New technology and gizmos that can go and ask our collective lovely årses

IvaBigWun · 09-09-2014 01:45PM #1

So apparently the iPhone 6 is just hours away and as I look at my own smartphone here I wonder; "what the fcuk do we need on a new phone that we don't already have now?"

The one upmanship between Apple and Samsung is now like something out of a playground.

What new technology and gizmos can go and ask our collective lovely årses?

Menas · 09-09-2014 01:53PM

IvaBigWun wrote: »

What new technology and gizmos can go and ask our collective lovely årses?

Japanese toilets with automatic 'bidet' function. Gave me a hell of a shock the first time I got a 'blast' of warm water whilst having some loo time.

Bang_Bang · 09-09-2014 01:54PM

IvaBigWun wrote: »

So apparently the iPhone 6 is just hours away and as I look at my own smartphone here I wonder; "what the fcuk do we need on a new phone that we don't already have now?"

The one upmanship between Apple and Samsung is now like something out of a playground.

What new technology and gizmos can go and ask our collective lovely årses?

An electronic cóck app would be nice, I could give the missus one from work.

IvaBigWun · 09-09-2014 01:56PM

OSI wrote: »

Smartwatches.

"God, my phone is so far away in my pocket. If only I had a much smaller, restricted version strapped to my wrist with even worse battery life"

Winner so far.

Bang_Bang · 09-09-2014 01:58PM

OSI wrote: »

Smartwatches.

"God, my phone is so far away in my pocket. If only I had a much smaller, restricted version strapped to my wrist with even worse battery life"

Oh yeah, drooling at the prospect of charging my watch all day, USB cables hanging of the wrist, oh yeah......

IvaBigWun · 09-09-2014 01:58PM

3D TVs

No. Just no.

KeithM89 · 09-09-2014 01:59PM

That ridiculous samsung phone with a screen at the edge, fu*king moronic idea.

BeerWolf · 09-09-2014 02:00PM

Bang_Bang wrote: »

An electronic cóck app would be nice, I could give the missus one from work.

Phones have had this for ages... it's called the vibrator function... Similar to controllers when they were introduced:

Picture

:pac:

Last_Minute · 09-09-2014 02:03PM

It's not Apples or Samsung's fault, its the consumers who but them that create the demand.

I love new tech as much as anyone else, but you just know exactly what a new model Iphone or Galaxy will be these days - usually thinner, lighter and with a better camera.

I think an evolution in smart phone making is about to happen. Instead of creating larger and bigger phones they will start to get smaller and smaller, some day becoming so small you can just rest it on you ear lobe.

kylith · 09-09-2014 02:05PM

Trigger Happy wrote: »

Japanese toilets with automatic 'bidet' function. Gave me a hell of a shock the first time I got a 'blast' of warm water whilst having some loo time.

I love those toilets. Makes going to the loo fun

The Purveyor of Truth · 09-09-2014 02:05PM

OSI wrote: »

Smartwatches.

"God, my phone is so far away in my pocket. If only I had a much smaller, restricted version strapped to my wrist with even worse battery life"

Heeeyyyyy, Star Trek promised us! :mad:

Karl Stein · 09-09-2014 02:06PM

I've recently patented the 'ChewBot'. It's a robot that chews your food for you and then spits it into your mouth; it will take the hassle out of having to chew your own food.

DubDJ · 09-09-2014 02:08PM

Decent battery life. How nobody has realised this and invested resources into it I'll never know. I couldn't care how thinner my phone gets anymore.

jester77 · 09-09-2014 02:08PM

KeithM89 wrote: »

That ridiculous samsung phone with a screen at the edge, fu*king moronic idea.

Get out, best idea ever.

Have you never been lying down in bed or on the couch and been too lazy to reach over and turn over the phone to see what message just popped up on the screen?

Now you don't need to, it will be on the side of the phone in line with your view.

KeithM89 · 09-09-2014 02:10PM

jester77 wrote: »

Have you never been lying down in bed or on the couch and been too lazy to reach over and turn over the phone to see what message just popped up on the screen?

But I could just look at my smartwatch to see :P

solomafioso · 09-09-2014 02:13PM

This. Waste of time and money...

Lenin Skynard · 09-09-2014 02:14PM

Google Glass. The idea is good and the potential is huge but as of now, it's very limited and far too expensive.

