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How polite are you? Do you think it's something to be valued?

  • 23-10-2015 01:25AM
    #1
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057512045

    Following on from that thread, how polite are you in your interactions with people every day?
    Do you think it's important?

    I work as a contractor/consultant, so in terms of work I have fairly tight constraints initially in terms of what I can do/say, but I love building up relationships and with long term customers getting to know them and their environment, and in some situations almost being like a member of staff.

    You know the way you go for a coffee in the morning and just chat?

    For me that's a badge of merit.

    But in terms of those others who work in retail how do you treat people?
    I thank my bus driver (some of whom grunt, some of whom chat away), the person who serves me coffee, basically anyone who provides me with a service.

    If they do it well, I'll tip.

    If they do it really well, I'll ask for their manager even on the phone and compliment them.

    Would you?


Comments

  • #2
    wadacrack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,172 ✭✭✭wadacrack


    of course its something to be valued ffs stupid question:rolleyes:


  • #3
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    wadacrack wrote: »
    of course its something to be valued ffs stupid question:rolleyes:

    not according to some on the thread i quoted, who have a serious complex that they are paying anyway


  • #4
    DivingDuck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,394 ✭✭✭DivingDuck


    wadacrack wrote: »
    of course its something to be valued ffs stupid question:rolleyes:

    That wasn't very polite...


  • #5
    KungPao
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,796 ✭✭✭KungPao


    wadacrack wrote: »
    of course its something to be valued ffs stupid question:rolleyes:
    Is this an "ironic" joke?


  • #6
    NintendoGirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36 ✭NintendoGirl


    I think it is to be valued. Its nice to be nice, and people remember you for it.
    Makes the world a little bit nicer.


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  • #7
    Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire


    I treat people how I'd like to be treated. I find a lot of what is considered polite to be superficial... I don't want someone I don't know telling me they hope I have a great day, and I don't expect people to smile for me if they're having a shít day. I don't need a cashier to thank me for shopping where they work.

    I do value people putting their emotions on hold, taking a deep breath and being diplomatic and reasonable rather than going into hysterics though. When I did tech support, there were always a few people who you could tell were extremely frustrated and angry, who were keeping a lid on it for the sake of not taking it out on me. It takes much more to do that, than throwing around a bunch of words you don't mean.


  • #8
    mud
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭mud


    I'm polite most of the time but I have had my moments when people are overly rude to me. It's gotten me into trouble but I'm not going to smile and nod when I'm being treated like some kind of dickhead by some kind of dickhead! :p


  • #9
    wil
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,188 ✭✭✭wil


    Stheno wrote: »
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057512045

    Following on from that thread, how polite are you in your interactions with people every day?
    Do you think it's important?

    I work as a contractor/consultant, so in terms of work I have fairly tight constraints initially in terms of what I can do/say, but I love building up relationships and with long term customers getting to know them and their environment, and in some situations almost being like a member of staff.

    You know the way you go for a coffee in the morning and just chat?

    For me that's a badge of merit.

    But in terms of those others who work in retail how do you treat people?
    I thank my bus driver (some of whom grunt, some of whom chat away), the person who serves me coffee, basically anyone who provides me with a service.

    If they do it well, I'll tip.

    If they do it really well, I'll ask for their manager even on the phone and compliment them.

    Would you?
    "Please can I speak to your manager" is rarely the start to a polite conversation.

    But yes, a simple thank you should be minimum standard for anyone who assists you whatever the situation.


  • #10
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,115 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire wrote: »
    Words

    Sir, allow me, if you will, to compliment you on having chosen one of boards.ie's most wonderful monikers.


  • #11
    FloatingVoter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,133 ✭✭✭FloatingVoter


    Junkyard Tom wrote: »
    Sir, allow me, if you will, to compliment you on having chosen one of boards.ie's most wonderful monikers.

    But will he remember it when drunk and stoned as all AH vets must from time to time ?


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  • #12
    MarkAnthony
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭MarkAnthony


    Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire wrote: »
    I treat people how I'd like to be treated. I find a lot of what is considered polite to be superficial... I don't want someone I don't know telling me they hope I have a great day, and I don't expect people to smile for me if they're having a shít day. I don't need a cashier to thank me for shopping where they work.

