Time travel to 1 AD

Chancer3001 · 23-10-2015 05:49PM #1

Random thought I've been mulling over.

One of my old teachers used to tell us that if we time travelled back to the time of Jesus , we'd automatically be the greatest scientist, doctor, mathematician etc on the planet. At the time I thought yeah, sure I know LOADS. Education!!

Don't know how it popped into my head again lately. But I was thinking what PRACTICAL advice could I give them??

Sure I could tell them some stuff about space. Maybe a bit of hygiene. A bit about geography. But they'd listen for 10 minutes then go back to trying to eat.

But I couldn't invent anything for them because I wouldn't be able to make it. I don't know enough about agriculture to help them out. I'd know about gunpowder but I wouldn't know how to actually make it. I'd know about antibiotics but again, can't make them. Would we be any use at all?

So what practical advice could We actually give them?

23-10-2015 05:51PM

Don't shít upstream!

Mesrine65 · 23-10-2015 05:55PM

Watch out for those Roman fuckers :eek:

Muahahaha · 23-10-2015 05:59PM

Tell them to dump that religion crap, that would have been the best practical advice you could have given. If they'd have known that we wouldn't have had the Dark Ages and humanity might be 500 years ahead of where it is now

kneemos · 23-10-2015 06:02PM

Tell em notin.

Cnuts.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 23-10-2015 06:03PM

1992 -Gravd National - Party Politics. Put the house on it.

The Backwards Man · 23-10-2015 06:07PM

You could invent a calendar that would make the year 1AD

lertsnim · 23-10-2015 06:09PM

You'd be arrested and crucified more than likely

namloc1980 · 23-10-2015 06:11PM

You'd probably be executed within days of arrival for witchcraft, heresy, being crazy etc.

Agricola · 23-10-2015 06:21PM

Bring back the antibiotics with you, cure afew chest infections. Have your own religion when you return to 2015 for the second coming of Chancer, blessed be his name.

Zebra3 · 23-10-2015 06:22PM

Jesus didn't exist so no "Time of Jesus".

Agricola · 23-10-2015 06:29PM

Zebra3 wrote: »

Jesus didn't exist so no "Time of Jesus".

You may deny him, but he still loves you!

SEPT 23 1989 · 23-10-2015 07:04PM

I would tell them nothing just spend my time drinking feasting and ravaging their women maybe the odd drunken outburst about flying machines and mobile phones and future events that I can't remember any of the dates of

Son Of A Vidic · 23-10-2015 07:04PM

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Random thought I've been mulling over.

One of my old teachers used to tell us that if we time travelled back to the time of Jesus , we'd automatically be the greatest scientist, doctor, mathematician etc on the planet.

Assuming that you'd be reliant on the tools available at the time. Then you would actually need to have knowledge and possess the ability to demonstrate and teach it. Rather than misdiagnosing oneself or others via Google, or needing a calculator to calculate. Yes we all know that the Earth isn't flat, but how many of us could produce and rationalise the formula to prove it to skeptics back in 1 AD? Fúck all is the answer.

arayess · 23-10-2015 07:07PM

Zebra3 wrote: »

Jesus didn't exist so no "Time of Jesus".

i think you should re-examine your anti-jesus stance .
Jesus did exist at that time, it's proven fairly conclusively.

whether he was the jesus of our religious fantasies or not remains to be seen.

seamus · 23-10-2015 07:08PM

Agricola wrote: »

You may deny him, but he still loves you!

A bit of a Jimmy Saville, was he?

Rabo Karabekian · 23-10-2015 07:17PM

Whatever you're going to tell them will be pretty pointless unless you do a crash course in Latin or whatever they're speaking where you land.

And even if you do learn Latin, I'll bet we've been pronouncing it wrong so it'll do you **** all good.

Agricola · 23-10-2015 07:19PM

seamus wrote: »

A bit of a Jimmy Saville, was he?

According to Mark

SEPT 23 1989 · 23-10-2015 07:20PM

Rabo Karabekian wrote: »

Whatever you're going to tell them will be pretty pointless unless you do a crash course in Latin or whatever they're speaking where you land.

And even if you do learn Latin, I'll bet we've been pronouncing it wrong so it'll do you **** all good.

Just speak to them in a slower and louder voice

biko · 23-10-2015 07:20PM

Print this out and carry with you
http://i.imgur.com/2psNjiL.png

questionmark? · 23-10-2015 07:48PM

Zebra3 wrote: »

Jesus didn't exist so no "Time of Jesus".

All the evidence suggests that he did exist. Now wheter he was the son of God, could produce fish and bread like a factory for the hungry is the part that's open for debate.

Mother Brain · 23-10-2015 07:48PM

The romans were actually pretty class water engineers. Built amazing aqueducts that required minute incremental changes in elevation over the topography leading into the city.

I would impart the basic knowledge of steam power and how water can be used to power turbines etc. It would be accessible and also understandable to them.

Using a lemon, some copper stretched into a wire and some zinc (which was known of to the romans) you could produce a natural battery. They had magnets in those days in the form of lodestones and naturally occurring magnetic material. From that it's not a huge leap to building a simple electrical brush based motor using a spinning magnet and the natural battery.

