Best wedding you were ever at & why?

Gatica · 13-01-2015 01:48PM

couldn't agree more, I think "trying" to make a wedding unique only makes those differences look forced... ooh, look at us, we're so unique. (no offence meant).

Truth is everyone wants their wedding to be special, why wouldn't they? "different" things that are popular catch on and then become the norm, like flip-flops and bathroom accessories, decorations involving bird-cages, sweet-carts, chabby chic decor, country house venue, marquee venue, photo booths... all those things are great, and they've been done lots and lots in the last 3 years because they're great. They're not unique any more, but they were, once upon a time...
Point is, just do the wedding you want, whatever that is, without trying to make it unique, different or special. It's only really going to be that to you... otherwise, it's more often than not forced. Make it look pretty how you want it to look, choose food you'd enjoy eating and others would enjoy eating. Have fun, if you're having fun, so will - more than likely - most of your guests.

CaraMay · 13-01-2015 05:57PM

The best wedding - the bride was only about ten minutes late and the ceremony was held inside the venue so no trek from A to Z and no sitting in a draughty church for an hour til the bride deigned to show up.

The food was good and plenty of it and the speeches were short and not overly personal eg remember the time Johnny cut his knee on the tree / Mary walked on her glasses in the garden.

The bride and groom made the effort to talk to each table and were on the floor all night with their guests.

Dolbert · 13-01-2015 06:58PM

Good food, good drink, good music. If you don't have the above, gimmicky extras ain't gonna save the day.

An Bhanríon · 13-01-2015 07:51PM

Best weddings were my own, my sister's and one of our cousins. The main thing in all cases was the company and the fun we had. The other thing in common with all three weddings that they all reflected the couple and although they followed the traditional format each couple had left things out that they didn't want or changed things as they wished. One had no speeches, one had no cake, one had no bridesmaids or best man, one had a fiesta as a wedding car, at one the bride and groom arrived at the same time before the ceremony and were both there to welcome their guests, at another the bride wore a blue dress. All three weddings were lovely and relaxing to be at and the guests felt very welcome.

Sorry this probably doesn't help you at all! I think was I am trying to say is to do what you would like on your wedding day and don't be trying to impress people by trying to do something 'different'. Also have a good think about your guest list and your table plan. A few people came back to us after our wedding thanking us for where we had sat them because they really had a great laugh at their table.

MelanieC · 13-01-2015 09:30PM

OP here,thanks to everyone posting.

Sorry,I think I may have expressed myself incorrectly - a lot of people are saying just do what we want & don't try to do something different just to impress people........I'm not concerned with impressing people. I do want to just do whatever we want but we don"t know what that is,that's my point really!

We know we don't want to just do the same ol' same ol' that you get at every wedding but at the same time we don't know what the alternatives are either so I was just wondering if anyone had any unusual ideas/had come across any quirky features that worked well. Just to make it a bit more fun/interesting coz I find weddings boring myself tbh!

fits · 13-01-2015 09:43PM

Its just hard to tell how it will go. I was quite concerned about the feel of the venue. I don't like a lot of function rooms personally as I thing they can be too large and atmosphere can be lost. So the place we picked has a dining room and then the band will play in a different room that has the bar in it, and opens out to an enclosed courtyard. I honestly don't know if the people who come will get on and have a great time but we are doing our best to help it as much as possible. I also didn't want anywhere too fancy or where I wouldn't feel relaxed.
We want to be as relaxed as possible on the day and spend a lot of time with our guests. We'll see how it goes.

willow tree · 13-01-2015 09:52PM

Op we'd maybe need to know more about ye to make suggestions. Whats the best wedding you've been to & why? I say this as a few friends did creative things but If its not very you, there's no point sharing.

beertons · 13-01-2015 10:38PM

If you get too worked up about having something different, you mightened enjoy the day at all. Don't try to stand out. Have all your friends there, plenty of food and good music. Have a lovely time, and best of luck.

kandr10 · 13-01-2015 11:27PM

Op what was it that you found boring about the weddings you attended? I think thd easiest way to have something different is to have a different kind of venue. Tbh you'd need an idea of your budget and numbers of guests before you get into that.

