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What age to leave children alone in a house?

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  • 14-04-2015 10:34am
    #1
    Baggy Trousers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,816 ✭✭✭


    When is a child (or children) old enough to be left alone in a house for say 30 mins during the day when the parents go for a walk?


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    #2
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    It depends on the individual child more then anything.


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    #3
    hairyprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 2,294 ✭✭✭hairyprincess


    I would say it also depends on whether the child is expected to care for younger children during the time.


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    #4
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,861 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    One child might love to be at home on their own, another might hate it. My eldest is 9, and I think he's still just too young. But I know even if he was to stay he would like someone with him. The next sibling is 7, so I wouldn't be happy to leave the two of them, yet.

    Could the child not bring a bike and join the walk?


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    #5
    skallywag
    Registered Users Posts: 2,992 ✭✭✭skallywag


    It's a good question. I'm trying to think back to when my own parents would have left me alone in the house, and I think I would have been about 10? Though I'm pretty sure that I was disappearing up fields etc years etc before that when my mother would have no idea where I was for hours on end!


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    #6
    teggers5
    Registered Users Posts: 445 ✭✭teggers5


    My son is 12 and its only in recent months he's been left alone for any period of time. Max time has been an hour. And like you op, it's been while I walked the dogs and he didn't want to come with us.


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    #7
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    I was allowed to walk home from school and let myself into the house at about 10. My mum had one afternoon a week where she had to be elsewhere with my siblings. I was a very boring and compliant child though, so I think she knew I'd be ok. It'd depend on the child. There's some teenagers I wouldn't leave alone in a house for various reasons!


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    #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It is very much down to the child. I was left on my own with no issues from 7 but my brother who is considerably younger, so I was out of the house when he was young, was not able to be left alone until in his teens. Some kids just have no common sense while others can be left alone for hours without any bother. You know your child how do you think they'd react? Would they panic or even notice your gone?


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    #9
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    I'd say around 10 or so as well.


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    #10
    Depraved
    Registered Users Posts: 156 ✭✭Depraved


    Based on observations here in The Philippines...about 4 years old.

    Seriously though, it depends on the child as many have said. I do feel that we have a tendency to be overprotective in this regard. So long as they are not a firebug and know how to safely use the cooker, then it's more an issue of trust than safety. By 11, most children are well capable, both mentally and emotionally, of being alone in the home for a few hours.


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    #11
    Greenmachine
    Registered Users Posts: 5,063 ✭✭✭Greenmachine


    Came home for lunch everyday in secondary school, usually no-one home at that time.
    Maybe shorter periods of time before that if my mom went across the road to the shop etc.


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    #12
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    I always thought I could remember being at home on my own after school from about the age of 10, but it's only recently I've realised that I wasn't really - we had a granny flat with a door into the house, and my granny was always at home except for when she went to Mass.

    So in effect although I thought I was at home alone, my Granny was always there too and that's probably why my parents were happy enough - if I ever needed anything I knocked into her. Though I was pretty self-sufficient anyway, at that age had no issue knocking a sandwich together for myself.


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    #13
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Sometimes its not so much the trustworthiness of the child. The parents might be worried about who might knock at the door and they might open it, or someone might peep in the window to break in. Or they might invite a gang in (while the cat's away). All sorts of scenarios come to mind. I usually did all my shopping etc., while they were in school. I didn't go back to work until they were in secondary school.


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    #14
    m'lady
    Registered Users Posts: 1,859 ✭✭✭m'lady


    My 14 year old at times could be at home on her own for a couple if hours, but I'd be in contact with her making sure she's locked the door etc, I'd never leave her at home on her own at night, I'd be way too paranoid of something happening, but that's me!


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    #15
    aujopimur
    Registered Users Posts: 3,953 ✭✭✭aujopimur


    I'm not being smart, but boys shouldn't be left home alone at any age.


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    #16
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    aujopimur wrote: »
    I'm not being smart, but boys shouldn't be left home alone at any age.

    You could say the same about girls. Mine are very young but my boy is already much more cautious and risk averse than my girl. This kind of thing depends on the child not on.generalisations.


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    #17
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users Posts: 14,331 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    aujopimur wrote: »
    I'm not being smart, but boys shouldn't be left home alone at any age.

    Why?
    i don't know why it's ok to let my 12 year old walk to and from school but not leave him in the house for any length of time...


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    #18
    skallywag
    Registered Users Posts: 2,992 ✭✭✭skallywag


    aujopimur wrote: »
    I'm not being smart, but boys shouldn't be left home alone at any age.

    Until when? They are 18?


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    #19
    Hollister11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Hollister11


    12-15 a few hours. 16+ they should be grand


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    #20
    Engine No.9
    Registered Users Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Engine No.9


    I have 5 kids. 13, 11, 9, 7 and 5. I have no reservations whatsoever about leaving them all at home for an hour or 2 while I go run errands etc. The 2 eldest have phones, so any issues and I'm just a phone call away.


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    #21
    mfceiling
    Registered Users Posts: 12,791 ✭✭✭✭mfceiling


    aujopimur wrote: »
    I'm not being smart, but boys shouldn't be left home alone at any age.


    You're right. My mum left my 38 year old brother at home for a few hours last week and he ate the last 3 slices of bread in the house. He wasn't so clever when he had to go out that night and buy her a full loaf...


