Breastfeeding in Public places

03-12-2014 02:42PM

kylith wrote: »

Again - babies who are breastfed will not drink from a bottle because of the difference in shape, smell, taste, and texture between a rubber teat and an actual nipple. It's either bring the baby with you or be housebound for up to 6 months.

And why should a woman have to hide away to feed her child like it's something shameful just because some people cannot separate a breast's actual function from its sexual use?

Because they're physically and mentally incapable of looking at something else, poor souls.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 03-12-2014 02:42PM

Mary63 wrote: »

No but then again I am not hanging off someones breast.
Surely you could organise a babysitter and leave your baby and some expressed milk at home.This modern thing of bringing brats everywhere is a pain.If someone is spending 75 sterling on lunch they intend to make it leisurely,when you have a baby you leave it at home for socialising like this or you dont go at all. The other patrons who have left their children at home dont want to see or hear your children breastfeeding or not.
If the babys immune system is that undeveloped they shouldnt be in a crowded restaurant anyway.

Listen here, I'd be the first to agree kids have no place running around and creating a scene when other people are trying to relax, but there's a difference between a naughty child and a child that is hungry.

As for expressing, I have no experience with it but I think babies that are used to being breastfed, find that feeding comforting. They may not know what a bottle is.

Jesus and I thought I was intolerant.

anonyanony · 03-12-2014 02:46PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Listen here, I'd be the first to agree kids have no place running around and creating a scene when other people are trying to relax, but there's a difference between a naughty child and a child that is hungry.

As for expressing, I have no experience with it but I think babies that are used to being breastfed, find that feeding comforting. They may not know what a bottle is.

Jesus and I thought I was intolerant.

Babies cry when hungry or for no reason at all which disrupt other patrons, it's bad form to bring a baby out to a place like that when you cannot control when a baby makes noise, wish some people thought of others and not of themselves.

kylith · 03-12-2014 02:47PM

Candie wrote: »

Because they're physically and mentally incapable of looking at something else, poor souls.

I think that scientists need to study breasts in more detail. The obviously possess some kind of magnetic or gravitational force which compels people to stare at them.

anonyanony · 03-12-2014 02:48PM

kylith wrote: »

I think that scientists need to study breasts in more detail. The obviously possess some kind of magnetic or gravitational force which compels people to stare at them.

It's already known why people want to look at breasts, if breasts are freely on show people will look it's natural.

kylith · 03-12-2014 02:51PM

anonyanony wrote: »

It's already known why people want to look at breasts, if breasts are freely on show people will look it's natural.

But apparently they don't want to look at them since they're saying that breastfeeding mothers should have to sit in the toilet so they're not forced to look.

anonyanony · 03-12-2014 02:53PM

kylith wrote: »

But apparently they don't want to look at them since they're saying that breastfeeding mothers should have to sit in the toilet so they're not forced to look.

I am not saying that, I am all for women taking their breasts out in public, I would prefer the noisy baby be not around in quite places like restaurants though

eviltwin · 03-12-2014 02:54PM

We have one of the worst breastfeeding rates in the world despite breastfeeding having huge benefits to both mother and baby. We should be doing everything to encourage women to breastfeed and not making them feel its something to be ashamed of. I doubt anyone who hasn't personal experience of it would even notice a woman doing it, its so discreet.

LeinsterDub · 03-12-2014 02:56PM

ash23 wrote: »

That's not strictly true. Depends entirely on how the woman feeds. You will rarely see nipple on tv before the watershed or on a woman in a low cut top. However, some women who breastfeed freely show their entire breast, including nipple and I think that is where people get a bit unsettled.

Dear god not a momentary glance of a nipple! Never go to a beach in Europe so. Nipples all over the place.

dark crystal · 03-12-2014 02:57PM

Mary63 wrote: »

No but then again I am not hanging off someones breast.
Surely you could organise a babysitter and leave your baby and some expressed milk at home.This modern thing of bringing brats everywhere is a pain.If someone is spending 75 sterling on lunch they intend to make it leisurely,when you have a baby you leave it at home for socialising like this or you dont go at all. The other patrons who have left their children at home dont want to see or hear your children breastfeeding or not.
If the babys immune system is that undeveloped they shouldnt be in a crowded restaurant anyway.

Or maybe you could ring ahead and ask is there somewhere private you can feed your baby,that is you are the type to make a show of yourself in public letting it all hang out to show how wonderful you are.

