My elderly widowed father was scammed!

Sir Osis of Liver. · 31-10-2015 05:44PM

Why not get siblings 1 or 2 to slip some crushed up horn pills into his Complan and invite the EU National around.
See what happens.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 05:44PM

Ah no doubt about it myself and my siblings are looking after the inheritance. We want the house. Better we did then some stranger.
And yeah I probably lied to my dad but the Gardai seemed more interested in getting her info then me scaring my dad.
My conscience is clear!

31-10-2015 05:46PM

koutoubia wrote: »

Ah no doubt about it myself and my siblings are looking after the inheritance. We want the house. Better we did then some stranger.

No it's not better.

Nor is it worse.

It's his house to do with as he decides. Objectively, there is no better or worse decision. If he wants to put it all on the 3.30 at Doncaster, that's also his right.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 05:48PM

And I explained that to him. Its his ti do what he likes. And the family has to respect that.

31-10-2015 05:55PM

koutoubia wrote: »

And I explained that to him. Its his ti do what he likes. And the family has to respect that.

Why the scare tactics and the misinformation?

That's not respect.

You want the house. And that's fair enough. It wouldn't be for me but I could understand it. But don't fool yourself into thinking your priority is respecting his wishes, your priority is protecting your inheritance.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 05:55PM

Deleted User wrote:

No it's not better.

Deleted User wrote:

Nor is it worse.

Its worse in my eyes and the eyes of my siblings.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 05:59PM

Collie D wrote:

So dad gets a lodger who volunteers at local nursing home and gives you a cheery hello. You follow her in your car and more or less swipe her passport/personal effects/whatever.

We didn't Rob anything. Gardai took them.

Collie D wrote:

What exactly is the scam? I know who sounds like the wrongdoer in your post and it's not the "EU national" - whatever that is

Gardai and other agencies who look after the aged will disagree.
As I said. Gardai are involved and gave us advice.
We took that advice.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 06:04PM

Deleted User wrote:

That's not respect.

Deleted User wrote:

Why the scare tactics and the misinformation?

Deleted User wrote:

You want the house. And that's fair enough. It wouldn't be for me but I could understand it. But don't fool yourself into thinking your priority is respecting his wishes, your priority is protecting your inheritance.

No . My priority was/is protecting my father and his wishes.
As I said ,twice now, I explained to him I respected his decisions.
But we were given advice on what to do by people who know how this works and how these people operate. I took that advice and ran with it.
No regrets.
And I would do it Again in the morning.
No regrets.

Annasopra · 31-10-2015 06:07PM

Del2005 wrote: »

So dad got a girlfriend and the kids saw their inheritance being spent so broke them up. OP you lied to your Dad about licencee rights, which are essentially none. If he was having fun what was wrong with the relationship?

Well

It kind of depends really. If the woman was a lodger she wouldn't have rights on the house. If they were in a relationship then yes she would.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/cohabiting_couples/rights_of_unmarried_couples.html

31-10-2015 06:07PM

koutoubia wrote: »

No . My priority was/is protecting my father and his wishes.
As I said ,twice now, I explained to him I respected his decisions.
But we were given advice on what to do by people who know how this works and how these people operate. I took that advice and ran with it.
No regrets.
And I would do it Again in the morning.
No regrets.

Of course you would, to protect your inheritance. I don't doubt that for a second.

But the info you gave him was wildly inaccurate and designed to scare him.

31-10-2015 06:12PM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Well

It kind of depends really. If the woman was a lodger she wouldn't have rights on the house. If they were in a relationship then yes she would.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/cohabiting_couples/rights_of_unmarried_couples.html

There's a lot more to it then that, for example they would have had to be in a relationship for 5 years, the Courts would enquire as to her contribution to the cost of the house etc.

Del2005 · 31-10-2015 06:20PM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Well

It kind of depends really. If the woman was a lodger she wouldn't have rights on the house. If they were in a relationship then yes she would.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/cohabiting_couples/rights_of_unmarried_couples.html

The OP lied about licencee rights not civil partnership rights. If an elderly widower gets some joy in later life the OP should have brought the information you posted not tell fibs to protect their inheritance.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 06:20PM

@conor74
So if the Gardai (a detective) told you that you have to get her out of the house.
If the HSE told you that you have to get her out of the house.
If the housing officer in the UNI told you have to get her out of the house you would put your moral guidance about lie-ing ahead of all that advice?
If so then I am happy for you.
But I didnt and I wont.

Son Of A Vidic · 31-10-2015 06:21PM

koutoubia wrote: »

arayess wrote: »

i had my doubts about the story but now I'm confused.
How do you know the inner workings of your fathers knob?
seriously

Doctors told us.

Sorry OP, as a medical person I am failing to identity any situation in which one would need to discuss a Father's erectile dysfunction with his children. And breach important patient/client confidentially while doing so. So I'm calling horse shít on this one.

Del2005 · 31-10-2015 06:22PM

koutoubia wrote: »

@conor74
So if the Gardai (a detective) told you that you have to get her out of the house.
If the HSE told you that you have to get her out of the house.
If the housing officer in the UNI told you have to get her out of the house you would put your moral guidance about lie-ing ahead of all that advice?
If so then I am happy for you.
But I didnt and I wont.

Did any of these people talk to your Dad? When told one side of a story a lot of people give the answer that the person asking the question wants to hear.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 06:23PM

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Sorry OP, as a medical person I am failing to identity any situation in which one would need to discuss a Father's erectile dysfunction with his children. And breach important patient/client confidentially while doing so. So I'm calling horse shít on this one.

Happy for ya.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 06:25PM

Del2005 wrote: »

Did any of these people talk to your Dad? When told one side of a story a lot of people give the answer that the person asking the question wants to hear.

