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Killer Spiders and Fatal Erections - Beware those Tesco Bananas

Comments

  • #2
    Ruu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 ✭✭✭Ruu


    "..rigorous testing system in place for all fruit" ho hooooooo. oh la la.


  • #3
    porsche boy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,550 ✭✭✭porsche boy


    Well at least you'll die with a smile on yur face


  • #4
    NomadicGray
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,433 ✭✭✭NomadicGray


    I blame the homosexuals


  • #5
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Preusse wrote: »
    :pac:

    Link: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/tesco-dispels-fears-over-killer-spiders-in-bananas-31114506.html

    You better use it wisely, because it's the last one you're ever going to have!


  • #6
    Dr Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,427 ✭✭✭Dr Strange


    Cool_CM wrote: »
    You better use it wiseley, because it's the last one you're ever going to have!

    The thing is you probably get bitten when you least expect/need it.

    4 hours from now..what to do...what to do?


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  • #7
    kneemos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,386 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    If I was on Death Row I'd opt for this.


  • #8
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Preusse wrote: »
    The thing is you probably get bitten when you least expect/need it.

    4 hours from now..what to do...what to do?

    And the only thing that you have near you is the offending banana.


  • #9
    Dr Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,427 ✭✭✭Dr Strange


    kneemos wrote: »
    If I was on Death Row I'd opt for this.

    More to the delight of the other inmates, I guess.


  • #10
    Dr Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,427 ✭✭✭Dr Strange


    Cool_CM wrote: »
    And the only thing that you have near you is the offending banana.

    That banana will have to go through 4 hours of unspeakable things.


  • #11
    whattodo1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭whattodo1


    After a pretty crap week first Time I've laughed so hard( pardon the pun) :D

    See all the lads queuing outside Tesco just for the erection at least they'll go happy lol


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  • #12
    antodeco
    Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,718 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    So a spider gives you a four hour erection?

    Technically is that counted as beastiality?


  • #13
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Preusse wrote: »
    That banana will have to go through 4 hours of unspeakable things.

    Good thing bananas can't talk :D


  • #14
    NomadicGray
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,433 ✭✭✭NomadicGray


    Preusse wrote: »
    That banana will have to go through 4 hours of unspeakable things.

    Well, the skin will


  • #15
    crockholm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,448 ✭✭✭crockholm


    Why were spiders referred to as insects? Sloppy ignorant journalism.


  • #16
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    crockholm wrote: »
    Why were spiders referred to as insects? Sloppy ignorant journalism.

    It's the Independent.


  • #17
    fleet_admiral
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,750 ✭✭✭fleet_admiral


    Few minutes in at the oven at 250, be grand. Make sure to use a pyrex dish


  • #18
    JacquesDeLad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 969 ✭✭✭JacquesDeLad


    I wonder what happens if you only get half-bitten by one of those spiders.


  • #19
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,305 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    fleet_admiral wrote: »
    Few minutes in at the oven at 250, be grand. Make sure to use a pyrex dish


    I think I'd sooner take my chances with an agonising four hour erection and death, than lean into hot oven with my lad in a glass dish :pac:


  • #20
    Dr Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,427 ✭✭✭Dr Strange


    JacquesDeLad wrote: »
    I wonder what happens if you only get half-bitten by one of those spiders.

    Simples, you only get half an erection and die within 2 hours. Kinda sucks.


  • #21
    henryporter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,089 ✭✭✭henryporter


    Preusse wrote: »
    Simples, you only get half an erection and die within 2 hours. Kinda sucks.

    Might not be hard enough to suck though


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  • #22
    Wacker The Attacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    Has anybody stuck one of these bananas up their ass yet?


  • #23
    whattodo1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭whattodo1


    Cant stop laughing new to here Ah is full of nutters pmsl :D


  • #24
    Wacker The Attacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    JacquesDeLad wrote: »
    I wonder what happens if you only get half-bitten by one of those spiders.

    You get a four hour semi


  • #25
    galljga1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,937 ✭✭✭galljga1


    NomadicGray wrote: »
    I blame the homosexuals

    Is that you Mick The Bull?


  • #26
    scdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 643 ✭✭✭scdublin


    *Shivers* Why did I read this when the content was quite clear from the title? Ew.


  • #27
    Aidric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,597 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    What's going on with the banana supply chain? :pac:

    http://radio.cz/en/section/news/cocaine-found-in-lidl-supermarket-in-prague


  • #28
    conorh91
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,328 ✭✭✭conorh91


    crockholm wrote: »
    Why were spiders referred to as insects? Sloppy ignorant journalism.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHqgHFcmAOc


  • #29
    catallus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    Wacker The Attacker wrote: »
    Has anybody stuck one of these bananas up their ass yet?

    Funnily enough, if the banana is over-ripe it could lead to unpleasantness, which makes it the perfect time to actually have a condom handy.


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