Wedding Documentation and Procedure Thread

Broken Strings · 24-09-2014 02:24PM #1

Hi Guys,

Apologies if this has been done before but I'm a bit lost with some of this stuff.

Can someone give me a breakdown of what we need to get married?

Our appointment with our chosen priest isn't for another few weeks as he is away and i'm finding it difficult to get information about what we need.

I'll give you some background. We are planning to get married in a Church which is outside both our parishes. It's just across the road from where we both went to school and I made my communion and confirmation there etc so I like it. The only thing that's actually making me tied to my parish is the fact that I got baptised there, but that's not where I went for any of the other milestones. Hubby to be's parish church is closing next year, and it wouldn't have been his preference anyway because it's quite a dark and dreary church.

So what do we need from our parishes so we can move forward with getting married in our chosen church (which is only around 1.5 km away from our respective parish churches anyway, so it's not like we're changing to a very far away parish) I heard that you need a letter releasing you from your parish before you can marry in a different church. Is this right?

I haven't met the priest yet, but he was recommended to me by my cousin and is a very nice guy by all accounts. I like this because neither of us have any direct contact with priests and wouldn't have anyone in mind to do our ceremony, so it's nice that we are at least sticking with someone who is marrying other people in my family. Now the lady at the Presbytery who I spoke to doesn't forsee him having any other weddings on the date that we have provisionally booked the church for, so she figures he'll be OK with it. I'm just wondering if there is anything in particular he will need to ask us or any documentation we need to give to him directly.

I looked at the Births, Deaths and Marriages website and they only have information needed about ordering certificates. Nothing about what documentation we'll need to provide to notify them or the registrar about our intent to marry. Does anyone know how soon we should do this, how we even go about doing this (I'm ashamed to say I actually don't know how to contact the registrar, do we just to to the local births, deaths and marriages office?) and what we will need to bring with us?

Pre-Marriage course:
It actually normally takes place in the parish that i'm planning to leave so I can marry elsewhere! Will I still get to go there to do the course or do I need to do it elsewhere. Also, what do we need to bring, and how soon before the wedding do we need to do it?

A lot of people think it's just all decorations, flowers and dresses but there is a hell of a lot more behind organizing a wedding and if I'm honest my head is spinning and i'm totally lost! On the verge of hyperventilating!!

It's been a very long time since either of our parents got married and I don't have siblings, and none of our friends are married yet (only friends who got married recently got married in Canada and live there, so that's a whole different kettle of fish) so we don't really have a hell of a lot of people to rely on for help with all this documentation and procedures side of things.

Any help would be really really appreciated

:o:o

lazygal · 24-09-2014 02:35PM

Maybe clarify this is for information on religious documents? The state procedure for registering intent is very straightforward and all information is on the website.

Broken Strings · 24-09-2014 02:42PM

lazygal wrote: »

Maybe clarify this is for information on religious documents? The state procedure for registering intent is very straightforward and all information is on the website.

Well it's for both really.

This is where I'm getting my information with regards the registrar:
http://www.birthsdeathsmarriages.ie/faqs/#a14

And I think it's a bit vauge.

I wouldn't even know how to put together a letter like that to be honest or who in particular to address it to. Or what needs to go with it!

Sorry if i'm totally missing where to get the information but as I mentioned, i'm feeling a bit frazzled with all of it.

biddywiddy · 24-09-2014 02:52PM

Written notification means that you submit a form with your details including proposed date of marriage, witnesses, etc. If you contact the registrar they can give you this form and a list of the documentation required.

You then make an appointment with the Registrar which you both attend in person with the documentation requested. This appointment must be at least 3 months before your wedding (unless you live overseas, in which case the timeline can be different).

You can find contact details for your Registrar here. http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/1/bdm/contactus/
Call them and they will outline what they need from you.

Are you planning to marry in the Catholic Church?

Broken Strings · 24-09-2014 02:53PM

biddywiddy wrote: »

Written notification means that you submit a form with your details including proposed date of marriage, witnesses, etc. If you contact the registrar they can give you this form and a list of the documentation required.

