Why should a man offer a seat to a woman on train/bus?

jimgoose · 20-11-2015 01:21PM

Deleted User wrote: »

If you offer me your seat I will assume I look pregnant.

Then you'll be sorry.

But I'm afeared a' the lady, paw!!

20-11-2015 01:23PM

jimgoose wrote: »

But I'm afeared a' the lady, paw!!

I actually understood that post :pac:

SAMTALK · 20-11-2015 01:26PM

sup_dude wrote: »

But there's a difference between holding a door you are already at for whoever is behind, and giving up your seat just because there's a woman standing.

Nope sorry ...manners is manners. Dont get me wrong I dont expect anybody to give up their seat for me or hold door open for me. I am just saying its nice to see mannerly guestures male or female. I think our society have become so self-obsessed that we are slowly losing what was always part of being Irish meant.

ThinkProgress · 20-11-2015 01:28PM

double post

ThinkProgress · 20-11-2015 01:28PM

I wonder what people would make of a woman sitting on their BF's lap in a crowed area where seats are limited?

My GF does this sometimes. I see it as a practical thing to do, and it helps that she's half my size. (It wouldn't be practical for me to sit on her lap, because i'd probably cut off the blood flow to her feet - lol)

Would some people consider this demeaning to the woman? Or just practical/efficient space saving?

The Backwards Man · 20-11-2015 01:31PM

ThinkProgress wrote: »

I wonder what people would make of a woman sitting on their BF's lap in a crowed area where seats are limited?

My GF does this sometimes. I see it as a practical thing to do, and it helps that she's half my size. (It wouldn't be practical for me to sit on her lap, because i'd probably cut off the blood flow to her feet - lol)

Would some people consider this demeaning to the woman? Or just practical/efficient space saving?

I think it's frowned upon on planes.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 20-11-2015 01:31PM

I'd be like wtf, to be honest.
I'd wonder why she couldn't stand or why he wouldn't let his own girlfriend have the seat

Ave Sodalis · 20-11-2015 01:35PM

SAMTALK wrote:

Nope sorry ...manners is manners. Dont get me wrong I dont expect anybody to give up their seat for me or hold door open for me. I am just saying its nice to see mannerly guestures male or female. I think our society have become so self-obsessed that we are slowly losing what was always part of being Irish meant.

Nope, sorry... manners are manners when they are manners. Manners are not manners when they don't make sense and are just a waste of time, seemingly serving only to fulfill the ego of the people who act them out. I agree it's nice seeing manners. I hate seeing people pointlessly wasting time and energy, especially over me. Getting up for a woman isn't manners in my book. It achieves nothing nor helps nobody. Getting up for someone who can't stand for long is manners.

sadie06 · 20-11-2015 01:36PM

The only time I ever expected a seat to be offered to me was when I was heavily pregnant. Many people think this is just a tiredness/sore back issue for pregnant women, but I actually felt really unsafe standing on public transport on both pregnancies. My sense of balance was way off, and I fell three times while not on transport.

I would not like to be offered a seat just because I am a woman. I do appreciate a door being held open for me, or an offer of lifting heavy items, but these are minor inconveniences for someone compared to standing for a whole bus journey just because I have boobs. No!

ThinkProgress · 20-11-2015 01:41PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'd be like wtf, to be honest.
I'd wonder why she couldn't stand or why he wouldn't let his own girlfriend have the seat

I do in some situations.

But sometimes it seems practical for neither to stand, and we only take up one seat for two people.

Fat Christy · 20-11-2015 01:48PM

Holding the door open for someone is common courtesy. Man, woman or goat, I would always hold the door.

Giving up your seat is different. As many have already stated on this thread, I would only give up my seat for the old, pregnant or infirm. Everyone else can feck off.

SAMTALK · 20-11-2015 01:49PM

sup_dude wrote: »

Manners are not manners when they don't make sense and are just a waste of time, seemingly serving only to fulfill the ego of the people who act them out.

Gosh thats harsh.. I actually feel sorry for men at this stage. They.re damned if they do and damned if they dont. This is our society now. All about time and egos. How sad. Why cant we take things at face value anymore.

seamus · 20-11-2015 01:57PM

Sleepy wrote: »

Using that logic, unless a woman on public transport gives up her seat to a man who's just got on, she's a ****.

I think now everyone is supposed to play musical chairs on public transport, and at every stop the sitters offer their seats to the standers, who then do likewise at the next stop. I mean, it's just common courtesy to offer up your seat, right?

For all of the talk about women being offended by doors being held for them, I have never once experienced this. I have found that some women (a minority, mind) will just walk through the door and say nothing, whereas men will always thank you for it.

Funny story about public transport, a mate broke both arms and got on the Red Line Luas to go to work. He looked around, no seats, so asked a young woman near the doors if she wouldn't mind letting him sit down. She looked him up and down and said, "There's nothing wrong with your legs".

20-11-2015 01:59PM

seamus wrote: »

Funny story about public transport, a mate broke both arms and got on the Red Line Luas to go to work. He looked around, no seats, so asked a young woman near the doors if she wouldn't mind letting him sit down. She looked him up and down and said, "There's nothing wrong with your legs".

