Do you have a temper?

beks101 · 12-05-2015 11:37PM

santino wrote: »

Absolutely. Feck all patience. Banks and taxi companies are the main source of ire.

Agree.
What prompted this was: I was in the bank last week and got bounced around 3 different people/queues for 45 mins for what I thought was a simple query. Still didn't get sorted by the time I left. How I didn't f#ck someone out of it I'll never know.

Then today, got a quote for some repairs to the car. Thought I was being screwed and let the guy know it in the nicest possible way.

I often take the view that there's no point taking it out on people as it might ruin their days, but nowadays, I feel people don't care about the way they treat people (lack of standards/manners) so feeling it's more justified to let people know about it.

Yeah, sometimes you just have to "speak someone's language" to be actually heard and to get sh1t sorted I find.

It can be a lot to do with where you live too. I'm in London, where often if you don't shout, scream, yell and tell someone exactly what's going to happen if they don't step up to the service you are owed, you'll be screwed forty shades of sh1t before the day is out.

I swore I wouldn't become a shouty, cold-hearted b1tch when I first arrived, especially as I came from Canada, where rudeness and angry explosions are the greatest social taboo going, but in the same breath life is busy and I can't afford to stand around for three hours or have someone fcuk me over and then overcharge me for the pleasure of it.

So I'll be lovely and sweet and friendly until I get a whiff of bullsh1t, then it's game on.

silverfeather · 12-05-2015 11:43PM

Everyone has a temper. You are meant to.

It's who you use it against and how. It can be healthy to have an aggressive streak.

There is difference between futile anger and useful anger. There is a difference between a powerhouse and an abuser or a shrew.

You control your anger don't let others. Don't be baited. Use it in a healthy way.

When I am tired I can get crotchety. But I move on. It's not good to let things fester.

You shouldn't bully people. Don't let people wind you up. You have the key to your emotions no one else does.

Some people express their tempers in different ways. Bitterness is one of them. So is gossip or manipulation. Passive aggression is still aggression.

jimgoose · 12-05-2015 11:52PM

I have tremendous, almost inhuman patience with many things and situations. However, there are some things that I simply cannot abide and I can have a temper like something out of "Predator".

SMJSF · 12-05-2015 11:53PM

Yes. And everything that gets in my way gets a forceful move and everyone gets dirty look and a snigger!!!!

MadDog76 · 13-05-2015 12:44AM

A lot more mellow these days than I used to be but my wife would disagree, she has suggested anger management courses more than once as I "have a lot more mellowing out to do"........... I think having children has chilled me out quite a bit, I'm certainly less prone to physical violence these days even when I do lose my temper.

SparkySpitfire · 13-05-2015 01:06AM

Candie wrote: »

Would it be tears of frustration or tears of rage Sparky? If that's not too nosy!

Frustration! I always always cry when people raise their voices to me though. Depending on the level of confrontation my eyes water or tears full on stream from them, it's really embarrassing. Then the frustration is also like why can't I be articulate now that my emotions are running high! And then I shake and blub words. It's a mess. Then of course when I calm down I think of all the things I should've said. But that's only like a proper argument, like once in a blue moon type thing.

Smidge · 13-05-2015 01:16AM

It would take a hell of a lot for me to lose my temper tbh. It may happen once a year or so. I hate it. I hate the felling of losing it.
Although, at the point that I would lose it, I have been pushed and pushed and pushed.
In general, I try to resolve things and very rarely even raise my voice.

Smidge · 13-05-2015 01:19AM

MadDog76 wrote: »

A lot more mellow these days than I used to be but my wife would disagree, she has suggested anger management courses more than once as I "have a lot more mellowing out to do"........... I think having children has chilled me out quite a bit, I'm certainly less prone to physical violence these days even when I do lose my temper.[/QUOTE]

Yeah no, you might want to talk to someone about that..."less prone to physical violence".....not good.

Shanotheslayer · 13-05-2015 01:37AM

KatW4 wrote: »

This happens to me too. It makes me look like a baby who can't handle confrontation.

Ditto here. Tears of pure rage. Unfortunetly I go to anger before sad.

Depraved · 13-05-2015 02:10AM

I would say no.

The judge however says differently.

chrissb8 · 13-05-2015 02:16AM

Used to have a big temper. Generally though it was because I was in a bad place and wanted to project my anger on to other things/people. I generally think that's what most anger is. Angry people are just largely dissatisfied. Cliche but it's so much easier to let most things roll off you and be happy.

TheBeardedLady · 13-05-2015 06:39AM

beks101 wrote: »

Yeah, sometimes you just have to "speak someone's language" to be actually heard and to get sh1t sorted I find.

It can be a lot to do with where you live too. I'm in London, where often if you don't shout, scream, yell and tell someone exactly what's going to happen if they don't step up to the service you are owed, you'll be screwed forty shades of sh1t before the day is out.

I swore I wouldn't become a shouty, cold-hearted b1tch when I first arrived, especially as I came from Canada, where rudeness and angry explosions are the greatest social taboo going, but in the same breath life is busy and I can't afford to stand around for three hours or have someone fcuk me over and then overcharge me for the pleasure of it.

So I'll be lovely and sweet and friendly until I get a whiff of bullsh1t, then it's game on.

If you think London is bad, you'd lose the plot completely in Madrid. Go into a bank on any given morning and you'll have one cashier serving everyone, shop assistants and bar staff will continue to chat to friends (and it's not considered rude) while you stand there waiting to be served like a massive plonker and bar staff will only prepare one drink at a time during busy times, people walking 5 a breast rrrrreaaallly slowly down footpaths...I could go on.