cactusgal · 14-01-2015 12:02AM

Well, I know this is a cultural thing, but as a non-Irish person, I find Irish weddings very long. Verrrrrrry long, and I get bored and tired. Maybe that's just me. The nicest weddings I've been at have been evening events (ie, ceremony at 4:30 or 5, followed by dinner etc)

deathtocaptcha · 14-01-2015 12:17AM

ideal wedding:

bride & groom request and insist on no presents or donations of any kind - weddings are a huge financial drain on everyone invited - the bride & groom have prepared for it but the poor suckers who get an invite 2 months before the event don't have much time to prepare and most of the time don't actually want to go because weddings are hassle and costly (getting clothes sorted, perhaps booking hotel, getting kids minded, dogs looked after, travelling long distance etc..)

people would enjoy weddings a lot more if they were free and it cost nothing to go to them... as things stand, the average wedding would probably set the guests back a week's wage...

candytog · 14-01-2015 12:50AM

Toots wrote: »

TBH I've never been to a wedding where there was entertainment or decorations that had a huge wow factor. The best wedding I was at was my own (obviously) and all the best ones I've been at have had the following:
Food and drink on arrival: it doesn't necessarily have to be alcohol, although some venues include that as part of the package. I think we had champagne, orange juice, or tea & coffee. Some places do punch in summer or mulled wine in winter. The drinks aren't as important as food though. Not loads of it, because you won't want people stuffed, but a few sandwiches or canapes, because it can be a while between ceremony and the meal.

Good food for the meal: this is a big one. Ok, we all know that wedding food wouldn't be michelin star quality, but you can still get really nice meals. Don't skimp on the food budget, bad food will be remembered. One of my hubby's cousin's weddings stands out to me for that very reason; the food was horrendous. If your budget will stretch to it, have a choice for your starter, main, and dessert. Also provide a decent option for vegetarians. If you have any veggie friends, get some ideas from them.

Plenty of decent wine during the dinner: again, this is something that will be talked about if you get scabby with the wine. The usual recommended amount is half a bottle per person. I don't drink but I remember one particular wedding (same as the one above) where it was literally one glass of wine per guest. The glass was poured with the starters, so everyone drank it, expecting it to be refilled with the main course, but there was no more, and people were not impressed that they had to go to the bar and fend for themselves for the rest of the meal.

Drinks provided at dinner for non-drinkers: this isn't a must, but as a non-drinker it's always a nice touch to see an alternative to water. Jugs of cordial are a nice option, and not too expensive.

Speeches after the dinner: a lot of people want to do the speeches before dinner to get them out of the way (usually because they're nervous) but unless your speeches are lightening fast, your hungry guests probably won't appreciate being made hang around. Have them after the dinner when everyone's happily fed and watered.

Drinks for the toast: again, not an essential, but a nice touch. Either stand a round for your guests, or have glasses of prosecco, or have another top up of wine for the toast.

A great DJ and/or band: you don't have to have a band and a DJ, you can have a DJ alone, but whichever you choose don't skimp on it. More often than not with bands & DJs you get what you pay for. Your band or DJ can make or break the night, so you want to make sure you've got someone who'll gauge the crowd and make sure you don't have an empty dance floor.

Decent evening food: it doesn't have to be hugely fancy, sausages, goujons and sandwiches will do, provided they are good quality and there's a nice variety of tasty fillings in the sandwiches. If possible, ask the venue to put food on each table, as opposed to a buffet style serving where people go up and help themselves, because you'll usually find one or two greedy feckers who pile their plates full of food, and then by the time the last person gets there, there's nothing left.

Really what you want to provide is plenty of good food, good drink, and good music.

I like starter/soup/speeches/main personally

Gets them out of the way for the nerves, gives people a bite to eat so they aren't hungry, and it breaks up the meal nicely so the main comes out right after the speeches are done.

candytog · 14-01-2015 01:04AM

MelanieC wrote: »

OP here,thanks to everyone posting.

Sorry,I think I may have expressed myself incorrectly - a lot of people are saying just do what we want & don't try to do something different just to impress people........I'm not concerned with impressing people. I do want to just do whatever we want but we don"t know what that is,that's my point really!

We know we don't want to just do the same ol' same ol' that you get at every wedding but at the same time we don't know what the alternatives are either so I was just wondering if anyone had any unusual ideas/had come across any quirky features that worked well. Just to make it a bit more fun/interesting coz I find weddings boring myself tbh!

I've shot a lot of weddings and I personally agree a lot with what Peter Kelly AKA Franc has to say about them. Don't separate yourself from your guests, include them as much as possible.

Don't spend hours of your wedding at some location getting photographs, you don't need a good location, just a creative photographer.

