How to wind up Indian Windows scammers

Lenn Brennan · 13-10-2014 5:36pm #1

Hi All,

I've been getting a fair few of those calls lately. I was wondering if anyone has any good ways to string them along and annoy them??

Just for the craic.

Cheers

Lenn

Chancer3001 · 13-10-2014 5:40pm

Don't call me Len ya little prick.

Lenn Brennan · 13-10-2014 5:42pm

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Don't call me Len ya little prick.

He did kick me up the ar*e!!

Stinicker · 13-10-2014 5:44pm

I just tell them I have an Apple Mac, usually gets rid of them. Alternatively I act really stupid and force them to hang up after frustrating them so much with it.

Digital Solitude · 13-10-2014 5:44pm

Blow a foghorn or whistle down the phone!

Asking "Do your kids know you steal for a living?"

Open a Linux Virtual Machine and do play along, ask loads of windows related questions

KrustyBurger · 13-10-2014 5:45pm

I let him waffle on for ages pleading ignorance and worrying out loud about the security threat. I asked him how he got my number etc. Finally after about 5 minutes talking about the Windows security threat I said in a very worried voice "But I've a Mac".

He hung up.

Riesen_Meal · 13-10-2014 5:47pm

KrustyBurger wrote: »

I let him waffle on for ages pleading ignorance and worrying out loud about the security threat. I asked him how he got my number etc. Finally after about 5 minutes talking about the Windows security threat I said in a very worried voice "But I've a Mac".

He hung up.

Yup,

I usually say "is the Windows button near the Mac button", they tend to hang up....

Lenn Brennan · 13-10-2014 5:47pm

I've done the Mac thing and the I don't own a computer thing.

I'd love to keep one on the phone for ages thinking they had me.

Or just troll them and keep them on the phone for ages

13-10-2014 5:52pm

My OH took one of those calls from a well spoken English lady. He pretended to follow her instructions and she kept asking him to do x, y or z as the problem still existed. Eventually he said, "Maybe the problem is YOUR windows". She paused and said "Go Fcuk yourself" and hung up!

VinLieger · 13-10-2014 6:00pm

Ahh so many options, the mac is a classic and my auto go to but if you have time stringing them along while you just browse boards is a great one as well.

Ive tried the I work for Microsoft a couple of times as well and have met a surprising response on 2 occasions where all I can take away is they honestly truly believed that they worked for Microsoft.

My worst one had to be though when they rang 4 days in a row and possibly twice on the 3rd day. Any way by day 4 I was a bit tired of it and had a lot on my plate so wasn't in the best of moods to deal with their ****e.
There was always a tiny delay when you answer between when they began their spiel that gave away it was on of those calls so when I heard it was them I just said "go **** yourself" down the line before they could talk and hung up.
He rang back 5 times asking why I was so insulting and mean to him to which I eventually lost it and just began yelling down the phone at him, if I had had an airhorn handy I would have used it tbh I was in that much of a foul mood.

The Backwards Man · 13-10-2014 6:00pm

I tell them I live in a tent.

*almost said wigwam there before I realised the connotation.*

keithclancy · 13-10-2014 6:02pm

My grandad told them he was going to get his credit card and then took the dogs out for a walk... guy was still on the phone after he got back an hour later.

Said he was old and still looking for it and went out to the pub.

Wasn't on the phone when he got back.

ThisRegard · 13-10-2014 6:04pm

I had a call last week, told them that while I agree the problems they could see were very serious I was in work and needed some way I could bill them. Couldn't get a credit card or bank account off him before he abruptly hung up.

anncoates · 13-10-2014 6:05pm

Have a search in here. There's about 10 million hilarious accounts of trolling spammers and phishers.

It's all incredibly fascinating.

circadian · 13-10-2014 6:05pm

Install windows on a VM. Get smart with wireshark.

Be creative and have fun.

Capt'n Midnight · 13-10-2014 6:06pm

If only it was this easy

Today is a good day. I just had a call from a telemarketer. Did I yell and scream at them, you ask? Certainly not. Like a good IT administrator I put my skills to use for their benefit. Here's how the conversation went:

Computer: "Press 9 to not be contacted in the future. Press 4 to speak to someone about your mortgage issues"
<presses 4>
TM: "Hello, are you having problems paying your mortgage?"
Me: "Hi, this is the IT department. We intercepted your call as we detected a problem with you phone and need to fix it."
TM: "Oh... ok, well what do we need to do?"
Me: "We're going to need to fix the settings by pressing 4-6-8 and * at the same time"
TM: "Ok, nothing happened."
<alright, so he's not using a Polycom>
Me: "Are you using the new Polycom phones that we deployed?"
TM: "No, it's a Yealink"
Me: "Ok, I see. You haven't had the new Polycom phone deployed to your desk yet. Let me check our technical documentations for the Yealink."
<did a quick Google search, "yealink phone factory reset">
Me: "Alright, do you see an "OK" button on your phone?"
TM: "Yes I do"
Me: "Alright, you're going to press and hold that button for 10 seconds."
TM: "OK, pressing it now"
Me: "Perfect, let me know if you get a password request"
TM: "OK, nothing has popped up ye----"
<click>

That's right. I made a telemarketer unwittingly factory reset his phone which means he will be unable to make anymore calls until someone is able to reconfigure his phone and that will take at least an hour or longer if they can't do it right away!

Mint Sauce · 13-10-2014 6:11pm

I have no intentions of ever owning a mac, so why would I ever say I have one.

Hagar7 · 13-10-2014 7:56pm

I got a call or 10.
"Sam from Microsoft windows here,good day sir."

Me....Not really Sam,its pissing down cats and dogs.

Sam...We have found a problem in your windows.

Me.....Hold on Sam,my wife is asking who is calling,I told her its a guy call Sam who's calling on behalf of Mike Rowsoft Windows,shall I tell Sam we don't need new windows darling.

Sam.....No no sir this is Microsoft windows.

Me...I thought you said you were called Sam.

Sam....I am Sam.

Me....So Mike is the son of Sam,didn't they make a film about you?
Are you the mass murderer,you bastard,eh?

Sam....Are you ****ing crazy or what !!!

Me......Who are you calling crazy,eh,I never killed anyone you stupid idiot.

Sam....**** off.

Me....Have a nice day.:)

mikeym · 13-10-2014 8:17pm

Id love a call from those helpful lads

biko · 13-10-2014 8:21pm

PM your number and I'll ring you with an Indian accent.

hoodwinked · 13-10-2014 8:35pm

i kept one on the phone for about 30 minutes one saturday morning, (i was annoyed they woke me up) after going around in circles he told me to press the ctrl button and i replied i was pressing the command button as thats how it works on a mac,

i haven't received another call since,

well until apple india call me whenever that is.....

my grandmother also left the call continue by placing the handset on the chair in the hall and continuing on with her housework, a few hours later the line was dead so she put the phone back in the cradle, she also has been blacklisted it seems......

Antar Bolaeisk · 13-10-2014 8:39pm

Tell them you're running windows 9.

Gandalph · 13-10-2014 10:27pm

Do these guys call on your mobiles or house phones? I'm sickened I haven't gotten even one, would love to talk some rubbish to them.

fleet_admiral · 13-10-2014 10:36pm

I havent received one on the landline or the mobile, I feel left out:(

mayobumblebee · 13-10-2014 11:14pm

The fella who was on the phone to me seemed to be able to fix a mac also even though he rang with a windows problem fix. I had him on the phone playing stupid for ten minutes, then I said oh my husband says its a mac. He then says no problem I'll put you on to our mac expert I was then transferred to someone else I left the phone off the hook for a while then hung up. No return call yet.

ErnieBert · 13-10-2014 11:27pm

I asked his what's he wearing?

He hung up

PukkaStukka · 13-10-2014 11:34pm

I let the little guy on the other end prattle on about being from Microsoft technical support. I played along and just before we were about to get working on the PC, I asked him how come countries like his were massively impoverished and many couldn't put a square meal on their tables, yet they had a first class IT infrastructure when it came to scamming and ripping the rest of us off. He immediately terminated the call and I felt terrible for insulting him like that. I mean, I never even got a chance to abuse him properly....

eeepaulo · 13-10-2014 11:34pm

Google 419 baiting, some people have made a huge effort

michael999999 · 13-10-2014 11:36pm

Lenn Brennan wrote: »

Hi All,

I've been getting a fair few of those calls lately. I was wondering if anyone has any good ways to string them along and annoy them??

Just for the craic.

Cheers
from
Lenn

Are you sure it wasn't 3 customer care?

AlanS181824 · 13-10-2014 11:43pm

I usually play dumb for ages and ages, I'm getting my debit card now, yes yes, a virus you say? Oh Nelly that sounds woeful!

Then at the end go... I thought Macs don't get viruses?

Bottler70 · 13-10-2014 11:44pm

I kept them on the line for about 15 minutes and then announced that I had performed VOIP traces on the call and that I was working for the FBI and that a team was on enroute to their location to arrest them for scamming.

I advised him to cooperate if he didn't want to go to jail! The guy hung up very quickly. Great crack ðŸ˜Š

How to wind up Indian Windows scammers

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