Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

keeponhurling · 27-09-2014 11:58PM

Ironically the ad that pops up on the side of this thread is a website to meet "warm hearted Asians"

Foxmint · 27-09-2014 11:58PM

Deleted User wrote: »

No other nationality has ever said a word.. It's literally always the Irish. And then people wonder why I don't go to Irish bars or visit home.

It's just good old Irish jealousy and begrudery OP
The things that have held this country back for generations.

bb1234567 · 28-09-2014 12:00AM

Depends on both of your ages. If youre roughly the same age as her I wouldnt think it was a mail order bride. If youre in your 40/50's or older and shes a young little thing (under 30) and theres a large age gap then I would immediately think she was a mail order bride sorryy

Foxmint · 28-09-2014 12:01AM

Even if she is a mail order bride, I always think, fair fcks to them.

Anything else is just good old Irish jealously and begrudery.

keeponhurling · 28-09-2014 12:03AM

ireland.man wrote: »

1) Sex trafficking jokes
2) The man can't find an Irish girlfriend or has a 'fetish' for different races
3) Mail order bride (and within that she's either the victim or victimiser)

.

Added to my banter check list

The Th!ng · 28-09-2014 12:03AM

I've heard it said that the vaginas of Asian women are horizontal.

ireland.man · 28-09-2014 12:04AM

keeponhurling wrote: »

Added to my banter check list

Damn it.

worded · 28-09-2014 12:08AM

The Russian bride you ordered is waiting for you at reception.

The Th!ng · 28-09-2014 12:13AM

Whenever I see a man in a field with a few sheep I allways think Lucky Fcuker as I assume he is going to be banging them all night long.

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 12:25AM

Like others, I'd only think it if you were old. I think there is a tendency among Irish people to think provincially for sure, but I don't think this usually contains hatred, and is annoying but pretty harmless. It's not hostile, ugly, nasty racism like that of some organisations (none of them prevalent in this country).
Some people get such a hard-on from going on about Ireland as if it's like 1950s Mississippi. Here, you get quizzicalness (if that's a word) but you don't get death threats and burning crosses and terrorised.

GabbyJay wrote: »

Funny thing is that most wealthy Vietnamese are far richer than your average Irish guy. A lot of poverty in the countryside, but when someone is from a rich family there's big money there and they spend $10k on their sofa. That's not to get started on Singapore / Hong Kong / Japan where even there is serious cash flying around even in ordinary families. I think the ignorant Irish guy will eventually cop on to the fact that his souped up Nissan Micra actually isn't so impressive outside of Offaly.

Not sure what the relevance of the above is to this topic? It's not about people assuming Vietnamese people can't be wealthy.

kneemos wrote: »

I'd say take the chip off your shoulder,stop looking for things to get offended by and get on with the life.

If that's his experience, that's his experience - not fair to dismiss it. But then again, his sig...

Omackeral wrote: »

The chap saying Ireland is one of the most racist countries in the world must have been bitten by the hyperbole bug or else is hanging out with some absolute backwards cretins. Watch any football team that has a black footballer playing against the likes of Serbia and get back to me. The whole stadium whistles and monkey chants. That's indicative of some societies, not ours. Try speaking to a white South African about his darker skinned compatriots, even a generation after Apartheid ended. Try being a westerner in the more fundamental parts of the Middle East. Even try wearing a Turban in the Deep South and you'll be deemed a 'terrorist' by some, even though you'd be most likely a Sikh.

Ireland is far from being near the top of the racist pyramid.

It's fashionable to say it is though, e.g.

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Definitely top 10.

spurious wrote: »

Isn't it funny though, that we think being from Ireland makes us such catches?

We do?

Emme · 28-09-2014 12:35AM

1stimpressions wrote: »

As an aside I've had two long term girlfriends here in Thailand. Both were more than six years older than me. Am I a goldigger?

No. You're a cougar hunter

ireland.man · 28-09-2014 12:39AM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Like others, I'd only think it if you were old. I think there is a tendency among Irish people to think provincially for sure, but I don't think this usually contains hatred, and is annoying but pretty harmless. It's not hostile, ugly, nasty racism like that of some organisations (none of them prevalent in this country).
Some people get such a hard-on from going on about Ireland as if it's like 1950s Mississippi. Here, you get quizzicalness (if that's a word) but you don't get death threats and burning crosses and terrorised.

Not sure what the relevance of the above is to this topic? It's not about people assuming Vietnamese people can't be wealthy.

If that's his experience, that's his experience - not fair to dismiss it. But then again, his sig...

It's fashionable to say it is though, e.g.

We do?

If only it was "quizzicalness (if that's a word) but you don't get death threats and burning crosses and terrorised".

