Suicide

freshpopcorn · 14-09-2015 07:19AM #1

I'm in my twenties now and in my local area a few people have taken their lives in the last decade or so. They were mainly men, I think their was one woman.
I remember back in mid 2000's a guy killed himself and people said it was because of the expectations of the Celtic Tiger.
Other cases I've heard of were linked to drugs/alcohol.
One family lost two sons to suicide.
Between 2009-2012. Suicides in my area were mainly linked to the economic downturn/debts.
One guy out of my class took his own life. He basically fell in with the wrong crowed.
The one thing all these people have in common is it wrecks families. I've seen people recover from terrible incidents but Suicide destroys families in my opinion.

I have noticed there's being a decrease in suicide in my area in the past year or so.

I've no idea why suicide became such a epidemic in Ireland and other countries. I do believe that there is a lot more awareness of mental health in the last few years and this has helped.
I do think more should be done on school to raise awareness about mental Heath and how to deal with various problems you might encounter.
We had a chat with Aware(I think) for a couple of hours. I thought this was beneficial and would have helped prople who were struggling.
Another day we had a religious retreat(not a pray mentioned) it was all about mediation and relaxing. People were almost crying. Almost everybody agreed it was an excellent way of dealing with your troubles. Sadly tough these kind of days rarely happen.
I actually grew up with a nice bunch of lads in my class going to school and their was no really bullying. When I went to college tough the bullying was unreal. The name calling/teasing/ignoring/etc. It really showed me what teenagers can be going through in school and why they might take their own lives.
There's also major pressures online for teenagers nowadays. I'm actually happy I only had a dial up internet connection/with a Bebo page with pictures of cars and a awful phone. I'm not an Internet safety warrior and I know twelve year old boys will look up dirty pictures/etc.
One thing tough I don't a lot of teenage boys/girls realise what they are posting on social media and once it's there it never goes away. I know myself and the majority of my friends would have made mistakes online if we grew up today. Another major problem I see everybody has a camera at hand for any little incident that might happen. Can be seen again and again.

There are also various other pressures/problems that people of all ages face every day.

What are your views about suicide?

efb · 14-09-2015 07:23AM

That a thread title about it shouldn't include an exclamation mark

crazygeryy · 14-09-2015 07:24AM

It shouldn't be in here either i think. Its open to all sorts of ah treatment.

freshpopcorn · 14-09-2015 07:37AM

Another problem more so in rural Ireland. Is the closer of local post offices/banks/shops/pub. This has isolated especially older men especially. Who were comfortable with there lives and now but now their pension is paid into there bank account or in another post office miles away from the area they gew up in all their lives and since the post office/bank closed other shops/businesses went out of business. They now have to go to an area full of strangers that might make them uncomfortable/afraid.

harry Bailey esq · 14-09-2015 07:42AM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I'm in my twenties now and in my local area a few people have taken their lives in the last decade or so. They were mainly men, I think their was one woman.
I remember back in mid 2000's a guy killed himself and people said it was because of the expectations of the Celtic Tiger.
Other cases I've heard of were linked to drugs/alcohol.
One family lost two sons to suicide.
Between 2009-2012. Suicides in my area were mainly linked to the economic downturn/debts.
One guy out of my class took his own life. He basically fell in with the wrong crowed.
The one thing all these people have in common is it wrecks families. I've seen people recover from terrible incidents but Suicide destroys families in my opinion.

I have noticed there's being a decrease in suicide in my area in the past year or so.

I've no idea why suicide became such a epidemic in Ireland and other countries. I do believe that there is a lot more awareness of mental health in the last few years and this has helped.
I do think more should be done on school to raise awareness about mental Heath and how to deal with various problems you might encounter.
We had a chat with Aware(I think) for a couple of hours. I thought this was beneficial and would have helped prople who were struggling.
Another day we had a religious retreat(not a pray mentioned) it was all about mediation and relaxing. People were almost crying. Almost everybody agreed it was an excellent way of dealing with your troubles. Sadly tough these kind of days rarely happen.
I actually grew up with a nice bunch of lads in my class going to school and their was no really bullying. When I went to college tough the bullying was unreal. The name calling/teasing/ignoring/etc. It really showed me what teenagers can be going through in school and why they might take their own lives.
There's also major pressures online for teenagers nowadays. I'm actually happy I only had a dial up internet connection/with a Bebo page with pictures of cars and a awful phone. I'm not an Internet safety warrior and I know twelve year old boys will look up dirty pictures/etc.
One thing tough I don't a lot of teenage boys/girls realise what they are posting on social media and once it's there it never goes away. I know myself and the majority of my friends would have made mistakes online if we grew up today. Another major problem I see everybody has a camera at hand for any little incident that might happen. Can be seen again and again.

