Pocket money

frozenfrozen · 21-08-2015 05:11PM

PTH2009 wrote: »

it really depends on the financial situation of the family. i started work in 2008 while my mother and father were unemployed. when i was in college i was getting the grant/BTEA so i had to pay from that for up keep at home etc until college finished and i was only living on my wages. My mam passed away last year so that was money gone from the house and im the only one working now in the house other siblings have homes/kids etc.

I'm not talking down on anyone who contributes money to their keep, the kind I'm talking about is people who have a chip on their shoulder because they were forced to and act like those who didn't have to are some kind of spoiled brat leeches

fair play and all that for what you've done, didn't mean to make it seem like I was saying you were doing anything wrong

21-08-2015 05:19PM

frozenfrozen wrote: »

What I'm talking about is the weird relationship where parents actually do the pay or get out thing, like some sort of business transaction. It's just so far away from my idea of a healthy relationship where the kids are in a position where their parents think they're leeching from them or they actually are leeching from their parents.

Meanwhile those kinds of people have a chip on their shoulder about others getting money from their parents or not having to pay 'rent' when in reality that's a much more favourable position as long as there is no abuse or 'leeching'

+1 I find the concept of paying rent to live at home (a concept I never knew existed until I read about it in AH) totally bizarre.

FTA69 · 21-08-2015 05:22PM

Ridge Fierce Roofing wrote: »

I don't think pocket money is the right way of putting it anyway if parents give you money to help you out.

I don't get regular money but I know if I was/am ever stuck for money they will help me instantly. Also my parents would never allow us (me or my siblings) to pay for meals, drinks etc if we are out or pay for accommodation if we were away together.

Also they would do stuff like go up and pay for clothes if I was out shopping and they were there or arrive home with random presents etc (often clothes).

So you're a grown man with a good wage and you allow your parents to constantly buy you clothes and drink? Jesus, I'd actually die of shame. The mammied Irish son is alive and well anyway.

frozenfrozen · 21-08-2015 05:25PM

Ridge Fierce Roofing wrote: »

+1 I find the concept of paying rent to live at home (a concept I never knew existed until I read about it in AH) totally bizarre.

I had also never heard of paying rent to parents until boards. I was aware of the stigma against 'staying at home with mammy' from people who moved out for college but still bring their washing home for it to be done, and they live like a child in a dirty college digs where everyone refuses to clean the sink because they never did it at home

there's another reply with this 'mammied' crap, because the grown up thing to do is to cut your parents out of your life and be offended if they want to be nice to you. talk about repressed emotions...

Vandango · 21-08-2015 05:42PM

smash wrote: »

I've never met a 25yr old with 10's of thousands in savings.

You've never met my brother.

lazybones32 · 21-08-2015 05:51PM

PTH2009 wrote: »

Do u find it unusual that grown adults with jobs still get pocket money off there parents ???

Not if you've got a proper 'double-barrel' surname. If you're one of the Remington-Stone's, Harley-Foxford's or the Richmond-Wells then it's acceptable to receive a stipend from Pater or Mater.

rubadub · 21-08-2015 06:21PM

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

Why would they need pocket money if they're earning?

They could be on minimum wage, the parents could be absolutely minted and want to see their children enjoy themselves. Rather than wait until they die and leave it as inheritance I could fully understand some wanting to give it when they are still alive and see the kids enjoy it, and possibly grandkids.

If people win the lottery you hear of them giving handouts to friends & relatives, many parents could have far more than a lottery win in the bank doing nothing, so much they don't know what to do with it or would not spend it themselves unless they did what they might consider squandering.

Many parents will pay towards a deposit on a house etc. I think all of this is quite normal, what is odd is calling it "pocket money", I really don't see much difference if it is a weekly thing, or once a decade, just sounds odd as "pocket money" sounds immature/childish.

catsbanter · 21-08-2015 07:45PM

Going by some people in this thread once you turn 18 parents shud not do a thing for ya and you should not even accept a Christmas present from them. If you do you should feel shame and be mortified and never step foot in public again and be sentenced to 100 lashes.

I don't live at home anymore but parents did help me out when I started my career in Dublin if I was a big short the end of month. I know they have a deposit on a house for me as well whenever I feel like buying.

Penny Tration · 21-08-2015 08:00PM

Ridge Fierce Roofing wrote: »

+1 I find the concept of paying rent to live at home (a concept I never knew existed until I read about it in AH) totally bizarre.

It's not actually paying rent, though.

It's contributing to the additional costs your parents incur by having you there - electricity, heating, food, etc.

It's grossly unfair to assume you should move home and not contribute, if you're in a position to do so.

catsbanter · 21-08-2015 08:04PM

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

It's not actually paying rent, though.

