Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

the_syco · 15-09-2015 05:59PM

Crooked Jack wrote: »

In particular I used to hate the delivery drivers in dominos when I worked there.

I find if I tipped them a euro my pizza would generally arrive hot. Before, when I didn't tip (when I was a student), the pizza would be just warm.

Ramza · 16-09-2015 05:16AM

the_syco wrote: »

I find if I tipped them a euro my pizza would generally arrive hot. Before, when I didn't tip (when I was a student), the pizza would be just warm.

Wish I had your problems :pac:

Brian from Bray · 16-09-2015 05:23AM

Gym buffs who throw their weight around thinking they are great.

Optimalprimerib · 16-09-2015 07:16AM

kunst nugget wrote: »

Getting pictures taken of myself looking like a cúnt with a pipe wouldn't have been my idea of fun when I was younger. Using the plane ticket money for drugs instead would have been way more fun.

Em that makes you sound like a tosser.

DoYouEvenLift · 16-09-2015 07:20AM

Why Paris, of all places? Why not Amsterdam or Prague or Barcelona?

Mother Brain · 16-09-2015 07:33AM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Why Paris, of all places? Why not Amsterdam or Prague or Barcelona?

Romantic getaway?

lapua20grain · 16-09-2015 08:01AM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Why Paris, of all places? Why not Amsterdam or Prague or Barcelona?

Hipster **** that's why.

kunst nugget · 16-09-2015 09:17AM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Why Paris, of all places? Why not Amsterdam or Prague or Barcelona?

Obviously because you'd look really, really silly posing with a pipe in Barcelona…

kunst nugget · 16-09-2015 09:38AM

Optimalprimerib wrote: »

Em that makes you sound like a tosser.

Ah, you're right. A contrived, attention seeking stunt to prove they're mad bastards and totes ledgebags was a much better way to waste their parents' money. This'll keep them topped up with the bants for ages!!!

Crooked Jack · 16-09-2015 09:59AM

Everyone in this article

https://sports.vice.com/en_uk/highlight/running-makes-people-insane-and-this-forum-thread-proves-it?utm_source=Facebook&utm_campaign&utm_medium

and 90% of Vice writers

callaway92 · 16-09-2015 12:17PM

People with Nurburgring stickers on their car.

Aglomerado · 16-09-2015 12:39PM

callaway92 wrote: »

People with Nurburgring stickers on their car.

I saw a version of one of those online once... "Neverbeen" it said. More appropriate.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 16-09-2015 12:39PM

Neon_Lights wrote: »

Sleeve tattoos or for upmost effect incomplete sleeve tattoos

I'll add to that with **** over 50 years old who never had a tattoo before and all of a sudden after a weekend away come back with two full length sleeve tattoos and now always wear t-shirts despite how wet/cold it is outside.

(He lives near me and is a prize winning wanker)

rubadub · 16-09-2015 12:42PM

Brian from Bray wrote: »

Gym buffs who throw their weight around thinking they are great.

Ah yes, amongst those suffering from "I don't know my own strength-itis", like that gob****e in that video a while back ripping open the door of a fridge and all the bottles flying everywhere. He made no attempt to open it first, just goes an rips it with all his strength.

I know a lad and you can visibly see his knuckles going white as he shakes hands with people with such force, and if someone mentions it trots out "oh sorry, I didn't realise", yeah, fucking right, when 30% of people you shake hands with say it.

callaway92 · 16-09-2015 12:44PM

Aglomerado wrote: »

I saw a version of one of those online once... "Neverbeen" it said. More appropriate.

Ha ya, I saw one of them this morning and it prompted me to write what I did.

Fizman · 16-09-2015 12:54PM

professore wrote: »

Had to look up SJW but yeah in Ireland with it's extremely generous welfare system to the point of disincentivising work there's really no excuse for it.

I had assumed it stood for skinny Jeans wearer until I read this post and had to look it up.

Jimoslimos · 16-09-2015 01:04PM

Aglomerado wrote: »

I saw a version of one of those online once... "Neverbeen" it said. More appropriate.