Take a leaf out of the french wedding format where guests are welcome to get up and perform a party piece. And I don't mean at 3am after the DJ I mean during the reception early, in between courses, and even during the mass. I shot a french/irish wedding last year and it was brilliant, loads of sing songs, kids dancing, jokes. Harness the entertainment from your guests (and save yourself money in the process)

Keep your guests fed and watered and they will never complain no matter how barmy your wedding is.

MelanieC · 14-01-2015 01:33AM

willow tree wrote: »

Op we'd maybe need to know more about ye to make suggestions. Whats the best wedding you've been to & why? I say this as a few friends did creative things but If its not very you, there's no point sharing.

Share away willow tree! I'm open to literally anything & creative sounds right up my street! I haven't ever been to a wedding that wowed me tbh,they've all been the usual bog-standard type that every Irish couple has. They weren't bad or anything & I had a laugh at them as I was with family & friends but I'm just looking for something a bit different for my own day.

My OH is easy-going & is leaving the details pretty much up to me. His only concern is budget really & he wants us to get the best we possibly can out of our money. That's why I'm on the hunt for fun/quirky ideas in leiu of the more luxurious traditional aspects. We are happy to sacrifice some of the pricey unecessary features so it would just be nice to replace them with more unusual and fun but cost-effective features!

Basically we're looking to cut the cost but embrace the creative!

matrim · 14-01-2015 11:15AM

Without trying to sound corny it's the people that make the best weddings. I've been at weddings that had lovely food and good music but the atmosphere sucked, and I've been at them where there were problems with the food / venue / music but had a great time because I was with good friends.

willow tree · 14-01-2015 11:56AM

I still think a guide would help us help you, we're on the 4 th page & there's nothing you've said is close to what you want.. friends of mine had a pagan ceremony in a round tower in the burren, it was wow to me. They had a medieval banquet in bunratty. But her husband is American so this really impressed particularly his side. Other friends had a festival wedding ion their back garden. So a marquee with ceremony & buffet. Followed by lots of bands & food vans outside & people camped, so tents everywhere. There was other stuff but I left early as I'd a newborn. Another place was in the Pyrenees, amazing trek up to a church (no other way to get there so only able bodied & fit ish) followed by amazing veg food & byob. I can give details if you like. Sorry typing quickly.

Gatica · 14-01-2015 12:28PM

If I were to do it again, I would:

not bother with the cake, it's only there for a single photo, few people look forward to eating it or remember to try it.
not bother with the first dance, lots of people watching you, it's a bit uncomfortable, and sometimes just cringy.
spend less on the dress, as much as I loved it, I saw lots of other dresses that would've hit the mark for a fraction of the price.
Do a less formal dinner, not bother with the soup course. I'm glad we had a choice for every course, it gave people choice and was worth it.
Would have way more finger food/canapes at the start of the day - people were starving by the time dinner came around.
Subsidise the accommodation more.
Do my own make-up and ask hairdresser to redo the hair.
Stick with the same band and DJ - they were grrrrreat!
Get more sleep the night before.

I think if you found all those hotel weddings you went to boring, then don't do that yourself! Get a marquee if you can afford it, or do up some other random venue, old castle, community hall, whatever... The main thing is the people that are there. I personally don't like being too full to move, so I liked having less to eat at the US weddings. I also don't like being starving in between the ceremony and the dinner, so make sure you keep the nibbles coming for your hungry guests.
Church is always the most boring part for me, so if you're not religious, ditch the church ceremony and have it on site and under 30 mins.

Milly33 · 14-01-2015 12:44PM

Yeah no soup!! I keep saying that, I never know people to order soup just think tis something you have at home to warm you up not for dinner out..

Thanks Gatica some nice helpful tips there.. My sister is making the cake for us and was only chatting to her the other day about it and she was kinda going off a bit saying but sure you have to have a proper cake. I was like we are we are just not having a huge white one that will be stuck in the corner with no one eating it... I cant understand why people spend so much on the cake when like you said no one eats it anyway. I know a couple who had completely forgotten about theirs until the day after

shadowcat · 14-01-2015 04:29PM

First of all, congratulations on your engagement!