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    #22
    seventeen sheep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 776 ✭✭✭seventeen sheep


    It very much depends on the child.

    My thirteen year old sister is very mature and responsible - not only would I leave her home alone, I'd also have absolutely no problem leaving her to mind my one-year-old son alone, during the day at least. (And I'm very fussy about who minds him!)

    But I do recognise that she's extremely mature for her age (being youngest of seven children seems to have helped with that!) I certainly wouldn't leave just any thirteen-year-old child alone, let alone leaving them alone to babysit.

    I think the youngest I'd consider it (even for the most advanced child) would probably be around 11 or 12 years old. That's at a stretch. I also know/know of 16/17 year olds that aren't and shouldn't be left home alone unsupervised.

    It depends also if they actually want to be left alone. I've another sister who's 22 and who still actually hates being left alone in the house, ever! She never went through the teenage phase of wanting her own space.


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    #23
    PLL
    Registered Users Posts: 893 ✭✭✭PLL


    Just don't do what my mother did and leave a 9 year old on their own from 8pm to 5am so she could go out with her friends. People actually think I'm lying about that. God I wish I was, I cried my eyes out.

    Anyhow I only have a little 3 year old so no idea myself, great question though. I saw an 8 year old getting a Galway city bus home on her own the other day, genuinely felt a little disconcerted. Elderly people were talking to her on the bus that is how I know she was 8, bless her, she looked way too young, I just kept thinking she would be so easy to kidnap. Awful thing to think I know, but it happens unfortunately.


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    #24
    Caovyn Lineah
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,839 ✭✭✭Caovyn Lineah


    PLL wrote: »
    Just don't do what my mother did and leave a 9 year old on their own from 8pm to 5am so she could go out with her friends. People actually think I'm lying about that. God I wish I was, I cried my eyes out.

    Anyhow I only have a little 3 year old so no idea myself, great question though. I saw an 8 year old getting a Galway city bus home on her own the other day, genuinely felt a little disconcerted. Elderly people were talking to her on the bus that is how I know she was 8, bless her, she looked way too young, I just kept thinking she would be so easy to kidnap. Awful thing to think I know, but it happens unfortunately.

    I remember when I was young(9,10 and again at 13) being allowed travel from Limerick to Dublin by bus alone. My parents put me on at Limerick station and my aunt was waiting at the other end for me, I recall the stop at Borris-in-Ossory lasting about half an hour and I just wandered around the hotel. Much simpler times, no way in hell would I let my kids do that nowadays.


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    #25
    Nekarsulm
    Registered Users Posts: 11,199 ✭✭✭✭Nekarsulm


    Depending a lot on how independent and sensible the child is, and how happy they are to entertain themselves. Some can be safely left at 7 or 8, others I know would have a fit (and they're in their early teens.)


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    #26
    blackbird 49
    Registered Users Posts: 411 ✭✭blackbird 49


    lazygal wrote: »
    You could say the same about girls. Mine are very young but my boy is already much more cautious and risk averse than my girl. This kind of thing depends on the child not on.generalisations.

    Agree 👍


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    #27
    blackbird 49
    Registered Users Posts: 411 ✭✭blackbird 49


    aujopimur wrote: »
    I'm not being smart, but boys shouldn't be left home alone at any age.

    Why, I have 2 boys and when of a age I felt was right to leave them for half hour / 1 hour I had no problems


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    #28
    Mallagio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 498 ✭✭Mallagio


    I was left to mind kids at about 14, I'd like to think though my mother knew I wasn't a messer and have mates & birds over on the sly.

    In other words it depends on trust and if the child is capable of it - don't get me wrong though, the likes of 12,13 is possibly a tad too young imo.


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    #29
    Chocolate fiend
    Registered Users Posts: 465 ✭✭Chocolate fiend


    I cannot imagine having a 16/17 year old who was not able to be at home unsupervised (unless there were some additional needs to consider) I think a 10 year old should be capable of being at home alone for about half an hour or so, and progressing naturally from there. Rules would have to apply, no opening the door, no using the kettle or cooker and maybe not taking a bath!!


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    #30
    LoganRice
    Registered Users Posts: 424 ✭✭LoganRice


    it depends on the child and their mentality, some children are afraid of everything whereas others are more rational


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    #31
    househero
    Registered Users Posts: 1,094 ✭✭✭househero


    Chocolate fiend wrote: »
    I cannot imagine having a 16/17 year old who was not able to be at home unsupervised (unless there were some additional needs to consider) I think a 10 year old should be capable of being at home alone for about half an hour or so, and progressing naturally from there. Rules would have to apply, no opening the door, no using the kettle or cooker and maybe not taking a bath!!

    My mum worked 3 jobs when we were younger (a day) she slept on her lunch breaks and at weekends (no exaggeration) amazing woman.

    From 11 I fed my 8 year old brother reheated microwave meals after school. Usually stew my mum made at the weekend.

    BUT when I was 9, both my brother and I got up to all kinds of bad behaviour when we were left alone for a few hours. Worst cases...

    I broke my arm (we would dare each other to jump 1 step higher down the stairs)
    He ate batteries
    I made him lick the carpet and he got a real bad carpet burn on his forehead
    We both went through the front door glass sledging down the stairs
    We flooded the bathroom
    Broke the bed as we would put on big t shirts and stuff them with pillows and pretend to be wrestlers
    Smashed a lot of things playing indoor football

    It was a great laugh


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