Theres always one clown that brings a guitar to a party

liz lemoncello · 07-08-2015 09:36PM

Barely There wrote: »

...
Went into the kitchen and there was guitar-wanker himself sat at the table churning out some Radiohead (this was the 90's).....

In Canada we don't allow guitar **** entry into the kitchen; they must stay in the front room.

In the corner.

Wright · 07-08-2015 09:38PM

ChippingSodbury wrote: »

I take it you don't play!

It never fails to pull the chicks. You don't even need to play, when the chicks come, just tell them you broke a string earlier on, a g-string, ask the chick for a loan

I heaved...

magentis · 08-08-2015 01:00AM

Reminds me of indiependence last weekend.

There was a tool just walking around the whole weekend at the camp site with a mandolin,never played it once.Just walked about with it under his arm.

freshpopcorn · 08-08-2015 01:05AM

magentis wrote: »

Reminds me of indiependence last weekend.

There was a tool just walking around the whole weekend at the camp site with a mandolin,never played it once.Just walked about with it under his arm.

At least it was only seen and not heard.

John_Rambo · 08-08-2015 10:46AM

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Nah man we get rat arsed on dutch gold then beat the **** out of each other and take a dump in the sink.

M&S food, incontinence and Farah slacks?

Wild.

McDermotX · 08-08-2015 10:56AM

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 08-08-2015 09:58PM

Choochtown wrote: »

Not necessarily. It's all been explained earlier in the thread. Maybe the lad who cut the strings had a friend whose brother lived in the house where the party is. The brother kept wire-cutters that could be easily found in the shed which incidently was a well-lit shed so no torch was needed. Anyway the friend went to the shed and found the aforementioned wire-cutters (what a stroke of luck), brought them into the house, gave them to the first lad who then cut the strings. I've left out the bit about "under the stairs" so as not to confuse matters. A very logical and feasible explanation.

It was all explained very politely to me yesterday.

Are you actually trying to make all that sound outlandish and made up?

Tools AND a light in a shed?!?! Someone going to their BROTHER'S party?!

The guitar wanker is the worst. I've been to great parties where there were lots of people who were very skilled musicians (my brother's in music college) and a grand auld session was had, mad craic and not disruptive to everyone else. I've been to a great deal more parties however where some prick whips out his personality-substitute unasked for and murders a few sh1te songs, mistaking drunken bewilderment and polite but miserable tolerance for people thinking he's great. Fcuking tortuous

ShiftStorm · 09-08-2015 12:24PM

I'm in a band and enjoy playing where there's a proper set up but I've definitely been coerced to play/sing at parties before and hated every moment!

While we're talking about music/socialising, I was recently at a bog standard restaurant/pub having dinner and a brutal band (terrible singer, a guitarist and someone playing canon) started playing far too loudly at about 7 pm - Wonderwall, American Pie, Sweet Home Alabama, the works. It was so bad that we upped and left. Why do restaurants do this?? Surely that kind of sh1te would drive away the dinner crowd and is only appreciated by drunk people after 11pm?

5rtytry56 · 09-08-2015 12:31PM

ShiftStorm wrote: »

Why do restaurants do this?? Surely that kind of sh1te would drive away the dinner crowd and is only appreciated by drunk people after 11pm?

Because the same inebriated individuals can be served any sort of plonk/kak at that point. Works for many a Dublin City establishment.

TrafficBug · 09-08-2015 01:03PM

Your only raging that the guitarist wont play your favourite Steps & 1direction

Capt'n Midnight · 11-08-2015 09:59PM

The definition of a Scottish gentleman is someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

The Rape of Lucretia · 15-08-2015 09:34AM

I didnt check all the posts, but was any definite action agreed on how to handle the guitar wanker problem and achieve a genuine improvement ?

- undertaking from guitar **** to mend their ways, or even acknowledgement from them that they have a problem and are interfering negatively with the lives of others
- a publicity campaign to ensure the wider public of guitar **** who dont read boards are informed of the trouble they cause
- support structures or short courses and helpline for them to help curtail their habit and understand the damage they are causing society
- controls on the sales of guitars, or a licenceing system which can suspend the licences of offenders
- an early education initiative at school level so that kids do not go down the slippery slope and become the bane of every party by age 21
- government action is needed here, and can see it being a headline issue over the next six months in the run up to the election : bring it up with you TDs when they come knocking on your door (if they have a guitar in hand, just close the door in their face wthout further ado.)

5rtytry56 · 15-08-2015 09:52AM

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

- government action is needed here, and can see it being a headline issue over the next six months in the run up to the election : bring it up with you TDs when they come knocking on your door (if they have a guitar in hand, just close the door in their face wthout further ado.)

This could make for a significant boost for the FG/LAB coalition in the popularity ratings if they took action here.

bnt · 15-08-2015 10:08AM

Last time I was at a party where someone brought a guitar, it was actually OK - the guy played a few cheerful songs at a point when the party needed a boost.

I kind-of killed the mood by getting too into it. The song was Hotel California by The Eagles, and I was trying to do background vocals. When we got to the second verse line "and still those voices are calling from far away", I chimed in ... right timing, high part perfectly in tune ... but so loud that everyone just stopped and started at me.

