Gaydar

Cold War Kid · 16-05-2015 08:43PM

Grayson wrote: »

One of my best friends camped it up when he came out. He used to always complain about people being too campy and found it annoying. He said that he was kinda picking it up like people pick up a cork accent if they spend too long in Cork.

Then he took it back because being gay in Ireland is far more acceptable than being from cork.

Actually, the Cork accent is *incredibly* camp.

smurgen · 16-05-2015 08:51PM

Cold War Kid wrote: »

Actually, the Cork accent is *incredibly* camp.

Yer just jealous cause we're so fabulous.

Cold War Kid · 16-05-2015 08:53PM

smurgen wrote: »

Yer just jealous cause we're so fabulous.

I'm heading out to Tom Barrys for a few Murphys shortly - I'm one of ye.

wakka12 · 16-05-2015 08:53PM

fortwilliam wrote: »

I have often been confused by the reaction of gay friends when I tell them it is obvious (In 90% of cases) who is gay.

This is not meant as an insult, just an observation, it is plainly clear (in 90% of cases) when you meet someone for the first time and just know he/she is gay..

Why is this taken as a negative, I am told "Don't be stupid, you cannot tell someone is gay just by talking to/ meeting them"

Truth is... yes you can (In 90% of cases)

Do you agree?

In before AH "It's obvious you are gay" etc:pac:

You can't tell if somebodys gay in 90% of cases..you can tell if a stereotypically gay acting person is gay in 90% of cases

wakka12 · 16-05-2015 08:56PM

Captain Chaos wrote: »

With men. yes it's very clear about 85% of the time.

With women on the other hand for me I find it very hard to tell.

I think thats because people look for masculine signs to see if a womans gay. Ive noticed not many lesbians are manly, but they show certain signs. A lot of the lesbians I know are very out there, loud, very pally with lads. Usually quite hipster/alt with weird hair styles (not necessarily short though ) and non natural colours. But thats just what Ive noticed, most lesbians I know have feminine voices and mannerisms etc

wakka12 · 16-05-2015 09:02PM

Baron Kurtz wrote: »

Gayface. They may not be gay, but there is always gayface. Examples might be, Louis from One Direction and Zac Effron.

I don't think they look gay really, just have gay hair styles and clothing. I think zac efrons bisexual or something

Into The Blue · 16-05-2015 09:06PM

fortwilliam wrote: »

I have often been confused by the reaction of gay friends when I tell them it is obvious (In 90% of cases) who is gay.

This is not meant as an insult, just an observation, it is plainly clear (in 90% of cases) when you meet someone for the first time and just know he/she is gay..

Truth is... yes you can

How can you ever know if you're right though? You hardly ask them all what their preference is?

smurgen · 16-05-2015 09:06PM

Cold War Kid wrote: »

I'm heading out to Tom Barrys for a few Murphys shortly - I'm one of ye.

I'm straight.is tom barry's now gay?!ye already closed down loafers leave tom barry's alone!

nathang20 · 16-05-2015 09:08PM

smurgen wrote: »

I'm straight.is tom barry's now gay?!ye already closed down loafers leave tom barry's alone!

Really?

wakka12 · 16-05-2015 09:17PM

silverfeather wrote: »

When I did drama I met a lot of guys who were 'camp' but were actually straight. I know a lot of feminine lesbians and a lot of 'butch straight girls'.

The drama bug seems to affect body language and likes, just because a guy likes show tunes doesn't mean he is gay.
Everyone thought Mikhail Baryshnikov was gay. Boy were they wrong.

If you see overtime them checking someone out or flirting etc.

Some straight guys when flirting with you actually look to onlookers as camp. The expression of affection or sweetness or whatever is misread.

You also have to take into consideration cultural body language.

I have a friend who is always being mistaken for gay and is 100% straight.

I would never presume anything.

Some of the guys I have been out with have been quite camp. You can't tell.

There are a lot of gay guys just into sports and very 'straight male' orientated activities too.

