Money and Land

wetlandsboy · 29-11-2015 02:19AM

I was shocked recently to hear a friend's story about his wive's female friends: in their mid/late twenties the narrative was mainly about potential partners' money and job/title. I just can't fathom how potential (male) partners could be viewed by women in such a reductive way. Is this purely a female thing? I'm a professor, earn a very large salary, but would never judge a potential partner on the basis of their job. Yet, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that suggests that a lot of women may see things slightly differently.

risteard7 · 29-11-2015 02:20AM

I have fcuking neither but i have pride

Sh1tbag OToole · 29-11-2015 02:20AM

wetlandsboy wrote: »

I was shocked recently to hear a friend's story about his wive's female friends: in their mid/late twenties the narrative was mainly about potential partners' money and job/title. I just can't fathom how potential (male) partners could be viewed by women in such a reductive way. Is this purely a female thing? I'm a professor, earn a very large salary, but would never judge a potential partner on the basis of their job. Yet, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that suggests that a lot of women may see things slightly differently.

South Dublin?

harry Bailey esq · 29-11-2015 02:33AM

cantdecide wrote: »

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the woman.

And let's not forget the sugar

irish son · 29-11-2015 02:54AM

wetlandsboy wrote: »

I was shocked recently to hear a friend's story about his wive's female friends: in their mid/late twenties the narrative was mainly about potential partners' money and job/title. I just can't fathom how potential (male) partners could be viewed by women in such a reductive way. Is this purely a female thing? I'm a professor, earn a very large salary, but would never judge a potential partner on the basis of their job. Yet, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that suggests that a lot of women may see things slightly differently.

This will probably be an unpopular opinion on here and I'm speaking in general terms but its what I think is more likely to happen in both genders thinking...

Women are more interested in a potential partners profession/long term salary potential than men are, the ones doing it may not even realise they are doing it, it may subconsciously. If telling friends about a new guy they're dating the most likely first thing they'll ask is what does he do and slightly judge him and your choice of guy on the answer and compare in their heads to they're own partners profession. I think some of this may got to do with having a bit of stability for future children down the line.

Men on the other hand are more shallow about looks than women and care less about a woman's profession and salary. If a guy is telling his friends about a new girl he's seeing they are more likely to ask to see her Facebook page to see what she looks like and judge her and compare her looks wise to their own partner.

Tigger · 29-11-2015 02:57AM

i never did better than when i was basically homeless, lean well exercised and able to put the hours in.
oh and lying about being homeless

wetlandsboy · 29-11-2015 03:05AM

irish son wrote: »

This will probably be an unpopular opinion on here and I'm speaking in general terms but its what I think is more likely to happen in both genders thinking...

Women are more interested in a potential partners profession/long term salary potential than men are, the ones doing it may not even realise they are doing it, it may subconsciously. If telling friends about a new guy they're dating the most likely first thing they'll ask is what does he do and slightly judge him and your choice of guy on the answer and compare in their heads to they're own partners profession. I think some of this may got to do with having a bit of stability for future children down the line.

Men on the other hand are more shallow about looks than women and care less about a woman's profession and salary. If a guy is telling his friends about a new girl he's seeing they are more likely to ask to see her Facebook page to see what she looks like and judge her and compare her looks wise to their own partner.

Yes, I certainly think this is the norm. I would be most interested to hear if this is the general conscious.

foxy farmer · 29-11-2015 03:40AM

jimgoose wrote: »

What?? A ton of coal and a hundred acres, and blessed silence?

I'm living the dream. I'd rather a cold house than a cold bitch!
Back in the day while training in Dublin we found that occupation was make or break. If we were out of a night and lads started getting brave we were soon put back in our box. If you were asked what you did and you replied apprentice electrician the woman would leave like the Delorean in Back to the Future!
If you replied in the ESB they'd question more looking to see what line you were in eg accounting engineering etc. When theyd finally discover that you were only a lowly apprentice they'd drop ya like a hot potato.

CIP4 · 30-11-2015 12:55AM

irish son wrote: »

This will probably be an unpopular opinion on here and I'm speaking in general terms but its what I think is more likely to happen in both genders thinking...

Women are more interested in a potential partners profession/long term salary potential than men are, the ones doing it may not even realise they are doing it, it may subconsciously. If telling friends about a new guy they're dating the most likely first thing they'll ask is what does he do and slightly judge him and your choice of guy on the answer and compare in their heads to they're own partners profession. I think some of this may got to do with having a bit of stability for future children down the line.

Men on the other hand are more shallow about looks than women and care less about a woman's profession and salary. If a guy is telling his friends about a new girl he's seeing they are more likely to ask to see her Facebook page to see what she looks like and judge her and compare her looks wise to their own partner.

I think this is definitely the case. Any of my male friends as you said would generally go on about looks I don't think I've ever heard one start with oh well she works at x doing whatever.

Whereas for some woman (not all) what the guy does seems to be a huge make or break thing. I'd personally hate to think that a girl would be going out with me because of my profession or earning potential. As I personally couldn't care less what she did within reason as I don't think it matters in deciding whether or not you like her. I often wondered would you be better of playing down your job profession to see if the woman was genuinely interested. Hard to know really that's probably not a great thing to do either. Maybe there is some males like this where profession is important but I can't say I know any.