Babies have an excuse for wailing, bawling and spitting their dummy out. What's your excuse?

03-12-2014 02:58PM

Mod

Mary63 banned for trolling.

Chucken · 03-12-2014 03:00PM

Mary63 wrote: »

you are the type to make a show of yourself in public letting it all hang out to show how wonderful you are.

Ah, good old Irish guilt complex!

kylith · 03-12-2014 03:06PM

anonyanony wrote: »

I am not saying that, I am all for women taking their breasts out in public, I would prefer the noisy baby be not around in quite places like restaurants though

I understand that, and no-one likes a crying baby, but it can be the case that the mother then doesn't get to go out for 6 months until the baby is weaned. Do you think it would be fair to tell a woman that she can't, for example, go to her mother's birthday lunch because she's breastfeeding? We've gone past the stage where women were expected to be confined after giving birth.

Summer wind · 03-12-2014 03:07PM

This lady was already being very discreet so I don't think there was any need of issuing a huge napkin to her. It must have been awful to be made to feel ashamed for doing something completely normal.

ash23 · 03-12-2014 03:09PM

LeinsterDub wrote: »

Dear god not a momentary glance of a nipple! Never go to a beach in Europe so. Nipples all over the place.

On a beach. Do they put clothes back on when going into a restaurant? Or walking into a supermarket?

There are countries where women never cover their breasts. Ireland isn't one of them though. In most western countries, it's expected that men and women cover their bodies to some extent.

You might not have a problem with a womans nipple and for the most part I don't either. I've two of my own that I'm quite fond of.

But do you think that there should be some attempt at discretion when breastfeeding or is it completely ok that no matter where a woman is, if she is feeding, she should be able to do whatever she wants to enable her to feed? Whether for her that is a discreet slip up of the jumper or taking everything off from the waist up?

I mean surely everyone thinks some level of modesty is necessary?

anonyanony · 03-12-2014 03:15PM

kylith wrote: »

I understand that, and no-one likes a crying baby, but it can be the case that the mother then doesn't get to go out for 6 months until the baby is weaned. Do you think it would be fair to tell a woman that she can't, for example, go to her mother's birthday lunch because she's breastfeeding? We've gone past the stage where women were expected to be confined after giving birth.

Actually I would expect to have the lunch altogether at their or their moms home, get a a nice takeout and setup a nice spread in someones home, you have a child you need to compromise and taking a noisy baby to some nice restaurant to annoy the other patrons is not a good option.

eviltwin · 03-12-2014 03:18PM

ash23 wrote: »

On a beach. Do they put clothes back on when going into a restaurant? Or walking into a supermarket?

There are countries where women never cover their breasts. Ireland isn't one of them though. In most western countries, it's expected that men and women cover their bodies to some extent.

You might not have a problem with a womans nipple and for the most part I don't either. I've two of my own that I'm quite fond of.

But do you think that there should be some attempt at discretion when breastfeeding or is it completely ok that no matter where a woman is, if she is feeding, she should be able to do whatever she wants to enable her to feed? Whether for her that is a discreet slip up of the jumper or taking everything off from the waist up?

I mean surely everyone thinks some level of modesty is necessary?

Most women are discreet. I'm not sure what people think breastfeeding involves, you don't strip off and bare your breast to the world. Most women will wear loose clothing and hold the baby up to them. It looks just like a woman holding her child. Its rare you see any skin and if you do its usually just a bit of side boob because the woman hasn't mastered the skill of doing it. Most new mums don't want to draw attention to themselves, they will be very modest. And even if in the worst case you do see a bf malfunction then so what, its just a breast, are we that prudish that a quick glimpe of breast or nipple in public upsets us that much? Besides do you spend your timing staring at other people? When I am out I focus my attention on the people I am with, I don't notice what others are up to.

seventeen sheep · 03-12-2014 03:18PM

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

If you know you're going to a restaurant why not just express some milk into a bottle and bring it with you?

I'm guessing you've never done this yourself or you'd see how senseless it would be.

It is advised not to express milk for the first few weeks/months until the supply is well-established and until the baby is latching on well, putting on weight, and breastfeeding is well established.

Some mothers choose not to introduce bottles at all, for various valid reasons (e.g. it's much less effort for a baby to bottle feed, so they may start refusing the breast and only feeding from bottles.)

Even when the choice is made to introduce bottles (for expressed milk), it can be extremely difficult to get babies to drink from them. Especially if the mother is there at the same time.

