Have you ever cheated?

Ughh · 02-09-2014 12:55PM

Nope.

Putins Assassin · 02-09-2014 01:02PM

Peist2007 wrote: »

My point is that saying to your partner "i was drunk" is not an excuse. You were drunk. You did exactly what you wanted to do. The alcohol didnt make you lose your autonomy.

One's desires are nothing to be ashamed of as one doesn't choose what one desires.

irish gent · 02-09-2014 01:05PM

I never cheated in 20 years of my marriage . I know a few guys that are and have and they have a great marriage and with no guilt whats so ever . I was a thick all my married life yes dear no dear . Never again will I get married not worth the pain .I will buy a dog for company ..Sorry for the outburst !!

HeyyMeow · 02-09-2014 01:20PM

Nope I have never cheated.

Zamboni · 02-09-2014 01:24PM

There seems to be a popular discourse of fidelity that does not appear to be related to reality.
From my decades of anecdotal knowledge of men - the one's that can cheat, do and the one's that can't, don't.
There is an ethnic minority of those that can and don't. Their good lads. Hold onto them girls.

Putins Assassin · 02-09-2014 01:27PM

Zamboni wrote: »

There seems to be a popular discourse of fidelity that does not appear to be related to reality.
From my decades of anecdotal knowledge of men - the one's that can cheat, do and the one's that can't, don't.
There is an ethnic minority of those that can and don't. Their good lads. Hold onto them girls.

What's your thought's on female fidelity?

fleet_admiral · 02-09-2014 01:28PM

On girlfriends when I was a teenager yes, Not since my 20's though

Zamboni · 02-09-2014 01:33PM

Putins Assassin wrote: »

What's your thought's on female fidelity?

Female fidelity would be far closer to public discourse than British and American soap opera's would have us all believe.

Macavity. · 02-09-2014 03:56PM

No, but I wouldn't be overly critical of those who have. Temptation is everywhere and humans are naturally weak. Saying that it would still be a deal breaker for me in a relationship.

AudreyHepburn · 02-09-2014 04:01PM

I've never cheated and never would. It would be a deal breaker for me.

If you are that unhappy with your partner then end the relationship. Cheating only hurts all those involved.

akelly02 · 02-09-2014 04:02PM

i have milked into the wrong bucket once. Not my proudest moment but turns out she was a compulsive liar so i dont feel half as guilty anymore.

cletus van damme · 02-09-2014 04:59PM

Putins Assassin wrote: »

What's your thought's on female fidelity?

My thoughts are this. For 3 years I worked in a dublin city centre hotel at weekends. It was popular with hens and stags both irish and English groups.
In that time not 1 groom to be brought a lady back to the hotel.
I cannot say the same for the brides to be.
Make of it what you will.

But from my social life I'd say they cheat the same

The Cool · 02-09-2014 06:54PM

Never have cheated and never would.
I was the "other woman" once. The guy told me stories about his "psycho ex", had a good bitch about her, etc etc and we had a friends with benefits set-up. I found out a couple of months later that he and the girl had never broken up; in her mind, they were perfectly happy in their relationship of 2 years. I felt so sick about what he had done to her and that I had had any involvement in it, knowing or not.
That was in 2009 and AFAIK they're still together now. He's an utter pile of shít.

endacl · 02-09-2014 06:57PM

The One Who Knocks wrote: »

...One time I tried switching to my left hand but felt too guilty.

Username short for 'The One Who Knocks One Out'?

Adamantium · 02-09-2014 07:22PM

I once had sexual intercourse.....if you know what I mean.

cookie24 · 02-09-2014 07:23PM

I'm proud to say I have never cheated but ashamed to say I never had the opportunity

FullblownRose · 02-09-2014 08:01PM

The Cool wrote: »

Never have cheated and never would.
I was the "other woman" once. The guy told me stories about his "psycho ex", had a good bitch about her, etc etc and we had a friends with benefits set-up. I found out a couple of months later that he and the girl had never broken up; in her mind, they were perfectly happy in their relationship of 2 years. I felt so sick about what he had done to her and that I had had any involvement in it, knowing or not.
That was in 2009 and AFAIK they're still together now. He's an utter pile of shít.

That;s typical behaviour. The person demonises their existing partner to their new one, to absolve themself of guilt. Anyone could be taken in by it.

csallmighty · 02-09-2014 11:09PM

R1, r1, circle, r2, up, down, up, down, up, down

I feel so ashamed

Peist2007 · 03-09-2014 02:10PM

Putins Assassin wrote: »

One's desires are nothing to be ashamed of as one doesn't choose what one desires.

