How many true friends do you have?

TallGlass · 24-07-2015 11:38PM #1

So growing older and all that, I have met many people over the years and just lost touch with people etc..

Then I have had 'friends' who at the time seemed like great people, but looking back on these friends now who are no where to be seen, I would love to go back in time and give them a nice smack in the jaw to be honest.

So recently, I find myself thinking. Jaysis I don't really have that many friends as before or more to the fact I have gotten wiser (or am just a boring bastard) and can just see people for what they are. I used to be a person, talk to anyone give them a chance talk to them, become 'friends'. But constantly keep having this, people get to know you, then worm there way into your group of friends and then have no interest in you. It's actually got to the stage where I am thinking to myself who are my friends? I mean I know people, but been close to people I would say I have around 5 friends.

Another thing was which I found funny, this guy was telling me he was getting married etc.. I have known him a while, would always talk to him on nights out etc.. So I just thought to myself I am not invited to his wedding, why is this guy even talking to me? BTW I asked him why was I not invited, jokingly. So it made me think, do so called 'friends' just talk to you out of niceness or something.

But over the course of say 10/15 years I would have befriended maybe 30/40 people, gotten close out of that amount of people I say easily 15/20 people have done me over and at leased 7/8 deserve a good smack in the jaw.

Is this just me or is it a normal thing. I am guessing I am like an anti socialite or introvert person now where as previously I was a social bee.

risteard7 · 24-07-2015 11:40PM

One friend i know i can trust and rely on...... my dog

Schwiiing · 24-07-2015 11:43PM

tomwaterford · 24-07-2015 11:43PM

One....it's more than enough

One thing is certain....the only things people will do is let you down eventually!

Either that or I've woeful ability at making good friends....like I've a rake of people I could go out with etc/get invited to weddings and what not

But as for people I'd trust with a secret/to not let you down.... One at an absolute max two

bbsrs · 24-07-2015 11:43PM

TallGlass wrote: »

So growing older and all that, I have met many people over the years and just lost touch with people etc..

Then I have had 'friends' who at the time seemed like great people, but looking back on these friends now who are no where to be seen, I would love to go back in time and give them a nice smack in the jaw to be honest.

So recently, I find myself thinking. Jaysis I don't really have that many friends as before or more to the fact I have gotten wiser (or am just a boring bastard) and can just see people for what they are. I used to be a person, talk to anyone give them a chance talk to them, become 'friends'. But constantly keep having this, people get to know you, then worm there way into your group of friends and then have no interest in you. It's actually got to the stage where I am thinking to myself who are my friends? I mean I know people, but been close to people I would say I have around 5 friends.

Another thing was which I found funny, this guy was telling me he was getting married etc.. I have known him a while, would always talk to him on nights out etc.. So I just thought to myself I am not invited to his wedding, why is this guy even talking to me? BTW I asked him why was I not invited, jokingly. So it made me think, do so called 'friends' just talk to you out of niceness or something.

But over the course of say 10/15 years I would have befriended maybe 30/40 people, gotten close out of that amount of people I say easily 15/20 people have done me over and at leased 7/8 deserve a good smack in the jaw.

Is this just me or is it a normal thing. I am guessing I am like an anti socialite or introvert person now where as previously I was a social bee.

Nothing odd there mare, that's just life.

24-07-2015 11:44PM

I have 4 true real ' best friends' we are friends since we were 11 or 12. (Nearly 40 now!)
I have met many friends over the years but these are the only 4 that I trust 100%, and they know everything about me and do not judge.
And I would never judge them.

I love them!!!!

padraig.od · 24-07-2015 11:44PM

1

bur · 24-07-2015 11:45PM

Had one, but he died in the last year. Don't think i'll find another.

RayM · 24-07-2015 11:46PM

A good friend will help you move, but a true friend will help you move a body.

I have two true friends.

FortySeven · 24-07-2015 11:47PM

None. When the chips are down the only person you can rely on is yourself.

vicwatson · 24-07-2015 11:49PM

Sweet fa.

AMKC · 24-07-2015 11:52PM

Its not easy to have friends who you can really trust. They are like a relationship but less intimate. Some people are lucky and can make friends easily or have life long friends and then there is more who have to really work at it. 5 friends is good. To have friends you have to be a friend. I think women make friends and have friends much longer than men. They talk more maybe men should talk more too.

AMKC · 24-07-2015 11:54PM

@bur Awe thats sad sorry to hear that.

Wibbs · 24-07-2015 11:58PM

More than I deserve to. Go me.

24-07-2015 11:58PM

1

Grandeeod · 25-07-2015 12:00AM

I have 3. My Dad. My wife and my bestman, a friend since I was 17. I'd trust all 3 with my life. That does me. **** facebook!

Capt'n Midnight · 25-07-2015 12:00AM

Champagne for my real friends.

Real pain for my sham friends.

TallGlass · 25-07-2015 12:01AM

Alot of people saying they have 0, surprised at this been honest.

I would wonder if the people who seem to be really social could say they have many real friends, in my experience with people who are really popular they have equally pissed off maybe the same amount of people.

Could you call it a social ladder?