I'm getting married in October, and we are just starting wedding planning in earnest as we wanted to get Christmas out of the way first and we just bought a house last year, so budget is tight enough. A couple of the things that we are having is more as a laugh for the guests as I think weddings which show the couples personalities tend to be more memorable. We're planning on doing a bingo card for the speeches as the last couple of weddings I was at, bets were placed over how long the speeches would last and it was a good laugh at the table, and I found something on One Fab Day that had a wedding speech bingo template that I thought was funny. My MIL is quite prim so might not go ahead on the day mind! The other thing is that we wanted it to be personal to us rather than just the shabby chic look (which I think is lovely too) so we are doing up a "little black book" which lists a little thing about each of the guests and we're going to leave a couple on each of the tables as a bit of an ice-breaker. We're both big into films, and each of the table names will have one of our favourite films and will have a few cheap-y type props left on the table - for instance, my fiancé loves Jurassic Park, so one of the tables will have a few dinosaurs on there as well as a couple of bowls of mini eggs.

Most important of all is that you have fun planning it. Best of luck!

MelanieC · 14-01-2015 06:18PM

shadowcat wrote: »

First of all, congratulations on your engagement!

I'm getting married in October, and we are just starting wedding planning in earnest as we wanted to get Christmas out of the way first and we just bought a house last year, so budget is tight enough. A couple of the things that we are having is more as a laugh for the guests as I think weddings which show the couples personalities tend to be more memorable. We're planning on doing a bingo card for the speeches as the last couple of weddings I was at, bets were placed over how long the speeches would last and it was a good laugh at the table, and I found something on One Fab Day that had a wedding speech bingo template that I thought was funny. My MIL is quite prim so might not go ahead on the day mind! The other thing is that we wanted it to be personal to us rather than just the shabby chic look (which I think is lovely too) so we are doing up a "little black book" which lists a little thing about each of the guests and we're going to leave a couple on each of the tables as a bit of an ice-breaker. We're both big into films, and each of the table names will have one of our favourite films and will have a few cheap-y type props left on the table - for instance, my fiancé loves Jurassic Park, so one of the tables will have a few dinosaurs on there as well as a couple of bowls of mini eggs.

Most important of all is that you have fun planning it. Best of luck!

Thanks shadowcat,these are just the kind of fun,interesting ideas I'm looking for! Your wedding sounds like it's going to be great craic. Congratulations to you too!

Miaireland · 14-01-2015 06:20PM

My favorite wedding was my cousins. It was in a townhall in London, old fashioned double decker bus across London and the reception was in a bar with a cocktail bar and buffet.

livinsane · 14-01-2015 09:56PM

I've been to loads of weddings in the last few years and the elements that stand out from various ones were:

Acoustic singer playing between the ceremony and dinner (all in the same venue) while we sat around eating finger food and having drinks. I was pregnant and in the queasy stage but it was still one of the more memorable days. Stands out more than all the great wedding bands I've seen.

My sisters wedding was small (about 50 guests). After the registry office, we all drove to Charles Fort in Kinsale for photos and had champagne and sandwiches out of the boot of the limo.

Some weddings we attended where we didn't know the crowd turned out to be great fun because we just tore up the dancefloor without a care.

I've never had a bad meal at a wedding but the food isn't that important to me. If love to be served a good curry or something. Generally the less formal the day, the better the experience for me.

DM addict · 14-01-2015 11:52PM

Toots' list of things not to skimp on is exactly right. Any decent wedding I've been to has taken care of those as a bare minimum.

Um. . . fun things I've seen

- One wedding had oversized lawn games and a bouncy castle at the reception venue, which was a lot of fun and good ice-breaking for those who didn't know many people.

- A photo quest (either for kids or adults) with disposable cameras on the tables - trying to get certain pictures, etc.

- A ceremony that reflects the actual couple getting married is always nice. One couple had the rings passed round and everyone was asked to hold them and make a wish/prayer/thought/good juju for the couple (ringwarming ceremony)

- To be honest, the reason I'm struggling to come up with something is that the weddings I've really enjoyed have contained elements that truly reflected the people involved - readings that meant something to them, table decorations related to their hobbies, stuff that was them. It wasn't so much a case of "well, they decided to do the processional on camels, which was awesome" but rather "the processional was that song they always used to request at the end of a night out".

So it's not the extra element, it's the elements reflecting them. That, and the couple seeming genuinely happy, and feeling as though you're witnessing a wonderful relationship being formalised.

Milly33 · 15-01-2015 11:11AM

I like this ring passing around idea, but I might be afraid someone will loose it. Think we might do something like this maybe though just give it to the family only.

Gatica · 15-01-2015 11:20AM

We did that at our wedding. We were told it works best for smaller weddings, maybe under 50 or 40. However, we were able to do it by the ceremony starting before bridal entrance. (It can take a considerable amount of time to pass something around to many people.)
We had the rings attached to a little pillow and they were passed around on the pillow by the page-boy and groomsman. No fear of losing them there.