Hmm I dunno. I took part in a fashion show in my college a few months ago and I thought about this before But I just thought oh its a stereotype, there probably won't be too many more gay guys at this than at usual places. But I was wrong, a LOT of the guys were openly gay. Like easily 60%...cant say I was unhappy about that though cause they were hot

Lyaiera · 16-05-2015 09:45PM

I was talking to some people. A friend of theirs turned up. I thought, "He's gay," entirely based on his mannerisms and appearance. He started talking about kissing boys. I thought, "Damn, ****ing stereotypes." And I was disappointed.

Into The Blue · 16-05-2015 09:46PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

I was talking to some people. A friend of theirs turned up. He started talking about kissing boys.

What on earth was the context of that conversation?

Lyaiera · 16-05-2015 09:50PM

Into The Blue wrote: »

What on earth was the context of that conversation?

He was recounting a night. Someone wanted to hook up with him. He was already with someone else. I believe they were at the initial kissing stage of their relationship but he felt that serious enough to commit to a monogamous state of courtship. He turned down the new applicant for a kiss.

wakka12 · 16-05-2015 09:53PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

I was talking to some people. A friend of theirs turned up. I thought, "He's gay," entirely based on his mannerisms and appearance. He started talking about kissing boys. I thought, "Damn, ****ing stereotypes." And I was disappointed.

You mean kissing girls? Also, kissing doesn't really mean anything..kissing takes almost no attraction to do..Im not attracted to girls but I've kissed plenty. He could easily still be gay like , being in a straight relationship doesn't mean you are straight. I know men who married women and came out as gay later

Vojera · 16-05-2015 10:03PM

I have terrible gaydar. If my now civil-partner hadn't somehow mentioned that she's bisexual the first night we met I would never have gallantly walked her home from the house party we were at as a ploy to get her number. I never would have copped on my own.

Lyaiera · 16-05-2015 10:11PM

wakka12 wrote: »

You mean kissing girls? Also, kissing doesn't really mean anything..kissing takes almost no attraction to do..Im not attracted to girls but I've kissed plenty. He could easily still be gay like , being in a straight relationship doesn't mean you are straight. I know men who married women and came out as gay later

If a man says they had fun kissing boys, I'll guess they're gay.
If a man says they had fun kissing girls, I'll guess they're straight.
If they have talked about having fun kissing both boys and girls I'll do the decent thing and think of them as bisexual.

I think it's only right to assess someone's sexuality on the people they have relationships with, even if it later turns out they were in the closet or not sure about their sexuality, at which point I will re-address my thoughts.

The general benefit of making these assumptions pretty much extends to asking, "How's your boyfriend/girlfriend?" It also has the benefit of not turning their sexuality into some sordid guessing game between gossips that shows no respect to the individual.

16-05-2015 10:11PM

wakka12 wrote: »

You mean kissing girls? Also, kissing doesn't really mean anything..kissing takes almost no attraction to do..Im not attracted to girls but I've kissed plenty. He could easily still be gay like , being in a straight relationship doesn't mean you are straight. I know men who married women and came out as gay later

Go on....

wakka12 · 16-05-2015 10:13PM

Omackeral wrote: »

Go on....

It was during the sad time in my life when I hated being gay and wanted to force myself to be straight. Not the funniest of stories :P

Wibbs · 16-05-2015 10:34PM

Mine's pretty reliable. On more than one occasion I've thought "gay chap" and it later came as a big surprise to his nearest and dearest. I knew a fair number of gay blokes growing up, most of whom wanted to keep it quiet for the times that were in it, so maybe that's how? Then again a mate of mine had a couple of family members who were very out and his gaydar is crap. I mean he's completely oblivious. I have found with women it's a magnitude more difficult for me to tell and bisexual guys ditto.

beks101 · 16-05-2015 10:55PM

I've never been surprised to learn that someone was gay. I can't remember ever having a reaction other than, "huh. Makes sense".

I guess there'd be the ones who are obviously gay to me - extremely camp or butch usually (of course being either way doesn't mean you're gay) - but outside of the immediate inkling you'd have in those cases, I tend to not really think about people's sexuality.

I'd agree with Wibbs though, gay women or bisexual people can be harder to decipher. Less 'visible' in the stereotypical way. I dated an extremely masculine, macho, lad's lad GAA player who was bi; a female friend of mine who's probably one of the most stereotypically 'hot', feminine women I know - male heads turn everywhere - has a long-term female partner.

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