Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

Lau2976 · 31-01-2015 12:49AM

thelad95 wrote: »

You should have crapped on their popcorn. Someone with the IQ to ask for something like that probably wouldn't notice the difference.

Probably not tbh. Guy was a regular and had the stupidest requests. He used to call to complain about the lack of self serve nacho cheese like every time he came.

J Mysterio · 31-01-2015 03:00AM

Odeon in Limerick never has cheese for nachos/ Jalapenos

Lau2976 · 31-01-2015 03:03AM

J Mysterio wrote: »

Odeon in Limerick never has cheese for nachos/ Jalapenos

We had cheese but it wasn't self serve which was his issue.

Antar Bolaeisk · 31-01-2015 07:15AM

J Mysterio wrote: »

Odeon in Limerick never has cheese for nachos/ Jalapenos

That stuff, it's not cheese, it's some form of foul smelling liquid plastic.

I've a new minion at work who continually asks stupid questions, the most recent was, oh did you want me to do the thing you asked me to do? Grrr.

Wang King · 31-01-2015 07:22AM

Antar Bolaeisk wrote: »

That stuff, it's not cheese, it's some form of foul smelling liquid plastic.

I've a new minion at work who continually asks stupid questions, the most recent was, oh did you want me to do the thing you asked me to do? Grrr.

You're not supposed to ask interns for bj's.....found out the hard way

Grayson · 31-01-2015 10:25AM

I work in IT support. I received a report last week where someone said that the fluorescent lights on their floor were a bit too bright.

JackieChan · 31-01-2015 12:04PM

Hope you asked them to adjust this through the brightness controls on their monitor!

_Jumper_ · 31-01-2015 12:07PM

Grayson wrote: »

I work in IT support. I received a report last week where someone said that the fluorescent lights on their floor were a bit too bright.

Meh, some if them are.

Grayson · 31-01-2015 12:11PM

JackieChan wrote: »

Hope you asked them to adjust this through the brightness controls on their monitor!

We went over and explained that's not what we do.

I wanted to actually troubleshoot it but my boss wouldn't met me.

"Thank you for your report. When did this brightness start occurring. If it was around 8:00am you may wish to check the settings on your blinds as it may be an environmental factor rather than a technical issue. You may wish to reboot your windows by opening them and closing them again.
Have you attempted to utilise any workarounds? For example sunglasses or squinting? Please squint for 10 minutes and let us know if this resolves the issue"

cloud493 · 31-01-2015 12:15PM

Last year, two loafs of bread were €1.56 each. One day, there was an offer to get two loaves for €3, so a saving of 12 cent. At least 3 people came in with half eaten packs of bread, wanting a 12 cent refund.

Frynge · 31-01-2015 12:43PM

cloud493 wrote: »

Last year, two loafs of bread were €1.56 each. One day, there was an offer to get two loaves for €3, so a saving of 12 cent. At least 3 people came in with half eaten packs of bread, wanting a 12 cent refund.

All logic has escaped my brain this morning, could you explain that a bit because I just can't figure it out.

eamonnq · 31-01-2015 01:46PM

Frynge wrote: »

All logic has escaped my brain this morning, could you explain that a bit because I just can't figure it out.

I think they must have been customers who bought the bread before the 2 for 3.00 was available and thereby felt that they should be entitled to a 12c refund because they had recently bought them at 1.56 each.

cloud493 · 31-01-2015 05:56PM

eamonnq wrote: »

I think they must have been customers who bought the bread before the 2 for 3.00 was available and thereby felt that they should be entitled to a 12c refund because they had recently bought them at 1.56 each.

Yes, this.

Grayson · 31-01-2015 06:06PM

cloud493 wrote: »

Yes, this.

I did tech support in Dell years ago. You'd always get people calling saying that the computer they bought last month was cheaper now or that a new computer was faster than the fastest one they'd bought two weeks ago.

1) I'm tech support. If it's not broken there's nothing much i can do.
2) By the time you take it home and unpack it, it's outdated.

dueaug · 31-01-2015 06:10PM

Long time ago I worked for a walk in cab/taxi company. One Sunday morning lady walks in and asks for a "tea no sugar thanks". Gave out to me when I explained we were a taxi company

Had a guy ask if I could hook up a horse box to the back of a taxi once to bring a horse from the horse fair in Smithfield up to Finglas :eek:

Lingua Franca · 31-01-2015 06:16PM

"Can my 2 year old who is still in nappies join your clearly advertised as 'for 5 to 12 year olds' summer scheme? Well why not? What do you mean you're not licensed, insured or qualified for younger children, why does that matter?"

jrmb · 31-01-2015 07:48PM

" Would you turn the music off?" on a Saturday in a night club.

r93kaey5p2izun · 31-01-2015 07:55PM

To reschedule state exams to accommodate a holiday.

milltown · 02-02-2015 06:04PM

I had an apprentice fitter hand me a nut and ask if I had a screwdriver that would fit it.