    I do value people putting their emotions on hold, taking a deep breath and being diplomatic and reasonable rather than going into hysterics though. When I did tech support, there were always a few people who you could tell were extremely frustrated and angry, who were keeping a lid on it for the sake of not taking it out on me. It takes much more to do that, than throwing around a bunch of words you don't mean.

    Politeness has to be borne out of sincerity. I also treat people as I'd like to be treated. Please and Thank You go along way, I do tend to miss the please in certain circumstances, I actually had it 'trained' out of me but there we go.

    A hearty cya, ta ta or whatever goes over much better than 'have a nice day' or some such American bollocks but it's nice to be nice. I see no reason for being rude in any situation, if things do get away from me which they do from time to time, it's not a sign of weakness to apologise.


  • #13
    Permabear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 38,989 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


  • #14
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Yes I do my best to be polite to others in all aspects of my life, the majority of times it gets a positive feel good response, but sometimes it gets thrown back at you, with some people taking your politeness as a weakness.


  • #15
    colossus-x
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,202 ✭✭✭colossus-x


    Stheno wrote: »
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057512045

    in some situations almost being like a member of staff.
    For me that's a badge of merit.

    how do you treat people?
    my bus driver the person who serves me coffee, basically anyone who provides me with a service.

    Would you?

    I can't believe that you think your behavior is somehow special. Who goes round being totally obnoxious and rude to people every day. There are people like that but to suggest that you've somehow got a badge of honor for acting civilly is just silly.


  • #16
    Menas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Menas


    NintendoGirl wrote: »
    I think it is to be valued. Its nice to be nice, and people remember you for it.
    Makes the world a little bit nicer.

    Exactly...and it is no effort at all to be polite -so why not?


  • #17
    Kolido
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,902 ✭✭✭✭Kolido


    Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire wrote: »
    I treat people how I'd like to be treated. I find a lot of what is considered polite to be superficial... I don't want someone I don't know telling me they hope I have a great day, and I don't expect people to smile for me if they're having a shít day. I don't need a cashier to thank me for shopping where they work.

    I do value people putting their emotions on hold, taking a deep breath and being diplomatic and reasonable rather than going into hysterics though. When I did tech support, there were always a few people who you could tell were extremely frustrated and angry, who were keeping a lid on it for the sake of not taking it out on me. It takes much more to do that, than throwing around a bunch of words you don't mean.

    The problem with this though is not everyone likes to be treated like you.


  • #18
    valoren
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,706 ✭✭✭valoren


    Baseline interaction is to treat people with manners and with respect.
    But if you're being a boorish prick then politeness and respect is gone immediately.


  • #19
    AudreyHepburn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭AudreyHepburn


    Of course it's something to be valued.....there is no excuse for not being polite and having good manners.

    Being rude and snide and stuck up will get you nowhere in life and will endear no-one to you.


  • #20
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    I'm always polite. If someone's in a good or neutral mood, then they'll reciprocate.

    But I'll also still be polite to someone who's being rude (unless they really push me). It's the worst thing for them, as if you get rude or angry they feel they have an excuse to really let loose.
    But staying polite and civil really frustrates them as it blocks that route and really holds up how rude they're being by contrast (which they might become aware of unless they're irredeemable boors).


  • #21
    Birneybau
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,450 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    I am polite, yes, but sometimes I just think 'Why, Why the fcuk am I being polite when most people these days are just solipsistic twats?'

    Take yesterday for example, hold door open, 5 people exiting my office block, not a word of thanks from any fecking one of them.

    Walking home, guy cuts right in front of me, I inadvertently walloped him.

    Further on, guy comes flying around blind corner, knocks me spinning.

    At that point I came out and said 'W@nker' to him.

    So, I try but it gets harder every day.


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  • #22
    Mother Brain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 255 ✭✭Mother Brain


    In real life I am relentlessly polite.

    The kind of stifling protestant politeness that frequently will have me doing things or acting in a way that actually inconveniences me in order to maintain politeness. (though I'm not actually protestant)

    I am also a rather angry individual though internally. As a flawed and frankly at times cowardly human being though, it sometimes happens that I will occasionally allow the cracks to show when prodded on the web as it is simply so much easier to release inner frustrations from behind a screen and to react in a way that I wouldn't in real life.

    I do honestly try my best to reign it in as much as possible as I intensely dislike this facet of my personality, but I do occasionally slip up.