It will also cause a massive rise in the numbers of fights that start with "You were lookin' at me burd!", except it will be "You were filmin' me burd!".

byronbay2 · 09-09-2014 02:16PM

Karl Stein wrote: »

I've recently patented the 'ChewBot'. It's a robot that chews your food for you and then spits it into your mouth; it will take the hassle out of having to chew your own food.

Great idea, but instead of spitting the chewed up food into your mouth (some people might find it a bit bleeagh) the food should be put in the top of the ChewBot, gradually ground into smaller pieces as it goes through and then served through a hole at the bottom as a kind of "99" (without the cone and flake) onto a plate!

Akrasia · 09-09-2014 02:25PM

I don't think this internet thing will ever catch on

Most of the gadgets people are laughing at now is just another step on the way towards something awesome that we won't be able to live without in 10 years

I love to laugh at early adopters, but genuinely, thanks guys for taking one for the team. Those people who spend 600 quid on the first xbox 360 only for it to get red rings of death and die 6 months later, you guys paved the way for my ultra reliable, reasonably priced xbox a few years later

To the people who spent a fortune on the first touch screen phones on 3g before there were any decent apps or battery life or decent screen or mobile internet coverage... you guys paid for my 100 euro quad core smartphone with a 5 inch screen and 13mp camera

To you guys who are spending a small fortune on 4k televisions now, way before there is any content available for them, you are paving the way for me to get a better more reliable one for 500 quid in a few years time

To the massochists who are getting travel sick with early versions of the Oculus Rift, you're taking the pain so that I'll get my very own fully functional holodeck for my 40th birthday.

IvaBigWun · 09-09-2014 02:35PM

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

Google Glass.

Is it past beta yet?

For Forks Sake · 09-09-2014 02:38PM

IvaBigWun wrote: »

So apparently the iPhone 6 is just hours away and as I look at my own smartphone here I wonder; "what the fcuk do we need on a new phone that we don't already have now?"

This is what Apples 'new' product launches remind me of...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaOgZwk9rN8

Karl Stein · 09-09-2014 02:44PM

Karl Stein wrote: »

I've recently patented the 'ChewBot'. It's a robot that chews your food for you and then spits it into your mouth; it will take the hassle out of having to chew your own food.

byronbay2 wrote: »

Great idea, but instead of spitting the chewed up food into your mouth (some people might find it a bit bleeagh) the food should be put in the top of the ChewBot, gradually ground into smaller pieces as it goes through and then served through a hole at the bottom as a kind of "99" (without the cone and flake) onto a plate!

We're onto something we are.

jimgoose · 09-09-2014 03:01PM

catallus · 09-09-2014 03:10PM

solomafioso wrote: »

This. Waste of time and money...

Soap dispensers? Seriously, you have a problem with that?

Best thing since sliced bread.

Frank Lee Midere · 09-09-2014 03:12PM

Odd that this thread appears when Apple is having its conference not when Samsung started to make phones big as airports or screens that curved for no reason.

srsly78 · 09-09-2014 03:15PM

DubDJ wrote: »

Decent battery life. How nobody has realised this and invested resources into it I'll never know. I couldn't care how thinner my phone gets anymore.

There have been massive advances in battery technology in recent years. However this extra battery has been used to power hungrier electronics. Consider the processing power in your phone, it's equivalent to a full desktop pc 15 years ago.

KeithM89 · 09-09-2014 03:16PM

Frank Lee Midere wrote: »

Odd that this thread appears when Apple is having its conference not when Samsung started to make phones big as airports or screens that curved for no reason.

In the past month, its his 3rd thread having a go at apple.
Someone needs a hobby.

ancapailldorcha · 09-09-2014 03:17PM

srsly78 wrote: »

There have been massive advances in battery technology in recent years. However this extra battery has been used to power hungrier electronics. Consider the processing power in your phone, it's equivalent to a full desktop pc 15 years ago.

Crazy. An old school Nokia could probably go for weeks or even a month or 2 on a modern battery.

faceman · 09-09-2014 03:19PM

Remember when you'd laugh at your Da and grandad when he'd say "why in my day...."?

You're becoming him already....

Timberrrrrrrr · 09-09-2014 03:20PM

Pretty amazing how far we have come though

eamonnq · 09-09-2014 03:21PM

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Crazy. An old school Nokia could probably go for weeks or even a month or 2 on a modern battery.

but it could not play Angry Birds.

New technology and gizmos that can go and ask our collective lovely årses

Comments