What age would you like to have children?

Shenshen · 18-10-2015 01:10PM

I would have liked it to have been in my late 30s.
I'm in my early 40s now, and I don't think it'll happen any more. Not a big thing, at the end of the day, as I originally (before meeting my now-husband) never wanted children at all.

18-10-2015 02:08PM

Tebley wrote: »

What age do you think would suit you best to have children, and what age would you want to be when you had your last. Assuming of course you want children.

Have two already - age 5 years, and 18 months. And I am 36 now. Planning two more but not for another 2 or 3 years yet.

Diamond Doll · 18-10-2015 02:27PM

I'm 30 now, had my first child at 28.

The relationship has since split up, and in hindsight, it was a terrible idea for us to be lax with contraception when we weren't in a particularly long relationship and had no savings etc. I think it's possible to regret the circumstances without regretting the child, if that makes any sense! I wouldn't change him for the world, I just wish I could have had him in a different relationship with a different person. But then of course he wouldn't be the same child, obviously.

I want to have maybe another three or four children, but I don't want to still be having them into my forties. So I guess I'd want to start trying to get pregnant in my mid thirties, at the latest, ideally even before then. Just need to find a father for them first!! One thing I've learned from the past though, is that I'll definitely want to wait until I'm in a very happy, strong, well-established relationship before even thinking about getting pregnant. I couldn't go through the same heartache again.

Sam Kade · 18-10-2015 02:31PM

Tebley wrote: »

What age do you think would suit you best to have children, and what age would you want to be when you had your last. Assuming of course you want children.

Last time I checked it takes two people to have children so it's a joint decision

garrixfan · 18-10-2015 02:32PM

NEVER

18-10-2015 02:41PM

I don't know. I would have said around 30. I'm 33 now. Single. The way my life is now is really not suited to being a mam and the idea does scare me. Then so does the idea of never having children. I've been thinking lately about what a little me would be like. I imagine a little curly headed person who laughs a lot, gives hugs and challenges me

Perhaps by the time I am 36.

It's lonely sometimes. No doubt about that.

whatismyname · 18-10-2015 02:50PM

Into The Blue wrote: »

we were 34 having the first child.

How many people are you?

paleoperson · 18-10-2015 03:16PM

I think OP is a little exclusionary against people who either never want children or are really too old to have children. Don't assume people want to have children, the world is overpopulated as it is and more is not what we want.

wakka12 · 18-10-2015 03:23PM

paleoperson wrote: »

I think OP is a little exclusionary against people who either never want children or are really too old to have children. Don't assume people want to have children, the world is overpopulated as it is and more is not what we want.

Ireland is not. Europes population is ageing and declining, having children is certainly no harm here. Indians need to worry about having less children, not us.

paleoperson · 18-10-2015 03:26PM

wakka12 wrote: »

[/B]
Ireland is not. Europes population is ageing and declining, having children is certainly no harm here. Indians need to worry about having less children, not us.

Everywhere is overpopulated. Until food and water are free and ready to pick off the ground/from the trees we're overpopulated. Overpopulation pushes cost up, we're massively overpopulated to breaking point.

wakka12 · 18-10-2015 03:36PM

paleoperson wrote: »

Everywhere is overpopulated. Until food and water are free and ready to pick off the ground/from the trees we're overpopulated. Overpopulation pushes cost up, we're massively overpopulated to breaking point.

So what world population size do you suggest then? Whats ideal? Hundreds of years ago when the world population was one seventh the size it is now everyone on average was poorer, less safe and less healthy on average. So what gives?

meeeeh · 18-10-2015 03:40PM

paleoperson wrote: »

I think OP is a little exclusionary against people who either never want children or are really too old to have children. Don't assume people want to have children, the world is overpopulated as it is and more is not what we want.

So if someone starts a thread about gaa, they are exclusionary and should also post questions about other sports because not all of us a are gaa fans?

I had first one at thirty. It was not exactly planned but we weren't fussed about contraception either. About six months later would be better because we were in the middle of house built.

the second one was a bit later than intended, she was born at 35. I have a feeling my partner wouldn't mind another one, but I am happy with two and I also think the last pregnancy and miscarriages tired me out. I'm fairly fit but I still think my body was telling me I am getting too old for this child bearing stuff.

paleoperson · 18-10-2015 03:48PM

wakka12 wrote: »

So what world population size do you suggest then? Whats ideal? Hundreds of years ago when the world population was one seventh the size it is now everyone on average was poorer, less safe and less healthy on average. So what gives?

That's a myth. Thousands of years ago when there was about 100,000 people in the world and humans were still in Africa the human population was the safest it's ever been. Fruit was abundant everywhere and ripe at all times of the year. The idea that man had it tough in those times is a fabricated myth. I am not interested in arguing this with someone on after hours, I am stating it for your information.

