Things that instantly turn you off films

retro:electro · 21-04-2015 11:14PM

Anything with Nicholas Cage immediately loses all credibility. "Knowing" was possibly the biggest pile of sh1te I've ever seen in my life, and I grew up with a slurry pit out the back.

bnt · 21-04-2015 11:18PM

Films that hit you over the head with music, telling you how to feel at any given point in the narrative. Nora Ephron was the worst offender by far, even when she was just the writer, not the director. She would lay on the Louis Armstrong with a trowel: "just make ... someone happy. just make ... one person happy". Really? I'm not happy. :mad:

Wellyd · 21-04-2015 11:22PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

My oul lad thinks all movies should be like Steven Seagal vehicles, 'plenty of blowing up, no stupid riding scenes getting in the way and not too far-fetched'

My father can switch on the telly at any time day or night and find a Steven Seagal film. It wrecks my head!

ArtyM · 21-04-2015 11:24PM

LadyAthame wrote: »

Raising Arizona , Peggy Sue got Married. WILD AT HEART!
Leaving Las Vegas! Gone in sixty seconds was not soooo very bad...ok maybe...

Raising Arizona was a riot, no nonsense nonsense not pretending to be nothing but no nonsense nonsense.
Have watched it many a time and will continue to do so in the future.
Will think of you and pray for your heathen soul the next time I do so.
Heathen!

The Diabolical Monocle · 21-04-2015 11:24PM

unbelievable plot aspects.

for example: true romance.

start of film: nerd guy meets hotty in the cinema, scores that night, hotty turns out to be a prostitute who was sent by a friend to lighten him up, prostitute tells our nerd that she loves him that night, he feels the same, yip, film begins.
I sigh and try to forget that just happened.

end of film: three way shoot out, everyone dies bar our main characters, nerd boy appears dead, not moving, blood from head, lying on ground, girl cries about how she loved him, he wakes up, thankfully it was just a glancing hit by a bullet to the side of his head (as happens often), film ends, I throw shoe at screen and curse their crops in arabic.

kylith · 21-04-2015 11:28PM

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

curse their crops in arabic.

Please educate! I would love to be able to do this.

AndonHandon · 21-04-2015 11:28PM

Seth Rogan.

I could make a better movie by strapping a GoPro to a dump and show it's journey to dump heaven through the toilet pipes.

osarusan · 21-04-2015 11:30PM

When it's set in a non-English speaking country, but the characters speak English.

Even worse if they speak it with an accent.

Even worse again if some parts of the film (posters/newspapers/announcements/minor characters' dialogue) are in the actual language of the country in which the film is set.

I'm looking at you, Schindler's List.

The Diabolical Monocle · 21-04-2015 11:36PM

kylith wrote: »

Please educate! I would love to be able to do this.

hakem a wak khackn a whhuuuck

entropi · 21-04-2015 11:39PM

Films that are Americanised, films with Daniel Craig, films that have been ruined in a cinema because the trailer has already shown you everything :mad:

Wacker The Attacker · 21-04-2015 11:41PM

Ricky Gervais
Jim Carrey

Inception. A real pile of horse sh1t.

Extreme dearth of vagina.

Wacker The Attacker · 21-04-2015 11:45PM

Every film should have a mandatory lesbian gang bang in it.

It adds so much to the plot.

It should also have another 5 minutes of Kelly Brooke getting motor boated.

Cold War Kid · 21-04-2015 11:52PM

Pointless remakes (e.g. remember there was a remake of Psycho, starring Vince Vaughn?)
Standard rom-coms/chick flicks/"You go girl!" type tripe - occasionally there's a deviation from the formula with the likes of Bridesmaids, but your generic Sandra Bullock/Matthew McConnaughey type one needs to be put down.