What a weapon.

If someone like that asked me for a seat, I would be mortified that I hadn't offered it first.

dissed doc · 20-11-2015 02:04PM

sadie06 wrote: »

I would not like to be offered a seat just because I am a woman.

The situation has arisen, that you may be employed or elected into government office because you are a woman, and the qualifications for the job are less important than your gender.

Would you refuse the seat but take the job?

Alf Veedersane · 20-11-2015 02:06PM

seamus wrote: »

Funny story about public transport, a mate broke both arms and got on the Red Line Luas to go to work. He looked around, no seats, so asked a young woman near the doors if she wouldn't mind letting him sit down. She looked him up and down and said, "There's nothing wrong with your legs".

To be fair, it was the red Line.

He should just be thankful she didn't go through his pockets{/stereotype]

Alf Veedersane · 20-11-2015 02:08PM

dissed doc wrote: »

The situation has arisen, that you may be employed or elected into government office because you are a woman, and the qualifications for the job are less important than your gender.

Would you refuse the seat but take the job?

Is the job Minister for Women?

RobertKK · 20-11-2015 02:09PM

Nothing worse than giving your seat up to a pregnant lady, only to find she is simply fat.

suicide_circus · 20-11-2015 02:10PM

seamus wrote: »

For all of the talk about women being offended by doors being held for them, I have never once experienced this. I have found that some women (a minority, mind) will just walk through the door and say nothing, whereas men will always thank you for it.

Gotta say, this is a really noticeably common phenomenon, it was first pointed out to me by....my mum!

Darkglasses · 20-11-2015 02:11PM

I think it's important for some people to occasionally remind themselves that women aren't all the same person.

colossus-x · 20-11-2015 02:11PM

Is standing up on a bus more difficult physically for a woman than a man all other things being equal? No - obviously. And I'm sure any woman would feel insulted if one suggested otherwise.

Any gender should give up a seat to either gender if one observed a reason to do so.

Once I twisted my ankle very badly in London and hopped literally onto a bus and sat on the one available seat by the front door and luggage rack. The following stop a group of old age pensioners got on most of them left standing looking around tutt tutting and giving me dirty looks as I was seated and didn't offer my seat. Felt very akward. Got to my stop and hoped on one foot off the bus which wasn't easy. I looked back and could see all the oap's starting at me mouths agape looking really embarrassed at what they just realised.

Moral of the story is you never know why someone may not give up a seat.

Gatling · 20-11-2015 02:17PM

The worse part is having a lady standing beside you expecting the man to give up his seat for no reason other than she expects it ,

everlast75 · 20-11-2015 02:19PM

Great question OP - it has made me question why I do...

Basically, I was brought up to have good manners, hold doors open for people, help if someone looks like they in difficulty, say please and thank you, be polite and part of it all, somewhere in the mix, was offering up my seat to someone older than me or indeed any lady.

Now that I think of it, it may be considered by some to be offensive/patronising but to be frank, there are far too many people around now (it would appear) who actively seek out scenarios in which to be offended.

I have never had any person to whom I've offered a seat take offence. If they did, I, along with anyone else that saw me offering the seat up and their subsequent reaction, would be embarrassed for them. Those type of people you will find are invariably miserable all of the time. I refuse to be dragged down to that level.

lertsnim · 20-11-2015 02:58PM

Heavily pregnant or frail might get my seat. Everybody else has no chance.

Mesrine65 · 20-11-2015 03:01PM

Elderly, pregnant or infirmed...everyone else can fuck off :eek:

Eugene Norman · 20-11-2015 03:12PM

I generally won't get up except for obviously frail octogenarians. At rush hour you don't get many. Pensioners travel, understandably, off peak.

What I do do is not sit down if there are seats opening up even if I am close to one. I let women, older people and the tired take them - and I travel a long distance.

NachoBusiness · 20-11-2015 03:15PM

On the windows beside the double seats which face each other on the Luas there are stickers with the silhouette of two adults and two kids aged around 8 or 9 and it reads, 'Please Give Seats To Families' or something similar. I'm at home now so can't check. I might later. I might give my seat to a family with a toddler or three, sure, but not a chance I'd get up just so the bloody Griswolds could sit down.

rainbow kirby · 20-11-2015 03:23PM

RobertKK wrote: »

Nothing worse than giving your seat up to a pregnant lady, only to find she is simply fat.

There's a pretty good solution to this in London :pac:

I'm pregnant at the moment and have an extremely crowded tube commute to work. I do use a badge, I probably get a seat about 40-50% of the time in the morning and the vast majority of the time in the evening. Men over 30 tend to be the most generous, overweight young women the least.

Wabbit Ears · 20-11-2015 03:46PM

Whatever you do NEVER offer a seat to a fatty.

If you are SURE she's pregnant, you are on safe ground, offer away, but if its even 70/30, Just don't.

or do, if you like being mean and ruining a fattys day/week/month.

ALiasEX · 20-11-2015 06:14PM

Don't hit girls
Give a woman your seat
Hold the door for women

As long as I can remember I have thought all the above to be equally bull****.

Why should a man offer a seat to a woman on train/bus?

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