    On the plus side though, if ever it comes to pass that I end up insulting or aggravating anyone on here, you can take some small comfort from the knowledge that at least I will be absolutely wracked with guilt after the fact... so there's that at least!


  • #23
    Medusa22
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,400 ✭✭✭Medusa22


    I am usually very polite to people, and I often have people tell me how polite I am. I always thank someone for their service or help and I will always say please etc. I would never lose my temper with someone working in retail or the service industry etc, and as I have worked as a receptionist, I know how much it is valued when customers are polite and co-operative.

    Sometimes I am annoyed or frustrated about something, but I won't take that out on the staff, as it is usually not their fault at all. I find that most people are polite and friendly too, and occasionally I do come across an arsehole, or several arseholes in one day if I'm unfortunate, and then I do feel like ''my god, people are such arseholes'', but really I'm just forgetting about all of the people who have been perfectly nice.

    I think there was just one time that I was dealing with Eircom after I'd moved and I'd had so many problems and difficulties and misunderstandings with them that I did eventually have a melt down but I actually just started crying, much to my own embarrassment, so I wasn't exactly ranting on the phone, I still felt sorry for the poor guy dealing with me :pac:


  • #24
    Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire


    Kolido wrote: »
    The problem with this though is not everyone likes to be treated like you.
    Well tough shít for them. I guess they can write me a strongly-worded letter and seal the envelope with their tears.


  • #25
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    It's nice to be nice.


  • #26
    Mother Brain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 255 ✭✭Mother Brain


    Medusa22 wrote: »
    I am usually very polite to people, and I often have people tell me how polite I am. I always thank someone for their service or help and I will always say please etc. I would never lose my temper with someone working in retail or the service industry etc, and as I have worked as a receptionist, I know how much it is valued when customers are polite and co-operative.

    Sometimes I am annoyed or frustrated about something, but I won't take that out on the staff, as it is usually not their fault at all. I find that most people are polite and friendly too, and occasionally I do come across an arsehole, or several arseholes in one day if I'm unfortunate, and then I do feel like ''my god, people are such arseholes'', but really I'm just forgetting about all of the people who have been perfectly nice.

    I think there was just one time that I was dealing with Eircom after I'd moved and I'd had so many problems and difficulties and misunderstandings with them that I did eventually have a melt down but I actually just started crying, much to my own embarrassment, so I wasn't exactly ranting on the phone, I still felt sorry for the poor guy dealing with me :pac:

    Over the phone with any sort of customer service is another danger zone for me too now that you mention it! :o


  • #27
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    realies wrote: »
    Yes I do my best to be polite to others in all aspects of my life, the majority of times it gets a positive feel good response, but sometimes it gets thrown back at you, with some people taking your politeness as a weakness.

    That's their weakness, not yours. Just be glad you don't have a life where you're measuring others weakness or strength as though it's a factor in daily interaction.
    Birneybau wrote: »
    I am polite, yes, but sometimes I just think 'Why, Why the fcuk am I being polite when most people these days are just solipsistic twats?'

    Most people are fine, don't let the upstarts get to you. :)

    I'm always polite and I expect it in return.

    In the US, I used to be a little irritated at the Have a nice day! and Hello, how are you? stuff, but then I went to an Eastern European country for a few weeks and by the time I left I'd had my change all but thrown at me on a daily basis, was met with annoyed grunts whenever I asked hotel Reception a question, and encountered unsmiling, hostile and outright rude waiting staff everywhere, and I would have traded it all in spades for a smile and polite nicety.

    It's easy to despise it when you get too much of it, but given a choice between the two, I'll take smiles and good wishes, thanks.


  • #28
    Azalea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭Azalea


    The King of Moo wrote: »
    I'm always polite. If someone's in a good or neutral mood, then they'll reciprocate.

    But I'll also still be polite to someone who's being rude (unless they really push me). It's the worst thing for them, as if you get rude or angry they feel they have an excuse to really let loose.
    But staying polite and civil really frustrates them as it blocks that route and really holds up how rude they're being by contrast (which they might become aware of unless they're irredeemable boors).
    I'm the same - might not be really "nice" but remain polite. I'll avoid confrontation and negativity towards people as much as I can (although I have a limit).
    That "Have a good day" stuff depends on its delivery - it can regularly be well-meaning in fairness.


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