Like I have no problem walking into a room with a group of people who would know each other really well, introducing myself but other than that I would wait until others decided to talk to me, otherwise I would sit in silence. (It's actually doing this, I discover who is good to befriend)

Now previously, if it was the other way around, and I was close with everyone I would talk to the person make them feel welcome etc.. There was one guy in work, who told me because I spoke to him and befriended him, that it was the only reason he stay on and was there 6/7 years later. He would be one of the five friends, a distant one but one I could count on.

Gi joe! · 25-07-2015 12:07AM

Well I'm only 25 and honestly the only amount of 'true' friends I would say I have is 3/4 max. True in the sense of the word that if I was in serious trouble they would be there for me and vice versa. At the same time I would have a fair few casual friends where we'd meet for a drink and have a bit of fun, but nothing beyond that.

I feel your pain OP; it can be tough when realizing just how shallow a lot of your relationships are with people. I think Western Culture and our advertising in particular play a part in this; we associate fun and good times with being with other people when in reality I think there is a lot of superficiality with being a social butterfly and having a ton of people to hang out with, but never actually getting to know the person well enough where you would feel comfortable letting your guard down.

It would very much be a case of quality over quantity for me anyway. (Read a study where we have humans can only handle up to 150 relationships at any one time). I think there would be merit to this as a couple of relationships for me anyway are enough to deal with as it is!

Jotunheim · 25-07-2015 12:09AM

Jaysis OP, it's all boxes in the jaw and demanding to know why you''re not invited to weddings, 'tis a wonder you've any friends at all.

For me, 3 or 4 I'd trust my life to, twice that for drinking mates and then a great family. That makes me very lucky I think.

upandcumming · 25-07-2015 12:12AM

RayM wrote:

A good friend will help you move, but a true friend will help you move a body.

I really like this. Three I'd say. At the max.

Spudmonkey · 25-07-2015 12:13AM

Probably 2-3. Don't even talk with them that often but when I do meet them its like I met them yesterday. Have a complete lack of inertia so making friends and keeping contact with people is more work than I'm willing to put in.

Capt'n Midnight · 25-07-2015 12:14AM

you can use this simple test to help count

Friends help you move.

Real friends help you move bodies.

HardenendMan · 25-07-2015 12:15AM

Honestly...only the 2. Both from secondary school. Real friends that I would always be in touch with no matter where in the world we are.

Oh and of course the wife. I have a great friendship with her. And she lets me touch her bum in bed for a good 10 seconds before growling.

TallGlass · 25-07-2015 12:15AM

Jotunheim wrote: »

Jaysis OP, it's all boxes in the jaw and demanding to know why you''re not invited to weddings, 'tis a wonder you've any friends at all.

Well in fairness, he started blabbing on about his wedding, why wouldn't I ask about it? I don't know much about weddings either to know if there was a selection process. It was more merely to point out how strange it was to bring up talk about his wedding with someone who is not invited. I couldn't care less if I was there or not, weddings are over rated IMO.

As for the boxes in the jaw, there are in my mind. I could act them out, but I rather not. I'm sure they haven't changed much and they will get a box off someone else. It might not be a physical box but maybe a box in other regards.

There's only so many people you can piss off.

TallGlass · 25-07-2015 12:16AM

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

you can use this simple test to help count

Friends help you move.

Real friends help you move bodies.

That's been said twice now ! I am thinking I should start another thread :pac:

HardenendMan · 25-07-2015 12:20AM

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

you can use this simple test to help count

Friends help you move.

Real friends help you move bodies.

That's a good discussion topic. If a true friend came to you and said he killed someone and the body is in the boot of the car. And lets say it was slightly accidental and not his wife or anything.

Would folks go to the cops, don't help but keep the secret, or help him bury the body?

fergiesfolly · 25-07-2015 12:22AM

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Champagne for my real friends.

Real pain for my sham friends.

Now, I was thinking the exact opposite.

I am blessed with four proper friends.
One passed away a few years ago and I still cry for him occasionally.

TallGlass · 25-07-2015 12:25AM

HardenendMan wrote: »

That's a good discussion topic. If a true friend came to you and said he killed someone and the body is in the boot of the car. And lets say it was slightly accidental and not his wife or anything.

Would folks go to the cops, don't help but keep the secret, or help him bury the body?

I'm not sure how I would feel about this been honest, there's alot more than helping bury a body.

My main concern would be; will they try kill me.

I think a more realistic one would be, a friend is someone who get's you out of the Garda station, a true friend is one who is in the Garda station with you.

HardenendMan · 25-07-2015 12:28AM

TallGlass wrote: »

I'm not sure how I would feel about this been honest, there's alot more than helping bury a body.

My main concern would be; will they try kill me.

Well lets assume that you are sure they wouldn't kill you.

Jotunheim · 25-07-2015 12:37AM

TallGlass wrote: »

Well in fairness, he started blabbing on about his wedding, why wouldn't I ask about it? I don't know much about weddings either to know if there was a selection process.

People talk about their weddings because they're important to them and you listen out of friendship and manners, not because it should be a precursor to an invite. Say you were joking and couldn't care less all you like, but it was uncool to ask and it wasn't really a joke and you do really care.

How many true friends do you have?

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