Never said anything about shame. But lovely comment. Really rolled off my tongue

Fuzzytrooper · 03-09-2014 02:39PM

God mode much?

strobe · 03-09-2014 03:11PM

Nah, never cheated, never would, you see how badly it messes with some people's heads being cheated on, can take them years to trust anyone they are in a relationship afterwards, and some never do, always end up thinking, "well I trusted Billy and look what happened there, how can I really trust Johnny" and they end up screwing up perfectly good relationships afterwards. Sometimes it's a permanent head screw for people and they never fully get over it. So it's not just the immediate pain it can cause someone, it can genuinely effect their happiness and quality of life for an extended time period. (not everyone obviously, some people just shrug their shoulders, say "meh, that was a **** buzz" and can forget all about it. But you just don't know if someone will be effected in the former way).

Having said that, there were a few, I suppose 'grey zone' situations when I was younger, whereby if you were to ask some girls they'd say that I had cheated on them. My take was we'd never actually had "the exclusivity talk" and therefore we were 'casual' and free to hook up with other people if we wanted. Sort of operating in a "hey, technically, we never discussed if we were only seeing each other, and I never actually said I wasn't going to sleep with any of your friends" loophole.
In my defense, if any girl had actually come out and said "so, we exclusive here?" or "wanna be my bf?" or anything else along those lines, I'd have been straight with them and let them know that wasn't what I wanted. But in retrospect, I think I realised on a couple of occasions that that's what they wanted and should have taken responsibility in terms of making sure everyone was singing from the same hymn sheet rather than letting things continue on as far as I did.

Genuinely regret not doing so and any hurt I may have caused anyone along the way.

The Purveyor of Truth · 03-09-2014 03:45PM

strobe wrote: »

Having said that, there were a few, I suppose 'grey zone' situations when I was younger, whereby if you were to ask some girls they'd say that I had cheated on them. My take was we'd never actually had "the exclusivity talk" and therefore we were 'casual' and free to hook up with other people if we wanted..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzGRCPyd-h0

mrty · 03-09-2014 11:55PM

strobe wrote: »

Nah, never cheated, never would, you see how badly it messes with some people's heads being cheated on, can take them years to trust anyone they are in a relationship afterwards, and some never do, always end up thinking, "well I trusted Billy and look what happened there, how can I really trust Johnny" and they end up screwing up perfectly good relationships afterwards. Sometimes it's a permanent head screw for people and they never fully get over it. So it's not just the immediate pain it can cause someone, it can genuinely effect their happiness and quality of life for an extended time period. (not everyone obviously, some people just shrug their shoulders, say "meh, that was a **** buzz" and can forget all about it. But you just don't know if someone will be effected in the former way).

Having said that, there were a few, I suppose 'grey zone' situations when I was younger, whereby if you were to ask some girls they'd say that I had cheated on them. My take was we'd never actually had "the exclusivity talk" and therefore we were 'casual' and free to hook up with other people if we wanted. Sort of operating in a "hey, technically, we never discussed if we were only seeing each other, and I never actually said I wasn't going to sleep with any of your friends" loophole.
In my defense, if any girl had actually come out and said "so, we exclusive here?" or "wanna be my bf?" or anything else along those lines, I'd have been straight with them and let them know that wasn't what I wanted. But in retrospect, I think I realised on a couple of occasions that that's what they wanted and should have taken responsibility in terms of making sure everyone was singing from the same hymn sheet rather than letting things continue on as far as I did.

Genuinely regret not doing so and any hurt I may have caused anyone along the way.

You said it, completely agree people really should consider the consequences of their actions before they act.

cactuspaw · 04-09-2014 12:50AM

The Cool wrote: »

Never have cheated and never would.
I was the "other woman" once. The guy told me stories about his "psycho ex", had a good bitch about her, etc etc and we had a friends with benefits set-up. I found out a couple of months later that he and the girl had never broken up; in her mind, they were perfectly happy in their relationship of 2 years. I felt so sick about what he had done to her and that I had had any involvement in it, knowing or not.
That was in 2009 and AFAIK they're still together now. He's an utter pile of shít.

I hear ya, pretty much same stuff with me. There are a lot of guys out there who don't get the whole concept of "committed" relationship.

Have you ever cheated?

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