100,000 people would seem like a good number of humans to shoot for, allowing for plenty genetic diversity while not overreaching our natural environment.

sadie06 · 18-10-2015 04:07PM

I had my first when I was 29, and second when I was 33 and I wouldn't change a thing. We have two independent pre-teens now and are glad to be a little further along in parenting than all of our friends.

That said, it was lonely being the only one with children at that age, and now all my friends are at the baby/toddler stage but I'm back to having a life/career to talk about. :-)

There is no perfect time, but I'm glad I did it relatively young.

18-10-2015 04:07PM

I'm 30 now and don't feel like the commitment of it now, enjoying life and doing stuff, lots of nights out and doing other things etc. I think it will be another few years before I will want kids, getting married would be first anyway.

That said I refuse to be one of them people who basically give up on life and let the word revolve around kids when they have them. I've no intention of not having regular nights out and other stuff I like to do when I have kids obviously it's no as easy but I'll be making the time.

Duff · 18-10-2015 04:25PM

27 now, I'm good for another 10 years or so.

cajonlardo · 18-10-2015 06:04PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Had first at 40. Happy with that. Had my fill of late nights

Yeah.

Good luck with that

Starscream25 · 18-10-2015 06:09PM

I'm 30, would have em tomorrow, only problem is finding a women to bear my seed.
Realistically and hopefully around 33-34 as I'm not financially ready

Sunflower 27 · 18-10-2015 06:13PM

Never. I knew around my mid-20s I did not want them and am almost 43 now. Delighted with my choice. My partner is 40 and never wanted them either so that's handy

Motherhood was never going to be for me.

18-10-2015 06:26PM

When I'm about 29 or 30. Would prefer to be relatively young! But sure I don't know what will happen..

OldMrBrennan83 · 18-10-2015 06:27PM

This post has been deleted.

The One Doctor · 18-10-2015 06:33PM

Gongoozler wrote: »

Boards, magazines, media, television etc have all made me worry that as I get older I'm going to suddenly develop an urge to have to have them, as if my ovaries are going to be pulsating with the need for children. So I'm afraid I'm going to have my mind changed by some biological urge that will appear from nowhere, but logically at least I won't change my mind.

Logic has never had pride of place in the decision to have children. We have a 9 month old and she's great. I miss having more time to myself but fcuk it, kids give you a feeling of worth that you can't get yourself without serious therapy or going to a private school.

Autonomous Cowherd · 18-10-2015 06:50PM

I had my 3 in my early 20's. Has been tremendous fun

Weirdest thing though is having them all well-reared and left home and me still in my 40's.

Like what now....?

'Taint normal, I tells ya!

timthumbni · 18-10-2015 07:10PM

Have your kids as young as possible. Then chances are you can spend longer with them. You won't regret it....

18-10-2015 07:22PM

timthumbni wrote: »

Have your kids as young as possible. Then chances are you can spend longer with them. You won't regret it....

On the other hand you will miss out on a lot of life if you have them young.

My life from 25 to 30 would be very very different if I had kids and I'd have missed some serious craic or certainly not been as free to do things. I certainly want kids (or a kid) but 35+ is when I'll seriously be thinking about it.

Reiketsu · 18-10-2015 07:23PM

I had my daughter when I was 18. Admittedly it was hard having a child at that age, single parent. Now I'm 27. At times I felt like I was missing out but the reality is that I've still done a lot more travelling and partying and all that fun stuff than people my age without children. She will be an adult when I'm still relatively young. I can expand on my travelling then. Heck, she can even join in

. I would like one more child but within the next couple of years. If that doesn't happen then it's okay. I never pictured myself with loads anyway. Yes, I worried financially but I made it work. I'm glad it happened to me young but I can also see the appeal in waiting and getting all you want to do out of the way first

.

beks101 · 18-10-2015 07:23PM

timthumbni wrote: »

Have your kids as young as possible. Then chances are you can spend longer with them.

It's different strokes for different folks though innit.
It'd be a lot more important to me to be financially stable and emotionally mature enough to rear a child than to be a 'young mum'.
Plus with today's medical advances most people live to their 80s nowadays.

steddyeddy · 18-10-2015 07:24PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Had first at 40. Happy with that. Had my fill of late nights, partying and the like, whole new chapter now.

Congratulations dude!

Tarzana2 · 18-10-2015 07:25PM

beks101 wrote: »

It's different strokes for different folks though innit.
It'd be a lot more important to me to be financially stable and emotionally mature enough to rear a child than to be a 'young mum'.
Plus with today's medical advances most people live to their 80s nowadays.

It's still safer to have children under 35 if you're a woman, no matter how much longer lived we become.

Pat Mustard · 18-10-2015 07:37PM

Kids, nah.

If it came to it, I'd agree to having them but I really don't have much interest.

What age would you like to have children?

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