It's contributing to the additional costs your parents incur by having you there - electricity, heating, food, etc.

It's grossly unfair to assume you should move home and not contribute, if you're in a position to do so.

Most parents won't take their kids money if in a decent financial position, or if they do will put it all in a savings account in your own name for you without telling you.

Menas · 21-08-2015 08:07PM

catsbanter wrote: »

Most parents won't take their kids money if in a decent financial position, or if they do will put it all in a savings account in your own name for you without telling you.

Most parents? Where did you get that from?

frozenfrozen · 21-08-2015 08:08PM

everyone is different the end

Squidgy Black · 21-08-2015 08:10PM

I'm only 20, still in college and only working part time, but I pay rent to my parents and cover the phone/tv/internet bill, also pay all of my own bills such as mobile, car insurance etc. It's only fair really, once you're 18 and you can fend for yourself you should be at least making some sort of contribution.

Girl I work with is 23, out of school since she's 16, never paid a penny to her parents, they pay for her holidays, her bills etc, always giving her money to go out, still making her bed and doing her washing/ironing, picking her up like a tazi service. Personally I wouldn't be able to do it, my parents don't owe me anything, if anything it's the opposite.

catsbanter · 21-08-2015 08:25PM

Nothing against anyone whose parents don't want rent/bills money and help out their children.

If the parents wants rent and their child won't contribute then should be thrown out!

catsbanter · 21-08-2015 08:26PM

_Tyrrell_ wrote: »

I'm only 20, still in college and only working part time, but I pay rent to my parents and cover the phone/tv/internet bill, also pay all of my own bills such as mobile, car insurance etc. It's only fair really, once you're 18 and you can fend for yourself you should be at least making some sort of contribution.

Girl I work with is 23, out of school since she's 16, never paid a penny to her parents, they pay for her holidays, her bills etc, always giving her money to go out, still making her bed and doing her washing/ironing, picking her up like a tazi service. Personally I wouldn't be able to do it, my parents don't owe me anything, if anything it's the opposite.

If the parents have the money then who are you to criticizes this? Maybe the parents don't want a donation from her!

21-08-2015 08:59PM

FTA69 wrote: »

So you're a grown man with a good wage and you allow your parents to constantly buy you clothes and drink? Jesus, I'd actually die of shame. The mammied Irish son is alive and well anyway.

Where did I say constantly? Now and again not regularly and its not like I'm asking I'm not given a choice in the matter. I don't see the shame in it at all, they like to treat us when the opportunity arises. Some people appear to think all ties should be cut the minute you turn 18 :rolleyes:

I also help out a lot on the farm at home in my free time which is a lot of help to them and it involves travelling driving a fair distance for me.

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

It's not actually paying rent, though.

It's contributing to the additional costs your parents incur by having you there - electricity, heating, food, etc.

It's grossly unfair to assume you should move home and not contribute, if you're in a position to do so.

There is a big difference between putting a bill in your name and doing the shopping some of the time which I would see as normal and handing over a few 100 a month every month as if you were renting a room in a houseshare. Maybe I find it so strange as the concept would be just as ridiculous to my parents as myself, if I tried to pay rent they wouldn't accept it in a fit.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 21-08-2015 09:16PM

I think many here will change their attitude when they have grown children of their own and have the means to help them when they are starting adult life.

freshpopcorn · 21-08-2015 09:16PM

If somebody lives at home and doesn't contribute. I don't see the issue once the parents can afford it and the their child doesn't rub people's face in it.
If somebody lives at home and pays their own way. I don't care as long as they don't go on about it "I got my first part time job and I've to give up my keep every week or else I'd be out the door."
Once people are happy in their situation. I don't really care as long as they don't brag about it or moan about it.

Squidgy Black · 21-08-2015 09:50PM

catsbanter wrote: »

If the parents have the money then who are you to criticizes this? Maybe the parents don't want a donation from her!

Because she's a fully grown adult who's more than capable of making a living for herself and doesn't need handouts and to live in the lap of luxury from mammy and daddy?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 21-08-2015 09:54PM

_Tyrrell_ wrote: »

Because she's a fully grown adult who's more than capable of making a living for herself and doesn't need handouts and to live in the lap of luxury from mammy and daddy?

But, so what if she does? If that's someone's lifestyle then leave them to it. It's not harming you. If all parties to the situation are perfectly happy with it then don't begrudge them.

freshpopcorn · 21-08-2015 09:54PM

_Tyrrell_ wrote: »

Because she's a fully grown adult who's more than capable of making a living for herself and doesn't need handouts and to live in the lap of luxury from mammy and daddy?

It's the parents money tough. They can do what ever they want with it.