Milly33 · 15-01-2015 11:25AM

Good idea to have them tied on.. Oh the faces if the rings fell or if they went missing before coming back... Really like it now I must say, I was thinking of maybe having the dads give us the rings.. Maybe having his dad give me his ring, and my dad (I can just see his face doing this) giving him my ring.. Think it would be nice,

Baggy Trousers · 15-01-2015 04:26PM

Best wedding ever was my brother-in-law.
Civil ceremony on hotel, followed by quick stop in a relative's pub followed by 6 hours in a seafood restaurant right on a pier that they had booked out completely. Then back to another class pub where we had a room reserved. It was brilliant. About 40-50 people.

I have been to many traditional weddings and they all fade into one formulaic bore but I remember the one above all the time. Great idea.

mrolaf · 15-01-2015 04:28PM

no joking but it was my own and still to this day 4 years later people are still talking about it. Was v different, on a farm in a marquee and had loads of features, hot tubs, fires outside, cigars, sweet shop, i could go on but it was amazing and very memorable for the guests. Also free bar for everyone for the weekend whereby they could pull their own pints helped.

mrsbyrne · 15-01-2015 08:26PM

MelanieC wrote: »

OP here,thanks to everyone posting.

Sorry,I think I may have expressed myself incorrectly - a lot of people are saying just do what we want & don't try to do something different just to impress people........I'm not concerned with impressing people. I do want to just do whatever we want but we don"t know what that is,that's my point really!

We know we don't want to just do the same ol' same ol' that you get at every wedding but at the same time we don't know what the alternatives are either so I was just wondering if anyone had any unusual ideas/had come across any quirky features that worked well. Just to make it a bit more fun/interesting coz I find weddings boring myself tbh!

You must have some idea or picture in your heads of what your wedding day looks like.
Have confidence in your own judgment.
Don't be worried that your version of your wedding day may look dull or boring. As long as uou have plenty of tasty food and drink good dancing music and all your loved ones around you everyone will have a good time.
Doing something "quirky" only works if the quirkiness comes naturally from you.
If you copy someone else's "quirky" idea it just looks fforced and awkward.

Frigga_92 · 16-01-2015 08:46PM

Best wedding? Are we allowed vote for ourselves?

Prior to my own wedding I had only ever been to big family weddings when i was a lot younger, you know the type, your parents receive an invitation addressed to the whole family and you get dragged along. My own brother's wedding being a perfect example, 250-300 guests, a whole load of random people that they hadn't seen in a million years, the usual rubbish.
My idea of hell.
I knew when I was getting married that I didn't want any church involvement and I didn't want a big show.

We got married in Waterford Castle, we had a spiritual ceremony at 5p.m., the ceremony took about 20 minutes and we pretty much designed it ourselves. We had 11 guests at the ceremony itself. My sister was the only family member there. Later on a few more guests arrived but there was no more than 20 people there altogether. It was a scorcher of a day so after the ceremony everybody stayed outside to get started on the drinking and we went for a little walk around the grounds to take some photos.
They have 2 rooms that they use for their breakfast rooms and these open up into one big room so they set that up for us to use privately. They decorated the room, not very well but it didn't really bother me, I don't think anyone really notices decorations and the rooms are very grand anyway.
We sat down for dinner at 6:30, we got up from the dinner table at around 9 as they wanted to clear away everything and move the tables for us so everyone went outside as it was still roasting. There was a door out to one part of the garden from the room we had and they put chairs and a few tables out there for us.

My husband has a pretty good sound system at home so we brought out his amp and 4 speakers and set them up in the room. We had playlists set up on his laptop and a few of his friends, who love music, handled the music during the night too. There was never a lull in the music and all of our friends are into the same music so everyone was happy. I can understand if you are having a big wedding with people of all ages how this sort of set-up might not suit but it suited us very well as everyone liked all the music.
We weren't bothered at all about noise (not that we were being noisy but it's a risk you run when you're taking care of music yourself) and stayed up dancing until 5a.m.

Everyone had a great time, it was more of a party celebrating our marriage than a "wedding".
Nobody was put under pressure to take a day off work and nobody was put under pressure to stay the night.

It was just very relaxed and laidback and it was exactly what we wanted it to be.

The next day we had a get together at our house, got pizza and I rang my parents to tell them I was married and then they spread the word. The funniest part was posting it on facebook, lots of shocked reactions :pac:

Best wedding you were ever at & why?

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