Remember we have women right now held essentially in slavery in Ireland, Asian and other foreign women in a brutal sex trade. Jokes, banter and perceptions of foreign women as commodities (like mail ordering products) adds to that massive, terrifyingly cruel problem. There's no need to pass of ignorance in Ireland as 'harmless racism' compared to 'ugly racism'. We've horrible problems in our culture and we should address them, nothing more simple than that.

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 12:42AM

Is the sex trade racism?

I know Ireland has problems, like anywhere, but I'm referring to the way people go on about it as if it's nearly apartheid South Africa - and they like thinking of it that way too.

lufties · 28-09-2014 12:49AM

--LOS-- wrote: »

just small-mindedness

My family would be the same, it's very important for them to know where someone is from and if they're from the countryside they're automatically more trustworthy or something, it's weird. Every family meetup will inevitably turn into racial humour, it's pretty uncomfortable to be around, on the inside I'm face-palming them. Better dealt with at a distance I find

Jesus, my family would be liberal hippies compared to yours in that case (no offence). I brought home(south tipperary) my ex a few years ago, she was filipina (met her in Australia where she had been for 8 years). Nobody gave a damn in fairness, but I could see the confusion in some people's eyes they didn't know what to make of it.

metaoblivia · 28-09-2014 01:00AM

I live in San Francisco and white guy/Asian girl is almost the default here, so I wouldn't bat an eye. Like others, I think it depends more on the age difference, but even then you never know. And I certainly can't judge. The guy I'm dating is about 20 years older than me. I'm in my 30s but look like I'm in my 20s and he looks his age. And, although it's not immediately apparent, we come from different religious backgrounds; he's Jewish and I'm not.

We definitely raise some eyebrows when we go out and people realize he's not my dad. But he's a great guy and we have a lot of fun together, so they can raise all the eyebrows they want. Neither of us feels like we owe anyone an explanation for our relationship.

lufties · 28-09-2014 01:05AM

Deleted User wrote: »

For at least the tenth time, I had an Irish cunt last night turn from friendly into a "You're being taken for a ride" or "can you not find an Irish girl?" when I said my girlfriend was Vietnamese.

I was by myself playing pool in the bar after a really tough week at work and I had just given him some advice about travelling and stuff. For about ten minutes, I listened to his "I don't agree with that, go home and find a proper girl" speech and then I just flipped, called him out as a racist wanker and then he tried to start a fight. Thankfully, his older friend got involved and made him leave.

My brother had the same with his eastern European wife. My friends back home said it all about him.

The Irish ambassador to Vietnam (I hope she sees this) on her last night six months ago or a year ago was drunk, came onto me and when I told her "I'm with my girlfriend" who was standing next to me, said "Is she with you for your money?". This woman had been here for three years and that was her opinion.

In Galway a few years ago, one of the lads took home his Japanese girlfriend and everyone had a field day talking about it.

One of my friends came to Hanoi a few months ago and told me about "a terrible rumor that I had married an Asian".

And then there's been all the Irish passing through Hanoi who had to give their backward opinion.

No other nationality has ever said a word.. It's literally always the Irish. And then people wonder why I don't go to Irish bars or visit home.

In fairness if you are a reasonably attractive, respectful individual with some teeth left in your head, then I'd say you got her on your own merit.

Last year I was having a tough time finding 'the one', I convinced myself I was destined to a life of plain janes and common women, so I considered the option of a russian bride. By all accounts they make great wives, are not self entitled with massive egos, and they tend to be beautiful looking. In the end I snapped out of it and picked my self esteem off the ground and did some research into dating and attraction.

My point is, even if a bloke did get a mail order bride, I would not have any disrespect for him, but part of me would have a bit of sadness for him. Its amazing the results you can obtain by reading up on attraction and dating.

Foxmint · 28-09-2014 01:09AM

lufties wrote: »

My point is, even if a bloke did get a mail order bride, I would not have any disrespect for him, but part of me would have a bit of sadness for him. Its amazing the results you can obtain by reading up on attraction and dating.

I always think fair fcks to them, when I see a lad with what is likely to be a mail order bride.
I'd have far more respect for a bloke with a mail order bride than a slimey pick up artist and their books that seem to infect any boards thread about women.

ireland.man · 28-09-2014 01:11AM

It's a hard choice, do you use a pick-up book, or money to trick a woman into a loving relationship with you? Choices, choices...

Foxmint · 28-09-2014 01:13AM

ireland.man wrote: »

It's a hard choice, do you use a pick-up book, or money to trick a woman into a loving relationship with you? Choices, choices...

What's the trick exactly ? It's her choice as well.

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 01:13AM

What are "common women"?

bb1234567 · 28-09-2014 01:14AM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

What are "common women"?

