Overheard on Dublin Bus

Annasopra · 20-11-2015 06:16PM #1

Heard this today on the bus

Passenger; "Did you hear hurricane Barney is coming back?"

Bus driver; "why are all the hurricanes named after men"

Passenger; "I thought they named this one after the purple dinosaur"

Zymurgist · 20-11-2015 06:33PM

Best thing I ever heard on Dublin bus was

"Look at her there with the Marks and Spencer's bag, lettin on like she has money"

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 20-11-2015 06:58PM

Mum to child. Button yer coat

Child. huh?

Mum. Don't say huh, say wah.

ScumLord · 20-11-2015 07:09PM

I haven't really used Dublin bus but I'd assume most conversations are about heroin.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 20-11-2015 07:22PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I haven't really used Dublin bus but I'd assume most conversations are about heroin.

...and stealing stuff.

Sunnyisland · 20-11-2015 07:34PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I haven't really used Dublin bus but I'd assume most conversations are about heroin.

Says the lad from zombie survival :-)

Tell me how · 20-11-2015 07:36PM

Was on the 145 on day and it was stuck in bad traffic.

At a stop a guy in front of me said "I'm not sitting on a bus all day, I'm in a hurry".

He got off, walked 20M down the street and sat in to a taxi which pulled in to the same line of semi-stationary traffic.

lazybones32 · 20-11-2015 07:37PM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Heard this today on the bus

Passenger; "Did you hear hurricane Barney is coming back?"

Bus driver; "why are all the hurricanes named after men"

Passenger; "I thought they named this one after the purple dinosaur"

An American told me that hurricanes were always named female because they're wet and wild when the come and they destroy your car and take half the house when they leave.
I think this is the first storm that has been named using a male name.

Overheard on a bus, from the mouth of Dubs: "Oh!... I didn't think they had McDonalds this far down the Country" We were in Limerick city.

Caovyn Lineah · 20-11-2015 07:43PM

This reminded me of the "overheard in Dublin" book, I must dig it out again.

pajor · 20-11-2015 07:48PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I haven't really used Dublin bus but I'd assume most conversations are about heroin.

Nope. Weed and loan sharks.

"50 quid for a grand ain't half that bad these days wha?"

somuj · 20-11-2015 07:51PM

"Give me your wallet or I knife ya"

Took into a fit of laughing at the stick insect junkie. Stood up to get it, then nutted the fool. Said he was going to sue me.

So glad my tax payed for his free pass.

Annasopra · 20-11-2015 08:23PM

lazybones32 wrote: »

An American told me that hurricanes were always named female because they're wet and wild when the come and they destroy your car and take half the house when they leave.
I think this is the first storm that has been named using a male name.

Overheard on a bus, from the mouth of Dubs: "Oh!... I didn't think they had McDonalds this far down the Country" We were in Limerick city.

Slight difference between a hurricane and a storm

ToddyDoody · 20-11-2015 08:42PM

"dude, watch me **** on this seat"

Banjo String · 20-11-2015 08:45PM

Heard a man telling a woman sat in front of him that she has semen all over the back of her jacket.

When the woman said that he must be mistaken, it was "prob yoghurt or something, but it was definitely not semen" the man told her "it was definitely waken" as he "didn't ejaculate yoghurt"

Dozen Wicked Words · 20-11-2015 08:48PM

Thanks driver.

major bill · 20-11-2015 09:01PM

didnt witness this one but it was a story told to my father by a man he works with involving his son the sons friends and a dwarf on the bus.

Apparently the son was coming home from school and a dwarf got on the bus. one of the sons friends (only 13 or 14 around early 00s)) jumped up off his seat and offered it to the dwarf, The dwarf went mad saying he wasnt disabled and could stand like every other person, all through the bus journey he had the hump, as the dwarf was getting off the bus there was a shout from the back, thick Dublin accent ''aye Grumpy!!!! tell Snow White I was asking for her)

KoolKid · 20-11-2015 09:04PM

Dozen Wicked Words wrote: »

Thanks driver.

X 100000

moc moc a moc · 20-11-2015 09:13PM

ToddyDoody wrote: »

"dude"

Dublin, not California.

