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Ridiculous things your teachers said in school.

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  • 01-10-2014 8:17pm
    #1
    0byme75341jo28
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,571 ✭✭✭


    Junior Cert chemistry teacher:

    "Now Andy I'll be seeing your parents at the parent-teacher meetings and I'll be expecting them to be the exact same as you; SCUM!"

    :D :pac:


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    #2
    Schwiiing
    Registered Users Posts: 2,650 ✭✭✭Schwiiing


    2nd year Christmas Report:

    Maths: Schwiiing reached rock bottom some time ago but has recently started to dig.


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    #3
    blaze1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭blaze1


    Head teacher to my mate.

    "You must be the master roller in your group"


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    #4
    131spanner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭131spanner


    "There's no need to practise for the oral exam, ye're well able to talk ****e."


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    #5
    hairyslug
    Registered Users Posts: 2,589 ✭✭✭hairyslug


    Our headmaster is primary school told us that it was good not to eat for a day every now and again so that we could give our stomachs a break


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    #6
    Bassfish
    Registered Users Posts: 903 ✭✭✭Bassfish


    Primary school teacher in the mid nineties told us to never shake hands with a gay person as we'll get the AIDS!


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    #7
    Satriale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,023 ✭✭✭Satriale


    hairyslug wrote: »
    Our headmaster is primary school told us that it was good not to eat for a day every now and again so that we could give our stomachs a break

    He was dead right! My headmaster used to just beat me:(


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    #8
    saintsaltynuts
    Registered Users Posts: 1,106 ✭✭✭saintsaltynuts


    "You'll go far son".


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    #9
    cactuspaw
    Registered Users Posts: 646 ✭✭✭cactuspaw


    " I think you should study agricultural science "


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    #10
    Ompala
    Registered Users Posts: 896 ✭✭✭Ompala


    Junior Cert German, guy was hitting his pen off the desk

    Teacher "If you don't stop banging that I will bang you!"

    One threat she never carried out :pac:


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    #11
    TheDoc90
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭TheDoc90


    "You should get a trade youngfella the Leaving Cert isn't for you, there's plenty of jobs and money in a trade" 6 months later the housing crash... lucky I never did what I was told.


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    #12
    flas
    Registered Users Posts: 1,270 ✭✭✭flas


    Leaving cert english teacher said to my mam on parents teacher meeting that if I was any more laid back id be lying down and that he is thinking about bringing me in a hammock! I took it as a compliment and seeing as I got a b grade(both years I did my leaving) I think I was right too!


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    #13
    is mise spartacus
    Registered Users Posts: 1,027 ✭✭✭is mise spartacus


    When I was in second year
    Teacher: "I suppose everyone's gone down to the bookies to put a few bob on a horse, haven't they?"
    Uh, we were 14 :D


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    #14
    crazygeryy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,065 ✭✭✭crazygeryy


    come out i know your in there you ll go blind if you keep doing that.


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    #15
    sullivlo
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 9,994 Mod ✭✭✭✭sullivlo


    hairyslug wrote: »
    Our headmaster is primary school told us that it was good not to eat for a day every now and again so that we could give our stomachs a break

    My gastroenterologist says the same


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    #16
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I got hauled up before the principal for getting my head shaved in class, the principal goes over a whole spiel about health and safety and hygiene when the teacher who ratted on me interjected

    'In fairness Mr *******, they were using a bucket'


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    #17
    ricero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,348 ✭✭✭✭ricero


    "If I was your parent I would be ashamed of yas". He was a great teacher though.


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    #18
    Cienciano
    Registered Users Posts: 14,230 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I got hauled up before the principal for getting my head shaved in class, the principal goes over a whole spiel about health and safety and hygiene when the teacher who ratted on me interjected

    'In fairness Mr *******, they were using a bucket'

    I'm glad you censored his name. To avoid an unnecessary court case


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    #19
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    hairyslug wrote: »
    Our headmaster is primary school told us that it was good not to eat for a day every now and again so that we could give our stomachs a break

    There is benefits to intermittent fasting for adults. Though not something you'd want children doing obviously.


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    #20
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Cienciano wrote: »
    I'm glad you censored his name. To avoid an unnecessary court case
    I kinda have to, he's one of the most famous ex school principals in the country.:pac:

    And he remembers me very well . . . .


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    #21
    Rabbo
    Registered Users Posts: 637 ✭✭✭Rabbo


    Our teachers used to always give us the impression that the inspector was coming to inspect our work and not the theirs. They used to scare the ****e out of us, make us think that we were at risk of being held back a year if we didn't perform and have us preparing for days before. If only we had known we could have had a little fun- "did that child just say what's a battle?"


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    #22
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    "Well, Shifty, I've come across some asses in my time, but you take some beating"

    Took me a while to live that one down.


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    #23
    veryangryman
    Registered Users Posts: 5,534 ✭✭✭veryangryman


    Metalwork teacher: I'll stick your head through that vice!


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    #24
    sunshine and showers
    Registered Users Posts: 2,027 ✭✭✭sunshine and showers


    French teacher about my uncle on a school report:

    "M is like a bucket filling with knowledge. Too bad there's a hole in the bucket."


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    #25
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    TheDoc90 wrote: »
    "You should get a trade youngfella the Leaving Cert isn't for you, there's plenty of jobs and money in a trade" 6 months later the housing crash... lucky I never did what I was told.

    Shocking advice to receive from a person who works in education.

    I remember a few in my school leaving after the JC to work on sites, at least our school did try to dissuade them but the lure of the 'big bucks':rolleyes: was too strong for many. They probably thought we were mugs for staying.


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    #26
    MRnotlob606
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,642 ✭✭✭MRnotlob606


    Business teacher told us by the time we finished school ,the financial crisis would be over, I'm now two years out of school and things aren't looking great on the jobs front.


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    #27
    Tigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,707 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    that thing about valance shells


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    #28
    Molester Stallone II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,459 ✭✭✭Molester Stallone II


    "You're a useless little fckr and I already know you've failed your Xmas exam"
    First year Latin teacher to me 30 mins before I took a 6" nail to his car door


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    #29
    Winty
    Registered Users Posts: 1,033 ✭✭✭Winty


    My English teacher told us all that the best job you can have is one that supplies a uniform and we should aim for that.


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    #30
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Really too many to mention, but this I suppose would be one of the funniest times -

    Czarcasm wrote: »
    I remember being in sixth class in Primary school and we had a sub-teacher in for a couple of months. I had stayed back in fifth class as my mother wanted us all in a row when it came to passing our books down. So in came this guy anyway and every so often when he was explaining something to the class he'd look at me and go -

    "You know all this already Czarcasm..."

    I just thought to myself -

    "Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about?"

    I only figured it out later that someone must have told him I was staying back in sixth class and not fifth, but he was a really nice guy and I didn't want to be a prick so I just stayed a week ahead of him in the book so that every time he'd say "You know all this already Czarcasm", I'd just nod and say nothing.

    If I was back there now I'd encourage any child to speak up for themselves and don't be afraid to tell their teacher if they're having difficulties, because as brilliant as some teachers are, and as much as teacher training methods have moved on to spot the early signs of cognitive and learning disabilities, they're still not capable of mind reading! :D


    You had to be there :pac:


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    #31
    sunshine and showers
    Registered Users Posts: 2,027 ✭✭✭sunshine and showers


    My LC Irish teacher told my parents (in front of me) that I was "underwhelming" her.


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