I think he means average looking women

lufties · 28-09-2014 01:15AM

ireland.man wrote: »

It's a hard choice, do you use a pick-up book, or money to trick a woman into a loving relationship with you? Choices, choices...

Im not talking about pua fake stuff, I'm talking about self improvement, understanding that being the nicest guy in the room doesn't work..confindence, dress sense, wit and how to be better at these things. True confidence I'm talking about, not walking with a fake swagger, with a fake deep voice, saying canned chat up lines.

lufties · 28-09-2014 01:18AM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

What are "common women"?

Women with no hobbies, and nothing interesting to talk about only how good x factor was and the nicky minaj video.

ireland.man · 28-09-2014 01:20AM

lufties wrote: »

Im not talking about pua fake stuff, I'm talking about self improvement, understanding that being the nicest guy in the room doesn't work..confindence, dress sense, wit and how to be better at these things. True confidence I'm talking about, not walking with a fake swagger, with a fake deep voice, saying canned chat up lines.

I think there's a movement around 'pick-up artistry' and self help manuals that tend to devalue and dehumanise women. 'Beta males', 'nice guys', etc is akin to neurolinguistic programming and other stuff that boils down to treating the woman as a prize. If you found a woman and you're happy, it's because you gain confidence and did away with negative self-perceptions and fair play for that, seriously.

I shouldn't have said 'tricked a woman' into a relationship but I'm just saying there's a problem with turning women into objects that can be bought, achieved, won.

lufties · 28-09-2014 01:24AM

ireland.man wrote: »

I think there's a movement around 'pick-up artistry' and self help manuals that tend to devalue and dehumanise women. 'Beta males', 'nice guys', etc is akin to neurolinguistic programming and other stuff that boils down to treating the woman as a prize. If you found a woman and you're happy, it's because you gain confidence and did away with negative self-perceptions and fair play for that, seriously.

I shouldn't have said 'tricked a woman' into a relationship but I'm just saying there's a problem with turning women into objects that can be bought, achieved, won.

Oh come on, males chase females, its human biology, its in our nature to want to reproduce. Western society of the last number of decades for a number of different reasons has made men into 'nice guys', that struggle to find a partner.

candy-gal1 · 28-09-2014 01:29AM

Tbh, and possably just imho, but it seems the same kind of thing thats said/presumed by some when it comes to Irish girls/women going out with Indian/pakistani/nigerian guys

I cant lie, Ive made that assumption in my head on more than a few occaisons, but its moreso because of how the couple got together, why, and theyre way of going on with each other etc tbh, and they all seem to fall into the same category more or less

Call it racist or whatever you want, everything seems to be racist these days though :rolleyes::pac:, but in a fair few cases of this or an Irish guy and a Asian/polish girl it seems to be out of convenience in one way or another
Not in all or even close to all the cases though

ireland.man · 28-09-2014 01:30AM

lufties wrote: »

Oh come on, males chase females, its human biology, its in our nature to want to reproduce. Western society of the last number of decades for a number of different reasons has made men into 'nice guys', that struggle to find a partner.

Nah, 'nice guys' as a concept is just a silly recent thing. Pretending to have a friendship with a woman that you secretly want to bone makes you not a nice guy. Being nice means treating women with respect, treating them as equals, accepting their choices and opinions are individual ones, etc. It's always worked for me.

It's simple. Whether it's Asians, Russians, Africans or women in general, stop turning them into commodities to be bought, won, achieved!

lufties · 28-09-2014 01:38AM

ireland.man wrote: »

Nah, 'nice guys' as a concept is just a silly recent thing. Pretending to have a friendship with a woman that you secretly want to bone makes you not a nice guy. Being nice means treating women with respect, treating them as equals, accepting their choices and opinions are individual ones, etc. It's always worked for me.

It's simple. Whether it's Asians, Russians, Africans or women in general, stop turning them into commodities to be bought, won, achieved!

By all means be nice and friendly out of purely being a decent human being. With regard to attraction, many men, including me until recently, thought that being the nicest fella and putting women on a pedestal would find me the love of my life, then I realised how toxic that thinking was to my love life.

EmilyHoward · 28-09-2014 01:42AM

OP is your real name "Mr Dudley" ?

ireland.man · 28-09-2014 01:43AM

lufties wrote: »

By all means be nice and friendly out of purely being a decent human being. With regard to attraction, many men, including me until recently, thought that being the nicest fella and putting women on a pedestal would find me the love of my life, then I realised how toxic that thinking was to my love life.

Putting women on a pedestal isn't being nice. I guess that's my point, all about equality. And I agree, a bit of confidence goes a huge way. I don't have enough experience beyond those two opinions anyway but again, fair play that you're happy now and confident.

Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

Comments