Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

DanielODonnell · 01-09-2015 05:10PM

When they have an English surname but that is just because I live in a segregated area.

Maximus Alexander · 01-09-2015 05:12PM

HalloweenJack wrote: »

Colleagues who only talk about work outside of work.

Even worse are friends who, as they get older, only seem to talk about their job or career when socialising. I'm not even interested in my own job, let alone the minutiae of yours.

Menas · 01-09-2015 05:14PM

DanielODonnell wrote: »

When they have an English surname but that is just because I live in a segregated area.

People are w@nkers because they have an english surname? :eek:

DEFTLEFTHAND · 01-09-2015 05:14PM

DanielODonnell wrote: »

When they have an English surname but that is just because I live in a segregated area.

A planter's surname? :pac:

Ash.J.Williams · 01-09-2015 05:16PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

A planter's surname? :pac:

ha i've a planters surname, my da love the gaa and by my own observation is a self hating prod!

DEFTLEFTHAND · 01-09-2015 05:17PM

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Even worse are friends who, as they get older, only seem to talk about their job or career when socialising. I'm not even interested in my own job, let alone the minutiae of yours.

Yes it's very difficult to feign interest in these situations, it's quite easy to completely zone out and then get caught on the hop with a question relating to whatever they're droning on about.

DanielODonnell · 01-09-2015 05:18PM

Menas wrote: »

People are w@nkers because they have an english surname? :eek:

Maybe not on a personal level but if you met them without knowing them beforehand you would have a bad feeling about them.

Junkyard Tom · 01-09-2015 05:20PM

People who have no clue what espadrilles are and resort to looking it up on the internet like some sort of idiot.

tattycoram · 01-09-2015 05:20PM

Women who own very small yappy dogs.

People who ask where you went to secondary school when you're an adult just so they can figure out if you're 'the right sort'.

People who use Instagram.

Men with very well groomed beards.

Birneybau · 01-09-2015 05:31PM

Saipanne wrote: »

People who say "deadly".

Epic, Class, Unreal, Legend...

DanielODonnell · 01-09-2015 05:39PM

A Belfast brogue too, have never met a decent one of them.

Littlehorny · 01-09-2015 05:50PM

Any man who has been on the dole his whole adult life, whether your in your 20s or your 60s and you haven't held down some kind of job, this doesn't make you a lad or a rebel. Your just a bone idle useless wanker!!!

5rtytry56 · 01-09-2015 05:50PM

DanielODonnell wrote: »

A Belfast brogue too, have never met a decent one of them.

By "brogue" you mean Nationalist / Catholic right?
Not loyalist or protestant

MadDog76 · 01-09-2015 05:51PM

Any man under the age of 35 who has a full beard and/or dickie bow and/or waistcoat and/or topknot a la Conor McGregor-style is a wanker.

Anybody who uses the word "chooooone" is a wanker.

Any driver who does not know how to use a roundabout properly is a wanker ....... actually probably just an idiot ........ but still a wanker.

Massimo Cassagrande · 01-09-2015 05:59PM

"I am cycling up Mt Everest on a kayak, for Charidee, in aid of Save the Swiss - sponsor me...for charidee.."

No. You are a wánker. Feck off and pay for your own holiday.

Junkyard Tom · 01-09-2015 06:01PM

People who have a poor understanding of the differences between the various Mexican breads and flat-breads.

Massimo Cassagrande · 01-09-2015 06:04PM

Or you're walking into the Credit Union, and some feckless scruffy gimp has a crappy stall set up with a big sign up saying "Help Autism" or whatever....you guiltily hand over the obligatory €3 (cheeky gits - one euro would be more than enough) for a crappy wrist-band..carry on in...do your credit union apologising/lodging/robbery...wander back out, and Captain memory Man goes.."Hoi, would you like to support Autism??"

Grr...

"No - I detest Autism, why would I support it??" - and shallow, dim people with the memory of a goldfish - please jam your wrist-band stall up your hoop, good lad...."..wánker....

syngindub · 01-09-2015 06:05PM

people who bring their kids to the pub 52 weeks a year

5rtytry56 · 01-09-2015 06:16PM

Men who stand beside their "spot" in a pub waiting for the present occupant to vacate it even when there is no sign of this happening.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 01-09-2015 06:21PM

Anyone who wears one of those ridiculous floppy wool caps at any time but partticularly while indoors, on hot sunny days and while out at night in a pub/club. Instant wanker.

plys · 01-09-2015 06:22PM

rodneyTrotter. wrote: »

You're out running or walking on a path . In the opposite direction 2 or 3 people are walking towards you taking over the whole path
You move to the edge of path expecting at least one person to have the common decency to move in . No they keep talking oblivious to you , so you have to run onto the road narrowly missing a car coming from behind you . It's the height of pig ignorance and happens all the time .

That's what shoulders and elbows are for.

01-09-2015 06:29PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Im not even a driver, but cyclists just come off as ****.

The ones in all their Tour de France gear are the worst kind of people alive.

Any Irish imbecile that moans about 'foreign' owners taking over their clubs.... in England.

DanielODonnell · 01-09-2015 06:31PM

5rtytry56 wrote: »

By "brogue" you mean Nationalist / Catholic right?
Not loyalist or protestant

No it is just another word for accent where i live.

teenage_queen · 01-09-2015 06:32PM

Just to add my two cents of working in retail

-people who won't get off the phone when you're doing a transaction
-people who fling the money on the counter instead of into your hand
-people who give out to the cashier over the price of goods
-people who throw a bag at you and expect you to pack everything for them
-all those yokes who never say please or thank you

eh2010 · 01-09-2015 06:58PM

I agree with many of the posts here. I have like a gut feeling like an early warning system for ****. You can tell usually from their laugh. I hate:
Generally Irish people who use Americanisms . UCC is full of the tools.
People who are full of themselves and talk about themselves all the time
People who tweet/ facebook /every little minutiae of their lives
People who take selfies

DanielODonnell · 01-09-2015 07:03PM

Littlehorny wrote: »

Any man who has been on the dole his whole adult life, whether your in your 20s or your 60s and you haven't held down some kind of job, this doesn't make you a lad or a rebel. Your just a bone idle useless wanker!!!

but at least they haven't spent their whole lives lining the pockets of their boss, i say that as someone who has a job

Paramite Pie · 01-09-2015 07:12PM

Reading this thread I realise just how fickle people really are.

I have a beard occasionally (it doesn't take long to grow one) but I honestly have never owned a pair of skinny jeans, don't dress like a lumber jack or drink in Starbucks. I don't have a twitter or instagram.

Honestly, I'd be tempted to play up to these stereotypes just to piss people off more!! May as well carry around a protein shaker as well and talk about my "gains". Through in some beats-by-dre and get a job at a multinational.

Yer heads will explode.:)

Birneybau · 01-09-2015 07:15PM

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

People who have no clue what espadrilles are and resort to looking it up on the internet like some sort of idiot.

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

People who have a poor understanding of the differences between the various Mexican breads and flat-breads.

Hit the nail right on the head there. Those people are the worst!

jca · 01-09-2015 07:16PM

Playboy wrote: »

not the quickest are you?

humour on Boards. .. Sorry about that, being such a rare beast and all....

rafa05 · 01-09-2015 07:20PM

Men who take selfies of themselves and post on Facebook etc.
Conor mcGregor breard wearing wanker types
People who use the word Awesome
Attention whores
People that wear sunglasses in nightclubs, bars
Fat people who post about their annual January diets and gym routines(Fat ****)
drama queens
Bandwagon Jumpers AKA Conor Mcgregor fans

Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

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