Wedding card post box at wedding reception

kingofbeers · 14-08-2015 01:51AM #1

Hi guys,
I was wondering what do you think of having a wedding card post box at the reception of our wedding. Do you think it is a bit cheeky or is it a good idea.

endacl · 14-08-2015 01:55AM

I think it's a tacky gimmick. But, then again, I think everything people come up with for weddings outside of ceremony-photos-pint-meal-speeches-band-dj-bit of a singsong-sleep-full irish, is a tacky gimmick.

And most of them are.

Zaph · 14-08-2015 01:58AM

We all know that people will give cards on the day, generally with presents inside, and they're very generous and thoughtful for doing so. But putting up something that pretty much demands that your guests cough up a card (and present) is a bit presumptuous imo.

whiskeyman · 14-08-2015 08:31AM

Not a good idea tbh.

PhoenixParker · 14-08-2015 08:32AM

Not a good idea. Too much risk of a card going missing.

b34mer23 · 14-08-2015 09:07AM

kingofbeers wrote: »

Hi guys,
I was wondering what do you think of having a wedding card post box at the reception of our wedding. Do you think it is a bit cheeky or is it a good idea.

There was one at a wedding I was at lately, everyone found it pretty cool. No faffing around with cards just drop it in. Did become awkward when it started filling but I'd still say it's handier to have someone from the party empty it periodically and store the cards than have to take one from everyone that arrives.

kinnikinnik5 · 14-08-2015 09:34AM

I think it's a good idea. Saves everybody trying to find the someone in the family to give the cards to. It's just easier all around. Not everybody at the wedding will know the family or who they should give the card to.

I don't think it demands anyone give you a gift, if they're already at the wedding then the presence of a card posttbox isn't going to change that fact anyway. It just makes it easier for the majority of guests who will have cards.

Realistically, you know most people will have cards with them so it's daft to pretend otherwise in the guise of being ultra polite and pretending you're not expecting any. Most people will probably be relieved to see the box where they can throw it in and not have to go looking for the right person to hand it to.
I've known people to leave a wedding with the card still in their pocket cos they simply forgot about it so at least if takes care of that duty if they can leave it in the box early on and forget about it.

podgemonster · 14-08-2015 09:46AM

I think they are a good idea if the are a proper box, seen one shaped like an old style green post box that has a lock and key. Delegate someone trustworthy to keep an eye on it, make sure that it moves from the reception to the dining room to the bridal suite with the wedding party.

I've seen groomsman sipping pints with 20-30 cards under his armpit. A lot of hotel are used to them too. Flimsy cardboard card boxes with stickers and ribbons I wouldn't recommend.

cossiem0d0 · 14-08-2015 10:36AM

I think it's a good idea because I've heard so many stories of cards going 'missing' at wedding, and it's not like you can ask people if they gave you a card (even just a card) so it all remains an unknown messy mystery. As a guest, I've preferred when card boxes are there (they're more common in the UK) because there's no messing about.

However - we're not going to have one because we don't want people to think we're being presumptuous. I think we Irish need to get over our weirdness with gifts. I'd never go to any party without bringing something, even just wine or a cake.

ElleEm · 14-08-2015 10:38AM

I prefer to actually give my gift/ card in person, so really dislike the idea of a card box.

arayess · 14-08-2015 03:16PM

ElleEm wrote: »

I prefer to actually give my gift/ card in person, so really dislike the idea of a card box.

but do you usually not give them to the best man rather than the couple , some people won't know the best man.

or in one case the best man was so drunk that I held onto the card/cash and posted them a cheque later.

byhookorbycrook · 14-08-2015 03:19PM

arayess wrote: »

but do you usually not give them to the best man rather than the couple , some people won't know the best man.

or in one case the best man was so drunk that I held onto the card/cash and posted them a cheque later.

The best man is easily identified!

stickybookmark · 14-08-2015 07:02PM

I think I'd take my chances on family memebers.....seems a bit of a risk if everyone leaves the room and the box full of cards gets left sitting there and a member of hotel staff comes in to clean .....

Wedding days can be such a tizzy for the bridal party. If a card is shoved into your hand you know you have to deal with it. If all the cards are going into a box it's easy to forget all about them adn the box as well. Most best men are 100% preoccupied with their speech and the nervousness about the speech tends to make their minds go blank for the day. I'd ask a girl (chief bm) to look after the box if you do have one

Milly33 · 15-08-2015 11:55AM

I keep toying with the idea of one too.. I think it is really handy for the couple, best man and for people as they don't have to carry the card around all day of worry about it... Then there is the idea of upsetting others as some above have replied...

annoyedgal · 15-08-2015 12:28PM

Not my cup of tea at all, looks a bit presumptuous in my opinion. Even if there was one I'd give my card to the best man or groom personally.

LynnGrace · 15-08-2015 12:34PM

I'd suggest appointing someone or two people (bridesmaid / best man/ specific family members) to ensure that all cards / gifts are stored safely. I am sure that most venues have some arrangement in place for secure storage of valuables.

I don't like the idea of a post box, personally.

Liam McPoyle · 15-08-2015 02:19PM

My two groomsmen looked after the cards. From the reception started one of them went to our room and put whatever they had been given into the safe there.

I dont think having a drop box is tacky either tbh.

You are always going to have naysayers when it comes to certain aspects of the wedding so ultimately ye should do whatever works best for ye.

Citygirl1 · 15-08-2015 04:08PM

I was at a wedding Poland a few years ago, and at the end of the ceremony, just outside the Church, the best man had a small basket to which anyone could add a card. This would have given him a chance to collect them all at once, and then put them away safely. It didn't seem any way forced, or pushy, just organised. Now, I had given my present in advance of the wedding, as I always do, but if I'd known about this, I would have saved it for the day.

