Stories/Memorable moments from secondary school

Fitz* · 08-07-2015 12:00PM

To signal the end of every class, we had this alarm type bell that was played through speakers in every room. We had all just got mobile phones, around 2005ish so one day one lad skipped class and recorded the bell from right up against the speaker so it was a quite loud recording. The recording was sent on over the course of time to other people with phones etc and then used to play the bell from our phone whenever we wanted to get out of class early.

nullzero · 08-07-2015 12:36PM

fiachr_a wrote: »

Got asked in school is there a guy in my street whose dad had a certain business. They meant me but there was another guy like that there so I said his name. He used to stand outside his house staring at me in shock on the way home from school. A few years later he drowned.

Yeahr but no but Yeahr but no but

Knasher · 08-07-2015 01:03PM

One of the our teachers used to play a prank on any student that fell asleep in the middle of class. He would allow the student to sleep for the entire class, and when it ended he would ask the class to very quietly leave the room. Then he would get the next class to quietly file in, and continue teaching them as if nothing was amiss. Then about 20 minutes into the class, he would finally wake them.

TheBiz · 08-07-2015 01:15PM

We built a fort once..
We have a stage in our gym and we had these big rectangular boxes (thy you could put people under but that's beside the point) and the lads in 5th and leaving cert at the time decided to barricade ourselfs in on stage.
When we did it we left a little gap that one lad would sit and talk to those outside.
This was done at break and when the teachers came to get us to class no one budged.
So we ended up missing a class because we built a fort and one of the lads was negotiating a deal with the teachers so it ended that we would come out and go to class if we didn't get in trouble!

The next day the boxes were nailed to the ground.

blackwhite · 08-07-2015 01:28PM

razorblunt wrote: »

We were on a school tour in 2000 to Barcelona, we had picked up pellet guns on the Rambles and were running around the hotel acting like SWAT teams.
The next day we were heading home through Paris and the teachers had obviously got wind of the commotio (most of them went out for sneaky pints).
A black bag was put at the top of the bus and a general amnsesty was declared to hand the guns in. 4 bin liners were filled including Uzi type ones, sniper rifles ... the whole lot.
We only ever got back the small guns.

We had similar on our school tour to Italy - except the teachers tried to be sound about it, and promised to return them to everyone once they got home to Ireland.

Of course, none of them realised the obvious flaw in their plan, which resulted in one unlucky teacher being arrested in Gatwick airport (somehow having made it through Milan) for attempting to bring replica firearms onto a flight to Dublin.
He was just lucky that it was pre 9-11, and when the situation was explained he got away with a warning.

fullstop · 08-07-2015 03:00PM

Knasher wrote: »

One of the our teachers used to play a prank on any student that fell asleep in the middle of class. He would allow the student to sleep for the entire class, and when it ended he would ask the class to very quietly leave the room. Then he would get the next class to quietly file in, and continue teaching them as if nothing was amiss. Then about 20 minutes into the class, he would finally wake them.

There's no way that happened. As if you would't notice the people beside you getting up, even if they did do it quietly.

sjb25 · 08-07-2015 03:07PM

One of the lads who was always in trouble was getting told off one day by our English teacher who told him the best job he would ever get is working in tesco!!! (Notting wrong with working on tesco)
Lad replys no sir I won't coz Im banned from tesco hole class laughed including the teacher

Or was getting the shift out the back one day when caught by a teacher who just smiled and said fair play to ya carry on and walked away

sjb25 · 08-07-2015 03:14PM

Also a day a poor chap was asked to stand up he refused teacher said again stand up now again chap refused all of us getting a bit courious at this stage anyway after being told another time he stood up with a very red face and awkward boner

to be fair hottest girl in class was beside him

Knasher · 08-07-2015 03:36PM

fullstop wrote: »

There's no way that happened. As if you would't notice the people beside you getting up, even if they did do it quietly.

Well, it was a school that had a study period after the school day for a couple hours, so maybe people were a little conditioned to sleep when people were moving around them.

DA7800 · 08-07-2015 08:06PM

Some good stories in this thread, reminded me of a one more of my own I have to share:

School tour to Belgium: It was our first night in the hostel and we (the class group + teachers) had the floor to ourselves. The teachers would patrol the corridor outside the rooms and, although we didn't know it at the time, routinely check the rooms in the hour after lights out to ensure that everybody had indeed turned off the lights and remained in bed. There was four of us in the room in bunk beds. One of the people in my room had gone to the bathroom, he was feeling a bit sick I think. While he was in there, another guy in my room decided to jump in his bed so he could scare him when he came out. Just before the guy in the bathroom comes out, who walks in, but the teacher. Guy 1 comes out of the bathroom, and is questioned by the teacher for being out of bed. He explains the situation, fine. He goes to get back into bed, and does so, before subsequently jumping out in panic, followed by guy 2. The teacher is taken aback, and the three of them just stare at each other for a small bit, before the teacher asks them what's going on. Guy 2 tries to explain, not very well, and the teacher promptly exits. As soon as he's out of earshot myself and the other guy in the room burst out laughing. The teachers also had a good laugh at the students' expense.