I sometimes think they do it to test me but tbh, I say nothing but I'm standing there screaming inside my head and gritting my teeth. I've become very good at pretending I have patience both in work and as I go about my day. Not easy for someone as hot-headed as myself. Bottle all that frustration and anger up good 'n' proper - it's really good for you!:)

fizzypish · 13-05-2015 08:23AM

Temper, am, kinda. I'm a slow burner. It builds and builds and builds until I'm forced to get blind drunk and inflict harm on some inanimate object (door, wall, windows etc...) and thus inflicting grievous bodily harm onto myself. Working on that though....

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 13-05-2015 08:51AM

I can't bear when someone shouts at me, for some reason it makes me so nervous. Maybe because I didn't really get shouted at as a kid, and partly because I don't really raise my voice when I'm angry but if someone starts shouting at me, I'd be in sweats.

I break things when I get to the point of no return. Doesn't happen very often but when it does, I lose it. Like throwing eggs across the kitchen, or one time my brother was eating my cocopops, laughed in my face when I told him to stop, had chowed down most of the box - I walked into the kitchen, he's eating another bowl, laughing at me so I took the bowl from him, smashed it on the floor, then poured out whatever was left in the box and ground them into the floor.

Usually my level of mad is scathing remarks, and then silent treatment

Ush1 · 13-05-2015 08:59AM

The only time I have a temper is when driving with my wife.

RobertKK · 13-05-2015 09:03AM

I don't have a temper, I stay calm.

Anger is like conceding to whatever/whoever caused the problem.

When I was on work experience about 20 years ago as a teenager. The person giving the work experience had a temper, and would hit me. The work experience was part of the course I was doing and last three months.
It was not often but happened 5 or 6 times, just punches to the upper arm. two or three at a time.
I didn't react, he was about twice my age, and I just wanted the work experience thing completed for my course.
I should have reported it, but was young, didn't want trouble and shy.
He asked me to stay on longer when the three months were up, needless to say I didn't take up the offer.

I don't know where the anger got him, it didn't help with learning, all I remember is his anger, and myself there just wishing it was over.
If I had a temper, I don't know what I would have done.

Menas · 13-05-2015 09:05AM

I do have a bit of a temper. The problem is that my fuse is of varying length...so can be impossible to predict when it will go off....does not happen very often though.

anncoates · 13-05-2015 09:06AM

Nim wrote: »

I just kick something or raise my voice a little bit, harmless really

Sorry, but that suggests a fast track to a life of wanton violence and spouse beating.

According to Personal Issues anyway.

Tilly · 13-05-2015 09:07AM

Yup i do but it takes a long long time for me to get to the point where i lose it. Then all hell breaks loose.

Sunnyisland · 13-05-2015 09:08AM

I would have a very quick temper especially if people get to smart or act the bully,(in my mind) I am not as bad as I was though,it's ridiculous trait I have and I wish I could control it more, now what the fcuk are you smirking at .....

13-05-2015 09:24AM

I used to be the wall punching type I was that bad - thankfully I sorted that out. A few changes in my life - and a bit of maturity.

Robsweezie · 13-05-2015 07:07PM

if someone's holding me up or being unhelpful when im in a rush, then I might get snappy and irritable, but not temperamental. in general I don't, not many things infuriate me, just irritate me. where other people would lose their **** entirely I would try to keep a clear head.

Mesrine65 · 13-05-2015 07:15PM

"Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war"

No, I am as sedate as Gandhi (lies)

Precious flower · 13-05-2015 08:11PM

tomwaterford wrote: »

I'm the opposite....usually quiet cool/calm..slow to anger....but when I do blow it all comes out...could take hours to calm down and God help anyone who annoys me deliberately then.....

A lad in work said before I was putting something back together and he came down and said it was pure temper put it back and could see the steam coming off me....:O

(Obv when I calmed down)

Though I have a pretty hot temper that cools down almost instantly I am known for constantly ranting about things that drive me up the wall

mfceiling · 13-05-2015 08:12PM

Yep...and I'm about to go fcuking tropic in a few minutes...

zeffabelli · 13-05-2015 08:18PM

jimgoose wrote: »

I have tremendous, almost inhuman patience with many things and situations. However, there are some things that I simply cannot abide and I can have a temper like something out of "Predator".

Beware the anger of a patient man.

Galwayguy35 · 13-05-2015 08:20PM

Yes I do, and a bad one.

But I rarely lose the cool, takes a lot to get me going.

J Mysterio · 13-05-2015 08:26PM

Some amount of pricks in this thread :pac:

MadDog76 · 13-05-2015 08:35PM

Smidge wrote: »

MadDog76 wrote: »

A lot more mellow these days than I used to be but my wife would disagree, she has suggested anger management courses more than once as I "have a lot more mellowing out to do"........... I think having children has chilled me out quite a bit, I'm certainly less prone to physical violence these days even when I do lose my temper.[/QUOTE]

Yeah no, you might want to talk to someone about that..."less prone to physical violence".....not good.

Ah my fighting (physical) days are behind me, it was mostly from my mid-teens to my mid-20's .......... although I reckon if I'm caught at the wrong time in the wrong situation with the wrong person my fists would clench.

I'd be less prone nowadays though because I wouldn't want my children visiting me in prison and/or hospital but in my youth I had no responsibilities and therefore no hesitation.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 13-05-2015 08:47PM

I have a ferocious temper but I've worked hard to learn to control it. No good ever comes of it. I do scream and break things, but according to my sister (who's definitely seen the most of it) it's when I suddenly get calm that you have to worry.

It takes a lot to get me there though, like I can reach a high level of anger without tipping over into properly losing control of it if that makes sense. But my sister, fair play to her, every fcuking Christmas like clockwork :pac:

Do you have a temper?

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