No. He didnt beacuse when an appointment was set up to meet with the HSE it was one of the appointments he missed as he was out with the scammer.

31-10-2015 06:27PM

koutoubia wrote: »

No. He didnt beacuse when an appointment was set up to meet with the HSE it was one of the appointments he missed as he was out with the scammer.

In all the talk about the value of the house and your scare tactics about her "rights", you omit one point.

When he was with this person, was he happy?

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 06:30PM

Look lads and lasses of AH.
I knew what I was at when posting in here.
I expected grief,slagging etc.
Personally I dont really care whether you approve whether I lied to my father etc.
My siblings and I got advice. acted on it.
End of.
I hope none of you are put in the position we were and its happening somewhere to someone else.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 06:33PM

Deleted User wrote: »

In all the talk about the value of the house and your scare tactics about her "rights", you omit one point.

When he was with this person, was he happy?

That is a question I cant honestly answer as my father refused to talk about her.

evolving_doors · 31-10-2015 07:56PM

koutoubia wrote: »

Look lads and lasses of AH.
I knew what I was at when posting in here.
I expected grief,slagging etc.
Personally I dont really care whether you approve whether I lied to my father etc.
My siblings and I got advice. acted on it.
End of.
I hope none of you are put in the position we were and its happening somewhere to someone else.

Ok thanks,

so... what was the advice ?

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 08:00PM

koutoubia wrote: »

@conor74
So if the Gardai (a detective) told you that you have to get her out of the house.
If the HSE told you that you have to get her out of the house.
If the housing officer in the UNI told you have to get her out of the house you would put your moral guidance about lie-ing ahead of all that advice?
If so then I am happy for you.
But I didnt and I wont.

Gebgbegb wrote: »

Ok thanks,

so... what was the advice ?

That was the advice.

lanos · 31-10-2015 08:30PM

koutoubia wrote: »

Look lads and lasses of AH.
I knew what I was at when posting in here.
I expected grief,slagging etc.
Personally I dont really care whether you approve whether I lied to my father etc.
My siblings and I got advice. acted on it.
End of.
I hope none of you are put in the position we were and its happening somewhere to someone else.

I think you handled the whole situation perfectly.
Old people have terrible judgement and need protecting.
The excuse that it gives him some happiness is horse****.
A bit of short term happiness does not give him the moral
right to crap on the feelings of his family who will be left to pick up the pieces

Del2005 · 31-10-2015 08:41PM

koutoubia wrote: »

Look lads and lasses of AH.
I knew what I was at when posting in here.
I expected grief,slagging etc.
Personally I dont really care whether you approve whether I lied to my father etc.
My siblings and I got advice. acted on it.
End of.
I hope none of you are put in the position we were and its happening somewhere to someone else.

I'm sure that he'll enjoy the cold winter alone instead of spending it with a woman. If he's mentally competent what business of yours is it how he spends his hard earned money? But you and your siblings will definitely enjoy the fight over the house when he's gone.

Your Dad was definitely scammed, but it wasn't by the woman.

koutoubia · 31-10-2015 08:52PM

Del2005 wrote: »

I'm sure that he'll enjoy the cold winter alone instead of spending it with a woman. If he's mentally competent what business of yours is it how he spends his hard earned money? But you and your siblings will definitely enjoy the fight over the house when he's gone.

Your Dad was definitely scammed, but it wasn't by the woman.

He wont spend it alone.Never has.
He has and always had plenty of visitors and invites to family and friends.
As regards to accusing me and my family of scamming my father....well I am glad you have your opinion but it means **** all to me.

pablo128 · 31-10-2015 08:58PM

Del2005 wrote: »

I'm sure that he'll enjoy the cold winter alone instead of spending it with a woman. If he's mentally competent what business of yours is it how he spends his hard earned money? But you and your siblings will definitely enjoy the fight over the house when he's gone.

Your Dad was definitely scammed, but it wasn't by the woman.

Why would the woman claim to be a student who had serious trouble finding accommodation, when it was clearly a lie? Why are you ignoring these facts?
There are plenty of scammers in this world. Ireland got a big wake up call back when all the immigrants from around the world flooded over here.

endacl · 31-10-2015 09:03PM

pablo128 wrote: »

Why would the woman claim to be a student who had serious trouble finding accommodation, when it was clearly a lie? Why are you ignoring these facts?
There are plenty of scammers in this world. Ireland got a big wake up call back when all the immigrants from around the world flooded over here.

You're dead right. If I recall correctly, we never had scammers in Ireland before that. Which immigrants? I presume we're talking about the Book of Invasions? The tuatha de dannann? The Fir Bolga were the only straight up honest feckers ever to have lived here.

The Backwards Man · 31-10-2015 09:08PM

endacl wrote: »

You're dead right. If I recall correctly, we never had scammers in Ireland before that. Which immigrants? I presume we're talking about the Book of Invasions? The tuatha de dannann? The Fir Bolga were the only straight up honest feckers ever to have lived here.

The Irish elk would have something to say about that. If they weren't all dead

Rackstar · 31-10-2015 09:21PM

OP what you did sounds crazy.

What was the scam?

31-10-2015 09:25PM

pablo128 wrote: »

Why would the woman claim to be a student who had serious trouble finding accommodation, when it was clearly a lie? Why are you ignoring these facts?
There are plenty of scammers in this world. Ireland got a big wake up call back when all the immigrants from around the world flooded over here.

Irish people, including children, have been circling around old people eying up their property since the dawn of time. Live in a rural area and know of two women who mske a beeline for single elderly farmers, ferrying them around, cooking, ending up with the farm, 1 of them has about 4 farms now.

My elderly widowed father was scammed!

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