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Farm going downhill and i dont know what to do to save it

  • 17-10-2014 6:59pm
    #1
    eric prydz
    Registered Users Posts: 157 ✭✭ eric prydz


    My farm has slowly but surely been going downhill these past few years ever since the bad summer of 2012 and on top of that im making a big loss on all the beef produced on the farm here due to the crap factory price and the constant battle even to get them sold.
    Ive been suffering on and off with depression these past five years or more but over the past 6 months or so ive been having suicidal thoughts and the doctor has prescribed me stronger antidepressants.
    Ive fallen out with all of my family so I don't really have anyone to talk to.


Comments

  • #2
    blindside88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,968 ✭✭✭ blindside88


    im very sorry to hear that. Do your family know about any of this? I know you said you had fallen out but knowing the facts might be easier for them to build bridges. I had a brother go through depression and eventually tried to kill himself and I know I'd he had told me before hand any past quarils would have been forgotten. Have you called samaratins?


  • #3
    runawaybishop
    Registered Users Posts: 9,491 ✭✭✭ runawaybishop


    Have a look at this

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056481009


  • #4
    eric prydz
    Registered Users Posts: 157 ✭✭ eric prydz


    blindside88 wrote: »
    im very sorry to hear that. Do your family know about any of this? I know you said you had fallen out but knowing the facts might be easier for them to build bridges. I had a brother go through depression and eventually tried to kill himself and I know I'd he had told me before hand any past quarils would have been forgotten. Have you called samaratins?

    Yes they do know and their fully aware that im going broke but their main concern is that it doesn't become common knowledge locally that im depressed, ive tried making amends in the past but it just didn't work.


  • #5
    blindside88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,968 ✭✭✭ blindside88


    eric prydz wrote: »
    Yes they do know and their fully aware that im going broke but their main concern is that it doesn't become common knowledge locally that im depressed, ive tried making amends in the past but it just didn't work.

    Unfortunately that's very common in rural Ireland. In reality we'd all be much better off if everyone could talk openly about their problems. Have you talked to anyone professionally about the depression. Their are some very good free services available. You've made the biggest step in verbalising your problem. Sometimes talking about them out loud can lift a weight


  • #6
    runawaybishop
    Registered Users Posts: 9,491 ✭✭✭ runawaybishop


    eric prydz wrote: »
    Yes they do know and their fully aware that im going broke but their main concern is that it doesn't become common knowledge locally that im depressed, ive tried making amends in the past but it just didn't work.

    Nothing wrong with being depressed, there's not a single family in the country that isn't touched by it. Reach out to some of eh support links in the thread i linked.

    Well done on taking the first step by the way.


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  • #7
    eric prydz
    Registered Users Posts: 157 ✭✭ eric prydz


    blindside88 wrote: »
    Unfortunately that's very common in rural Ireland. In reality we'd all be much better off if everyone could talk openly about their problems. Have you talked to anyone professionally about the depression. Their are some very good free services available. You've made the biggest step in verbalising your problem. Sometimes talking about them out loud can lift a weight

    Ive only talked to my doctor and Im getting pissed off going in because its costing me money that I don't really have and im not sure that he fully understands the problems that im going through.


  • #8
    blindside88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,968 ✭✭✭ blindside88


    eric prydz wrote: »
    Ive only talked to my doctor and Im getting pissed off going in because its costing me money that I don't really have and im not sure that he fully understands the problems that im going through.

    Call Samaritans anytime day or night they can be good to talk to and have a lot of experience. There are also some very good contacts in the thread attached. As regards the financial side I'm not sure if MABS are any good to you but they could definitely point you in the right direction for some help


  • #9
    degetme
    Registered Users Posts: 750 ✭✭✭ degetme


    Sorry to hear this eric, farming isnt easy nowadays with the pressures that go with it meantily and fianacaly wise. There are many people around the country in the same boat. Talking and discusing about these things can help. Im sure there are other posters on here with better advice than i can give.

    Best of luck & i hope things work out for you


  • #10
    Tokyo
    Politics Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Tokyo


    Hi eric,

    sorry to hear of your troubles at present - not making a loss seems to be an ongoing battle for farmers all over at the moment. I'm glad to hear that you've taken it upon yourself to seek out help with this through your doctor. Counselling may also be an option worth considering if you are feeling depressed.

    Considering how you are feeling at the moment, I have taken the liberty of passing along a link to this thread to turn2me - a support organisation that works closely with the moderators here to offer to help to those in situations such as yours. They have an account here, and will hopefully drop you a line soon and may be able to provide you with more information as to what services are available. They also provide counselling sessions free of charge to those based in Ireland if you wish to avail of them - visit www.turn2me.org for more information.

