"Analysts"

Kermit.de.frog · 06-05-2015 03:23PM #1

The world "Analyst" has to be the biggest bullsh!t word to make some one pretend they are more important than they are in their work description whilst at the same time being evasive and economical with their actual role. On social media sites every 3rd person is an "analyst" - and that's it!

Up there with a nail technician imo.

It's so common. Needs to be stigmatised to be rid.

Slippin Jimmy · 06-05-2015 03:25PM

I'd class myself as a boards analyst. I'm not a regular punter.

smash · 06-05-2015 03:27PM

I'm an Analyst = I did a course in Microsoft Excel

whiskeyman · 06-05-2015 03:28PM

You can't spell analyst without anal.

Maximus Alexander · 06-05-2015 03:28PM

I think you'll find that's not their job title at all. It's a sexual thing - they're anal-ists.

mathie · 06-05-2015 03:33PM

What about Analyst / Therapists?

Danjamin1 · 06-05-2015 03:36PM

mathie wrote: »

What about Analyst / Therapists?

Nice Arrested Development reference

Akrasia · 06-05-2015 03:38PM

I blame Jack Ryan novels for this.

You can start off as a lowly analyst, and next stop, President of the Motherf*ckin USA

Knex* · 06-05-2015 03:39PM

Engineer or director are nearly worse. Especially in American companies.

At least analyst is relevant for roles such as Systems analyst, data analyst, etc.

You get people adding "Engineer" on to their title without the slightest relevancy to actually engineering. Or people entitling themselves with crap like, "Director of Communications", when all they do is take inbound sales calls.

There's probably a job role entitled "Job Title Engineer", for people who come up with all of these craptastic names.

Mr_Muffin · 06-05-2015 03:40PM

Subway are always looking for 'Sandwich Artists'. Seems like you'd need a degree of some sort for that.

smash · 06-05-2015 03:41PM

Knex. wrote: »

Engineer or director are nearly worse. Especially in American companies.

I know a lot of people with "director" in their job title. Yet 95% of them are not company directors.

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

Subway are always looking for 'Sandwich Artists'. Seems like you'd need a degree of some sort for that.

They're one step below a Panini Architect.

Knex* · 06-05-2015 03:41PM

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

Subway are always looking for 'Sandwich Artists'. Seems like you'd need a degree of some sort for that.

"Its not what the sandwich looks like, its how the sandwich makes you feel".

PandaPoo · 06-05-2015 03:44PM

What else can you call a nail technician?

stimpson · 06-05-2015 03:44PM

I'm an Analyst - I figure out how stuff should be done.

I used to be an engineer - I had to actually do the stuff.

I've never been a Project Manager - they are the ones who are meant to ensure things happen, but are generally lazy or incompetent, but consider themselves important because they have the word Manager in their title. They are more deserving of you're ire than us poor Analyists.

Lollipops23 · 06-05-2015 03:45PM

Consultant seems to crop up quite a bit too...I always thought that was a type of doctor, but apparently you can consult on matters of marketing too.

Slippin Jimmy · 06-05-2015 03:45PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

What else can you call a nail technician?

Someone that didn't pass their leaving cert.

PandaPoo · 06-05-2015 03:47PM

Slippin Jimmy wrote: »

Someone that didn't pass their leaving cert.

I got 420 points.....

Slippin Jimmy · 06-05-2015 03:47PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

I got 420 points.....

Over qualified nail technician.

Kermit.de.frog · 06-05-2015 03:48PM

I'd say 20 years a go before high speed broadband and social media people were more honest and direct about their role. Now it's all cloaked in language suggesting a position above their station which they have to broadcast to anyone who sees them.

Knex* · 06-05-2015 03:49PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

What else can you call a nail technician?

Misguided?

PandaPoo · 06-05-2015 03:54PM

Knex. wrote: »

Misguided?

Such smart arses! It was a genuine question, I hate the term nail technician, but what else could you call it?

Slippin Jimmy · 06-05-2015 03:55PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

Such smart arses! It was a genuine question, I hate the term nail technician, but what else could you call it?

Nail guru

Kermit.de.frog · 06-05-2015 03:56PM

What's the technical term for a porn star?

smash · 06-05-2015 03:58PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

Such smart arses! It was a genuine question, I hate the term nail technician, but what else could you call it?

Dolly?

Knex* · 06-05-2015 03:58PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

Such smart arses! It was a genuine question, I hate the term nail technician, but what else could you call it?

Get called that way too much in, eh... regular life

Not sure you can call it anything else now, like you say, as isn't nail technician pretty much the accepted term for it?

Like, if you hear adverts for job positions, or look up courses for it, would nail technician not be the term used?

Aside from that, all I could think of is nail beautician.

Ruu · 06-05-2015 03:59PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

What's the technical term for a porn star?

Adult film star.

Wacker The Attacker · 06-05-2015 04:00PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

What's the technical term for a porn star?

Vaginal Mosturisation clerk.

Knex* · 06-05-2015 04:00PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

What's the technical term for a porn star?

Cock technician.

Director of cock is reserved for the producers, I believe

draiochtanois · 06-05-2015 04:02PM

This post has been deleted.

stimpson · 06-05-2015 04:02PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

What's the technical term for a porn star?

Nail technician. As in "she's ready to be nailed. Call the nail technician"

osarusan · 06-05-2015 04:04PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

Such smart arses! It was a genuine question, I hate the term nail technician, but what else could you call it?

Nail stylist.

"Analysts"

Comments