Breastfeeding in Public places

cyning · 04-12-2014 03:28PM

EazyD wrote: »

In the vast majority of places it is never an issue, all I'm saying is common sense and consideration should prevail.

But where is it not ok? That's what I don't understand...

kylith · 04-12-2014 03:38PM

dubstarr wrote: »

Dundrum have a feeding room,they have bottle heaters and lovely comfy chairs and toys for teh other kids.Also a water cooler.
I have used them a few times but if im having something to eat with my other kids well im not gonna pack everyone up and toddle off to a feeding room.
I had 3 kids under 3 1/2 and if i got them settled and baby needed feeding then i fed the baby.

I have to laugh when my 3rd son was born i also had a 12 and 11 year old sons.Now if anyone was to b e embarrassed it should have been them but they werent

Well, that's the thing, isn't it? If you're wandering around a shopping centre and the baby decides it's hungry it would make sense to drop into a breastfeeding room and take care of business in comfort, but if you're halfway through lunch it makes no sense to pack everything up again and abandon your food in order to go do something that you can do with just as much ease and comfort where you're sitting.

Nanazolie · 04-12-2014 03:39PM

cyning wrote: »

But where is it not ok? That's what I don't understand...

Apparently in places of high standards, like a posh hotel or restaurant. The kind of places where children are not welcome, whatever their age

pwurple · 04-12-2014 03:45PM

Nanazolie wrote: »

Apparently in places of high standards, like a posh hotel or restaurant. The kind of places where children are not welcome, whatever their age

Children are very much welcome in posh restaurants and hotels. I bring mine without any issues whatsoever.

Are people living on a different planet to me or something?

Flippyfloppy · 04-12-2014 03:48PM

pwurple wrote: »

Children are very much welcome in posh restaurants and hotels. I bring mine without any issues whatsoever.

Are people living on a different planet to me or something?

It seems so. I was beginning to think breastfeeding haters were just a myth until the claridges incident and seeing this thread! I never had any issues when out with mine!

EazyD · 04-12-2014 03:48PM

cyning wrote: »

But where is it not ok? That's what I don't understand...

If your in any establishment that has the facilities to do it, I see no reason why it should be considered unreasonable to use them as opposed to doing it in the open. If the facilities aren't there well then by all means they are entitled to do it then and there. You seem to overlook the fact that I actually support it

Neyite · 04-12-2014 03:50PM

dubstarr wrote: »

Dundrum have a feeding room,they have bottle heaters and lovely comfy chairs and toys for teh other kids.Also a water cooler.
I have used them a few times but if im having something to eat with my other kids well im not gonna pack everyone up and toddle off to a feeding room.
I had 3 kids under 3 1/2 and if i got them settled and baby needed feeding then i fed the baby.

I have to laugh when my 3rd son was born i also had a 12 and 11 year old sons.Now if anyone was to b e embarrassed it should have been them but they werent

I'm a fair bit away from Dundrum I'm afraid.

I've lived in my city for about 15 years and I cant think of one place that offers a feeding room that isn't basically a tiny changing room with a chair - including Mothercare. And even that one, two buggies and its jammers. There is no way that you, a buggy, and any other children you have would fit in there if there was another mum in there already.

The other decent one was Boots, decent size, which I used twice. The second time I got locked in and it was a while before anyone heard me banging to get out. So I wasn't inclined to use that one again!

?Cee?view · 04-12-2014 04:07PM

Nanazolie wrote: »

Apparently in places of high standards, like a posh hotel or restaurant. The kind of places where children are not welcome, whatever their age

As opposed to the Vatican in the Sistine Chapel where the Pope has said it's ok. They're mad liberals in the Vatican you know

JanaMay · 04-12-2014 04:11PM

Ok, just a few questions, as I am genuinely baffled:

- As asked before by another poster - when, where and why is it appropriate to breastfeed in public according to those who disagree with the current law?

- If I have issues or feel uncomfortable around certain behaviour in public, even if it's protected by law, should those people have to hide themselves away or 'be discreet' so as not to upset my personal sensibilities, or should I deal with my own discomfort?

- Do people really understand the workings of the human body as regards exclusive breastfeeding?

Please, to those considering breastfeeding their future children, don't let this thread put you off. I breastfed for almost 3 years and only once had a negative experience. For me it was grand. Just a clean, cheap and convenient way of feeding my children, anytime anywhere.

