Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

razorblunt · 18-01-2015 01:25AM

I didn't work in IT, but used to run a "support" line:

'I can't find my printer...'
- 'This isn't the helpdesk, I can't do anything'
They refused to believe this as they kept ringing back and not ringing the proper helpdesk, reluctantly (and as I was the only person in the office at the time) I tried to help them...

-'Go into Control Panel ... Printer'
They cut me off with:
"No, no, I can print to it, I just can't find it on the floor".

'Print out 100 blank pages and walk to the noise' was all I could offer.

monkeysnapper · 18-01-2015 01:42AM

I once got given a box of green bananas from my duty manager and told to take them into office to show area manager . He was disgusted!!! . I Convinced him he'd be better taking them back out and putting back on sale to keep his future assistant manager promotion back on track .

ViveLaVie · 18-01-2015 09:38AM

Was teaching LCVP in period 7 and English to 5th years in period 8. Hadn't cleaned the board so a business question was still on the board from the earlier class. It was something along the lines of: If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this? We were studying King Lear at the time in English.

In walk my fifth years. Hand goes up. 'Miss, do we need to take down the question on the board?'

'Have a read of it there'

'I already read it Miss. Must we take it down?'

'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?'

'Miss, should I write it down or not?'

'That is a business question, Julie*.'

'So must we take it down?'

Nearly cried with despair.

thelad95 · 18-01-2015 11:22AM

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Was teaching LCVP in period 7 and English to 5th years in period 8. Hadn't cleaned the board so a business question was still on the board from the earlier class. It was something along the lines of: If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this? We were studying King Lear at the time in English.

In walk my fifth years. Hand goes up. 'Miss, do we need to take down the question on the board?'

'Have a read of it there'

'I already read it Miss. Must we take it down?'

'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?'

'Miss, should I write it down or not?'

'That is a business question, Julie*.'

'So must we take it down?'

Nearly cried with despair.

You could've just given him a straight answer instead of making a fool out of him. He'll probably be the laughing stock of the year now because of you.

RainyDay · 18-01-2015 11:24AM

razorblunt wrote: »

I didn't work in IT, but used to run a "support" line:

'I can't find my printer...'
- 'This isn't the helpdesk, I can't do anything'
They refused to believe this as they kept ringing back and not ringing the proper helpdesk, reluctantly (and as I was the only person in the office at the time) I tried to help them...

-'Go into Control Panel ... Printer'
They cut me off with:
"No, no, I can print to it, I just can't find it on the floor".

'Print out 100 blank pages and walk to the noise' was all I could offer.

The middle-aged female accounts clerk called the helpdesk.
Her: "My computer has gone down"
Me: "Oh, what happened, what were you doing"
Her: "Just a spreadsheet, then it crashed"
Me: "Any error message?"
Her: "No, it just switched off"
Me: "OK, can you switch it back on?"
Her: "Nothing is happening"
Me: "OK, how about the people around you?"
Her: "Yes, all their computers went down at the same time"
Me: "OK, how about the lights?"
Her: "Yes, all the lights went out at the same time too"
Me: "I think it might possibly be a power problem and not a computer problem. Maybe you should call the facilities guy?"
Her: "Really?"

18-01-2015 11:46AM

thelad95 wrote: »

Office jobs just sound like a cesspit of stupidity mixed with over-inflated ego's and annoying management heads with a few sane people left to pick up the slack. Much like the Office US in many ways.

Retail is exactly the same.

Whosthis · 18-01-2015 12:54PM

Stheno wrote: »

It would cost the company far less if you at least learned to figure out the basics.

I'd a "priority" call one time as the CEO couldn't log on. Turns out he'd plugged the network connection into his pc, then came in wondering why his laptop that he'd unplugged from it wouldn't log on.

It's not rocket science, it's cop on. Stats for calls to service desks which have a root cause of PEBCAK* are about 40%

That's an awful lot of money wasted, on a team of five techs that three you wouldn't need if users were educated.

*Problem exists between Chair and Keyboard

Sums are obviously not your strong point.

secondrowgal · 18-01-2015 01:08PM

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I once got given a box of green bananas from my duty manager and told to take them into office to show area manager . He was disgusted!!! . I Convinced him he'd be better taking them back out and putting back on sale to keep his future assistant manager promotion back on track .

Ah here, am I completely losing it? (could very well be!!) I have no idea what this one is about either??

L'prof · 18-01-2015 01:13PM

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

Skinny hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows l.