DerekDGoldfish · 20-11-2015 09:40PM

I was on a bus a few years ago sitting upstairs, a passenger got on the bus and sat behind me. He started talking on the phone and became obvious the person he was talking to was a drug dealer looking for money. He apologized saying he had been in hospital for the last few days after taking some bad pills.

He agreed to meet the dealer the next day as he couldn't meet him that night as he was going into town to find the guy who sold him the dodgy pills and in his words "If I don't find him I will stab someone who looks like him"

Yakkyda · 20-11-2015 09:42PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I haven't really used Dublin bus but I'd assume most conversations are about heroin.

With a name like that ye probably sold it to them, the voice of experience speaks wah'?

LionelNashe · 20-11-2015 11:25PM

"They wouldn't let Jimmy into Sweetmans; said he was too old"

"What? That's discrimination! Who was the bouncer? Some foreign c**t?"

Collie D · 20-11-2015 11:34PM

Years ago passing the now closed Tayto factory. White smoke coming out of the factory chimney. Little boy sitting opposite me points it out to his mother and asks "Mammy, is that the cloud factory?"

Cute!

not yet · 20-11-2015 11:35PM

Mother with two young childer on the 20b,

Heeoor Hunter pick that soother up, lick it and give it to yore sister Madison....

Canterelle · 20-11-2015 11:37PM

Not on bus but at bus stop. My kid "old lookin road?" Me, no, "old Lucan road".

Los Lobos · 20-11-2015 11:55PM

Ba dum tish

Stheno · 21-11-2015 12:01AM

lazybones32 wrote: »

An American told me that hurricanes were always named female because they're wet and wild when the come and they destroy your car and take half the house when they leave.
I think this is the first storm that has been named using a male name.
.

The Americans have this convention

http://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/storm-names.html

For storms that originate here, we have recently agreed a naming convention from a-z that we will use with the UK

http://www.met.ie/news/display.asp?ID=338

Awaits obligatory "whah? A serious and sensible post"? response :pac:

As for Dublin bus, I just switch on the music, surf the web and ignore everyone around me.

Red Kev · 21-11-2015 02:59AM

lazybones32 wrote: »

An American told me that hurricanes were always named female because they're wet and wild when the come and they destroy your car and take half the house when they leave.
I think this is the first storm that has been named using a male name.

.

Male names have been used since the 1980's.

1986 Hurricane Charlie. Still the most damaging storm ever to hit us.

Yakkyda · 21-11-2015 03:08AM

I was on the 41,on the way to town(around 7,summer) went upstairs.
There was a couple just past the stairs.
Yeah, one of them kind a couples. (shall we say, familiar with... tablets and what not?)

Anywho, they were on the blower... “ye, course we'll do that, honeymoon te the Barbados? "

The ahem" lady " asked me to stop anybody walking past the stairs, as their drug dealer mate said he would pay for the their honeymoon if they ****ed on the bus(one of 25 steps) proceded to implore me to stop any body passing by me so the could fulfill this requirement. Bloke, hand down the bags, herself sliding kacks past her arse. Him wit phone in hand. To prove it...

I wish to God I made it up, but no, it happened.

My stop was blessedy close.

I can't bleach my brain enough.

Whitewinged · 21-11-2015 08:05AM

Not overheard as such but a man of about 60-65 was sat across from me. It looked like he was sketching. He kept looking out from his glasses at me and smiling.

Just before he got off, he looked at me as if to say "your gonna love this" and he handed me the picture. It was a badly sketched portrait of Justin Biebers face.

He said "here I did it for you, take it home with ya". So I said "oh right cheers for that". I mean it was a nice gesture and all but I was about 25 at the time ffs.

Sunnyisland · 21-11-2015 08:17AM

One time

I jumped on a bus to dun laoire, stoppin' off to pick up my guitar,
And a drunk on the bus told me how to get rich.
I was glad we weren't goin' too far.

Annasopra · 21-11-2015 01:14PM

3 teenagers: Hi Anne
Granny; Aw howya lads, what are yas upto
3 teenagers: Ah just heading into shops
Granny; Suppose you're eyeing up all the young ones

....

Granny; Here love see that young lad there he fancies you, him in in the red

....

Granny; Why didnt yas get off and folly them lads
3 teenagers; not going our way

.....

Granny; Bye lads - dont do anything bad but if you do wear something

Overheard on Dublin Bus

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