There are also various other pressures/problems that people of all ages face every day.

What are your views about suicide?

I agree with everything you said 'freshpopcorn' I've lost more friends through suicide/murders/traffic accidents than you could shake a baseball bat at.That said,its probably suited for discussion in a forum other than after hours,because your always gonna get the same two or three clowns that will try to be 'witty' on what is a very sensitive,and painful topic for many.Sorry about your pal by the way.

Robbie32 · 14-09-2015 07:47AM

They go on about awareness and mental health, but they actually hid the fact of it happening. There is no reports of it in the media. I have friends in the coast guard and lifeboat and it is a weekly occurance for them to be called out for a suicide or attempted, putting their lives on the line.
I am not sure what can be done, but it all well and good talking about awareness, but until people realise the extent of the issue it will always be a bit of a taboo subject.

Tzardine · 14-09-2015 07:51AM

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

mad muffin · 14-09-2015 07:53AM

In all my life living in Perth, I have never known or heard of someone committing suicide. Not friends or in my area or friends and family of people I know.

Since moving to Ireland, I have known neighbours committing suicide, people in my area, friends and family on my wife's side committing suicide or that have committed it.

I live in rural Ireland.

efb · 14-09-2015 07:54AM

Robbie32 wrote: »

They go on about awareness and mental health, but they actually hid the fact of it happening. There is no reports of it in the media. I have friends in the coast guard and lifeboat and it is a weekly occurance for them to be called out for a suicide or attempted, putting their lives on the line.
I am not sure what can be done, but it all well and good talking about awareness, but until people realise the extent of the issue it will always be a bit of a taboo subject.

That because reporting of suicide is proven to cause a rise in suicide attempts- the Samaritans have guidelines on reporting

mattP · 14-09-2015 07:57AM

efb wrote:

That because reporting of suicide is proven to cause a rise in suicide attempts- the Samaritans have guidelines on reporting

This is why the Japanese media are not allowed reference "Suicide Forest" anymore. The more it is presented it lingers in people's minds longer.

questionmark? · 14-09-2015 08:08AM

It's caused by a horrible disease. One that you generally can't see. A disease that people are embarrassed to have. A disease that unless you had it you can't understand what someone who looked for a way out was going through.

Depression kills more people than road accidents but yet it's kept generally silent and gets a lot less investment/coverage than speeding or driving without seat belts.

I've lost a very close friend through this silent killer along with a few others from the area I knew over the years. As a country we need to get a grip on the killer that is depression.

Jon Stark · 14-09-2015 08:24AM

My heart breaks for anyone effected by suicide. For the victim who was in so much pain that this was the only solution they could see, and for the friends and family who are just left utterly broken and tormented over what ifs.

Depression is complicated and never the same for two people, So I really find it difficult to find the right words to help someone. I think people can sense that as well so don't want to "burden" someone with their troubles (which of course is never the case).

On the other hand there are some people just not equipped to support people due to their own issues. That's why people should just be encouraged to directly reach out for professional assistance.

Akrasia · 14-09-2015 08:45AM

My father died from suicide 12 years ago. He had been suffering from mental illness for decades (bi-polar) and just decided that he couldn't live that way anymore.

We don't blame him for what he did. We miss him terribly but he was suffering from an illness that turned out to have been a terminal one.

people end their lives when they want release from the pain of living. They don't think the moments of joy are worth the days or months of suffering.

For young people, this is often a poor decision based on short term pain and impulsiveness and a lack of perspective. Often alcohol or drugs push people over the edge. It's hugely tragic when people end their lives over something that seems like the most important thing in the world to them, but over the course of a full lifetime, would amount to only a footnote

But this is life. I feel terrible for the families and friends of someone who ends their life prematurely.

StephenHendry · 14-09-2015 08:52AM

it really is tough OP, I've had some lowpoints myself , even contemplated it but I did not make any real effort, thank god for that, I think nowadays there is more awareness about it which is good

Daith · 14-09-2015 08:55AM

One of the issues is really around access to mental health support.

I do understand the work done by Aware, Samaritans, etc but people really need access to more affordable counselors and therapists.

Spending upwards of €60 or more to see someone and it could take god knows how many sessions?

Maybe I'm missing something and it is cheaper though?

