"Analysts"

Big Nasty · 06-05-2015 04:04PM

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

Subway are always looking for 'Sandwich Artists'. Seems like you'd need a degree of some sort for that.

Yeah, a B.A.

Wossack · 06-05-2015 04:19PM

solutions architects..

/twitch

wp_rathead · 06-05-2015 04:21PM

Celebrity Blogger
Social Media Commentator

SuperGrover · 06-05-2015 04:29PM

My job title includes the word 'Analyst'.

I didn't create it, the company did. I would imagine it's the same for most people.

Kermit.de.frog · 06-05-2015 04:32PM

wp_rathead wrote: »

Social Media Commentator

"I look at twitter ALL day long"

anncoates · 06-05-2015 04:41PM

Lot of disgruntled low level employees in here today.

EazyD · 06-05-2015 04:47PM

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XZMqOMtl5C0

Sleepy · 06-05-2015 05:39PM

I actually qualified as an Analyst.

darkpagandeath · 06-05-2015 05:40PM

Soft landing

:pac::pac::pac::pac:

Sleepy · 06-05-2015 05:41PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

What else can you call a nail technician?

A part-qualified Beautician?

dmc17 · 06-05-2015 05:42PM

Knex. wrote: »

Engineer or director are nearly worse. Especially in American companies.

At least analyst is relevant for roles such as Systems analyst, data analyst, etc.

You get people adding "Engineer" on to their title without the slightest relevancy to actually engineering. Or people entitling themselves with crap like, "Director of Communications", when all they do is take inbound sales calls.

There's probably a job role entitled "Job Title Engineer", for people who come up with all of these craptastic names.

I used to be a Presentation Engineer when I stacked shelves. Then I moved onto becoming a Visual Engineer where I helped people to see better by cleaning their windows

jimgoose · 06-05-2015 05:45PM

I'm both an analyst and a therapist be trade bah, so me brass plaque says "Analrapist"".

Kermit.de.frog · 06-05-2015 06:29PM

Have a thanks.

RubyGlee · 06-05-2015 06:33PM

A well known bank recently had positions available for customer champions. gave me giggle

Kermit.de.frog · 06-05-2015 06:34PM

What the hell is an assistant vice president? Is that an actual title being used?

syklops · 06-05-2015 06:36PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

I'd say 20 years a go before high speed broadband and social media people were more honest and direct about their role. Now it's all cloaked in language suggesting a position above their station which they have to broadcast to anyone who sees them.

Jesus, you're very bitter. What do you do?

Edit: My signature is apt for this thread.

Joe prim · 06-05-2015 06:40PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

What else can you call a nail technician?

A digital enhancement engineering analyst of course!

For Forks Sake · 06-05-2015 06:42PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

What's the technical term for a porn star?

Analist.

Lu Tze · 06-05-2015 06:49PM

I'm an assistant to the deputy chief of staff, so i guess that makes me deputy deputy chief of staff.

Kermit.de.frog · 06-05-2015 06:49PM

syklops wrote: »

Jesus, you're very bitter.

Why would I be bitter? I have a good, reasonably paid job. Don't get me wrong I sometimes use fluffy language about my role too but not to the extent where it is completely distorted and in fact a lie.

Terms like "engineer", "analyst" and "technician" are only applicable to certain defined roles. Many seem to choose them in their discription despite the fact it has nothing to do at all with their role.

jimgoose · 06-05-2015 06:53PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

Have a thanks.

And you. From a real engineer.

jimgoose · 06-05-2015 06:56PM

RubyGlee wrote: »

A well known bank recently had positions available for customer champions. gave me giggle

The right person can do a lot with a role like that. I assume the loincloth and broadsword are provided? By the power of Greyskuuulll...

Saralee4 · 06-05-2015 07:16PM

whats the story with 'engineering' too?

smash · 06-05-2015 07:17PM

jimgoose wrote: »

The right person can do a lot with a role like that.

Only if they get their ducks in a row :pac:

smash · 06-05-2015 07:18PM

Saralee4 wrote: »

whats the story with 'engineering' too?

Don't start... So many design based jobs now have 'engineer' added to the job title.

jimgoose · 06-05-2015 07:24PM

smash wrote: »

Don't start... So many design based jobs now have 'engineer' added to the job title.

Don't panic, you just need a Key Driver. Presumably written in C...

parc · 06-05-2015 07:26PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

The world "Analyst" has to be the biggest bullsh!t word to make some one pretend they are more important than they are in their work description whilst at the same time being evasive and economical with their actual role. On social media sites every 3rd person is an "analyst" - and that's it!

Up there with a nail technician imo.

It's so common. Needs to be stigmatised to be rid.

:rolleyes:

An analyst analyses data to get information. Pretty clear job description but you seem to be having difficulty with it

jimgoose · 06-05-2015 07:29PM

parc wrote: »

:rolleyes:

An analyst analyses data to get information. Pretty clear job description but you seem to be having difficulty with it

Hah! That's not what happened when I had that gig testing suppositories in 1993.

Roger Hassenforder · 06-05-2015 07:31PM

stimpson wrote: »

I've never been a Project Manager - they are the ones who are meant to ensure things happen, but are generally lazy or incompetent, but consider themselves important because they have the word Manager in their title. They are more deserving of you're ire than us poor Analyists.

change managers. they're what get me.
they (usually) neither understand what they're changing the organization from, or what they're changing the organization to.
Analysts are usually poor much put upon, lowly spreadsheet drivers.
well I am anyway!

denismc · 06-05-2015 07:31PM

A term that is become more common where I work is "champion" as in " Right first time champion"
It conjures up images of Usain Bolt or Mike Tyson when the reality is anything but.

"Analysts"

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