21-08-2015 10:02PM

My Mother doesn't give me any money because she doesn't really have any money. She hasn't really given me any money since I was about 17. These days I earn about double what she does, so I give her money.

I used to always be annoyed at my friends getting money from their parents. Kind of shocked me really as I would never dream of asking for money from my parents once I earn it myself, even just from a part time job while in college. But most of my friend's parents are loaded so they can afford it, think I was always just a bit jealous really!

John_Rambo · 22-08-2015 12:58AM

Ridge Fierce Roofing wrote: »

I don't think pocket money is the right way of putting it anyway if parents give you money to help you out. I don't get regular money but I know if I was/am ever stuck for money they will help me instantly.

Agreed. If I lost my job or got sick they'd do their best to help. I'd accept it gratefully and do my best to pay them back when I'm back on my feet.

Ridge Fierce Roofing wrote: »

Also my parents would never allow us (me or my siblings) to pay for meals, drinks etc if we are out or pay for accommodation if we were away together.

Ok, maybe the odd meal. I'd be inclined to get them back, return the favour. Regarding the accommodation, I'd be of the habit of paying for myself. My folks are retired. I'd bring them out for food more times than they'd bring me out.

Ridge Fierce Roofing wrote: »

Also they would do stuff like go up and pay for clothes if I was out shopping and they were there or arrive home with random presents etc (often clothes).

I dress myself. My wife wouldn't even buy clothes for me, my parents haven't brought clothes for me since I was seventeen. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm an adult. I'd be fairly miffed if I chose a suit and my ma went to pay. That's weird.

Every family has different dynamics. Nox, you help out in the family farm and you're folks probably get pleasure indulging you after you're hard work on the farm. It's their way of paying you for hard graft. Fair play to you, you live miles away, you have a regular job and you probably do the stuff they find difficult to do. And... if your folks have a few quid, where better to send it than your kids. I'd do the same. (I won't be buying them clothes though

)

I've come across a few weird (and nox, this isn't aimed at you) cases of adult kids benefiting from big parental investments like houses, cash, land and excusing it by claiming "sure it's my inheritance anyway" I've a few friends that aren't willing to buy a house and pave their own way in life as their waiting for the family house to come available... it uncomfortably bangs of waiting for the folks to die off! I know one young farmer that took over the family farm, moved in with the girlfriend and informed his female siblings that they were welcome to "stay over" in his house! The family home! The ma still lives in the house. :eek:

tigerboon · 22-08-2015 01:42AM

_Tyrrell_ wrote: »

I'm only 20, still in college and only working part time, but I pay rent to my parents and cover the phone/tv/internet bill, also pay all of my own bills such as mobile, car insurance etc. It's only fair really, once you're 18 and you can fend for yourself you should be at least.

I'm more than twice your age but you're the only one so far on this thread that has a bit of self respect. When I was at college in the early 90's everyone fended for themselves by part time jobs etc. You have to be one useless bollix to be leeching off parents into your late 20s

tigerboon · 22-08-2015 01:48AM

Bridget Orange Keynote wrote: »

I think many here will change their attitude when they have grown children of their own and have the means to help them when they are starting adult life.

My children will be reared so they are able to stand on their own two feet. I might have a backup for them but they won't know about it

Midkemia · 22-08-2015 02:27AM

You'd have to be holding down a serious part time job to get through college without your parents financial support.

Squidgy Black · 22-08-2015 02:35AM

Midkemia wrote: »

You'd have to be holding down a serious part time job to get through college without your parents financial support.

Not really. Fees are 3000 a year, make that over the summer easily with a bit of saving and extra hours. 20 hours a week during the semester.

Midkemia · 22-08-2015 03:02AM

_Tyrrell_ wrote: »

Not really. Fees are 3000 a year, make that over the summer easily with a bit of saving and extra hours. 20 hours a week during the semester.

It's doable if you live at home, but very difficult if you have to move out and pay for accommodation and your own living expenses like the majority of students.

DivingDuck · 22-08-2015 03:04AM

If people want to spend their money on their children, surely that's their own business? Many people derive great pleasure from being able to provide luxuries for their offspring the like of which they were never able to possess in their youth.

So long as the recipient of the money isn't pulling the wool over the parent's eyes ("Mammy, can you help me with a deposit for a flat" when it's actually being spent on hookers and blackjack, etc.), I can't see anything immoral, wrong, or strange about it.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 22-08-2015 09:16AM

Bridget Orange Keynote wrote: »

I think many here will change their attitude when they have grown children of their own and have the means to help them when they are starting adult life.

tigerboon wrote: »

My children will be reared so they are able to stand on their own two feet. I might have a backup for them but they won't know about it

Did I say anything to the contrary??

Pocket money

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