(I have a few more memories that I think would be great to share, but I might stagger them so there's not too much to read in one go.)

demanufactured · 08-07-2015 09:18PM

sjb25 wrote: »

Also a day a poor chap was asked to stand up he refused teacher said again stand up now again chap refused all of us getting a bit courious at this stage anyway after being told another time he stood up with a very red face and awkward boner to be fair hottest girl in class was beside him

I think you need to go back to school.

Dr Turk Turkelton · 08-07-2015 09:38PM

A couple of lads in the class were writing porn stories about the hot German teacher we had. These stories were as long as the Iliad and left nothing to the imagination, in fact I wouldn't be suprised to see their names in the end credits of a particularly nasty porn movie.
Anyhow one day,one of them was writing part of his story in the dopey Irish teachers class obviously assuming the dopey teacher wouldn't catch him.
Somehow the teacher noticed him writing when he should have been listening so tried to grab the paper. They wrestled for it for a few seconds before the guy stuck it in his mouth and started eating it even with the teacher hitting him to try and release it.
I think for the teachers sake he was lucky he didn't get to read it as there was some seriously sick stuff in it from a seventeen years old mind.

08-07-2015 09:47PM

demanufactured wrote: »

What?

I can't figure out what the "certain business" is

electrobanana · 08-07-2015 09:51PM

bluewolf wrote: »

I can't figure out what the "certain business" is

Maybe it was a typo and he ment curtain business :pac:

Pumpkinseeds · 08-07-2015 09:55PM

The one that stands out the most is the day I decided to go home after a class and as I was sneaking out across the road our principal spotted me as he went out for something. I started running and he chased me. I lived close by but he didn't know that. It must have looked hillarious to anyone who saw a teenage girl running down the street being chased by a middle aged man. He didn't catch me.:D

wp_rathead · 08-07-2015 10:05PM

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

The one that stands out the most is the day I decided to go home after a class and as I was sneaking out across the road our principal spotted me as he went out for something. I started running and he chased me. I lived close by but he didn't know that. It must have looked hillarious to anyone who saw a teenage girl running down the street being chased by a middle aged man. He didn't catch me.:D

Did you witnesses an event in which the spoiled nephew of your Mayor is accused of beating up a French waiter? Did your entire town believe that he was guilty, and did you have to testify (and hence admit you skipped school) at the trial, defending the spoiled nephew and claiming that the waiter simply hurt himself because he was clumsy? And then, when attempting to deny the allegations, did the waiter proves the truth in the court room by falling out the window?
You are a hero Pumpkinseeds :pac:

Pumpkinseeds · 08-07-2015 10:08PM

wp_rathead wrote: »

Did you witnesses an event in which the spoiled nephew of your Mayor is accused of beating up a French waiter? Did your entire town believe that he was guilty, and did you have to testify (and hence admit you skipped school) at the trial, defending the spoiled nephew and claiming that the waiter simply hurt himself because he was clumsy? And then, when attempting to deny the allegations, did the waiter proves the truth in the court room by falling out the window?
You are a hero Pumpkinseeds :pac:

Nope, did we have the Simpsons in the early 80's? I'm too lazy to Google it. But we did have a batsh*t crazy French teacher who lost the plot, started throwing desks and had to go for a little rest in a secure hospital.:D

irishlad12345 · 09-07-2015 12:44AM

being suspended less then a month into first year because my hair was too short (not messing)

pappyodaniel · 09-07-2015 03:22AM

I remember a guy in my class tried to get out of an exam by punching a concrete wall as hard as he could to f.u.c.k up his writing hand. He hadn't studied for his exam and that was the best thing he could come up with to get out of it. He did a good job on his hand, he split a few knuckles and his fist was fairly swollen.

Anyways he walked into class grimacing and showed the teacher the damage and told him he'd be unable to sit the exam. The teacher examined the injured hand and asked him if he could move his fingers and clench them to make a fist, amazingly he could! The teacher told him to take a seat, you're grand to take the test.

An epic fail on many levels.

ToddyDoody · 10-07-2015 06:11PM

I'd like to go again.

English class. Student: "what does that mean?" Teacher "Have you ever heard the word..." someone says "stupid"
Substitute Teacher "Mr. So and so will be back next Monday" someone replies "better bring in the sleeping bag"
A teacher asked a student nick named 'the monkey' "are you some sort of primate?"
Teacher with injured hand "it's amazing the things you realise you can't do with the other hand"
Brother "what's the matter with so and so?"... " he's gay!" Brother "is he ....... gay?"... "oh he is brother!"
An exercise to bring in a magazine ad from home.. one lad presents an ad with the words "is your vagina happy?" Displayed prominantly
There were no announcements / no bell in one class all year. We asked the teacher what happened the intercom. "I dunno. I found it in the bin when I came in"
One class managed to convince a teacher that the fire extinguisher went off of its own accord.
A year previous to us had a student rob a bit of sulphur from a science lab and throw it in one of the toilets, producing a significant explosion (toilet shattered, cubicle smashed open from inside)
A teacher had been out walking around a field and got wet socks and put them on the radiator in the class and stunk up the place and refused to take them off.
One guy I knew was obsessed with how a certain widely built, heavy set teacher "had no ass". (Looked out the window one day to see this teacher dragging him by the ear past our window en rote to he principal's office)

You can't make this stuff up.

Stories/Memorable moments from secondary school

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