Annasopra · 14-09-2015 08:57AM

questionmark? wrote: »

It's caused by a horrible disease. One that you generally can't see. A disease that people are embarrassed to have. A disease that unless you had it you can't understand what someone who looked for a way out was going through.

Depression kills more people than road accidents but yet it's kept generally silent and gets a lot less investment/coverage than speeding or driving without seat belts.

I've lost a very close friend through this silent killer along with a few others from the area I knew over the years. As a country we need to get a grip on the killer that is depression.

Sure depression is a huge cause but not the only cause

Annasopra · 14-09-2015 09:05AM

Daith wrote: »

One of the issues is really around access to mental health support.

I do understand the work done by Aware, Samaritans, etc but people really need access to more affordable counselors and therapists.

Spending upwards of €60 or more to see someone and it could take god knows how many sessions?

Maybe I'm missing something and it is cheaper though?

It's mixed

There is little or no state counselling unless you have severe mental health problems.

There are local groups that support positive mental health such as Aware and GROW but groups don't suit everyone.

There are other charitable organisations that provide free counselling to those on low income etc but not that many.

So yes in many cases the only option is to access counselling at approximately €60 a session. You may find sympathetic ones who will offer a smaller rate to some. I lost my job a few years ago and the counsellor reduced the weekly cost from €60 to €40 although this was still a huge struggle on €188 a week.

Daith · 14-09-2015 09:11AM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

There are local groups that support positive mental health such as Aware and GROW but groups don't suit everyone.

I think these services are aimed at people who really just need to talk to someone bar themselves and it can be very beneficial.

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

So yes in many cases the only option is to access counselling at approximately €60 a session. You may find sympathetic ones who will offer a smaller rate to some. I lost my job a few years ago and the counsellor reduced the weekly cost from €60 to €40 although this was still a huge struggle on €188 a week.

Exactly. So when I see article after article about mental health and the list of support services such as Aware it doesn't address the fact that access to mental health support can be prohibitively expensive for people here.

Annasopra · 14-09-2015 09:13AM

Daith wrote: »

I think these services are aimed at people who really just need to talk to someone bar themselves and it can be very beneficial.

Exactly. So when I see article after article about mental health and the list of support services such as Aware it doesn't address the fact that access to mental health support can be prohibitively expensive for people here.

Yes but groups such as AWARE and GROW are a form of support for mental health. I wouldn't dismiss them.

Daith · 14-09-2015 09:15AM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Yes but groups such as AWARE and GROW are a form of support for mental health. I wouldn't dismiss them.

Sorry I didn't mean to dismiss them at all.

It's just I think you are really suicidal it would be counselling services and I wonder if cheaper access is needed more than anything else.

Mother Brain · 14-09-2015 10:06AM

One thing I believe gets glossed over in these discussions is that, if we were to be truly honest about it, there are actually specific, objective things about life that are actually pretty s**t.

People who are generally happy tend to have mitigating factors in their lives that help to offset the experiences we share of life being s**t, and thereby diminishing the effects of the exposure to the bad parts. If you have good friends, solid family relationships, fulfilling work etc, it can all serve to take the focus off of the bad parts of life that we are all exposed to. When someone does not possess any of these things, they don't have the offset and so experience only the negative side of life. I often feel that the focus is put on the person suffering depression as having something wrong with them rather than there be any consideration of the view that there are many things wrong with the world, with life or what have you.

In fact many times I have felt that such a large taboo exists around depression and suicide is that nobody really wants to consider the proposition that depression is a legitimate response to the experience of life. That if we were all to be bit more honest about it, we could probably concede that there is some validity to that claim.

Conor Bourke · 14-09-2015 10:13AM

Mother Brain wrote: »

One thing I believe gets glossed over in these discussions is that, if we were to be truly honest about it, there are actually specific, objective things about life that are actually pretty s**t.

People who are generally happy tend to have mitigating factors in their lives that help to offset the experiences we share of life being s**t, and thereby diminishing the effects of the exposure to the bad parts. If you have good friends, solid family relationships, fulfilling work etc, it can all serve to take the focus off of the bad parts of life that we are all exposed to. When someone does not possess any of these things, they don't have the offset and so experience only the negative side of life. I often feel that the focus is put on the person suffering depression as having something wrong with them rather than there be any consideration of the view that there are many things wrong with the world, with life or what have you.

In fact many times I have felt that such a large taboo exists around depression and suicide is that nobody really wants to consider the proposition that depression is a legitimate response to the experience of life. That if we were all to be bit more honest about it, we could probably concede that there is some validity to that claim.