04-12-2014 04:12PM

pwurple wrote: »

Children are very much welcome in posh restaurants and hotels. I bring mine without any issues whatsoever.

Are people living on a different planet to me or something?

Must be my planet.

I'm starting to think I'll have to to go SpecSavers. I've never once suffered the indignity of being in the same room as a woman 'whipping her boobs out' or having the girls on full show while feeding an infant.

Not once. Not in a lifetime of hotels, restaurants, offices, shopping centres, university etc. I've seen a good few breastfeeders (including one during a lecture), but never have I been compelled to stare at an exhibitionist making a point of plonking a lactating breast in full public view.

Funny, eh?

Rubberchikken · 04-12-2014 04:16PM

it makes sense to breastfeed if you can/want. free/always available and nourishing.

tere will always be people/places with issues around it, but what's the other option - a screaming baby/a mother forced to feed her

child in a toilet? honestly it's not rocket science - babies get hungry - mother chooses to breastfeed (btw most women do it discreetly), everyone happy.

CramCycle · 04-12-2014 04:21PM

Neyite wrote: »

No. They are Baby Changing rooms that have a chair, presumably to sit down on in addition to a changing mat, nappy bin and sink.

I have never seen a 'breastfeeding' room.

dubstarr wrote: »

Dundrum have a feeding room,they have bottle heaters and lovely comfy chairs and toys for teh other kids.Also a water cooler.
I have used them a few times but if im having something to eat with my other kids well im not gonna pack everyone up and toddle off to a feeding room.
I had 3 kids under 3 1/2 and if i got them settled and baby needed feeding then i fed the baby.

I have to laugh when my 3rd son was born i also had a 12 and 11 year old sons.Now if anyone was to b e embarrassed it should have been them but they werent

Neyite wrote: »

I'm a fair bit away from Dundrum I'm afraid.

I've lived in my city for about 15 years and I cant think of one place that offers a feeding room that isn't basically a tiny changing room with a chair - including Mothercare. And even that one, two buggies and its jammers. There is no way that you, a buggy, and any other children you have would fit in there if there was another mum in there already.

The other decent one was Boots, decent size, which I used twice. The second time I got locked in and it was a while before anyone heard me banging to get out. So I wasn't inclined to use that one again!

Beat me to it, my wife used it a few times, said it is lovely, nice music, peaceful and clean. It is unfortunately the only place any room like this was available. The reason it is available other than keeping some of their clientele happy is that Dundrum is quite packed most of the time, and you bound to have people bumping into you constantly (not on purpose), hence the need, in a restaurant, its less likely.

dubstarr · 04-12-2014 04:26PM

Im miles from Dundrum myself its just to point out that decent feeding rooms are few and far between.

SpaceTime · 04-12-2014 04:32PM

I just think it's long overdue that we stopped pandering to the utterly unreasonable requests of puritanical weirdos who think bodies are 'dirty'.

Nanazolie · 04-12-2014 04:43PM

pwurple wrote: »

Children are very much welcome in posh restaurants and hotels. I bring mine without any issues whatsoever.

Are people living on a different planet to me or something?

I was told on the Indo website that nope, babies are not welcome in high end restaurants where others want to eat in peace. I have the feeling breastfeeding is not the only issue here, but a wider one around motherhood and procreation.

Mark Tapley · 04-12-2014 04:57PM

I am surprised by this thread . I thought you might have the odd crank who would have a problem with breastfeeding in a restaurant.
A definition of discretion is " the freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation " so staying at the table and feeding your baby is showing discretion.
There also seems to be snobbery involved with people going on about acceptable behaviour in fancy restaurants. Breastfeeding is not vulgar and not akin to farting,although there can be some little burps.

FullblownRose · 04-12-2014 05:03PM

Even farting isn't exactly vulgar considering that it is involuntary..unless it's overt and accompanied by crude remarks..

volchitsa · 04-12-2014 05:08PM

andyman wrote: »

Some breastfeeding women can just as delicate as some members of the public. I nearly lost my job because of a breastfeeding woman. I was working in a hotel years ago and was handing food to a table. A woman was breastfeeding her child. I was 18 and had never witnessed it before so naturally, I was a little thrown off at first but got over it pretty quickly

She went to the owner (God rest his soul) saying that I was a vile human being and he sacked me on the spot. He rang me the next day, apologised and asked me to come back.

I still see her about every so often and I can't stand people like her.

