Would you go to a wedding without giving a gift?

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:04PM

purplecow1977 wrote: »

I disagree.

At least with cash, the couple can spend it any way they wish.

Getting a gift, without knowing exactly what the couple like/dislike, can be risky, so I would avoid buying an expensive gift for a couple in most cases.

Everyone appreciates money! Not everyone appreciates tacky photo frames!

Yes but everyone appreciates kettles and toasters! I'm telling you, it's the ideal gift!

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:05PM

The_Captain wrote: »

The 'gift' is basically to pay for the dinner you're getting.

If I was invited to a restaurant by my friend, I wouldn't sit there and expect them to pay for it all.

Basic manners really

Not at all. Most wedding dinners are cheap and nasty (but very expensive). If you feel you must give a gift then the value should be of what the dinner is worth not what it cost. A value kettle or toaster should more than cover it.

Electric Sheep · 16-07-2015 04:07PM

mayway wrote: »

Not at all. Most wedding dinners are cheap and nasty (but very expensive). If you feel you must give a gift then the value should be of what the dinner is worth not what it cost. A value kettle or toaster should more than cover it.

You've kind of worn out that joke by now, I'm afraid.

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:12PM

waffleman wrote: »

Look back at the thread and you will soon see - I'm not goin through pickin out the quotes for you because you havent read it or dont remember.

So you give 150 as a couple - excellent in that case my post is not aimed at you.

I dont agree with tellin people a set amount either - but it is quite obvious at this point you havent read this thread or you are ignoring previous posts. My stance is people should give a gift/cash (dont be tight) or make your excuses and stay at home.

People tellin everyone they wouldnt mind not gettin a gift from a few people is irrelevant - why should everyone else subsidise a few chancers who want to be wined and dined at weddings and give nothin?

No, no, no, no, no!! This is exactly the point! You're not subsidising the people at the wedding you're subsidising the bridezilla and her hopeless partner.

Just because they want to throw a lavish party that they can't afford is their problem. Under no circumstance should any invitee feel compelled to shell out cash as a result.

The more lavish a do I'm invited to the less the value of the gift that I would give because CLEARLY if they've dropped €150 a head for a wedding they are very well off. And more well off than me! A carefully selected white value range kettle or toaster from Argos is the appropriate gift choice under these circumstances.

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:12PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

You've kind of worn out that joke by now, I'm afraid.

You're right. Time to move on...... Still funny though.

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:15PM

Sam Kade wrote: »

There are some mean cnuts out there I'd say every wedding have their fair share of them. My brother got a fiver in a card and a neighbour got a tea set and thought it was lovely. She wanted more of the set because it was small so she took a piece of the set to Cork and asked around the shops if they sold them. One shop she went to she was told that they were a set that they were giving free with any purchase over a certain amount.

LOL! Now that is classic! I'd love to have seen her face when she found out.

Also, regarding the fiver, that's a substantial cash amount. Not to be sniffed at!

Galway K9 · 16-07-2015 04:17PM

Frynge wrote: »

I would request a specific gift from each person I invite such as a mixer or a bike for my child. I would also ask certain people to give extra gifts if they have certain skills like maybe ask one person to make cupcakes or someone else to do a painting for me.

So really hot girl, what gift would a guy request of her?

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:19PM

What about cheap sex toys? Is there ever a case when they're appropriate wedding gifts?

Sam Kade · 16-07-2015 04:32PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Does it matter that it was free if she thought it was lovely?

Well she told the story so she mustn't have been overly happy with the idea, you have to admit there was a touch of meanness in it.

Galway K9 · 16-07-2015 04:32PM

A big black dildo at a white supremacists wedding.

Ashbx · 16-07-2015 04:33PM

mayway wrote: »

No, no, no, no, no!! This is exactly the point! You're not subsidising the people at the wedding you're subsidising the bridezilla and her hopeless partner..

You are not subsidising the bride and groom either....they are going to get married whether you bring a gift or not. They are going to get married whether you turn up or not!

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:33PM

Sam Kade wrote: »

Well she told the story so she mustn't have been overly happy with the idea, you have to admit there was a touch of meanness in it.

And a touch of hilarity. She must have felt like a right dipstick when she found out.

nervous_twitch · 16-07-2015 04:35PM

I think it's crass. Someone mentioning spreadsheets earlier.. Christ. I didn't invite you for your cash. Make a donation elsewhere.

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:40PM

Ashbx wrote: »

You are not subsidising the bride and groom either....they are going to get married whether you bring a gift or not. They are going to get married whether you turn up or not!

I can confirm 100% that I never subsidise brides and grooms as that would be very distasteful.

waffleman · 16-07-2015 04:42PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Emily Post says wedding gifts should be given before or within 3 months of the wedding. I always give it before because I would be afraid I would forget after.

However, I don't think that most couples would be "hanging" as you put it, surely within a few weeks they would have moved on from the whole wedding madness.

Just to clarify my post was if no-one gave a gift - you think the couple would forget all about it after a few weeks? I dont think so - a total lack of respect from guests imo

You give your gift before the wedding - acceptable and proper order

This 1 year tradition is nonsense - a loophole for misers to put their gift giving on the long finger or lets be honest to try and get out of it

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:42PM

Galway K9 wrote: »

A big black dildo at a white supremacists wedding.