You then make an appointment with the Registrar which you both attend in person with the documentation requested. This appointment must be at least 3 months before your wedding (unless you live overseas, in which case the timeline can be different).

You can find contact details for your Registrar here. http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/1/bdm/contactus/
Call them and they will outline what they need from you.

Are you planning to marry in the Catholic Church?

Thank you BiddyWiddy!

Yes it's a Catholic Church

Edit: Also can you go earlier than the 3 months, as in 6 months etc. I wouldn't want to be doing it too early obviously incase there's any major change with date or venue due to unforeseen circumstances, but I am the type that likes to be organised so i'd be hoping to do it well ahead of time.

biddywiddy · 24-09-2014 02:54PM

Also, have a read of this webpage.

http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/1/bdm/crsappointment/

It has more specific information on each region.

biddywiddy · 24-09-2014 03:03PM

I can give you my experience of arranging a wedding in the Catholic Church, but the priest who will marry you will tell you the specific information and documentation he requires. My experience is also a bit different as I live overseas at the minute.

We are getting married in a Parish which is not a home Parish for either of us. The biggest issue for us, initially, was finding a Priest to marry us. You seem to have this already sorted.

The Priest will tell you what he requires in order to marry you. This will probably include some sort of Marriage Preparation Course (ask the Priest which courses he will accept and how soon you need to do this).

You will also need a copy of your Baptism and Confirmation Certs (this could be the same piece of paper if you did both in the same Parish, or separate certificates if not).

It is likely the Priest will also require some sort of written proof that you have not previously been married in the Catholic Church. Often this takes the form of a 'Letter of Freedom' from your home Parish. If you have lived in different places since turning 18, you may be asked to provide a Letter from each Parish. We have lived in a few places, and so were asked to provide a Statutory Declaration that we had never been married. We were given a template, which we each filled out and had witnessed by a Notary Public here.

This is the stage we are at now, as our documentation is on the way to the Parish in which we will marry.

Broken Strings · 24-09-2014 03:09PM

biddywiddy wrote: »

I can give you my experience of arranging a wedding in the Catholic Church, but the priest who will marry you will tell you the specific information and documentation he requires. My experience is also a bit different as I live overseas at the minute.

We are getting married in a Parish which is not a home Parish for either of us. The biggest issue for us, initially, was finding a Priest to marry us. You seem to have this already sorted.

The Priest will tell you what he requires in order to marry you. This will probably include some sort of Marriage Preparation Course (ask the Priest which courses he will accept and how soon you need to do this).

You will also need a copy of your Baptism and Confirmation Certs (this could be the same piece of paper if you did both in the same Parish, or separate certificates if not).

It is likely the Priest will also require some sort of written proof that you have not previously been married in the Catholic Church. Often this takes the form of a 'Letter of Freedom' from your home Parish. If you have lived in different places since turning 18, you may be asked to provide a Letter from each Parish. We have lived in a few places, and so were asked to provide a Statutory Declaration that we had never been married. We were given a template, which we each filled out and had witnessed by a Notary Public here.

This is the stage we are at now, as our documentation is on the way to the Parish in which we will marry.

Thanks BiddyWiddy,

This sounds like a great starting point.

I'd imagine the letter my cousin was talking about so was the letter of freedom.

I'll start gathering documents next week

biddywiddy · 24-09-2014 03:30PM

Broken Strings wrote: »

I'll start gathering documents next week

One thing to note is that the Baptism & Confirmation Certs have to be issued within 6 months of your wedding.

We started organising our wedding about 8 months out, so we had to get through everything rather quickly - pick a date, guestlist, venue, priest, registrar, documentation, pre-marriage course etc

Depending on when you are getting married, you might find that you have more time to do things like this. You can contact the Registrar and declare your intent anyway, but some of the Church paperwork may have to be delayed 'til closer to the time. Check about the pre-marriage course too. We did ours in August, so it was within the 6 months anyway. I'm not sure if the time you do it is important or not.

neemish · 28-09-2014 05:20PM

Before getting married in the Catholic Church, you have to complete Pre-Nuptial Papers with a priest. These basically establish that you are free to marry and that both of you understand what the Sacrament of Marriage is.