    You also mention that you feel that you have nobody to talk to. As other posters above me have rightly pointed out, there are organisations out there who are happy to listen and offer advice. This thread contains information about turn2me.org mentioned above, and also contains links to the appropriate support organisations - someone to talk to about all of this is at the end of a telephone line, should you take the step to reach out to them.

    regards,
    Mike


  • #11
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭ Taltos


    As well as the support groups linked by mike and turn2me.org you might also consider changing your doctor.
    Some doctors just aren't able or aren't suitable to listen or advise people with depression. Their answer to everything is a combination of "here read this leaflet" or "let's up that dose" - not saying either are wrong but if you think about it (or if they thought about it) sometimes just listening and hearing what your patient is telling you is a hell of a lot more important that "solving" the issue and getting the next paying customer through the door.

    Many doctors are marvellous though, you might just have to do a bit of digging to find them... Keep following the advice of your doctor but while it is extra cost maybe consider going to talk to another doctor.

    In terms of your family not listening, hopefully they will come around, but as pointed out above some of the old Ireland thinking is evident in their "don't let the neighbours know" - foolish really as chances are many of your neighbours might be in a similar position. In the meantime is there anything you can do the odd evening to get away from the farm and your family just to get your mind off things? A local men's shed or similar - just to get out, distract yourself for a bit and hopefully just for 30 minutes or an hour have a bit of a laugh doing something silly - even if it's helping with tidy towns or similar.


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  • #12
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭ tomwaterford


    eric prydz wrote: »
    Ive only talked to my doctor and Im getting pissed off going in because its costing me money that I don't really have and im not sure that he fully understands the problems that im going through.

    could I suggest getting an off-farm job...even for a day or two to get away from the place/meet new people

    being there 24/7 everything will eventully just build up and up and overwhelm you


  • #13
    greysides
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 8,791 Mod ✭✭✭✭ greysides


    In sport one of the things that can go wrong is to identify your own self-worth with your performance. Somebody can literally live their lives through the ups and downs of their performance. It leads to trouble. The point here is that your self-worth and the business are separate.


    Here's a quote from a film that resonated with me:

    To serve people takes dignity and intelligence. But remember, they are only people with money. And although we serve them, we are not their servants.
    What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
    ...................Lionel/Bob Hoskins (Maid in Manhattan)

    You may wish to think about the bit in bold type.

    Well done for talking about this. As well as helping yourself you are an example for others in similar circumstances.

    The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress. Joseph Joubert

    The ultimate purpose of debate is not to produce consensus. It's to promote critical thinking.

    Adam Grant



  • #14
    Feckthis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭ Feckthis


    Hi Eric,

    What exactly has you down? Is it the farm finances or falling out your family? Maybe abit of both I'd say.. I know with myself that some bridges can't be rebuilt.. No matter how hard you try..For me it was about trying to Accept it and move forward. Time waits for no one! Stick your head up and chest out and handle it! Don't let anybody bring you down... The power of positivity is amazing.. Have a look at a few clips on you tube about this..

    Have you any help on the farm?
    By the sounds of it you are a beef finisher? Have you thought about changing system. I wish you the best of luck.


  • #15
    TUBBY
    Registered Users Posts: 828 ✭✭✭ TUBBY


    First things first Eric.

    if the farm is getting you down but is in your blood also, i would do a profit monitor and talk to a good teagasc advisor.
    there might be something obvious you can change that will help.

    i did this in 2010 when the farm had a woeful year and it improved my cost control and helped bottom line hhugely. Also q good accountant might be of use.
    that will hopefully help farm.

    most importantly though, talk to someone you trust about your depression. You shouldn't have to shoulder it alone. Are you in any activities that are group ones away from the farm. Might be worth trying.
    a thing a friend of mine told me once about work related depression.
    make a list every week of acheivable things to do. Then tick off things as they are done. At least then you can see what you are achieving and you will likely find the farm isn't going downhill at all. Just needs some tweaks.

    best of luck.


  • #16
    whelan2
    Registered Users Posts: 27,642 ✭✭✭✭ whelan2


    TUBBY wrote: »
    First things first Eric.

    if the farm is getting you down but is in your blood also, i would do a profit monitor and talk to a good teagasc advisor.
    there might be something obvious you can change that will help.

    i did this in 2010 when the farm had a woeful year and it improved my cost control and helped bottom line hhugely. Also q good accountant might be of use.
    that will hopefully help farm.

    most importantly though, talk to someone you trust about your depression. You shouldn't have to shoulder it alone. Are you in any activities that are group ones away from the farm. Might be worth trying.
    a thing a friend of mine told me once about work related depression.
    make a list every week of acheivable things to do. Then tick off things as they are done. At least then you can see what you are achieving and you will likely find the farm isn't going downhill at all. Just needs some tweaks.

    best of luck.
    very good post, also book a holiday , something to look forward to. We are looking at holidays for next year already, great to get a break away to recharge the batteries and puts a different light on other situations.


