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Our 17 year old uni student evicted from digs

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 481 ✭✭Deenie123


    davo10 wrote: »
    I don't think you are right on these points. They do not have a duty of care in the sense of what you are referring to, there is a minimum age you must have reached before you can attend third level institutions. Of course they must provide a safe learning environment, prevent discrimination/ bullying etc but they are not responsible for providing food/shelter/ drinking money etc for students.

    As for being a "child" but if I'm not mistaken, anyone above the age of 16 can be tried in court as an adult so to say WIT are responsible for the OP's son because he is only 17 is a stretch.

    OP gave you phoned WIT accomodation yet to find out their side of the story ?

    I wouldn't be entirely sure on that one. At the very least, if they're going to evict a minor I would expect that the parents need to be informed by them and arrangements made for the return of belongings. Not just walking in and changing the locks. The college and the OP's son are in entirely different bargaining positions - that shouldn't be ignored.

    There also seems to be an assumption going on here that the college would only act flawlessly, not sure why - nobody's perfect... And there's a former WIT student saying rent is paid by the semester, yet the OP says it was due monthly. That, to me, says it's not college owned accommodation and suggests that the OP's son may not be getting fair treatment. Which is why I said, and would say again, the OP needs to get down to WIT and get to the bottom of it and fight his son's corner about his belongings and finding somewhere to stay.

    Kids don't magically become adults because of a birthday, it's life experience, age, and maturing into an adult that makes a person an adult. At 17, fresh from school and probably still very immature, the kid is simply not an adult. They can't be expected to behave like a 22 or 23 year old would. I mean ffs, there were kids in my year in school who turned 17 before the end of transition year.

    Don't get me wrong, if it was my son I would read him the riot act over this, but I wouldn't automatically assume that the other party is 100% above board here and I would sort it out for the kid, because a 17 year old (no matter what it may be convenient to think) is NOT an adult.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,926 ✭✭✭davo10


    OP, in the best interests of both yourself and your son (and nominally for this thread) it would be best for you to contact the accomadation, find out if it is a WIT accomadation or privately owned, what type of tenancy your son had, and why he was kicked out. It would be great if you posted the details, it saves everyone guessing what your rights are.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,951 ✭✭✭dixiefly


    As a parent of a student away from home that doesnt get any grant or support I have to be honest and say that it really bugs me that it is possible for students to pi$$ away the grant like this.
    I know that socialising is part of student life but the grants should not be paid directly into the student account. In a case like this where the grant system was abused then it should be withdrawn.

    Best of luck to the OP in getting it sorted.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,286 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Organise to meet with them (not in the presence of your son)- be polite- and get to the bottom of all of this. You've been fed a line by your son, perhaps there is an element of truth in it- perhaps not- that is something you can discuss with him another day. Find out the truth in the situation- in as polite, non-confrontational, manner as possible. Discuss with them- whether, or not, its possible to get over the impasse you are currently at. When you've organised a solution- and there always is a solution of sorts- at that stage tell your 17 year old what he is to do. It is non-optional for him- he obeys, or he comes home. Its time to spell out the letter of the law to your son- he was treated as an adult- he abused that trust- until he earns that trust again- he does what he is told.

    I'm another person who didn't get free fees- and worked my way through college. I did all manner of poorly paid undesirable jobs- to make ends meet. Sometimes I ended up with no money at all for a week or two- it happened. Going to college marks a significant milestone in growing up- you have to take responsibility for yourself and your actions- and where once your Mum or Dad would bail you out if things went wrong- that is no longer going to happen- you have to learn to stand on your own two feet. Unfortunately- your son is not yet showing this degree of maturity- and until he does- you are going to have to treat him as a child............


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 801 ✭✭✭Mary63


    There is no point in meeting up with anyone unless you have the cheque for the two month fees in your pocket.