I don't mind Nicholas Cage either.

eternal · 21-04-2015 11:56PM

entropi wrote: »

Films that are Americanised, films with Daniel Craig, films that have been ruined in a cinema because the trailer has already shown you everything :mad:

Layer Cake was decent. There is nothing wrong with Daniel Craig as an actor.

osarusan · 22-04-2015 12:01AM

Jason Statham.

If he is in the film, it will be vapid shyte.

kfallon · 22-04-2015 12:02AM

GreatDefector wrote: »

A chick with a dick flick

Never again....

You saw The Crying Game then?

Man, that was one ruined ****

:pac:

Links234 · 22-04-2015 12:03AM

osarusan wrote: »

Jason Statham.

If he is in the film, it will be vapid shyte.

Even Snatch?

major bill · 22-04-2015 12:03AM

There are rumours The Warriors is going to be remade, I really hope this is just a rumour, any remake of classics is an instant turn off, it smacks of ''we can't be original so we will ruin something that was''

osarusan · 22-04-2015 12:07AM

Links234 wrote: »

Even Snatch?

Fair point (though I don't think much of Snatch either), I'm thinking more of the mindless action crap.

Shiny Happy Sheeple · 22-04-2015 12:11AM

"Reboots"

I think we've had enough Spiderman movies.

eternal · 22-04-2015 12:15AM

osarusan wrote: »

Jason Statham.

If he is in the film, it will be vapid shyte.

The Bank Job was alright. Crank was horrendous.

Gulliver · 22-04-2015 12:16AM

Character stupidity.
"Oh, there's a car/boulder/fat guy rolling down a hill towards us. Let's just run directly away from it and not step aside" (not counting Raiders of the Lost Ark as that was a tunnel).

Senna · 22-04-2015 12:25AM

If the wife says "I'd like to see that film" you can be assured it will be cack.

Vincent Vega · 22-04-2015 12:30AM

Excessive use of CGI.

bodhrandude · 22-04-2015 01:32AM

Hey leave Segal alone, he is one of the few actors out there that has the audacity to take the piss out of himself, I saw him one night as a guest in the Graham Norton show and thought he was brilliant.

Clankatron · 22-04-2015 03:30AM

bodhrandude wrote: »

Hey leave Segal alone, he is one of the few actors out there that has the audacity to take the piss out of himself, I saw him one night as a guest in the Graham Norton show and thought he was brilliant.

My dad is mad for the Steven Segal movies.

They're daft but he knows that (and I'm fairly certain Steven knows that too) and he doesn't care. That's cool with me.

I don't mind some of them myself, to be fair. Sometimes it's good to kick back, turn the brain off and watch an aging, overweight balding dude kick the shite out of thirty bad guys (who are generally much younger and fitter than he is) because they murdered his sister/brother/uncle etc. All while stuff explodes around them.

There are also science/forensics montages, where there are several shots of Steven looking at computer screens and the like. Can't remember which films I saw these in but it's happened at least twice. They go on for about two minutes while science-y, electronic music plays in the background. Gas stuff.

Kirby · 22-04-2015 04:10AM

bodhrandude wrote: »

Hey leave Segal alone, he is one of the few actors out there that has the audacity to take the piss out of himself, I saw him one night as a guest in the Graham Norton show and thought he was brilliant.

He wasn't always like that. He had a reputation for taking himself wayyy too seriously. I remember he was on Parkinson years back and he was pontificating about "his art" and he didn't mean martial arts.....he meant his acting. He genuinely thought he was creating film masterpieces. I was embarrassed for him.

Robsweezie · 22-04-2015 04:11AM

Ridiculous suspension of reality, to the point of parody.

Also, multiple plot holes.

The Dark Side · 22-04-2015 09:29AM

Links234 wrote: »

Even Snatch?

Lock, Stock was even better.

Jarrod · 22-04-2015 09:44AM

kfallon wrote: »

You saw The Crying Game then?

Man, that was one ruined ****

:pac:

"He got his lad out, you only see it for a second but you get the message".

Things that instantly turn you off films

Comments