  • #17
    eric prydz
    Registered Users Posts: 157 ✭✭ eric prydz


    Feckthis wrote: »
    Hi Eric,

    What exactly has you down? Is it the farm finances or falling out your family? Maybe abit of both I'd say.. I know with myself that some bridges can't be rebuilt.. No matter how hard you try..For me it was about trying to Accept it and move forward. Time waits for no one! Stick your head up and chest out and handle it! Don't let anybody bring you down... The power of positivity is amazing.. Have a look at a few clips on you tube about this..

    Have you any help on the farm?
    By the sounds of it you are a beef finisher? Have you thought about changing system. I wish you the best of luck.

    Well family problems have really got me down and like you say some bridges just cant be rebuilt basically all they were interested in was all that they could get off me so I decided to sever all ties with them and never deal with them again,on top of that they percisted in passing untrue personal remarks to me.

    the farm also has got me down in the dumps aswell basically I bit off more than I could chew regarding borrowing money from the bank to buy land and the price of beef has really got my back to the wall at this stage.
    Yes im mainly a beef finisher but I also keep suckler cows aswell and a small bit of tillage aswell .
    I work mainly on my own but I employ a few lads in to give me a hand at machinery work at busy times of the year.



    TUBBY wrote: »
    First things first Eric.

    if the farm is getting you down but is in your blood also, i would do a profit monitor and talk to a good teagasc advisor.
    there might be something obvious you can change that will help.

    i did this in 2010 when the farm had a woeful year and it improved my cost control and helped bottom line hhugely. Also q good accountant might be of use.
    that will hopefully help farm.

    most importantly though, talk to someone you trust about your depression. You shouldn't have to shoulder it alone. Are you in any activities that are group ones away from the farm. Might be worth trying.
    a thing a friend of mine told me once about work related depression.
    make a list every week of acheivable things to do. Then tick off things as they are done. At least then you can see what you are achieving and you will likely find the farm isn't going downhill at all. Just needs some tweaks.

    best of luck.

    Well tubby ive already just started doing teagasc profit monitor but the price of beef is really hammering my bottom line,all my finished animals are selling for 350 to 400 less than this time last year in the factory and my costs are still the same.
    I don't really have anybody that I can trust,the neighbours seem obsessed in talking about my business and do be speculateing about where I get my money from at times so I don't really bother about them.
    Ive no outside interests or skills and I cant remember the last day that I didn't do something that wasn't farming related.I was never any good in school or relateting to people or at doing anything successfully.


  • #18
    Genghis Cant
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,980 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Genghis Cant


    Howdy Eric,
    Other than to echo some of the excellent advice already posted here, I'm afraid I've no magic potion for ya. But no matter what- You can come on here and chew the fat. Always someone here in F&F able to identify with what you're going through. These are very challenging time in farming for many farmers, hang in there and the tide will turn.
    Best of luck.


  • #19
    Willfarman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,239 ✭✭✭ Willfarman


    Hi Eric. I can tell you that you are not unique in the problems you have but you are doing the right things. I wish you well.


  • #20
    Markcheese
    Registered Users Posts: 8,004 ✭✭✭ Markcheese


    This maybe a bit of an unpopular view , but if you've more happening than you can handle at the moment would it make sense to rent/lease out some of your ground for a few years.. Won't matter what the beef price does,a steady income stream, and a bit of breathing space, financially and mentally..
    If you can manage a break or holiday all the better... Before you go make out a list of simple and attainable goals,on farm and in life..try to get out and be more social, wether it's a farm discussion group, or adult education courses, or a local match... Keep it simple though..

    Slava ukraini 🇺🇦



  • #21
    _Brian
    Registered Users Posts: 18,160 ✭✭✭✭ _Brian


    eric prydz wrote: »
    Ive only talked to my doctor and Im getting pissed off going in because its costing me money that I don't really have and im not sure that he fully understands the problems that im going through.

    Good man for coming on and having a chat with us about your problems..

    There are groups out there where you can get some help and it won't cost you.. I deal with SOSAD regularly and they provide free trained counselling, very discrete and I'd highly recommend it.


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  • #22
    eric prydz
    Registered Users Posts: 157 ✭✭ eric prydz


    Genghis Cant wrote: »
    Howdy Eric,
    Other than to echo some of the excellent advice already posted here, I'm afraid I've no magic potion for ya. But no matter what- You can come on here and chew the fat. Always someone here in F&F able to identify with what you're going through. These are very challenging time in farming for many farmers, hang in there and the tide will turn.
    Best of luck.