People don't become saints just because they are breastfeeding, if she's the kind of person to be nasty to restaurant staff when she's not feeding she's not likely to be any nicer when she is.

But of course there's another point there, which is that it's a shame that we live in a society where a youngster can get to 18 and never have seen a woman breastfeeding. You prove the argument against covering up there, IMO.

I was quite pleased once when one of my children about 8 or 9 at the time expressed shock at seeing a tiny baby being bottle fed, he'd only ever seen his siblings and baby cousins being breast fed, and he hadn't realized that some people didn't do that.

FullblownRose · 04-12-2014 05:17PM

volchitsa wrote: »

People don't become saints just because they are breastfeeding, if she's the kind of person to be nasty to restaurant staff when she's not feeding she's not likely to be any nicer when she is.

But of course there's another point there, which is that it's a shame that we live in a society where a youngster can get to 18 and never have seen a woman breastfeeding. You prove the argument against covering up there, IMO.

I was quite pleased once when one of my children about 8 or 9 at the time expressed shock at seeing a tiny baby being bottle fed, he'd only ever seen his siblings and baby cousins being breast fed, and he hadn't realized that some people didn't do that.

Thoroughly agree about people not becoming saints etc.

Just a thought though- Maybe he was an only or older child. I dont think it's indicative of an anti breasfeeding culture in itself. I was the elder of 2 kids and have no idea how my sibling was fed as a baby. I eclusively extended b.f'd my own child though. Anyone can overreact to something innocuous because of various factors and perhaps wonder why afterwards.

pwurple · 04-12-2014 06:00PM

Nanazolie wrote: »

I was told on the Indo website that nope, babies are not welcome in high end restaurants where others want to eat in peace. I have the feeling breastfeeding is not the only issue here, but a wider one around motherhood and procreation.

Claridges manager requires re-education to get them up to the standard of other similarly priced establishments.

lazygal · 04-12-2014 06:04PM

I've breastfed two and I'm still feeding my young child. I've fed in countless places, even at a funeral. No one noticed, or if they did they kept it to themselves. The only people who were ever shocked by it were younger cousins of mine but I'm glad they've seen a normal breastfeeding scene, ie me feeding at a table while eating my own lunch.
I never bothered being discrete (whatever that is supposed to mean) and no way would mine have fed while being draped with a heavy napkin. It really says more about how people feel about babies feeding the way they are supposed to than anything else that anyone would be freaked out by it. If you are not freaked out by a bottle, don't be freaked out by a breastfeed. My little girl 'feeds' her teddies now, its a completely normal thing for her.

FullblownRose · 04-12-2014 06:12PM

https://www.etsy.com/ie/listing/205480308/needle-felted-tandem-nursing-mother-with?ref=sr_gallery_34&ga_search_query=breastfeeding+dolls&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

Piliger · 04-12-2014 06:16PM

Anyone who finds breast feeding uncomfortable or objectionable has a serious and perverted mind.

OldNotWIse · 04-12-2014 06:16PM

volchitsa wrote: »

People don't become saints just because they are breastfeeding, if she's the kind of person to be nasty to restaurant staff when she's not feeding she's not likely to be any nicer when she is.

But of course there's another point there, which is that it's a shame that we live in a society where a youngster can get to 18 and never have seen a woman breastfeeding. You prove the argument against covering up there, IMO.

I was quite pleased once when one of my children about 8 or 9 at the time expressed shock at seeing a tiny baby being bottle fed, he'd only ever seen his siblings and baby cousins being breast fed, and he hadn't realized that some people didn't do that.

Did it cross your pleased mind that the woman might have been bottle feeding because of a medical condition or because she had inadequate support trying to breastfeed? You don't want to be stared at or considered abnormal for breastfeeding, the same courtesy should be extended to those who can't.

volchitsa · 04-12-2014 06:55PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Did it cross your pleased mind that the woman might have been bottle feeding because of a medical condition or because she had inadequate support trying to breastfeed? You don't want to be stared at or considered abnormal for breastfeeding, the same courtesy should be extended to those who can't.

I'm not stupid, you know.
In fact since then one of my sisters was devastated at not "succeeding" at breast feeding, and I genuinely believe what I told her then, which is not to see it as a competition, and that parenting is about so much more than what food the child got before it is even old enough to remember. So no need to have a go at me, thanks.