Decaf coffee in general

I was asked for a strong decaf before

harrymagina · 18-01-2015 01:20PM

Work in I.T. and had to apply a content filter on a network. Anyway did that and my boss comes over to me and tells me try and break the filter by looking up porn for the next hour as the network can be used by minors where its located. Broke the filter anyway.

New Home · 18-01-2015 01:20PM

L'prof wrote: »

I was asked for a strong decaf before

The strength (and flavour) of the brew doesn't have much to do with the quantity of caffeine contained, but more with how long you brew the coffee for, and the amount of coffee you use.

Caffeine is removed before the coffee beans are even roasted.

So, you can have a strongly-flavoured decaffeinated coffee.

L'prof · 18-01-2015 01:22PM

New Home wrote: »

The strength (and flavour) of the brew doesn't have much to do with the quantity of caffeine contained, but more with how long you brew the coffee for, and the amount of coffee you use.

Caffeine is removed before the coffee beans are even roasted.

So, you can have a strongly-flavoured decaffeinated coffee.

I know all that, I just don't see the point personally.

somefeen · 18-01-2015 01:28PM

secondrowgal wrote: »

Ah here, am I completely losing it? (could very well be!!) I have no idea what this one is about either??

Bananas are green before they turn yellow. Your man thought they were gone off when actually they were just nice and fresh.

Faith+1 · 18-01-2015 01:35PM

joe stodge wrote: »

Not so much in work.
I'm working for one of the German retailers, the last 3.5 years.
Working nights, stocking out and such. Good wage, alright contracted hours.

I've been applying for jobs recently, to test the waters.

I applied for one for a large lenster based retailer, working nights through an agency. There were no further details on the job.

Got a call back within the hour of applying, did I want an interview?
Ah sure go on.
Set it up for today at 4pm, I asked for further details, the lad said he'd email them on to me.

Received the email, the same poxy job I'm working now.

Rang the lad back saying I didn't want the interview as I already work for them. He said, come in anyway.
Not a chance I said, less per hour and a one year contract.
I'm on a permanent contract here.
He asked was I sure?
Dope.

I could only imagine applying for it just for the laugh only to be told you're not suitable.

ViveLaVie · 18-01-2015 01:55PM

thelad95 wrote: »

You could've just given him a straight answer instead of making a fool out of him. He'll probably be the laughing stock of the year now because of you.

I didn't make a fool out of her, she did that herself. My job is to teach the students to think critically. I genuinely thought once she questioned it she would realise herself.

18-01-2015 05:51PM

sashafierce wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Someone who gives a better, greedier, more enthusiastic blow job to the GM I'd say.

18-01-2015 06:28PM

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Was teaching LCVP in period 7 and English to 5th years in period 8. Hadn't cleaned the board so a business question was still on the board from the earlier class. It was something along the lines of: If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this? We were studying King Lear at the time in English.

In walk my fifth years. Hand goes up. 'Miss, do we need to take down the question on the board?'

'Have a read of it there'

'I already read it Miss. Must we take it down?'

'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?'

'Miss, should I write it down or not?'

'That is a business question, Julie*.'

'So must we take it down?'

Nearly cried with despair.

Eh? I remember people like you from my own school days. I had to suffer people who's only ability to "teach" English or mathematics was based on them being an inter county hurler.

Responding to a genuine question with anything other than the answer, in your case a sarcastic smart ar$e "figure it out yourself" reply, only indicates a disinterested and lazy teacher. I mean no wonder kids in Ireland dislike education if you're what they have to suffer five days per week.

Please do us all a favor and find another job. Try scaffolding, because teaching isn't really working.

wandatowell · 18-01-2015 06:32PM

I fella in work told me one time he got a phone call asking him to fax up some blank paper as the guy had run out.

Tokyo · 18-01-2015 06:39PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Eh? I remember people like you from my own school days. I had to suffer people who's only ability to "teach" English or mathematics was based on them being an inter county hurler.

Responding to a genuine question with anything other than the answer, in your case a sarcastic smart ar$e "figure it out yourself" reply, only indicates a disinterested and lazy teacher. I mean no wonder kids in Ireland dislike education if you're what they have to suffer five days per week.

Please do us all a favor and find another job. Try scaffolding, because teaching isn't really working.

Hm... to be fair, if the student in question has to ask "If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?" has anything to do with King Lear, then trying to encourage a bit of lateral thinking on their part (i.e. 'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?') isn't exactly out of the question, no?

