Advice on how to disappear, what is the best way to go about disappearing ?

Why so you feel the need to disappear? I'm intrigued.

Well you need money for starters so I would clear your bank accounts. Second if you dont want to be found then don't book a flight because your passport can be traced. I would get the ferry. I don't see how living on the streets would help esp if you don't want to be found, ireland is smaller then you think and someone you know may see you. Ferry to uk then maybe France or wherever after that would be what I would do anyway. I hope your ok, I wouldn't recommend running though no matter what the problem is there is always a way out. Also think how your family will feel, how would you feel if your mum or dad done the same? Think carefully before doing this

OP, have you thought this through carefully? It sounds like you are in a panic for whatever reason. You say you will miss your family dearly - if you disappear so suddenly you will leave them frantic with worry. Are you sure that is the best course of action? There is always another way.

If you have your mind made up, the very minimum you owe to your family and friends is that you leave a letter explaining what you're doing and why.


If you feel the need to leave, don't leave causing unnecessary suffering and anguish behind you

mike_ie wrote: »

Have you thought about what just disappearing without notice will do to your family? They would quite literally not know if you are dead or alive, and would have to live with that not knowing for the rest of their lives, if you were to follow through with this. I can't think of anything more torturous.

Nobody here is suggesting you shouldn't get a fresh start if that's what you feel you need, however please inform your family of your plans first.

+ 1 You can move away to start fresh but tell your family your going, you don't need to give them all the details of where or how but you should make them aware your going away of your own free choice. If you just up and disappear then they will look for you as they may fear you've been taken or are injured somewhere. If they get the authorities involved it will be easier for them to track you as in order to work anywhere in the UK you will need to prove your nationality and outside of the EU you would need your passport to enter and for most a visa to work - all of these can be tracked.

I know several people who've wanted clean brakes and moved to other countries. An uncle moved to Asia and in 20 years the family has heard maybe a handful of times from him but he made it clear he was leaving and family could reach him via email or his work phone in an emergency but it would be an emergency for anyone here to get in touch with him as everyone understood his reasons. He also planned to leave for a while and had saved enough to get by for a while until he decided where he was going. I've friends who left for Australia and Canada and decided to make it a clean brake and told people they wouldn't be in touch once they left - their choice and most respected that. All these people left family and friends behind but didn't leave problems or major responsibilities behind them, they just weren't happy were they were and needed to leave.

If your running from something or someone it's different. If someone is being violent towards there are groups that help people get away from violent partners/family but it's different to just being feed up and wanting to get away. If your running because you think you will leave responsibilities either financial or family related behind you'll find it's not that easy. You don't get to just walk away.

You can get a fresh start by simply moving.

You don't have to live on the streets, just plan ahead a little bit. Save some money.

Think about if you disappear how much time people will waste looking for you. They would be better off doing other things. Or is this your aim by 'disappearing', having people make a fuss over you?

Can you not just have a fresh start by moving somewhere else and telling your family first? People do it all the time.

Or by family do you mean wife and kids and you want to absolve yourself of any responsibility. Either way it's a horrible thing to do to people you love, but more so if there are children involved.

You should either deal with whatever it is you want to disappear from or go about it legitimately.

You must be in a desperate frame of mind to consider such a drastic move. Please think about talking it out before doing anything rash.

If you decide to go ahead then please tell the family or at the very least leave a letter. And follow it up with regular letters telling them you are ok, a letter might narrow down an area its posted from but thats all.

Yes if you turn up at ferry port you can buy a ticket cash and go as a walk on passenger.
You will need to use your passport but its unlikely to be flagged unless you are running from some serious law issues and they expect you to flee, in which case you would likely be in custody. Again they'd be able to tell area but that's all.

My advice would be stay and face whatever the problem is, remember you running only creates problems and concern for those left behind.

If you need to get away why not move to Asia as an English teacher? You need only have minimal contact with your family and it will give you the chance to get away and clear your head that you obviously need.

Please don't just vanish. They will spend the rest of their lives worried sick. Every time a body is found up the mountains or pulled out of a river they'll wonder if it's you. They will never know if you're alive or if you're chained in someone's cellar or if you died in fear and agony at the hands of some nutter, and I'm sure you don't want to do that to them. If you have to go, at least tell them that you are going, and arrange some way of letting them know that you're alive and safe.

As a minimum, leave a note behind you.