All I was saying was that my son (who was about 8 at the time and is now a young adult) was so used to all the mothers he knew breastfeeding that he had never been in close contact with bottle feeding, which is in fact still by far the more usual method of feeding babies in Ireland. I think I'm entitled to be pleased that my children have had that privilege, that they won't feel the embarrassment that several posters here (and I don't even mean the seriously weird ones) have shown evidence of feeling. It's not a criticism of

Venus In Furs · 05-12-2014 12:22AM

nm wrote: »

I dont feel particularly strongly on this but just to play devil advocate then - so if it wasn't illegal, you'd be cool with people taking a **** in public due to it being natural and well, they NEEDED to **** right there, so that's that?

Sure if you don't want to see it, look away. Yea?

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

It is illegal so your point is moot.

Not to mention it being downright unhygienic to feed a baby your urine/faecal matter, no matter how hungry they are.
At least wait until they're toddlers and at the liable-to-eat-anything-including-sh1t phase.

cassid · 05-12-2014 01:40AM

I remember my first time breastfeeding in public, I was a tad shy. My friend was with me, keeping an eye out for people looking at me !!!. When the wee man was almost finished, this eldery man walked over to us and said to me are you feeding your baby and I just looked at him with my eyes almost popping out of my head. He then said, its just wonderful to see young woman feeding their babies, and great to see little babies coming into the world. I thought he was coming over to say something unpleasant but he was so nice, I had to give me a little hug, he made my first public breastfeeding experience so positive, it will always stay with me.

dubstarr · 05-12-2014 07:46AM

cassid wrote: »

I remember my first time breastfeeding in public, I was a tad shy. My friend was with me, keeping an eye out for people looking at me !!!. When the wee man was almost finished, this eldery man walked over to us and said to me are you feeding your baby and I just looked at him with my eyes almost popping out of my head. He then said, its just wonderful to see young woman feeding their babies, and great to see little babies coming into the world. I thought he was coming over to say something unpleasant but he was so nice, I had to give me a little hug, he made my first public breastfeeding experience so positive, it will always stay with me.

Its great when you get a positive reaction.Really boosts your confidence.

OldNotWIse · 05-12-2014 11:10AM

volchitsa wrote: »

I'm not stupid, you know.
In fact since then one of my sisters was devastated at not "succeeding" at breast feeding, and I genuinely believe what I told her then, which is not to see it as a competition, and that parenting is about so much more than what food the child got before it is even old enough to remember. So no need to have a go at me, thanks.

All I was saying was that my son (who was about 8 at the time and is now a young adult) was so used to all the mothers he knew breastfeeding that he had never been in close contact with bottle feeding, which is in fact still by far the more usual method of feeding babies in Ireland. I think I'm entitled to be pleased that my children have had that privilege, that they won't feel the embarrassment that several posters here (and I don't even mean the seriously weird ones) have shown evidence of feeling. It's not a criticism of

I don't believe I called you stupid. In fairness, how am I supposed to know what you did or did not say to your sister if you tell me after the fact? I was responding to your post, and what was contained within. If you post something, you should expect to be challenged on it. "You're having a go at me" is a classic Boards response from someone who cannot accept that others might challenge what they say.

So, to reiterate. I agree with you that it's great your son thinks bottle feeding is unusual, and yes you are entitled to be pleased and yes women are entitled to breastfeed in public etc - we are all "entitled" to whatever we wish - but all I asked was to spare a thought for women who would maybe like to breastfeed and can't (because of flaws in our system for one thing - lack of support etc). I wasn't having a go at you, and hyper-sensitivity is not going to add to the discussion.

lazygal · 05-12-2014 11:14AM

cassid wrote: »

I remember my first time breastfeeding in public, I was a tad shy. My friend was with me, keeping an eye out for people looking at me !!!. When the wee man was almost finished, this eldery man walked over to us and said to me are you feeding your baby and I just looked at him with my eyes almost popping out of my head. He then said, its just wonderful to see young woman feeding their babies, and great to see little babies coming into the world. I thought he was coming over to say something unpleasant but he was so nice, I had to give me a little hug, he made my first public breastfeeding experience so positive, it will always stay with me.

I remember two old ladies looking at me when I was out for lunch for the first time with my youngest who was about two weeks old and I thought they would be giving out. Then they came over and said how great it was to see a young mum (yay for that first!!) feeding and that they both breastfed and they always encourage women they see feeding to keep it up. It was a lovely thing for them to say.

Breastfeeding in Public places

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