    Thanks,yer a great bunch of lads and ladies :) I suppose that if you were able to tell me for definite that cattle prices will go through the roof would be a good enough potion for me and others.


    Markcheese wrote: »
    This maybe a bit of an unpopular view , but if you've more happening than you can handle at the moment would it make sense to rent/lease out some of your ground for a few years.. Won't matter what the beef price does,a steady income stream, and a bit of breathing space, financially and mentally..
    If you can manage a break or holiday all the better... Before you go make out a list of simple and attainable goals,on farm and in life..try to get out and be more social, wether it's a farm discussion group, or adult education courses, or a local match... Keep it simple though..

    You could be right,
    _Brian wrote: »
    Good man for coming on and having a chat with us about your problems..

    There are groups out there where you can get some help and it won't cost you.. I deal with SOSAD regularly and they provide free trained counselling, very discrete and I'd highly recommend it.

    Its good to talk and its a great way of passing a long winters evening.


  • #23
    ravima
    Registered Users Posts: 848 ✭✭✭ ravima


    Hi Eric.

    Your health is first priority. As other poster has suggested, try changing GP. Perhaps a chat with a different GP might help the health.

    You have a financial problem, like thousands of others in Ireland. You also have an asset. Did you always want to be a farmer, or was it forced on you? Maybe if you spoke to an advisor, he/she could spell out your options. Maybe, you could sell some land to clear the debt, then no matter what happens, you won't have to pay interest.

    If you are a forced farmer, and there are many - lads who inherited the place and who know nothing but farming - perhaps you could consider a total change of lifestyle, either let or sell the entire place and start a new life somewhere else.

    Tis only my tuppence worth.

    Stay safe!


  • #24
    djmc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,611 ✭✭✭ djmc


    Maybe look at farm assist or If you were really struggling financially would selling the stock and contract rearing or letting land help
    Fxck what anyone else thinks its your life and your business
    The lads next door probably have there own problems.
    You can always buy stock and build up slowly again when things pick up
    Look after yourself firstly and fair play for talking about your problems and fealings


  • #25
    mike hilux
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭ mike hilux


    Hello Eric

    I was on this a while back and you posted advice and good wishes to me. Iv been off trying to sort out things the last few weeks and it's starting to come back together for me slowly.

    Here is what I did. I have made a plan for the next few years so I have something to aim for. I realised I needed room to breath so I got rid of everything that im not breeding off except this year's crop of calves. So now all I have are the cows and replacements and weanlings. Im no longer worried about silage as I know I'll have enough. The forward store market in the south east is fairly good im told at themoment so that's something.

    The single farm payment came in so that helps me now a good bit and when it comes to your loan. Approach the bank and see about restructuring the payments. They want their money paid with the least amount of hassle so might be very open to it. But keep communication open.

    Go to bed and sleep. You need it so much and get up early. Have a brew and take a walk around the yard in the cool morning air and breath it in then go have breakfast and think about the first job you need to do. Then rip into it and get it done. And you have a positive start to the day.

    Your mind needs space so simplify things. Sell stock that you don't really need and cut back on buying in more. I have a cattle dealer that takes culls and bad stock off me so I don't have to worry about what the locals say when there in the ring. An old boss said to me once. The man who makes a tenner on his one cow is better off than the one who looses €1 each across all of his hundred cows.

    Find something to do that you might enjoy. I took up beginner horse riding for adults and love it. Although im crap at it. To not think about my troubles for a couple of hours is great.

    Also make yourself happy. A lad said to me recently that all of this world will still be here when we're long gone so enjoy all you can of it.

    Sincerely. Mike.


  • #26
    have2flushtwice
    Registered Users Posts: 1,361 ✭✭✭ have2flushtwice


    a relation of mine is in hospital, seriously ill. now that a reality has forced itself upon him, he is reflecting and kicking himself for putting so much time and energy into the farm. "why didn't I do this that and the other, even a bus tour around the country for 3 or 4 days".
    he lives alone, and the neighbors have been great offering help with fodder and foddering, and anything else that has to be done.

    he put 100% of every ouce of energy into the farm and its no good to him now. don't forget about having a life of your own, outside the gate. go to town and get a cone, socialize in the mart, local ploughing match, etc. Mens shed is another. none of these cost much to go to, and you will feel a lot better when you are out there amongst people with similar interests.

    Another guy said to me last year, before sitting down to watch an all ireland game"If I made a list of everything I have to do, I'd never sit down to watch this, so I do what has to be done NOW, the rest can wait till I'm ready"

    Keep the chin up and the head down, don't forget to put yourself on that list too!


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