I recall at my bother's wedding, presents were being stored in the safe in his room, and the best man was kept going for several hours running up and down with envelopes!

I also know that when a cousin of mine had their wedding reception at a well known wedding hotel in Kilkenny (which I won't name), a group of guests left their presents (cards, including cash) at the hotel reception, to be passed to the bride and groom. Those envelopes "disappeared" and were never located.

honerbright · 15-08-2015 05:21PM

Citygirl1 wrote: »

I also know that when a cousin of mine had their wedding reception at a well known wedding hotel in Kilkenny (which I won't name), a group of guests left their presents (cards, including cash) at the hotel reception, to be passed to the bride and groom. Those envelopes "disappeared" and were never located.

Would you mind pming me the hotel? I've a hotel in Kilkenny booked for the big day...

I like the idea of the drop-box thing, I never really thought of them as tacky or presumptuous.. More practical to keep everything together and safe but I can see how some people would.

dudara · 15-08-2015 05:27PM

I've never seen this, but I like the idea. The card would be signed with my name, so I don't feel the need to personally hand it to someone so it would be known I'd handed in my card. It would be very easy to drop the card in and get it over with. Much easier than trying to find the best man and watch him trying not to drop them.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I like it.

autumnrain · 15-08-2015 05:36PM

I was at a wedding several years ago in Germany and at the reception there were three paper maché piggy banks for cards. Labelled 'honeymoon', 'new kitchen' and something else. I was a bit shocked but people liked that they had a choice, as we'd all brought cash gifts as requested. ... not sure it'd work in Ireland!

Citygirl1 · 16-08-2015 12:08PM

honerbright wrote: »

Would you mind pming me the hotel? I've a hotel in Kilkenny booked for the big day...
.

Hi - I've sent you a PM. Noting that this incident was back in 2003, so as staff would probably have turned over many times, it should not reflect on the hotel in its current state.

However, an experience like this does serve as a general warning of the type of problem which can arise, and a warning to guests to never leave presents at reception.

skallywag · 16-08-2015 01:54PM

I think that it is a good idea and very practical.

I don't find it presumptions in the slightest. In my own experience the vast majority of wedding gifts these days are in the form of a cash gift included with the card, and I cannot see how those who wish to give a gift in another form are going to take offense from it.

The only possible down side may be securing it.

stickybookmark · 16-08-2015 02:03PM

Milly33 wrote: »

I keep toying with the idea of one too.. I think it is really handy for the couple, best man and for people as they don't have to carry the card around all day of worry about it... Then there is the idea of upsetting others as some above have replied...

But the best man/bridesmaids put the cards up in their room, they don't carry them around all day. Do your bridal party have rooms onsite?

Del2005 · 16-08-2015 02:06PM

Why not put your IBAN on the invitation? Then the money will be secure and no one has to worry about a box or collecting envelopes. Its the same as a box at the door put at least the customers will know what's expected of them.

skallywag · 16-08-2015 02:14PM

stickybookmark wrote: »

But the best man/bridesmaids put the cards up in their room, they don't carry them around all day.

It's also possible to periodically give those that you have collected to some trusted staff members who the manager points out at reception, who then in turn put them into the hotel safe, with you both then signing quickly for the handover of said amount of cards in order to have a written acknowledgment of sorts.

It saves several trips back and forth to the room, and in any case many hotels in Ireland still lack a safe in the bedroom.

Arbiter of Good Taste · 16-08-2015 03:08PM

Del2005 wrote: »

Why not put your IBAN on the invitation? Then the money will be secure and no one has to worry about a box or collecting envelopes. Its the same as a box at the door put at least the customers will know what's expected of them.

It's a genuine question. A lot of people like the idea. You don't. That's fine. No need for the snark.

BabysCoffee · 16-08-2015 04:36PM

I think it is a good idea. You could put it on the Gift Table.

Personally as a guest, the very first thing I want to do is hand over my card/gift.

westernlass · 16-08-2015 06:46PM

BabysCoffee wrote: »

I think it is a good idea. You could put it on the Gift Table.

Personally as a guest, the very first thing I want to do is hand over my card/gift.

I'm always afraid I'll forget to give the gift as I'll be drinking. I like to get it out of the way but I do prefer to hand it to a person to be sure it gets there.

stickybookmark · 16-08-2015 10:49PM

skallywag wrote: »

It's also possible to periodically give those that you have collected to some trusted staff members who the manager points out at reception, who then in turn put them into the hotel safe, with you both then signing quickly for the handover of said amount of cards in order to have a written acknowledgment of sorts.

It saves several trips back and forth to the room, and in any case many hotels in Ireland still lack a safe in the bedroom.

Personally I wouldn't involve any hotel staff. At my wedding there was cards and physically wrapped presents with cards handed to everyone from the best man to the bridesmaid to our parents to our non-wedding-party-siblings. I wasn't aware of any of this of course, but the next day I did 2 collections - one to the room of the best man & his wife and the other to the bridesmaid and her husband and despite having young kids to look after in both cases, despite stuff coming at them from all sides, everything was accounted for not a single card went missing. (fair play to them)

I trust my family over hotel staff any day. No offence to anyone working in the hotel industry. I never leave anything in a hotel safe either, I find a place to stash it in the hotel room or else I keep my valuables with me

Toots · 17-08-2015 02:10AM

Del2005 if you've nothing constructive to contribute to the thread then please refrain from posting.

Wedding card post box at wedding reception

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