    The money has to be paid and that is all there is to it.Babbling on about duty of care to a minor,ie I as a landlord have to take that into consideration in just rediculous,its time your son grew up and just because you have sorted out his mess ups all his life doesnt mean that I now have to do it too.

    Gather up everything you have bought him for christmas and return it to the shops for a full refund.Lodge the money to your bank account and write a cheque for the landlord.

    Dont waste your time appealing or making special a special case for your ds or appealing on the grounds that you are both unemployed,no one cares least of all the landlord.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,926 ✭✭✭davo10


    Organise to meet with them (not in the presence of your son)- be polite- and get to the bottom of all of this. You've been fed a line by your son, perhaps there is an element of truth in it- perhaps not- that is something you can discuss with him another day. Find out the truth in the situation- in as polite, non-confrontational, manner as possible. Discuss with them- whether, or not, its possible to get over the impasse you are currently at. When you've organised a solution- and there always is a solution of sorts- at that stage tell your 17 year old what he is to do. It is non-optional for him- he obeys, or he comes home. Its time to spell out the letter of the law to your son- he was treated as an adult- he abused that trust- until he earns that trust again- he does what he is told.

    I'm another person who didn't get free fees- and worked my way through college. I did all manner of poorly paid undesirable jobs- to make ends meet. Sometimes I ended up with no money at all for a week or two- it happened. Going to college marks a significant milestone in growing up- you have to take responsibility for yourself and your actions- and where once your Mum or Dad would bail you out if things went wrong- that is no longer going to happen- you have to learn to stand on your own two feet. Unfortunately- your son is not yet showing this degree of maturity- and until he does- you are going to have to treat him as a child............

    Ditto, and we all knew people who flamed out in the first semester, pissed away their grants, failed exams, got kicked out of student accomadation.

    OP, apart from the situation with living quarters, it might be no harm having a discussion with your son about attendance at college and how his course is going.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Mary63 wrote: »
    There is no point in meeting up with anyone unless you have the cheque for the two month fees in your pocket.

    The money has to be paid and that is all there is to it.Babbling on about duty of care to a minor,ie I as a landlord have to take that into consideration in just rediculous,its time your son grew up and just because you have sorted out his mess ups all his life doesnt mean that I now have to do it too.

    Gather up everything you have bought him for christmas and return it to the shops for a full refund.Lodge the money to your bank account and write a cheque for the landlord.

    Dont waste your time appealing or making special a special case for your ds or appealing on the grounds that you are both unemployed,no one cares least of all the landlord.

    You're speaking as a Landlord. For one moment, think as a parent. As a parent, I really feel for the whole family. Our kids have to be let free and make their own mistakes. Not all 17 year olds are street wise and independent. Most will make mistakes, no matter if they are grant aided or not. I sincerely hope the family gets through this and he gets to continue his education, gain a degree, a good job and becomes a mature, happy member of society. Happy Christmas to all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 481 ✭✭anonyanony


    You're speaking as a Landlord. For one moment, think as a parent. As a parent, I really feel for the whole family. Our kids have to be let free and make their own mistakes. Not all 17 year olds are street wise and independent. Most will make mistakes, no matter if they are grant aided or not. I sincerely hope the family gets through this and he gets to continue his education, gain a degree, a good job and becomes a mature, happy member of society. Happy Christmas to all.

    This take over his accounts for the grant and pay the back rent asap and tell them you are paying future rent, giving him the rest as spending money. Once you paid the back rent and tell them you are now taking over the payment they might let him stay if the eviction was only due to rent.

    If he fails xmas exams don't worry to much it's first semester of first year he should be easily able to pass the summer repeats.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 980 ✭✭✭Dick Turnip


    Mary63 wrote: »

    Dont waste your time appealing or making special a special case for your ds.

    What the hell is a ds?? Given the tone of your posts here so far I keep imagining you mean dickhead son!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    What the hell is a ds?? Given the tone of your posts here so far I keep imagining you mean dickhead son!

