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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username · 2015-08-31 16:37:03

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.) 1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to…

31-08-2015 05:37PM

#1

Boring username

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What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

Post edited by JupiterKid on March 2023

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#2 31-08-2015 05:38PM

Sh1tbag OToole

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Boring username wrote: »

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

Revert back to you

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#3 31-08-2015 05:38PM

sabat

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Whiteboys with dreadlocks

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#4 31-08-2015 05:39PM

dudara

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Someone who walks through a door and doesn't check if there's someone behind them, or doesn't make sure the door is shut after them

People who treat waitstaff and customer service people badly. Or doesn't even say thank you.

These are simple things, but they stand out to me about a person

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#5 31-08-2015 05:40PM

OneOfThem

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They use the word 'tosser'.

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#6 31-08-2015 05:40PM

Boring username

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sabat wrote: »

Whiteboys with dreadlocks

Often accompanied by #1 and a faint whiff of stale urine, similar to that of a gone off bag of wheelies crisps in a way.

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#7 31-08-2015 05:40PM

Menas

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People who use the word 'entitled' a lot.

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#8 31-08-2015 05:44PM

darkpagandeath

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Skinny jeans, Basically anyone who is a hipster.

Anyone who has moved from an urban area to a one off in the country.

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#9 31-08-2015 05:44PM

Kev W

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Use of the words/phrases:

"proselytising"
"simples"
"rant over"
"back in my day"
"feminazi"
"I'm Ryan Tubridy"

Or any and all Simpsons quotes in any context.

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#10 31-08-2015 05:45PM

Boring username

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dudara wrote: »

Someone who walks through a door and doesn't check if there's someone behind them, or doesn't make sure the door is shut after them

People who treat waitstaff and customer service people badly. Or doesn't even say thank you.

These are simple things, but they stand out to me about a person

Oh damn that's a great one, I should have added that in the OP. Probably THE biggest reveal of a persons character ever, along with how they treat animals. I should take them to this restaurant:

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#11 31-08-2015 05:46PM

Lukker-

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Low cut v necks.

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#12 31-08-2015 05:47PM

Galwayguy35

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There were a few young fellas standing on the footpath and wouldn't move to let an old woman through, she had to walk on to the road.

If they weren't **** and tossers I don't know who is.

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#13 31-08-2015 05:48PM

suicide_circus

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Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Revert back to you

The next semiliterate windbag to revert back to me will get stabbed in the throat.

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#14 31-08-2015 05:48PM

Into The Blue

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The lanyard brigade.. Ye know who ye are..
Usually accompanied by 'borrowed my father's suit till i can afford my own' man..

These tossers, who themselves work for minimum wage, will look down on anyone who's parents earn less than 100k pa.

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#15 31-08-2015 05:49PM

The_Valeyard

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Kev W wrote: »

Use of the words/phrases:

Or any and all Simpsons quotes in any context.

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?

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#16 31-08-2015 05:50PM

desertcircus

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The use of the term SJW in a negative sense.

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#17 31-08-2015 05:50PM

kfallon

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People who talk about their 'gains' in the gym :rolleyes:

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#18 31-08-2015 05:51PM

OldMrBrennan83

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This post has been deleted.

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#19 31-08-2015 05:52PM

professore

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In terms of a quality thread, I'm going to follow this one going forward.

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#20 31-08-2015 05:53PM

Boring username

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Galwayguy35 wrote: »

There were a few young fellas standing on the footpath and wouldn't move to let an old woman through, she had to walk on to the road.

If they weren't **** and tossers I don't know who is.

Yeah some people let us down during the Queen's visit, that's for sure.

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#21 31-08-2015 05:55PM

BoJack Horseman

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Wearing hats..... All the time, indoor & out...

In addition, anyone wearing a trilby or a fedora, with casual attire is a grade-A wanker.

(Probably why we see it so much in wankery ads aching to appeal to milenials)

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#22 31-08-2015 05:55PM

NotCominBack

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Patww79 wrote: »

#3 for sure. I'm so glad I'll never set foot inside an American multinational again.

Awesome

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#23 31-08-2015 05:56PM

darkpagandeath

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desertcircus wrote: »

The use of the term SJW in a negative sense.

When was the Term ever a positive one ?

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#24 31-08-2015 05:56PM

OldMrBrennan83

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This post has been deleted.

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#25 31-08-2015 05:56PM

HalloweenJack

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People who use 'liberal' as an insult, they also usually whinge about SJWs and 'PC brigades'. ****in' tards.

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#26 31-08-2015 05:58PM

professore

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People who slavishly follow some ideology/group unquestioningly and don't admit that life is not black and white but shades of grey and think anyone who doesn't agree 100% with their guru of choice is somehow inferior / mass murderer / an idiot.

Examples : feminism, pro life movement, pro choice movement, gay pride (how is it tasteful to parade around a city centre in nothing but a thong), water charge protesters, fad diet followers, alternative cancer treatments, and so on and so forth.

That's my insulting of 95% of boardsies done for another year

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#27 31-08-2015 05:59PM

Boring username

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HalloweenJack wrote: »

People who use 'liberal' as an insult, they also usually whinge about SJWs and 'PC brigades'. ****in' tards.

I would draw your attention to this thread Sir:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057485675

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#28 31-08-2015 05:59PM

BoJack Horseman

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Had to lookup what 'SJW' was.

****.

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#29 31-08-2015 05:59PM

The Backwards Man

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You don't really have to try too hard to spot a wanker, they usually reveal themselves in a fairly short space of time.

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#30 31-08-2015 06:00PM

Junkyard Tom

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Anyone with a functioning hand that can reach their groin area.

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#31 31-08-2015 06:00PM

Aenaes

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When they call you "mate".

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