Expressing milk is an absolute pain. You've only just fed your baby, and you need to let your milk build up again to express the next feed - which takes ages, and you just have to hope your baby doesn't need a nappy or attention while you're doing so. The benefit of it is that you can allow your partner or someone else to feed the baby for a change - I cannot understand the logic in expressing milk to feed your baby from a bottle, when your boobs are right there (and probably leaking milk everywhere because your baby is hungry.)

It makes no sense!

eviltwin · 03-12-2014 03:20PM

anonyanony wrote: »

Actually I would expect to have the lunch altogether at their or their moms home, get a a nice takeout and setup a nice spread in someones home, you have a child you need to compromise and taking a noisy baby to some nice restaurant to annoy the other patrons is not a good option.

And if you are climbing the walls and need a change of scenery then what? There are plenty of family friendly cafes out there and mums shouldn't be put off using them. Its not good for their mental health to stay indoors all the time.

anonyanony · 03-12-2014 03:21PM

seventeen sheep wrote: »

I'm guessing you've never done this yourself or you'd see how senseless it would be.

It is advised not to express milk for the first few weeks/months until the supply is well-established and until the baby is latching on well, putting on weight, and breastfeeding is well established.

Some mothers choose not to introduce bottles at all, for various valid reasons (e.g. it's much less effort for a baby to bottle feed, so they may start refusing the breast and only feeding from bottles.)

Even when the choice is made to introduce bottles (for expressed milk), it can be extremely difficult to get babies to drink from them. Especially if the mother is there at the same time.

Expressing milk is an absolute pain. You've only just fed your baby, and you need to let your milk build up again to express the next feed - which takes ages, and you just have to hope your baby doesn't need a nappy or attention while you're doing so. The benefit of it is that you can allow your partner or someone else to feed the baby for a change - I cannot understand the logic in expressing milk to feed your baby from a bottle, when your boobs are right there (and probably leaking milk everywhere because your baby is hungry.) It makes no sense!

Do you no express milk so the father can bottle feed the baby sometimes and bond with the child? Expressing milk so dad can feed the baby is a great way for them to bond.

kylith · 03-12-2014 03:22PM

anonyanony wrote: »

Actually I would expect to have the lunch altogether at their or their moms home, get a a nice takeout and setup a nice spread in someones home, you have a child you need to compromise and taking a noisy baby to some nice restaurant to annoy the other patrons is not a good option.

So, you're in favour of women not being able to go out for more than a couple of hours when they're breastfeeding? After all, they'd have to get home in time to feed so that no-one is annoyed by a baby crying for its dinner, and so that no-one is offended by her quieting the child by feeding in public?

I don't know which I'm more surprised by; you saying that breastfeeding mothers shouldn't be able to go to a nice restaurant, or me for thinking that you couldn't possibly mean that.

ash23 · 03-12-2014 03:24PM

eviltwin wrote: »

Most women are discreet. I'm not sure what people think breastfeeding involves, you don't strip off and bare your breast to the world. Most women will wear loose clothing and hold the baby up to them. It looks just like a woman holding her child. Its rare you see any skin and if you do its usually just a bit of side boob because the woman hasn't mastered the skill of doing it. Most new mums don't want to draw attention to themselves, they will be very modest. And even if in the worst case you do see a bf malfunction then so what, its just a breast, are we that prudish that a quick glimpe of breast or nipple in public upsets us that much? Besides do you spend your timing staring at other people? When I am out I focus my attention on the people I am with, I don't notice what others are up to.

I agree that most are. Some aren't though.
And that's why I don't agree with saying that it should NEVER be said that a breastfeeding woman should be discreet or cover up a bit. Obviously it's subjective but I don't believe that breastfeeding should give a woman free reign to be indiscreet about her breasts.

I've seen pictures doing the rounds on facebook where the woman is being anything but discreet but we're all meant to lord it as being "beautiful" and "natural" and god forbid anyone would say "eh no thanks, I don't want to see that please".

eviltwin · 03-12-2014 03:25PM

anonyanony wrote: »

Do you no express milk so the father can bottle feed the baby sometimes and bond with the child? Expressing milk so dad can feed the baby is a great way for them to bond.