Canadel · 30-11-2015 01:19AM

irish son wrote: »

This will probably be an unpopular opinion on here and I'm speaking in general terms but its what I think is more likely to happen in both genders thinking...

Women are more interested in a potential partners profession/long term salary potential than men are, the ones doing it may not even realise they are doing it, it may subconsciously. If telling friends about a new guy they're dating the most likely first thing they'll ask is what does he do and slightly judge him and your choice of guy on the answer and compare in their heads to they're own partners profession. I think some of this may got to do with having a bit of stability for future children down the line.

Men on the other hand are more shallow about looks than women and care less about a woman's profession and salary. If a guy is telling his friends about a new girl he's seeing they are more likely to ask to see her Facebook page to see what she looks like and judge her and compare her looks wise to their own partner.

Personality not even mentioned once..

Also, how is it more more shallow to care about looks than a person's profession and salary? Surely the opposite it true. Looks and physical attraction are a very important part of choosing a partner I would have thought, along with personality and shared interest.

Witchie · 30-11-2015 01:42AM

I don't think it has ever entered the equation for me. I have always fended for myself financially and always expect to. In fact I had an ex who had a fairly good job in finance and I used to be a little embarrassed getting out of his sports car coz that just was not my way. I grew up in a family where my dad worked his ass off as a builder/restaurant owner/musician and various other jobs and it was always in me not to care what a guy works at or what he earns, just being willing to graft is good enough. Actually now if a guy did nothing it wouldn't really matter coz I will continue to look after myself and my sons and have raised them without any help from their dad to adulthood.

So in answer to your question, no, for me the guy needs to be sweet, make me laugh and be up for adventure, if he could be tall too that is a bonus, but for me the most important thing I look for in a guy is that he is not a total a$$hole.*

*I am enjoying the irony of using dollar signs as "s" considering the topic.

irish son · 30-11-2015 09:19AM

Canadel wrote: »

Personality not even mentioned once..

Also, how is it more more shallow to care about looks than a person's profession and salary? Surely the opposite it true. Looks and physical attraction are a very important part of choosing a partner I would have thought, along with personality and shared interest.

I was just comparing the percentage size of importance of profession and looks for men and women, of course personality and other factors plays a massive part in both as well.

I just meant men are more shallow looks wise as that is how shallow is normally used.

puppieperson · 05-12-2015 01:39PM

wetlandsboy wrote: »

I was shocked recently to hear a friend's story about his wive's female friends: in their mid/late twenties the narrative was mainly about potential partners' money and job/title. I just can't fathom how potential (male) partners could be viewed by women in such a reductive way. Is this purely a female thing? I'm a professor, earn a very large salary, but would never judge a potential partner on the basis of their job. Yet, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that suggests that a lot of women may see things slightly differently.

"Women have been trying to have it all and do it all. The the reason they are now so obsessed with a man of means is because they are realising that a man who can pay the bills, allows them to be at home being a home maker and rearing the children the old fashioned way. Women are fed up working and now some want to revert o the old way therefore this requires a certain amount of scheming.

Leroy Brown · 05-12-2015 06:46PM

jimgoose wrote: »

What?? A ton of coal and a hundred acres, and blessed silence?

Silence is my best friend.

Azalea · 05-12-2015 06:48PM

puppieperson wrote: »

"Women have been trying to have it all and do it all. The the reason they are now so obsessed with a man of means is because they are realising that a man who can pay the bills, allows them to be at home being a home maker and rearing the children the old fashioned way. Women are fed up working and now some want to revert o the old way therefore this requires a certain amount of scheming.

Huh? Speak for yourself there.

jimgoose · 05-12-2015 11:21PM

Azalea wrote: »

Huh? Speak for yourself there.

You may address me as "Colonel" or "Sir". I believe I've earned it. I don't know what the hell kind of unit you're running here.

05-12-2015 11:24PM

Sir! Yes, Sir!

jimgoose · 05-12-2015 11:26PM

Candie wrote: »

Sir! Yes, Sir!

More fcukan like it. On deck at 0600, high-and-tight. That means we finish at farmer's dinner-time, and go on the lash!

caille · 06-12-2015 03:02AM

This is my perspective (as a woman), I was brought up by an independent hard-working mother, to be independent myself and to have my own money. I was also told, to be happy, that any potential partner should be the same way. Status, land and how much money someone has, were never emphasised, it was more that there should be mutual respect and acceptance of each other's independence and earning abilities.

I think my mother's advice did me a lot of good as when it came to relationships, I looked at what a man could offer me in terms of personality, looks, his view on things, sense of humour etc. I didn't look for earning capacity in the future, what assets he might have.

When I met my husband, I wouldn't have cared about anything like this at all (we were at different stages in life regarding money and work) as I clicked with him on so many levels, I just knew, for me, he was a keeper. You can't plan for that kind of connection with someone, if it happens to you, you are damned damned lucky and if the person doesn't happen to have a great job or assets, it really shouldn't matter. Yes, you can ignore your heart and let your head make a decision but the heart knows best, it always does :-)

Money and Land

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