    It's 'txt spk' and not permitted as per the charter & an on thread warning here.

    Folks can you please stay on topic.


  • Registered Users Posts: 532 ✭✭✭Arbitrary


    Mary63 wrote: »
    There is no point in meeting up with anyone unless you have the cheque for the two month fees in your pocket.

    The money has to be paid and that is all there is to it.Babbling on about duty of care to a minor,ie I as a landlord have to take that into consideration in just rediculous,its time your son grew up and just because you have sorted out his mess ups all his life doesnt mean that I now have to do it too.

    Gather up everything you have bought him for christmas and return it to the shops for a full refund.Lodge the money to your bank account and write a cheque for the landlord.

    Dont waste your time appealing or making special a special case for your ds or appealing on the grounds that you are both unemployed,no one cares least of all the landlord.

    Okay, Mary. I think you've made your point already at this stage. There's no need to drive it home in such a callous manner. You'd swear you're the landlord in question with the way you've repeatedly posted your views on this thread.

    OP

    I don't agree with the manner in which Mary has tried to get her point across, however, I do agree with her point, the rent needs to be paid in full asap.

    Echo what everyone else said, you need to get to the bottom of this. You're also going to have to face the fact that he may not be able to return if something severe triggered this, in which case budgeting and alternative accommodation / arrangements will need to be made. Can he get a part time job perhaps?

    Perhaps you could try out a small credit union loan to cover the immediate burden. If your suspicions of him pissing it away are true, then a part time job will give him less time to party. Everyone makes mistakes, what's important is that he learns from them.

    Good luck.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,179 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    The appropriate parenting approach will depend on a whole lot of background information that we don't have: I'm not usually in favour of just taking over and rescuing children or young adults who make mistakes, it's generally more effective to support them to work out their own solutions.

    But there could be a whole lot of other factors which mean that's not appropriate here - including the fact that a parent co-signed the contract, and so is probably legally liable.

    But I do agree: bottom line, the rent needs to be paid before any possible on-going solution can even be considered.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 801 ✭✭✭Mary63


    Sorry,ds means dear son(I think).

    I didnt realise it was a very serious crime to use the term here,I will say son in future.

    I am a landlord and a parent maryanne,I have to find 13,000 euros to pay for my students erasmus year abroad as well as pay school fees for three more.I have properties let and I am not a charity,the deal is you pay me rent on time and I provide you with clean,well equipped accomodation.

    I dont go out drinking or having expensive meals out so why should I subsidise the ops son or the students I rent to myself. If any of the students I provide accomodation to try this on I will evict them immediately.I have four teenagers of my own freeloading off me,I am not about to take on a fifth.

    I couldnt care less where this or any student ends up,I have checked my bank account to make sure my tenants have paid me up to date,they can tell all sob stories to Vincent de Paul,this guy isnt homeless,if he cant afford to pay whats due he can go back home to his parents,simple as.

    I doubt if his stuff is locked up anywhere,he has probably lost most of his possessions or else sold them to pay the drinks bill.

    I cant believe his folks believe this nonsense.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Mod Note:

    Mary63, your posts are getting very personalised now and in no way helpful to the OP. Spouting accusations is wholly unfair on the OP and their son, this is an accommodation and property forum, not a parenting one - I suggest any further posts are kept within the remit of this forum. It you can't do then then please refrain from posting.

    Also, do not discuss moderation on thread - it causes threads to go off topic.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭MarkAnthony


    Why's everyone getting so hot under the collar. 17 year olds are stupid, this one has done something stupid, get involved sort it out, no Xmas presents, learn and move on.

    We all acted the maggot at Uni some of us just learned not to get caught.

    They can't hold his possessions, contact FLAC if needed.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,656 ✭✭✭Royal Legend


    There were a number of students arrested in the city following on from the "Christmas Day" frolics

    There are a large number of little scroats who get away from Mammy for the first time and go completely loopy once they get their freedom.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    This looks to me like an illegal eviction if the house is privately owned and managed by some local property management agent, or even privately owned by someone working in the college who may have got maintenance staff from the college to change the locks?