You can if you get to a point where you don't have a problem with it. But its really hard work. I used to spend over and hour pumping to get one bottle, its not practical long term and there are plenty of other things dads can do to bond.

anonyanony · 03-12-2014 03:25PM

eviltwin wrote: »

And if you are climbing the walls and need a change of scenery then what? There are plenty of family friendly cafes out there and mums shouldn't be put off using them. Its not good for their mental health to stay indoors all the time.

Go to the moms and make a day of it put on a spread, you said it was for 6 months, can you not be considerate to other people for six months till you are happy getting a sitter to go to nice quite places? It was your choice to have a kid six months of having a small inconvenience of not being able to go to nice restaurant is not much of an ask.

eviltwin · 03-12-2014 03:26PM

ash23 wrote: »

I agree that most are. Some aren't though.
And that's why I don't agree with saying that it should NEVER be said that a breastfeeding woman should be discreet or cover up a bit. Obviously it's subjective but I don't believe that breastfeeding should give a woman free reign to be indiscreet about her breasts.

I've seen pictures doing the rounds on facebook where the woman is being anything but discreet but we're all meant to lord it as being "beautiful" and "natural" and god forbid anyone would say "eh no thanks, I don't want to see that please".

I've never seen any indiscreet breastfeeders and I've been around a lot of them. Maybe you have just been unlucky. Those pictures, I know the ones you mean, they aren't in public, most are taken at home when you can be a bit more laid back. Unless you have a friend who posts them you wouldn't just happen across them either. Do you go out of your way to find things to be offended by?

How Strange · 03-12-2014 03:26PM

Any sentence that starts with 'I'm pro breastfeeding but' is up there with 'I'm not racist but'

For gods sake will women stop this new fangled idea of breastfeeding their babies and please use the rubber tit, plastic bottle and cows milk as nature intended.

Then perhaps the poor fragile, easily offended public can rest easy that they won't have their eyes poked out with nipples or worse be blinded by spurts of breastmilk in the middle of their restaurant meal.

?Cee?view · 03-12-2014 03:26PM

WellThen? wrote: »

God im sick of hearing "it's a natural thing". So is taking a ****. Just go somewhere else and do it whats the big deal. Why should i have to look at that while im eating my dinner.

The child is eating its dinner, not taking a ****

ToTriOrNot · 03-12-2014 03:27PM

anonyanony wrote: »

Do you no express milk so the father can bottle feed the baby sometimes and bond with the child? Expressing milk so dad can feed the baby is a great way for them to bond.

Fathers don't need to feed babies to bond, they can do other things. I find this whole threat quite disturbing. Baby was hungry, baby was fed. end of the story. If anyone took annoyance to it, move away. you couldn't see a bloody thing. She was being discreet!! And breastfeed babies/ breastfeeding mothers are not keen on bottles..why should they, they have the milk on tap, no need to be messing around, it works for everyone!!!

eviltwin · 03-12-2014 03:29PM

anonyanony wrote: »

Go to the moms and make a day of it put on a spread, you said it was for 6 months, can you not be considerate to other people for six months till you are happy getting a sitter to go to nice quite places? It was your choice to have a kid six months of having a small inconvenience of not being able to go to nice restaurant is not much of an ask.

And what if you need to go somewhere or don't have a network of other mothers who have a house you can visit? You're view is not just close minded its quite dangerous, mothers with young babies are encouraged to go out and do normal things, its good for them, its one of the things that can help prevent post natal depression. Staying indoors for six months is not good for your mental state. Just turn away if you find it so offensive.

anonyanony · 03-12-2014 03:29PM

kylith wrote: »

So, you're in favour of women not being able to go out for more than a couple of hours when they're breastfeeding? After all, they'd have to get home in time to feed so that no-one is annoyed by a baby crying for its dinner, and so that no-one is offended by her quieting the child by feeding in public?

I don't know which I'm more surprised by; you saying that breastfeeding mothers shouldn't be able to go to a nice restaurant, or me for thinking that you couldn't possibly mean that.

eviltwin wrote: »

And what if you need to go somewhere or don't have a network of other mothers who have a house you can visit? You're view is not just close minded its quite dangerous, mothers with young babies are encouraged to go out and do normal things, its good for them, its one of the things that can help prevent post natal depression. Staying indoors for six months is not good for your mental state. Just turn away if you find it so offensive.

They can go out, breastfeed where ever they want ie public bench but don't bring the noisy baby to quite places like restaurants or cinemas or the likes, they could eat their food topless in the restaurant for all I care if the noisy baby was not there. They are not stuck in their house just have respect for others.

Breastfeeding in Public places

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