Irish teetotalers - what's it like?

chrissb8 · 29-08-2014 06:10PM

Irish people don't like seeing others trying to better themselves around drink. They take it as a slight when someone isn't drinking because they assume they think you're too good for them all of a sudden. In reality it just p***es them off that someone else can get by in life and enjoy it without getting drunk and have a higher amount of self control.

seamus · 29-08-2014 06:14PM

Burky126 wrote: »

Through some crazy miracle,I managed to avoid drinking until I was 20. It never bothered me that I didn't drink. Sure my mates would rip into me now and then when I hung out with them at bars before I started but they were, on the most part, fine with it.

I don't drink now and have been sober for months now. Due to how things are presently, I have no inclination of ever going back to the stuff. It was fun while it lasted but I think back and remember that 6/10 times I got drunk weren't worth it in terms of money,health and behaviour. I just came to that conclusion and keep it with me like if it was a note in my back pocket.

I think this is an attitude you either develop or you don't, and you can't train yourself into it in your adult years. I knew a guy in school just like this. Just didn't have any interest in drink - "Tried it, didn't like it". Met him a few years later in college. He was nursing a pint, and when I commented on it he said he just gets it and holds onto it for most of the night so people won't keep pestering him to have a drink.

For someone like me who loves his few beers, I would find it nigh on impossible to get myself into this frame of mind. However, the longer you're off the beer, the less you feel drawn to it, so it would certainly get easier over time to say, "Nah, not for me".

29-08-2014 06:18PM

chrissb8 wrote: »

Irish people don't like seeing others trying to better themselves around drink. They take it as a slight when someone isn't drinking because they assume they think you're too good for them all of a sudden. In reality it just p***es them off that someone else can get by in life and enjoy it without getting drunk and have a higher amount of self control.

It might be that with some, but I think most of the time people don't think too much about it. Not drinking is outside the social norm in Ireland, and that just makes people uncomfortable generally, so they try persuade the non drinker to join in. There are those who think it shows them up though, that's true.

When people grow up a bit they're usually more comfortable with extending their ideas of normal behaviour. The younger you are, the more conformist you're likely to be among your peer group, and as you develop you get more comfortable with individuality and people going their own way is less socially threatening.

Holsten · 29-08-2014 06:19PM

"Why arn't you drinkin?
What's wrong?
Ah go on have one!
Ah come off it, you'll be having a few beers later!
Are you on antibiotics?
Look at this chap thinking he's great with his water!
Is that non alcoholic beer? Are you mad?"
Etc...

Young Blood · 29-08-2014 06:23PM

I think family life has a lot to do with how much a person drinks. My father introduced me to alcohol when I was about 12/13. He would give me sips of beer and whiskey and that kind of gave me a sense of responsibility around the stuff in later life.

My friend on the other hand came from a family who was very strict on the topic of drink, apparently because his grand father was an alcoholic, and his mother was a teetotaler and very religious as a result. I think hes a heavy drinker by Irish standards and his family influenced it for sure.

Paddy@CIRL · 29-08-2014 06:24PM

I'm 28 and have never drank in my life. No idea why, I don't hold anything against people who do, I guess it's just not my thing. I prefer to either work or work on my car and drive.

As one poster above put it, it does get tiresome getting interrogated every time you order a diluted orange on a night out. That's definitely the worst part of not drinking.

ardle1 · 29-08-2014 06:27PM

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Thats true. As you get older, especially if you are a parent of young children, there is very little peer pressure to drink. Any drinking you do is by pure choice, and life is far easier if you drink very little or none at all.

Absolutely, I'd also just like to add.... Everything seems(as it should)less stressful, jobs you have to do are no longer a chore but a challenge you look forward to or at least don't mind doing, also I would say there is far less depression in non drinkers... In fact I would bet a lot of money on that particular point!

Tarzana · 29-08-2014 06:31PM

Candie wrote: »

And that's only within the first 8 posts of the thread.

Two of those comments were clearly jokes.

Ave Sodalis · 29-08-2014 06:38PM

I'm a non drinker, 20 and going into my final year of college. I've gotten drunk once or twice to see what it's like and I've tried most drinks but it's really a hassle to spend a heap of money on something that tastes disgusting, in order to get yourself into a mindset that you don't particularly enjoy being in. I still go out and stuff and I don't mind other people drinking, as long as they're not messy or violent. The response I find works best is "I don't need to". It doesn't really give much room for discussion, unlike "I don't want to". Then people just try to change your mind.

Tarzana · 29-08-2014 06:42PM

seamus wrote: »

Like being vegetarian, I imagine the hardest part of being an Irish teetotaller is having every second person ask you why, and one in ten people getting a little bit angry and confrontational about it.