    OP you need to find out who owns the house and also the only way your son is a licensee is if the landlord was living in the house or if there are significant areas of the house which are "Private" or "off-Limits" to the students living in the rooms. if they all share all the main areas of the house together then he is a tenant in a house share and has a case against the landlord for illegal eviction and either way a case can be taken for the theft/illegal retention of your son's belongings.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14 christopherb


    Hi All,

    Thanks for all the advice, over yesterday and after a few frantic phone calls we managed to sort it out. SVP we're good enough to write him a cheque ('wit' addressed) for the owed rent, and he's now back in his room.
    Still don't know the 'full story' regards where the money went, but he'll be home soon enough, I'll deal with the ****e then.

    There's 2 pieces of advice I'd take from this thread if anyone else ever finds themselves in a similar situation. 1 Contact the accommodation office or the landlord. 2 Take control of the bank account.

    All the Bast.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    Hi All,

    Thanks for all the advice, over yesterday and after a few frantic phone calls we managed to sort it out. SVP we're good enough to write him a cheque ('wit' addressed) for the owed rent, and he's now back in his room.
    Still don't know the 'full story' regards where the money went, but he'll be home soon enough, I'll deal with the ****e then.

    There's 2 pieces of advice I'd take from this thread if anyone else ever finds themselves in a similar situation. 1 Contact the accommodation office or the landlord. 2 Take control of the bank account.

    All the Bast.

    As my mother says to me to this day. "Your not to old for a slap round the ear".
    I'm 36.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 481 ✭✭anonyanony


    Hi All,

    Thanks for all the advice, over yesterday and after a few frantic phone calls we managed to sort it out. SVP we're good enough to write him a cheque ('wit' addressed) for the owed rent, and he's now back in his room.
    Still don't know the 'full story' regards where the money went, but he'll be home soon enough, I'll deal with the ****e then.

    There's 2 pieces of advice I'd take from this thread if anyone else ever finds themselves in a similar situation. 1 Contact the accommodation office or the landlord. 2 Take control of the bank account.

    All the Bast.

    Glad it's sorted but this is why I don't give to charities, I mean they give donated money to a kid that more then likely pissed away his grant money rather then pay his bills, I seen it locally too svp are terrible at giving out money to people that actually deserve it.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 880 ✭✭✭Rachiee


    I was in student accmodation at WIT and remember it was a licensee agreement rather than a lease which is probably why they didn't really have to follow any sort of proceedure. I remember being very unhappy with the service and how strict it was and how expense and I got utterly fleeced on the deposit.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,268 ✭✭✭✭uck51js9zml2yt


    Hi All,

    Thanks for all the advice, over yesterday and after a few frantic phone calls we managed to sort it out. SVP we're good enough to write him a cheque ('wit' addressed) for the owed rent, and he's now back in his room.
    Still don't know the 'full story' regards where the money went, but he'll be home soon enough, I'll deal with the ****e then.

    There's 2 pieces of advice I'd take from this thread if anyone else ever finds themselves in a similar situation. 1 Contact the accommodation office or the landlord. 2 Take control of the bank account.

    All the Bast.

    Glad to see its sorted but I wonder about SVP bailing him out due to his own carelessness.

    OP I suggest he gets a part time job to pay them back. He has to take responsibility for his actions and this would be a good place to start.
    SVP are short enough on funds for those who really need it through no fault of their own.
    They bailed him(and you out), now responsibility needs to be taken and them repaid.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,771 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    anonyanony wrote: »
    Glad it's sorted but this is why I don't give to charities, I mean they give donated money to a kid that more then likely pissed away his grant money rather then pay his bills, I seen it locally too svp are terrible at giving out money to people that actually deserve it.
    My thoughts too


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 481 ✭✭Deenie123


    Glad to see its sorted but I wonder about SVP bailing him out due to his own carelessness.