Sounds awesome. But that's more a present for her, is it not? Or am I being too narrow minded here.....

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:46PM

waffleman wrote: »

Just to clarify my post was if no-one gave a gift - you think the couple would forget all about it after a few weeks? I dont think so - a total lack of respect from guests imo

You give your gift before the wedding - acceptable and proper order

This 1 year tradition is nonsense - a loophole for misers to put their gift giving on the long finger or lets be honest to try and get out of it

Really, you can't expect guests to pay for these pantomimes. It's crass.

Electric Sheep · 16-07-2015 04:48PM

Sam Kade wrote: »

Well she told the story so she mustn't have been overly happy with the idea, you have to admit there was a touch of meanness in it.

I think it's odd that a tea set stopped being lovely when she found out it was free.

I guess price tags are very important to some people.

Red21 · 16-07-2015 04:50PM

The amount of 250+ weddings in Ireland is gone beyond a joke, all because of guests putting cash in cards.
Every couple is going to claim "oh not us, we wanted a large wedding and didn't even once consider the money". Yeah right!

Everyone knows full well a 30K wedding is safe venture cos the wedding costs are covered, if there were no cards flying around 95% of the so called big days would come to a halt fairly quick.

Electric Sheep · 16-07-2015 04:50PM

waffleman wrote: »

Just to clarify my post was if no-one gave a gift - you think the couple would forget all about it after a few weeks? I dont think so - a total lack of respect from guests imo

You give your gift before the wedding - acceptable and proper order

This 1 year tradition is nonsense - a loophole for misers to put their gift giving on the long finger or lets be honest to try and get out of it

If no one gave a gift I would definitely wonder what I had done to offend everybody that much.

Galway K9 · 16-07-2015 04:50PM

waffleman wrote: »

Just to clarify my post was if no-one gave a gift - you think the couple would forget all about it after a few weeks? I dont think so - a total lack of respect from guests imo

You give your gift before the wedding - acceptable and proper order

This 1 year tradition is nonsense - a loophole for misers to put their gift giving on the long finger or lets be honest to try and get out of it

What your saying here is exactly what your username is.

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:50PM

Most normal couples set up a gift list. If they don't it either means that they want cash or they don't want anything. Either way they get nothing from me.

If they have a gift list then I usually look for the cheapest item. Once, my cousin was getting married in London and their gift list was set up in a department store over there. I couldn't find anything cheap enough so just ordered up a 99p plastic jug and that was it.

Everyone thought it was really funny and I only had to part with 99p for the present so everyone was a winner!

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:51PM

Red21 wrote: »

The amount of 250+ weddings in Ireland is gone beyond a joke, all because of guests putting cash in cards.
Every couple is going to claim "oh not us, we wanted a large wedding and didn't even once consider the money". Yeah right!

Everyone knows full well a 30K wedding is safe venture cos the wedding costs are covered, if there were no cards flying around 95% of the so called big days would come to a halt fairly quick.

Guests need to wise up if you ask me. Nothing screams "scumbag" more than putting crass cash in cards.

mayway · 16-07-2015 04:54PM

For what it's worth I once heard of a best man who lifted over €1,000 out of the cards that he was handed. No one noticed.

IHe had a great time as I understand it.

Galway K9 · 16-07-2015 04:56PM

mayway wrote: »

For what it's worth I once heard of a best man who lifted over €1,000 out of the cards that he was handed. No one noticed.

IHe had a great time as I understand it.

Proper Order!

steddyeddy · 16-07-2015 05:01PM

Ashbx wrote: »

You are not subsidising the bride and groom either....they are going to get married whether you bring a gift or not. They are going to get married whether you turn up or not!

There seems to be a misunderstanding that everyone is delighted to drop everything and spend a lot of money of going to a wedding. The last wedding invite I got to was when I was writing my thesis. It was a wedding over a thousand miles away and I was stuck for time, money and it was a major inconvenience. I managed to get a good (expensive present for the gold diggers) because I had the money to do it. Had I not had the money to get a gift I wouldn't have felt bad for traveling over a thousand miles while taking time out from my thesis to go to a good friend's wedding.

purplecow1977 · 16-07-2015 05:08PM

mayway wrote: »

Most normal couples set up a gift list. If they don't it either means that they want cash or they don't want anything. Either way they get nothing from me.

If they have a gift list then I usually look for the cheapest item. Once, my cousin was getting married in London and their gift list was set up in a department store over there. I couldn't find anything cheap enough so just ordered up a 99p plastic jug and that was it.

Everyone thought it was really funny and I only had to part with 99p for the present so everyone was a winner!

Why?

Why would you purposely get the cheapest item?

waffleman · 16-07-2015 05:08PM

Galway K9 wrote: »

What your saying here is exactly what your username is.

My apologies - I guess I should join you and post about black dildos and white supremacists.

The_Captain · 16-07-2015 05:09PM

mayway wrote: »

I can confirm 100% that I never subsidise brides and grooms as that would be very distasteful.

Don't worry, I'm sure some day you'll get an invite to a social event.

purplecow1977 · 16-07-2015 05:10PM

The_Captain wrote: »

Don't worry, I'm sure some day you'll get an invite to a social event.

I wouldn't be so sure, judging by previous comments! And it's probably for the best!! That sort of attendee won't be missed!

Would you go to a wedding without giving a gift?

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