I can imagine people being more vocally perplexed about non-drinking than vegetarianism. Maybe I'm wrong.

Adamantium · 29-08-2014 06:43PM

I'm a very happy go lucky, rambling guy and people have remarked at that, so drinking offers no benefit to me, honestly it's a bit of a crutch.

It does make me quite sad how some men will hardly dare talk to a woman and will suddenly start hitting on every last woman in a club after knocking back a tonne.

Chrisssttt...they're just as human and as scared as you.

Honestly not drinking as a teenager except like once every 2 years, made me dive head first into building a personality, I just didn't know it at the time, that was what I was doing. I prefer stumbling my way and learning as I go.

Tarzana · 29-08-2014 06:45PM

I've been tinkering with the idea of quitting completely. Drinking makes me really anxious and depressed, plus I earn 20k per annum and live in Dublin. I simply can't afford regular drinking sessions. And I want to lose some weight. Another good reason to quit.

mickoftheglens · 29-08-2014 06:49PM

I am a teetotaler but it means that I am also unsociable and don't go to pubs or clubs

Calina · 29-08-2014 06:54PM

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

It must take some amount of effort to avoid ever drinking in Ireland. I didn't drink till 18 but even then the amount of peer pressure is extraordinary.

While I agree that there is a whole pile of peer pressure around drink, the simple truth is if someone genuinely doesn't want to drink, they won't.

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

Anyone here a teetotaler? How do people react to you? I think you are an endangered species in Ireland and some protective measures might need to be put in place :pac:

I'm from Ireland but don't drink. I also lived out of the country for five years after college graduation and came back in 1999. For the most part, I got grief from people who, while not forcing alcohol on me, made it abundantly clear that they could not understand why someone wouldn't drink and why someone could not see the attraction of getting ratarsed drunk and swapping stories about how heavy their hangovers were.

IME, a lot of Irish people aren't so much interested in drinking as in getting trashed and then finding others who did so when they're sick, they can convince themselves they're all in it together.

Mostly, I have found that a) some people go "Designated driver, yeehaw, I can get trashed" and b) some people don't actually remember when you leave because they are trashed.

None of my friends have ever tried to bully me into drinking something I don't want to drink. The only people who have are people who don't really know me, workmates and the like. I've long been of the opinion its a lack of self confidence on their part.

The whole "great night, can't remember a thing" was damn all use as a trope to hang an ad against drinking too much when a whole whack of people used it as a badge of honour. I've heard that.

So OP - the issue in Ireland in my view is not that people drink, but that people drink to get drunk. We wouldn't be having this conversation if getting drunk wasn't the objective.

Daveysil15 · 29-08-2014 06:55PM

Apparently there are over 130,000 pioneers in Ireland now so its not that uncommon.

I rarely drink. It's not as much of a problem now as it was when I was in my early 20's. There's more peer pressure on youngsters to got out and get pissed.

Calina · 29-08-2014 06:55PM

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Apparently there are over 130,000 pioneers in Ireland now so its not that uncommon.

Nothing on this planet would persuade me to sign up to the pioneer movement.

Burky126 · 29-08-2014 07:00PM

seamus wrote: »

I think this is an attitude you either develop or you don't, and you can't train yourself into it in your adult years. I knew a guy in school just like this. Just didn't have any interest in drink - "Tried it, didn't like it". Met him a few years later in college. He was nursing a pint, and when I commented on it he said he just gets it and holds onto it for most of the night so people won't keep pestering him to have a drink.

For someone like me who loves his few beers, I would find it nigh on impossible to get myself into this frame of mind. However, the longer you're off the beer, the less you feel drawn to it, so it would certainly get easier over time to say, "Nah, not for me".

That depends how early you start drinking,right? I'm sure if I started as a teenager, I would still be at it,a taste of alcohol is something you become more adjusted to the earlier you start. I wonder how old that guy you knew from in school was when he started. Also,your first drink is also a indicator to some degree if drinking is for you.

What happened to get me in my current frame of mind was replacing the negative (which would often come to the surface whenever I thought back on events no matter how well I previously imagined them) with positive outcomes towards taking up other activities or goals I always wanted to do. It wasn't something I did overnight either, I drank less and less over a period of months until that was that, the need was gone. It is a huge task and anyone who has tried on their own,my heart goes out to them.

The pub is so ingrained in the heart of all culture in this country it's hard to ignore it. At the end of it all, if you don't feel like you shouldn't drink because of health and/or pressure,don't. You've no one to answer to but yourself, not regular Karl who complains the whole night that "you're no craic no more."

As sup dude mentioned,the response is

"I don't need to".