There are many, many people who have "had it all"- good job, loving family and friends but have still taken their own lives.

Mother Brain · 14-09-2015 10:26AM

Alaskimo-cake wrote: »

There are many, many people who have "had it all"- good job, loving family and friends but have still taken their own lives.

That's true. As I said, these tend to be mitigating factors, but are not a blanket guarantee of happiness.

In my opinion, there are also all sorts of knock on effects of experiencing long term depression that lead to a sort of snowball effect over time.

Also, a person's subjective experience of things such as personal relationships etc. may not accurately reflect the reality of those relationships. I.e. maybe you have friends but you feel alone amongst them, or only maintain those friendships out of habit / historical reasons. Or you have a family, but find the burden of responsibility for it too much to bear for example.

Streetwalker · 14-09-2015 10:31AM

We are a third world country when it comes to mental health, always have been. Doesn't help when leaders of the country where telling people to go off with a gun and a bottle of whiskey into a dark room because they where trying to be cautious about their/nations finances (how'd that work out Bertie?).

Chemical Byrne · 14-09-2015 10:33AM

Me and a friend and his friend went out a few weeks ago in his local village during a festival. At the end of the night the friends friend went missing on the way home, ran away from the taxi. We got home and friends dad and us 2 had to drive around the roads looking for him. Found him all depressed, brought him back home and before we opened the door he took off running again off up through the yard.

We ran after him looking for him for 5 or 10 minutes in the dark (it's a big farmyard, lots of sheds) and we found him in the slatted shed hanging from a high gate by his belt. We had to cut him down......

14-09-2015 10:36AM

I think there is lots of awareness about the issue and there is existence of Pieta house there are TV and radio programs about the issue and ads aimed at men and boys. Fundraisers like the darkness to light walk.

The openness about the issue is a double edged sword, in the past shame, guilt, and religion keep people from committing suicide so they lived with suffering and stayed alive, however now suicide has lost its taboo and has become one of the the solutions people consider when they are suffering.

gctest50 · 14-09-2015 10:37AM

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

Me and a friend and his friend went out a few weeks ago in his local village during a festival. At the end of the night the friends friend went missing on the way home, ran away from the taxi. We got home and friends dad and us 2 had to drive around the roads looking for him. Found him all depressed, brought him back home and before we opened the door he took off running again off up through the yard.

We ran after him looking for him for 5 or 10 minutes in the dark (it's a big farmyard, lots of sheds) and we found him in the slatted shed hanging from a high gate by his belt. We had to cut him down......

I know someone who has that effect on people too - tis sad

Mother Brain · 14-09-2015 10:38AM

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

We ran after him looking for him for 5 or 10 minutes in the dark (it's a big farmyard, lots of sheds) and we found him in the slatted shed hanging from a high gate by his belt. We had to cut him down......

That's horrible. My condolences to you and your friend.

folamh · 14-09-2015 10:42AM

Robbie32 wrote: »

They go on about awareness and mental health, but they actually hid the fact of it happening. There is no reports of it in the media. I have friends in the coast guard and lifeboat and it is a weekly occurance for them to be called out for a suicide or attempted, putting their lives on the line.
I am not sure what can be done, but it all well and good talking about awareness, but until people realise the extent of the issue it will always be a bit of a taboo subject.

Wouldn't reporting on suicide violate the privacy of the victims?

Streetwalker · 14-09-2015 10:42AM

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

Me and a friend and his friend went out a few weeks ago in his local village during a festival. At the end of the night the friends friend went missing on the way home, ran away from the taxi. We got home and friends dad and us 2 had to drive around the roads looking for him. Found him all depressed, brought him back home and before we opened the door he took off running again off up through the yard.

We ran after him looking for him for 5 or 10 minutes in the dark (it's a big farmyard, lots of sheds) and we found him in the slatted shed hanging from a high gate by his belt. We had to cut him down......

So sorry to hear this. Must have been horrific.

folamh · 14-09-2015 10:43AM

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

Me and a friend and his friend went out a few weeks ago in his local village during a festival. At the end of the night the friends friend went missing on the way home, ran away from the taxi. We got home and friends dad and us 2 had to drive around the roads looking for him. Found him all depressed, brought him back home and before we opened the door he took off running again off up through the yard.

We ran after him looking for him for 5 or 10 minutes in the dark (it's a big farmyard, lots of sheds) and we found him in the slatted shed hanging from a high gate by his belt. We had to cut him down......

How awful.

Suicide

Comments