Frynge · 04-02-2015 12:15AM

Couple years ago a guy in work went up to the owner and started giving out to her over him hurting himself. It took her a while to figure out what he was giving out about.

Turns out there was a new door installed and he had walked into it and hurt himself.

The next day was his last for a completly different reason.

J Mysterio · 04-02-2015 12:51AM

TPS Report errors?

aidoh · 04-02-2015 01:08AM

jimgoose wrote: »

We are. I built the R-environment in the Comp. Sci. lab in UCC in 2002.

So you're the reason I had to learn how to type in gobbledy-gook commands to do my stats on ugly, free R instead of just clicking the nice shiny buttons on lovely, expensive SPSS?

How do you sleep at night

jimgoose · 04-02-2015 01:09AM

aidoh wrote: »

So you're the reason I had to learn how to type in gobbledy-gook commands to do my stats on ugly, free R instead of just clicking the nice shiny buttons on lovely, expensive SPSS?

How do you sleep at night

No bodder, bah. I dream in C!

04-02-2015 01:17AM

An extremely common request;
Can you get the helicopter to go away please?

Me: ' yea sure, I'll just tell the lads trying to find the criminals in your area that their noise is disrupting your viewing of love/hate' !!!

Frynge · 02-03-2015 09:59PM

One of the business I'm involved in is a casino, and today I opened a hand written letter of complaint in the post from a woman who lost money in the casino and is now demanding compensation.

ivytwine · 04-03-2015 08:57PM

Frynge wrote: »

One of the business I'm involved in is a casino, and today I opened a hand written letter of complaint in the post from a woman who lost money in the casino and is now demanding compensation.

Work in online gaming. Amount of people who ask for refunds is astronomical.

Lollipops23 · 04-03-2015 09:03PM

When I was the office admin (read: office bitch) I was in charge of ordering stationary.

One of the guys came to my desk clutching a stapler and moaning about the fact that all of the staplers in the office were broken. He carried on ranting and whinging while I silently took the stapler out of his hand, opened it, inserted some staples and handed it back to him.

He at least had the grace to look sheepish.

gozunda · 04-03-2015 09:11PM

Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

Definitely the most stupid was being asked to keep the blinds closed by a sociopathic manager because 'people were watching' . The company thought she was wonderful :eek:

Toots · 04-03-2015 09:37PM

I spent 10 years working in bank branches (both behind the scenes, and out front) and could probably fill a thread with all the stupid crap I've been asked by random arseholes over the years. Some of my favourites included:

Customer: Hi, can you check my account balance please?
Me: Sure (swipes card) You have €77.
Customer: Ok, can I take out €150?
Me: I'm afraid not, there's no overdraft on that account, and there's only €77 in it.
Customer: Do I really need an overdraft? Can I not just take out the €150?
Me: ......No.

Customer: Do you sell stamps?
Me: No, but the post office is just two doors down, you'll be able to get them there.
Customer: Are you sure? I thought all the banks sold stamps these days.......

Customer came in wanting to make a withdrawal from his account, but didn't have his ATM card, didn't know his account number or his sort code. I spent about 15 minutes searching under the branch where he said his account was, even going so far as to phone them and get them to check manually to see if we could find the account number. No joy. The guy is insisting his account is in that branch, but I explain to him that we can't locate it on the system, and the branch have gone through the account opening files and can't find him. He goes mental and starts ranting about what a disgrace it all is.
Him: This is ridiculous, I can't even get hold of my own money! You can't do this! You can't stop me getting my money.
Me: Sir, I'm very sorry, but if you could find anything with your account number on it, or your ATM card, then I'll be happy to withdraw from your account.
Him: Oh no, it's too late now, the damage is done! Well, young lady, AIB has lost a customer today! I'll be closing all my accounts.
Me: This is Bank of Ireland. AIB is across the road.
In fairness to him, he apologised profusely, before making a very hasty exit. It gave most of the people who were in the queue behind him a good laugh though.

Customer: Can I do internet banking without using the internet?
Me: Well you can use the 365 service by phone, if you'd prefer?
Customer: No, I don't want to use phone or internet. I just want to be able to come in to the branch and do internet banking face to face with another human being.

bottlebrush · 04-03-2015 09:48PM

I worked as a cashier in a bank some years ago. On one occasion the queues for the cash tills were out the door onto the street. This oul chap comes in, walks past them all and up to my till, hands me in his cheque to be cashed, puts his elbows on the counter, looks around and asks me 'what are they all queuing for'?

Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

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