RobertKK · 29-08-2014 07:18PM

I don't drink alcohol, I use to but gave it up near three years ago, was never really into it as both parents didn't drink and I don't know if that influenced it

I am just a tea addict.

Daveysil15 · 29-08-2014 07:22PM

Calina wrote: »

Nothing on this planet would persuade me to sign up to the pioneer movement.

I've a couple of pioneers in the booth of my car. There's a great sound off them.

Inanna · 29-08-2014 07:26PM

I don't drink but I wouldn't call myself a teetotaller as to me that implies going out of your way to avoid it due to some moral objection. I just don't have any interest in drinking. I've drunk at occasions like weddings and such in the past where it's sort of expected but that's it.

29-08-2014 07:29PM

Tarzana wrote: »

I've been tinkering with the idea of quitting completely. Drinking makes me really anxious and depressed, plus I earn 20k per annum and live in Dublin. I simply can't afford regular drinking sessions. And I want to lose some weight. Another good reason to quit.

All of that is good motivation, specially the anxious depressed bit.

FloatingVoter · 29-08-2014 07:31PM

Ireland is full of non-drinkers. You could class them in three groups

- those who never drank and never will
- those who actually do socially drink -ie. a sherry at Christmas (NOT I only get pissed when my mates come over).
- those that have had to give up due to chronic alcoholism.

I was in the first group until I was seven. Then spent the next three years in group two. After that it went pearshaped and I'm now ducking in and out of group three.

29-08-2014 07:32PM

Tarzana wrote: »

Two of those comments were clearly jokes.

I'm aware of that, but it's part of the culture of ridicule surrounding not drinking.

Durz0 Blint · 29-08-2014 07:35PM

Never had any problems being a non-drinker, although my friends are not c*nts who would pressure you to do something you don't want to.

Y'all need to find better friends

FloatingVoter · 29-08-2014 07:36PM

Candie wrote: »

I'm aware of that, but it's part of the culture of ridicule surrounding not drinking.

Nobody worth knowing is going to ridicule you for not drinking. If some idiot thinks getting wasted is a proof of manhood, pity him and move on (possibly to his girlfriend, she will be available).

29-08-2014 07:38PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Nobody worth knowing is going to ridicule you for not drinking. If some idiot thinks getting wasted is a proof of manhood, pity him and move on (possibly to his girlfriend, she will be available).

Sound advice, but I'm a straight woman

The ridicule thing is a subtle thing, and its mainly teenagers and early 20's where it's a problem. I've noticed much less of it since I went over 25, and it's nearly non existent outside Ireland.

The_Valeyard · 29-08-2014 07:40PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Nobody worth knowing is going to ridicule you for not drinking. If some idiot thinks getting wasted is a proof of manhood, pity him and move on (possibly to his girlfriend, she will be available).

Well thats lovely, sneaky women stealing :pac:

FloatingVoter · 29-08-2014 07:46PM

Candie wrote: »

Sound advice, but I'm a straight woman

The ridicule thing is a subtle thing, and its mainly teenagers and early 20's where it's a problem. I've noticed much less of it since I went over 25, and it's nearly non existent outside Ireland.

Yeah, I was aiming the comment at teenage boys of all ages. They tend to be the ones who do the "I drank 50 pints of meths" horse manure.
And true enough, once (and if) you reach a certain mental age it disappears.

Turtwig · 29-08-2014 07:47PM

Have absolutely no idea why I'm a teetotaler. Just don't get the whole fuss about drink. Having seen people drunk it just never appealed to me- even though I understand many people drink without getting drunk. I've had on occasion had people spiking my drink thinking it'd be good for me. Show me the errors of my ways or some sht. This was all during teenage and very early twenties though. Only time I absolutely hate nowadays is Christmas. It's that time every year when at home among folks who I mostly avoid in general that I get completely sick of folks asking why I'm not having a drink? I don't need alcohol to lift my inhibitions, I don't find it particularly funny or appealing to do something that would be instantly regretted if I was sober. I have no desire to smoke or take any drugs and I guess alcohol falls into that. Coming to think of it maybe I do know why I'm a teetotaler?:o

The worse thing about it is that so many people actually mean well but to them there is no other way of enjoying oneself without having a drink. That's somewhat depressing actually.:(

Ficheall · 29-08-2014 07:49PM

I don't drink, never have. Never really bothered me unduly except for the lack of dutch courage to chat to drunken ladies.

What does bother me, even to this day, is people's insistence on having a drink of the non-alcoholic variety. If I say I don't want a 7up, I don't want one...

And then there's the very Irish... the "Do you want a cup of tea?" etc.
"Are you sure I can't get you a cup of tea?"
"A sandwich?"
"A biccie?"
My granny, god rest her, was a terror for that.

Irish teetotalers - what's it like?

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