But then again, I went to a country school where my teacher was a former inter county hurler, so what would I know.... :rolleyes:

18-01-2015 06:57PM

mike_ie wrote: »

Hm... to be fair, if the student in question has to ask "If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?" has anything to do with King Lear, then trying to encourage a bit of lateral thinking on their part (i.e. 'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?') isn't exactly out of the question, no?

But then again, I went to a country school where my teacher was a former inter county hurler, so what would I know.... :rolleyes:

Well, maybe the job of a teacher is to "teach", and not sarcastically dismiss the questions of a teenager while assuming they're supposed to know everything without being taught.

If a child asks you "excuse me sir/miss, what's 2+2?" you say "four". If you say anything else, you're not very much of a teacher.

Aongus Von Bismarck · 18-01-2015 06:58PM

John should consider what advantages lie with creating greater ties to Europe with his business. If he is to consider the tale of King Lear, it is clear that Cordelia & Lear's reliance on the King of France to help reinstate the embattled former King to his usurped throne was folly and ultimately led to the death of Lear, Cordelia and the French King himself. Based on this assessment I would say no, John should not try to expand his business to Europe.

LenaClaire · 18-01-2015 06:59PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Well, maybe the job of a teacher is to "teach", and not sarcastically dismiss the questions of a teenager while assuming they're supposed to know everything without being taught.

If a child asks you "excuse me sir/miss, what's 2+2?" you say "four". If you say anything else, you're not very much of a teacher.

The teachers that I remember the best are the ones that taught me to think for myself, rather than just providing the answers.

Tokyo · 18-01-2015 06:59PM

Deleted User wrote: »

If a child asks you "excuse me sir/miss, what's 2+2?" you say "four". If you say anything else, you're not very much of a teacher.

That's not teaching FYI, that's telling them the answer. Teaching is imparting the knowledge onto them so that they can do it themselves.

And if a student of the age where they are studying 'King Lear' level English is asking "excuse me sir/miss, what's 2+2?" level questions, after being taught how to work it out years ago, encouraging them to use some of their own brainpower to figure it out rather than just handing them the answer - that's teaching too, not pandering to laziness.

18-01-2015 07:01PM

Okay class I'm going to try teach you some critical analysis and engage the brain a bit

How dare you not spoonfeed me answers you HURLER you!! How am I going to memorise an essay now?!

New Home · 18-01-2015 07:01PM

mike_ie wrote: »

That's not teaching FYI, that's telling them the answer. Teaching is imparting the knowledge onto them so that they can do it themselves.

The old adage about giving a man a fish a day vs. teaching a man to fish and all that springs to mind...

Tokyo · 18-01-2015 07:08PM

New Home wrote: »

The old adage about giving a man a fish a day vs. teaching a man to fish and all that springs to mind...

Teach a man to fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to Google how to fish and he'll wind up looking at fish porn for the rest of his life.

anncoates · 18-01-2015 07:12PM

ViveLaVie wrote: »

I didn't make a fool out of her, she did that herself..

Most ably aided by yourself.

18-01-2015 07:23PM

mike_ie wrote: »

Hm... to be fair, if the student in question has to ask

Isn't that why they're the student and you're the teacher? If you just wanna encourage the attitude of being afraid to ask questions then fair enough. I'm only repeating what one good teacher taught me - "no such thing as a stupid question, only a stupid answer".

If a student "has" to ask...? Come on man, a student is supposed to fcuking ask!

New Home · 18-01-2015 07:25PM

mike_ie wrote: »

Teach a man to fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to Google how to fish and he'll wind up looking at fish porn for the rest of his life.

Not quite what I had in mind, but you're probably right... :rolleyes:

Tokyo · 18-01-2015 08:01PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Isn't that why they're the student and you're the teacher? If you just wanna encourage the attitude of being afraid to ask questions then fair enough. I'm only repeating what one good teacher taught me - "no such thing as a stupid question, only a stupid answer".

If a student "has" to ask...? Come on man, a student is supposed to fcuking ask!

I take it you work with other people yeah?

New guy comes up to you on Monday and asks you "how do I do this", and you show him how to do it.

New guy comes up to you on Tuesday and asks you "how do I do this", and you show him how to do it.

New guy comes up to you on Wednesday and asks you "how do I do this", and you show him how to do it.
...

<rinse and repeat every day for six months or so>

...
New guy is still coming up to you on Monday six months in and asks you "how do I do this"...

Do you show him how to do it, or do you ask him "how did you do it every day for the past six months"?

Of course I could just use your model here and just tell you that you're wrong, but, ya know, then I wouldn't be teaching anything...

Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

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