    OP I suggest he gets a part time job to pay them back. He has to take responsibility for his actions and this would be a good place to start.
    SVP are short enough on funds for those who really need it through no fault of their own.
    They bailed him(and you out), now responsibility needs to be taken and them repaid.

    I feel a bit like this myself, but on the other hand, you have a situation where there's a teenager whose parents have no money to sort out this situation he's gotten himself into and it's looking like screwing up once as a teenager could potentially cost him his college education.

    He'll now be able to stay in college, focus on his exams, get his qualification and get a good job at the end of it (hopefully). Or at least a better job than he'd otherwise get. Over the summer he can get a job and put aside €20 a week and pay it back to SVP.

    If you want to go down the route of blaming people for needing SVP, I mean technically a single mother who can't afford to put the heat on got herself in that situation as well when she didn't use adequate protection and she's more likely to need a lot more help. People get themselves into situations, we're all human, we're all flawed and some people are more prone to screwing up than others. Without meaning any disrespect to the OP, it was they who sent their 17 year old to college too young. So do we blame the OP for the son's rent disappearing?

    My point is, stop playing the blame game on this one. The kid's gotten a scare and will have learned a lot over the last week. Now if the OP follows through he'll make good the situation and will pay that money back to SVP.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭obplayer


    Glad to see its sorted but I wonder about SVP bailing him out due to his own carelessness.

    OP I suggest he gets a part time job to pay them back. He has to take responsibility for his actions and this would be a good place to start.
    SVP are short enough on funds for those who really need it through no fault of their own.
    They bailed him(and you out), now responsibility needs to be taken and them repaid.

    I came late into this thread and the only comment I am going to make is this, try to remember he is 17 not 37. He has behaved badly but at that age he deserves a second chance. Let's hope he makes good use of it and, yes, pays back SVP when he is able.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,085 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    Its good that St V De Paul stepped on to help.

    17 yos do stupid things. Probably why i feel strongly about kids starting school later so that they're older and hopefully a bit more sensible, by the time they get to Uni.

    Op you handled it well.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 161 ✭✭Freddie Mercurys Bolero


    I am agog at SVP bailing him out. I hope you are going to ensure he takes responsibility for this rather than allowing him to get off Scot free. I really struggled for money during college and never would have even thought to go to SVP, I would have thought SVP were for people who were in desperate need.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 947 ✭✭✭zef


    I am agog at SVP bailing him out. I hope you are going to ensure he takes responsibility for this rather than allowing him to get off Scot free. I really struggled for money during college and never would have even thought to go to SVP, I would have thought SVP were for people who were in desperate need.

    The SVP are big into education- because it is a route out of poverty. This family were in desperate need - the son might have had to drop out.
    Why are you shaming a person for receiving a charitable donation? You all assume the son drank the money, anything could have happened, theft, loss etc, even the dad doesn't know the full story.
    I think svp were right to help out this young man. Would he be better off languishing on the dole?
    Glad you got it sorted OP.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭MarkAnthony


    zef wrote: »
    The SVP are big into education- because it is a route out of poverty. This family were in desperate need - the son might have had to drop out.
    Why are you shaming a person for receiving a charitable donation? You all assume the son drank the money, anything could have happened, theft, loss etc, even the dad doesn't know the full story.
    I think svp were right to help out this young man. Would he be better off languishing on the dole?
    Glad you got it sorted OP.

    +1 but working a PT job and paying them back will teach him some excellent lessons as well as eventually giving him a few quid to have a good time, which should never be funded by anyone, no matter their means, other than the person themselves. I'd get on to SVP and find out what they want him to do with the ten hours a week hes going to work for them for free for the rest of the next academic year.

    It will also look great on his CV.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Ok I think this thread has come to completion.

    /Thread closed.


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