Advertisement
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.
Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

Had a naked oil massage and didn't get an erection

  • 26-04-2015 11:58AM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok, this is very embarrassing and my thread title probably adds to the embarrassment, hence the anonymity. It peobably doesn't sound serious but ive taken it that way. I'm in one of the many Asian countries right now where naked happy massages are prevalent. Basically the guy goes in, takes all his clothes off, gets oil rubbed on him by a local lady and gets offered a happy ending. I had been to Asia many times before but never tried an "oil massage".

    I decided to go in today, and honestly, I was going in for a happy ending. It's seedy I know, and my mind was in a bit of a moral dilemma over doing it but curioisity got the better of me. I'm pretty shy as it is and it was a bit intimidating. Anyway I went in, stripped off and the girl proceeded to rub oil on me. She was fully clothed. I was lying there for about 30 minutes getting rubbed with oil, her purposefully rubbing off my man parts, and yet I did not get an erection. I wasn't highly attracted to her but still - I mean she's rubbing my naked body with oil, shouldn't an erection be guaranteed? She eventually offered to massage only my penis but I was so mortified by my lack of an erection that I declined and left. This is very concerning to me. And that's why i'm posting here.

    I have had erection issues before but it is nothing medical as im only 23 years old. With two of my ex gf's sometimes I was thinking too much and it just didn't happen for me. Or it did happen and my erection went away. The problem is I beat myself up so much about it every time. Instead of letting it go and putting it down to thinking too much, right now im questioning my manliness. I must be the only ever bloke to get a naked oil massage and not get an erection! I am an anxious person by nature so thinking too much is a part of me and I'm concerned it was the culprit today. I just feel a bit hopeless and useless to be honest. Anxiety and overthinking are bad enough as it is, but causing me to not to be erect is really frustrating. I'm pretty sure the woman must have thought I was gay when I left. I don't know what advice im looking for but my self-esteem takes a huge hit every time this happens. I feel awful.


Comments

  • #2
    ViveLaVie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 984 ✭✭✭ViveLaVie


    Maybe you couldn't get aroused because it was such a contrived situation and you had been in two minds about it. It's possible that subconsciously you felt uncomfortable.


  • #3
    GerB40
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    The answer is in your question. "Mortified", "anxiety", "shy", "over thinking". These are the issues that led to you "not rising to the occasion". I don't mean to sound blasé but this shít happens. If it only happens occasionally it's not a major problem but if it's a constant issue then just talk to a doctor. It's not as big a problem as it used to be so don't over think it..


  • #4
    LadyAthame
    Closed Accounts Posts: 793 ✭✭✭LadyAthame


    @LadyAthame - please post concisely, with insight directly relevant to the OP.

    dudara


  • #5
    iusedtoknow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,698 ✭✭✭iusedtoknow


    stage fright is nothing to worry about - it happened because you were in a weird situation and probably nervous so couldn't rise to the occasion.

    Not a lot to worry about, though I personally could think of a few other things I'd rather spend money on


  • #6
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    I think you're trying to live up to an unpleasant and stereotyped idea of maleness. I'd say that you need to get comfortable with someone before trying to have sex with them. That's more to do with personal boundaries and experience than anything to do with masculinity or feminity.

    You seem very concerned about how you are perceived by others also. That won't help matters as it will probably lead to performance anxiety. Sex worker won't care less about you once you pay her.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    December2012
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    I think you didn't get an erection because you were stressed about the very act itself.

    You clearly have the opinion that this is sleazy. Therefore its not going to make you horny.

    And that's ok. Don't worry about it.


  • #8
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    shyman1 wrote: »
    It's seedy I know, and my mind was in a bit of a moral dilemma over doing it but curioisity got the better of me. I'm pretty shy as it is and it was a bit intimidating. ... I wasn't highly attracted to her but still - I mean she's rubbing my naked body with oil, shouldn't an erection be guaranteed?

    Your answer lies within your own words. Despite what you seem to think, men aren't like those little wind-up toys that you turn the little key in the back of and send scurrying across the floor. You had very real reservations about what you were doing so you were off to a bad start. The way you're describing this sounds about as sexy as going to the doctor for a prostate exam. It would be better to write this off as something that was not for you and leave it at that. There's no shame in that.


  • #9
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    It just wasn't your thing. You weren't turned on by it. Don't analyse it to death. You just weren't into it. That's ok. That's allowed. Different people find different things arousing. That wasn't one of them for you. So scratch it off the list. There's probably lots of other things other people would find sexy as hell but you don't and visa-versa. You're into what you're into, and everyone else is into what they're into. That's just how it goes man. Sometimes your things will match up with the majority, sometimes they wont. Is what it is.


Advertisement
Advertisement