I know that silicon is extremely common in the earths crust and it is fairly easy to purify into a baseline usable form for use in a transistor potentially, though iI would have to experiment with it in physical terms to see if I could actually extract it in the first place from sandstone or quartz or whatever. Likely not in fairness. That would be about my limits I suppose.

I could potentially build a radio using the battery and the transistor, though there would be no decent stations so..

Tell them about lead poisoning...

kingchess · 23-10-2015 08:16PM

Yeah-was thinking along the same line as Mother Brain,and introduce them to the power of steam engines.plenty of smart guys used to working with copper etc back then and maybe ,between us, we could knock out a small train??

A2LUE42 · 23-10-2015 08:19PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVxOb8-d7Ic

Iwasfrozen · 23-10-2015 08:26PM

Muahahaha wrote: »

Tell them to dump that religion crap, that would have been the best practical advice you could have given. If they'd have known that we wouldn't have had the Dark Ages and humanity might be 500 years ahead of where it is now

Utter utter tosh...

Schwiiing · 23-10-2015 08:28PM

Muahahaha wrote: »

Tell them to dump that religion crap, that would have been the best practical advice you could have given. If they'd have known that we wouldn't have had the Dark Ages and humanity might be 500 years ahead of where it is now

Try 1500 years.

cerastes · 23-10-2015 08:47PM

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

I would tell them nothing just spend my time drinking feasting and ravaging their women maybe the odd drunken outburst about flying machines and mobile phones and future events that I can't remember any of the dates of

Probably be burned at a stake o nailed to one, hang on maybe the op is, jhc!?

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Assuming that you'd be reliant on the tools available at the time. Then you would actually need to have knowledge and possess the ability to demonstrate and teach it. Rather than misdiagnosing oneself or others via Google, or needing a calculator to calculate. Yes we all know that the Earth isn't flat, but how many of us could produce and rationalise the formula to prove it to skeptics back in 1 AD? Fúck all is the answer.

The Egyptians already knew and proved the diameter of the earth very close to the real value long before this, Babylonians and others had already understanding of the movement of celestial bodies.

arayess wrote: »

i think you should re-examine your anti-jesus stance .
Jesus did exist at that time, it's proven fairly conclusively.

whether he was the jesus of our religious fantasies or not remains to be seen.

It has been proven? What? Do you mean in the bible or something like that? I'd say whatever it is is far from conclusive and probably fairly thin on anything conclusive.

Mother Brain wrote: »

The romans were actually pretty class water engineers. Built amazing aqueducts that required minute incremental changes in elevation over the topography leading into the city.

I would impart the basic knowledge of steam power and how water can be used to power turbines etc. It would be accessible and also understandable to them.

Using a lemon, some copper stretched into a wire and some zinc (which was known of to the romans) you could produce a natural battery. They had magnets in those days in the form of lodestones and naturally occurring magnetic material. From that it's not a huge leap to building a simple electrical brush based motor using a spinning magnet and the natural battery.

I know that silicon is extremely common in the earths crust and it is fairly easy to purify into a baseline usable form for use in a transistor potentially, though iI would have to experiment with it in physical terms to see if I could actually extract it in the first place from sandstone or quartz or whatever. Likely not in fairness. That would be about my limits I suppose.

I could potentially build a radio using the battery and the transistor, though there would be no decent stations so..

Tell them about lead poisoning...

You could make transistors? From a bit of sand 😕😂
You must be a genius, you'd need to not go hungry so would require a way back to get a bite to eat or might starve before you get to explain this genius. Romans were already aware of lodestones and in use for navigation I believe.
Where did you get the brushes for your motor?
I suggest starting with Aramaic, bloody Romans, what did they ever do for us? Apart from the aqueducts, besides that.

Might be an idea not to eh interfer with things,you might be your own great great great great, you get the picture.

Mother Brain · 23-10-2015 08:51PM

cerastes wrote: »

You could make transistors? From a bit of sand 😕😂
You must be a genius, you'd need to not go hungry so would require a way back to get a bite to eat or might starve before you get to explain this genius. Romans were already aware of lodestones and in use for navigation I believe.
Where did you get the brushes for your motor?
I suggest starting with Aramaic, bloody Romans, what did they ever do for us? Apart from the aqueducts, besides that.

Might be an idea not to eh interfer with things,you might be your own great great great great, you get the picture.

Tis the power of the imagination my friend!

cerastes · 23-10-2015 09:27PM

Mother Brain wrote: »

Tis the power of the imagination my friend!

I'm with you on that &#55357;&#56839; amen brother.
You could drink of his blood and eat of his body, you wouldn't go hungry or thirsty then.

Pink Fairy · 23-10-2015 09:30PM

Unless you spoke Hebrew or Aramaic nobody would understand you for a start

diomed · 23-10-2015 09:37PM

I was going to suggest wowing them with trigonometry until I found out Euclid and Pythagoras were hundreds of years BC.
Tbh I'd be asking them for information.

Time travel to 1 AD

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