7 and a half years widowed and facing the future..

So here I am 7 and a half years down the road from the death of my wife.
Happiness is creeping in and it scares me.
Don't get me wrong, the pain hasn't diminished and there is not a day passes where she is not missed or spoken of.
But I compare my grief to a wound, earlier on.
It was raw, open, sensitive and painful dwelling on the loss of our future and cursing the world that our dreams were dust!
Now...
Its as if the wound has scarred, I can cope, I carry it better yes it still hurts but now when the grief hits I focus on the good times we shared rather than the future together we lost.

As I've posted before, life is good and getting better.
Our son is healthy, happy and well adjusted
I am in a relationship with a fantastic lady who has taken what was left of
me, shattered and broken.
And has shown me that I can love again
I call her my Velcro, because she not only helped put me back together!
She holds me that way too!

I had resigned myself to never having a ''significant'' relationship again.
Partly because I never believed I would be able to love again.
Partly because I honestly believed that it would be nigh on impossible for
another woman to put up with me
Partly because, ''moving on'' stoked(and still does occasionaly) incredible feelings of guilt on my part, I felt as if having a relationship would be a betrayal.
Betraying not only my wife, but any potential partner as how could I
give myself over to relationship fully whilst still carrying so much of my wife with me?

Now, I know that moving on doesn't mean leaving her behind.
It means that I carry her with me, that every moment and memory shared is still there.
And more importantly that I've found someone who not only understands that.
But helps me to understand that too!

So now, I'm lucky in love for a second time
I'm at a stage where everytime we are at a hotel my son checks out the reception room!
he has me scourged to buy a ring too
He has asked when/if my new GF and I will ever get married...
He and I have had long talks about this, because if/when my GF and I do take this step, there really is only one other person that matters.
And that's him, luckily he and my GF get on fantastically(often to my detriment when they gang up on me! haha)
There is a genuine friendship and affection between them that makes me see
that yes...!
This will all be ok!

The flipside is the enmity that this ''moving on'' is bringing from my in-laws(Apart from my F.I.L)
From the snide remarks about the ''replacement'' to numerous little digs at myself and my son playing "happy family"
Its gotten to the stage where I am wondering if the toxicity is worth the relationship with them?
But then I realise if I decide to take a stand on the issue now...
It will in their mind be because of my GF and us cutting them out to play even more "happy family", rather than because I'm sick of being sniped at and because I don't want my son thinking the level of passive/aggressive backbiting is acceptable or healthy behaviour.

I am planning on letting them know that I am going to propose soon.
As I don't want them to hear it 2nd hand, because they mean more to me than that and whilst I don't want to "hurt" them...
I'm not going to leave our lives on pause until they are accepting of my new circumstances.
My life has reached a point where my son and I have found someone who makes us happy and I don't want to lose that!

I want to give my GF all of me thats left to give, I'm hoping my inlaws can appreciate that and can accept that.
I hope that my choices won't impact on their relationship with my son, but I've come to realise that if it does change their interaction/relationship that will be their choice as we will still be the same people.

Don't know what I wrote this for really other than to lay my thoughts out in text and to hopefully show anyone else who has been left in a similar circumstance, bereaved, lost, parenting alone, wondering what the future will hold after losing their moon....
Well I just want anyone in this situation or similar to know that it can and will get better!
Live your life, do whats best for you and your child/ren and worry less about those who offer their opinions on your relationships than you do about those whose relationships you value.