, I had an instructor that was very pushy and had me driving on the dual carriageway on my second or third lesson and doing roundabouts and I just didn't feel ready at all. He wanted to go into the city centre on the fourth lesson and I just never went back after that, I think I'll need to take it slowly! It's nice to hear though that people do have different skill-sets and driving may not be something that I am able to do, but then again it might

Jamaican Me Crazy wrote: »

No I don't think it is weird at all. It's great that you are giving it another go because you will conquer your fear.

I was terrified of driving and even though I had taken loads of lessons I could never take the plunge and drive myself. 2 years ago I finally got the nerve and have been driving ever since and it is the best thing I ever did. The freedom and independence it has given me is amazing. I still take public transport to work because I can't be dealing with that hassle but for everything else I have my little car and I love it

This is just a lovely post. I am delighted to hear that you got over your fear and that you learned how to drive. I can only imagine the independence and the freedom that you have now and I can't wait to have it myself

Menas

Go for it Medussa22.

And thank your lucky stars you are not this fella doing his test in Cork in the 1970s.

magicmushroom

I do think it a little odd - and I'm sorry but yes I do judge people.
I don't mean to, but now you've asked the question I just realised that if someone told me they can't drive I would think them a little simple.
I'm clearly a horrible person!

I have someone close to me who can't drive and they always expect a lift from others like it's no big deal.
It's extremely annoying at times.

I would assume that not being able to drive would seriously hinder your job options, I'd hate to be looking at jobs and having to work out bus routes etc.

Theboinkmaster

The Backwards Man wrote: »

When will he learn the most important life skill of all, the ability to make decisions for himself?

Parents make decisions for their children in their best interest, especially when they're 3 months old :cool:

Not being able to drive or swim in your late twenties is ridiculous.

Agricola

It's not weird for people who live in places where public transport is abundant but otherwise, it's a bit odd. What I find weird is people who live in the sticks and would have plenty of genuine uses for a car but have no interest in getting one when they hit 18 (or leave college) or whatever. They just prefer to leech off family and friends for as long as possible. I believe the Americans called them "bums"

Maximus Alexander

Medusa22 wrote: »

This is just a lovely post. I am delighted to hear that you got over your fear and that you learned how to drive. I can only imagine the independence and the freedom that you have now and I can't wait to have it myself

Fwiw, my girlfriend only learned to drive when she was about 25 because we were going to Australia for a year and wanted to share the burden of long distance trips across the country.

That's about 3 years ago now and she was super nervous at first. I ended up doing pretty much all the driving in Australia. Even after we got home and we got a car back in Ireland, she was still a wreck at times - especially when someone was in the car with her, and when parking in tight spaces. It made her so nervous.

She kept plugging away though and now has no nerves at all anymore. We don't use the car much, but it's there, and she's not intimidated about driving anywhere anymore. You'll build confidence with experience and driving just becomes second nature, like walking.

witchgirl26

Theboinkmaster wrote: »

Not being able to drive or swim in your late twenties is ridiculous.

I'm 30 & only learnt to swim last year. My parents couldn't afford swimming lessons for all of us as kids & I don't think it's affected my life negatively or held me back.

I don't think not being able to do those things in your late 20's is ridiculous. If you're consistently sponging lifts without being grateful, then yeah bit bad, but each to their own.

Oh & OP - if you're nervous just a heads up that the test mightn't go well the first time due to nerves but do not let this put you off. I get very nervy with tests so wasn't great in mine. Took 4 go's to get it but stick with it & just look at the reasons. And stuff anyone who makes any comments on the number of lessons you take or the attempts at the test - do what makes you comfortable.

jimgoose

Theboinkmaster wrote: »

...Not being able to drive or swim in your late twenties is ridiculous.

I think this is a strange statement. I can't swim, have no interest in it, and don't give a rat's patootie for it. Given the above, swimming has no use as far as I'm concerned.

Hammer89

I'm also 27 and can't drive. I'm a man though so it's definitely weirder for us I think.

jimgoose

Hammer89 wrote: »

I'm also 27 and can't drive. I'm a man though so it's definitely weirder for us I think.

In fairness you don't know that - you probably never tried!

Medusa22

magicmushroom wrote: »

I do think it a little odd - and I'm sorry but yes I do judge people.
I don't mean to, but now you've asked the question I just realised that if someone told me they can't drive I would think them a little simple.
I'm clearly a horrible person!

I have someone close to me who can't drive and they always expect a lift from others like it's no big deal.
It's extremely annoying at times.

I would assume that not being able to drive would seriously hinder your job options, I'd hate to be looking at jobs and having to work out bus routes etc.

I understand where you're coming from but I actually have a first class honours degree so I don't think I am simple, I just have poor spacial awareness and poor hand-eye co-ordination and I am anxious and I lack confidence in myself, I don't think that driving takes intelligence, it just takes confidence and being proficient in the above areas.

I do need lifts at times alright, so it would be handy if I could drive myself because I hate asking people or taking lifts from people and I always try to take public transport if I can.

Looking for jobs is a bit more awkward alright, as soon as I see that you need a car then I can just rule that job out already!

jimgoose

Medusa22 wrote: »

...I just have poor spacial awareness and poor hand-eye co-ordination...

You'll fit right in in Cork, anyway. Drive on, beoir! :pac:

Theboinkmaster

jimgoose wrote: »

I think this is a strange statement. I can't swim, have no interest in it, and don't give a rat's patootie for it. Given the above, swimming has no use as far as I'm concerned.

70% of the planet you live on is water :P