Blazer · 16-08-2015 12:30PM

My parents who are in their 60's go to these things called Rambling houses where about 15 people all come in and take over the pub and sing these god awful depressing songs and play guitar/fiddle/whistle etc..god love them they love it and the old lady even took up guitar but the thoughts of it remind me of an external hell..maybe we can send the guitar wánkers there

Old Jakey · 16-08-2015 07:36PM

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

It sounds like a lot of you guys have really sh*tty parties.

We always had the room full of people standing around chatting and drinking with music on, the living room type room full of people lazing about on the couch drinking and chatting with music on, the garden or deck with people smoking and chatting and drinking with music wafting out from inside, the people having heart to hearts in a hall or on the stairs, and the room with the people who wanted to dick around with guitars etc and those who wanted to listen to them. People come and go from room to room as the night goes on and a different moods strike them.

I can't imagine it would be much of a party if someone picking up a guitar meant everyone had to stop what they were doing.

Absolute mad man.

Anyway I'm a guitar wanker but not by choice. I always get asked to play, but I only play instrumentals and I don't expect everyone to be silent when I play.

Actually last time we were sitting outside by the fire and I played some classical music. People really liked it, said it was good mood music.

Tonyandthewhale · 16-08-2015 10:29PM

Happily quite a few of my close friends play in pretty decent bands so it tends to not be terrible the odd time a guitar does make an appearance. More importantly most of these people aren't too bothered about playing in public when they're not being paid to do so.

ShiverinEskimo · 17-08-2015 09:32AM

Old Jakey wrote: »

People really liked it, said it was good mood music.

Yea people are two-faced like that.

Maximus Alexander · 23-08-2015 12:49AM

Old Jakey wrote: »

Absolute mad man.

What do you mean by mad man?

brian_7070 · 04-12-2015 11:31AM

Boring username wrote: »

And what's with all these miserable trad songs at a session? It's all

"The Tans came and shot my spuds,
and me cattle fell off a cliff,
like in the ending of The Field only worse,
and the wife got leprosy and died too,
on the night of the big wind struck so it t'was,
Well I took to the bed for the rest of my days,
oh and I'm a raging alcoholic too in case you didn't know"

A bit of optimism wouldn't go astray like.

Brilliant someone should put this to music
A Guitar wanker even

SEPT 23 1989 · 04-12-2015 12:51PM

One man and his drum machine annoys me far more

Blackwell · 04-12-2015 12:54PM

Best house party I was at had a guy in the living room playing guitar and nobody listening to him and another guy in the kitchen playing the tennis racket and everybody listening to him.

lanos · 04-12-2015 01:59PM

It is probably well accepted by now that guitar wanker is a very real species.
not imaginary or solely the product of envy. and in this information age, everybody knows everything.
if you are unsure about your chosen instrument, just do a google search
tinwhistle wanker - 1 hit
flute wanker - 0 hits
Guitar wanker - loads of hits

so why do they do it ?

do the short term benefits outweigh the lasting stigma - free food/drink and a legover from some equally attention-seeking minger
or is the wanker just oblivious to the negative effect they have on many people.

Salvation Tambourine · 04-12-2015 02:02PM

tigerboon wrote: »

Do you not know the OP is in Wu Tang Clan (Ireland)

Wu Tang Clannad?

harry Bailey esq · 04-12-2015 03:42PM

lanos wrote: »

flute wanker - 0 hits

Hehehehehe :pac:

Sheeps · 04-12-2015 03:44PM

I know a guitar wanker or two. I leave the party when someone has a guitar. Irish goodbye, just slip out and say nothing.

AnonoBoy · 04-12-2015 05:06PM

Guitar Wanker is the reason the kitchen with some daycent tunes pumping out is where it's at at parties.

Or it was when I was in college. Back then we used to listen to tunes off CDs.

Kids these days haven't a clue what a CD is man.

Not a clue.

willmunny1990 · 04-12-2015 05:13PM

Often been in a situation where some guitar wanker would pop in and start up.

Can't stick it, even worse are the shower that sing along with him. Have to leave, as the poster above said the irish goodbye, just head to the toilet and slip out without saying anything.

Same with the guy who comes in and starts spamming Oasis or some other dirt on the jukebox.

Dr.Winston O'Boogie · 05-12-2015 12:02AM

I play guitar. I never ever want to play guitars at parties but my friends know I play and so if there is a guitar at a party brought by someone else I'll normally be asked to play a song or two. I've managed to avoid doing this on about 90% of occasions but there has been a few times where it seemed people actually wanted to have a sing a along or whatever so I did play for a short time.

Just to clarify again I hate playing in that type of situation, I don't like a group of people looking at me and I don't think I'm any good really although I can carry a tune. Also if feels like a long awkward silence when everyone stops talking and its just you making noise.

Just to balance it out though from the other side if you are sitting there with a guitar and every Tom Dick and Harry is asking you to play "Wonderwall" (hate it) or "Time of your Life (Good Riddance)" or something equally as standard as that its just as annoying. These types of people just want to sing the one song they know all the words too and have you waste drinking time playing guitar to make it happen.

Also there seems to be people on here saying strumming guitar isn't playing, of course it is. Its not the time and place for a 9 minute instrumental guitar piece, people want to hear something they know and something that everyone can sing. This is generally the problem and why I hate been put in that situation. "Do you know this?" No. "Do you know that?" No don't know that either, can I just enjoy the party now?

cantdecide · 05-12-2015 01:10AM

^^^

I hate being made to play but it sure beats a load of lads standing around drinking and talking about the match

Theres always one clown that brings a guitar to a party

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