Saw another variation on a car which said "Nötbothering"

Ramza · 16-09-2015 01:20PM

20 something year olds born with silver spoons who are coddled by Mammy and Daddy even though they're adults. These same people can always be heard spouting non stop nonsense about how hard the recession is and how hard times are, while driving around in '15 Mercs and wearing designer clothes, all funded for by their even more wankery parents. You don't know you're ****ing born you cünts

asherbassad · 16-09-2015 01:36PM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Why Paris, of all places? Why not Amsterdam or Prague or Barcelona?

Just goes to show why the whole stupid episode was staged.

If they had gone to the airport and spontaneously got the next shorthaul flight to anywhere it could have been Aberdeen or Newcastle or Cardiff or Eindhoven. These two tits had to make sure it was Par-ee. Uber-****.

Thundercats Ho · 16-09-2015 01:52PM

riclad wrote: »

people who wear celtic football jersey,s to the pub .

People who wear Man U / Chelsea / Liverpool Jerseys are grand though.

DrPhilG · 16-09-2015 01:56PM

Fizman wrote: »

I had assumed it stood for skinny Jeans wearer until I read this post and had to look it up.

Either way the outcome is the same.

XyWeasel · 16-09-2015 01:57PM

If somebody uses the phrase "at the end of the day" to justify anything, especially if it's something they've done wrong.

There's nothing wrong with the phrase "at the end of the day" if you're talking about something that happened at the end of the actual day, or even just in conclusion to any period of time. Saying "... and, at the end of the day, they all went home and had supper", or "at the end of the day, they didn't win the election" makes sense.

If you're telling me "at the end of the day, I'm right", or "it doesn't even matter, at the end of the day", then it rubs me the wrong way.

Ramza · 16-09-2015 01:58PM

Yeah, I agree. That whole story was cringey as ****, to be honest. How attention starved do you need to be to plan a "whimsical" trip to Paris after your debs just so you can be seen as a "mad bastard" and get a little bit of "fame" on social media? Pretty attention starved if you ask me. There's nothing remotely mad about what they did. They went to France after their debs and took a few selfies, yeah? So ****ing what ï¿¼? Am I missing something or do I need to lower my IQ to understand what's so cool about this? Maybe I'm getting old ï¿¼

Also upon looking at pictures of the two lads, they look like the biggest pair of **** so the story checks out with regards to them being stupid attention seeking cÃ¼nts. Yer man smoking a pipe and the other fella with the most wankery facial hair I've ever seen. Looks like a picture of Johnny Depp and Sherlock Holmes off on a romantic trip to Paris. Pair of twats

Edit: I did not mean to thank my own post and now I cant find out how to unthank it on mobile

Saipanne · 16-09-2015 01:59PM

Thundercats Ho wrote: »

People who wear Man U / Chelsea / Liverpool Jerseys are grand though.

Wearing any kind of jersey on a casual basis is fairly chavvy. But a Celtic jersey? That is the sole reserve of the purest of scum and filth.

You can predict a lot about the type of person someone is, purely from a green and white hooped garment.

Jimoslimos · 16-09-2015 02:03PM

Saipanne wrote: »

Wearing any kind of jersey on a casual basis is fairly chavvy. But a Celtic jersey? That is the sole reserve of the purest of scum and filth.

Milwall, no?

Zillah · 16-09-2015 02:06PM

More like the "What arbitrary prejudices do you hold thread" amirite?

Saipanne · 16-09-2015 02:19PM

Jimoslimos wrote: »

Milwall, no?

I'm thinking from an Irish viewpoint here. I've never seen a Millwall jersey in Ireland.

mapaca · 16-09-2015 03:26PM

People who do a nice thing for someone - and then proceed to go around bragging to everyone about the nice thing they did. Especially if it involved spending money.

Salvation Tambourine · 16-09-2015 03:43PM

mapaca wrote: »

People who do a nice thing for someone - and then proceed to go around bragging to everyone about the nice thing they did. Especially if it involved spending money.

Sponsored bungee jump...don't get it. Get people to pay for you to do something you want to do and the rest goes to charity?

astonaidan · 16-09-2015 04:40PM

Yeah_Right wrote: »

People that criticise people with tattoos but can't spell tattoo.

Low iq was pricless

Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

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