Within six months of the date of their marriage you should organise the following documents in order to have your Pre-nuptial papers completed by a priest in the parish in which you live:

A Baptismal Certificate for each party
A Confirmation Certificate for each party where the date of the Confirmation is NOT on the Baptism Cert.
A Letter of Freedom from every Parish in which you have lived since you turned 18 - This says that you were not married in that Parish. In Dublin Diocese, there is the option to have a family member sign a statement saying that you are free to marry.
The MRF which you will receive from the Marriage Registrar

All of these documents must be dated within six months of the Wedding Day.

Couples are advised to arrange to complete a Pre-Marriage course. Early booking is advisable. A Certificate is presented on completion of this course. This Cert is then given to the priest who is looking after your Pre-nuptial Papers.

The priest who is marrying you may be willing the complete the papers with you - make sure you check well in advance.

The State requires that you give at least three months later.

Contact the Registrar’s Office to set up an interview.

At the end of that interview, you will be furnished with a Marriage Registration Form – MRF. This is the Form which is signed at the end of the Ceremony i.e “The Signing of the Register”. For that reason, this Form should be kept safe. (Have seen people lose it the day before/the day of the Wedding. Always a good idea to ask one reliable person to take responsibility for it!)

Hope this helps

Broken Strings · 28-09-2014 08:52PM

neemish wrote: »

Before getting married in the Catholic Church, you have to complete Pre-Nuptial Papers with a priest. These basically establish that you are free to marry and that both of you understand what the Sacrament of Marriage is.

Within six months of the date of their marriage you should organise the following documents in order to have your Pre-nuptial papers completed by a priest in the parish in which you live:

A Baptismal Certificate for each party
A Confirmation Certificate for each party where the date of the Confirmation is NOT on the Baptism Cert.
A Letter of Freedom from every Parish in which you have lived since you turned 18 - This says that you were not married in that Parish. In Dublin Diocese, there is the option to have a family member sign a statement saying that you are free to marry.
The MRF which you will receive from the Marriage Registrar

All of these documents must be dated within six months of the Wedding Day.

Couples are advised to arrange to complete a Pre-Marriage course. Early booking is advisable. A Certificate is presented on completion of this course. This Cert is then given to the priest who is looking after your Pre-nuptial Papers.

The priest who is marrying you may be willing the complete the papers with you - make sure you check well in advance.

The State requires that you give at least three months later.

Contact the Registrar’s Office to set up an interview.

At the end of that interview, you will be furnished with a Marriage Registration Form – MRF. This is the Form which is signed at the end of the Ceremony i.e “The Signing of the Register”. For that reason, this Form should be kept safe. (Have seen people lose it the day before/the day of the Wedding. Always a good idea to ask one reliable person to take responsibility for it!)

Hope this helps

Thanks Neemish.

Can I just ask why the certs and letter of freedom must be within 6 months of the wedding day?

We are getting married in 18 months but would like to gather the documentation sooner rather than later. Does this mean that they will expire before the wedding if we get them too soon?

Also, my hubby2be's parish church is closing down in January so he has been advised to get the letter of freedom sooner rather than later before there's mass confusion with the parish records. So will it be an issue getting these so soon?

neemish · 28-09-2014 09:05PM

Broken Strings wrote: »

Thanks Neemish.

Can I just ask why the certs and letter of freedom must be within 6 months of the wedding day?

We are getting married in 18 months but would like to gather the documentation sooner rather than later. Does this mean that they will expire before the wedding if we get them too soon?

Also, my hubby2be's parish church is closing down in January so he has been advised to get the letter of freedom sooner rather than later before there's mass confusion with the parish records. So will it be an issue getting these so soon?

I think it has something to do with making sure that all the info is up to date, especially with letters of freedom. They will be out of date if you get them too soon and you will be asked to get them again.

AFAIK there are absolutely no exceptions to this, so your fiancee needs to find out where the records are being transferred to. It will either be a nearby parish or the Diocesan offices. Don't worry- the Church is well used to dealing with things like that!

In Dublin, the pre marriage course can be done at any time- as long as it's with the person you are marrying!

Wedding Documentation and Procedure Thread

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